Tiger Thoughts

- Where are all those people who were writing career obituaries for Tiger Woods just 12 months ago? I'm sure they're all back on the bandwagon today and have conveniently forgotten how they wrote off Woods during his nine majors without a victory. (For the record, one year ago today I was defending Tiger Woods in this space when much of the sports world was questioning whether marriage, a coaching change, a swing change, his father's health, better competition, global warming or the ongoing crisis in Darfur were the cause of Tiger's rapid demise.)
Don't say Tiger is bach; he was never gone to begin with. Not winning a few majors qualifies not as a slump, particularly when Woods was openly tinkering with his swing in an attempt to curb mistakes and pain caused by the one he was using at the time. It's not the first time Tiger has undertaken a huge shot revamping at a time when he least appeared to need one.
After Tiger won his first Masters all the way back in 1997, he changed his swing, which had been too erratic, and didn't win another major until the 1999 PGA. During that stretch, critics were ripping Woods for changing a swing that led to six USGA amateur titles and produced the biggest rout in Masters history. But Tiger (and coach Butch Harmon) knew that a better shot was out there, so they worked for 18 months and created a swing that Tiger used in 2000/2001 during what became the most dominating stretch in sports history.
But Tiger still wasn't satisfied. He didn't like his swing plane and the force with which he hit the ball was aggrevating an old knee injury.
In January, Tiger told Golf Digest's Jamie Diaz that only two golfers in history "owned their swing": Moe Norman and Ben Hogan. "I want to own mine" Woods said. So Tiger worked on "refining" his swing (this time with Mark O'Meara's swing coach, Hank Haney).
His 2003 and 2004 seasons were relative disappointments, but would have been career years for 95% of golfers on the Tour. Even though he gauges his seasons based on major wins, Tiger was still having a great deal of success, winning the 2003 PGA Player of the Year Award despite having a Grand Slam shut-out.
Some thought Tiger was crazy to mess with success, which led to much criticism during his major-less run. But it was clear that Tiger was close with his swing, and when he got there, the Tiger of old would return.
The "refinement" of Tiger's swing turned into a complete overhaul, but it clearly worked and Woods has now regained his position atop the golfing world.
And it's not even close.

- If Michael Campbell hadn't played unbelievable golf on the back-nine at Pinehurst last month, Tiger Woods would be playing for the Grand Slam at Baltusrol in three weeks.

- Barring injury, Woods will pass Nicklaus' record by 2015. Last March I said he'd do it at the 2014 British Open (when he'll be 38). That sounds good, let's stick with that.

- Don't discount the intimidation factor when discussing the routs Tiger puts on in majors. Colin Montgomerie said yesterday on ABC that he was very much aware of Woods' presence atop the leaderboard and it caused him to change his thinking about how he was going to win the tournament.
It was a very revealing comment and speaks to how much Tiger really affects other players.
It's no coincidence that Tiger has never been challenged by what could be considered a worthy advisary at a major. Phil, Ernie, Retief, Vijay, David Duval and others have all wilted on Sundays against Tiger and never have put up a fight in a major. Those guys can say they're not intimidated until the cows come home, but the facts don't lie. When Tiger is leading a tournament, other players know their chances are just about done.
The only two times Tiger's had to battle down the stretch of a major were against players with nothing to lose, like in his wonderful 2000 duel with Bob May at the PGA Championship and this past April with Chris DiMarco at The Masters.
There's only one way to solve this, and that is to intimidate Tiger. But how can one possibly do this? Oh, I'm so glad you asked.
Pull up a chair my friends. You're about to be enlightened:
When I was at the U.S. Open a few weeks back watching the leaders tee off on #1, I had an epiphany. More on that in a second...
Golf is the most civilized of games. Professional golfers keep score for their opponents, they never trash-talk and rarely do anything that could be possibly interpreted as distasteful while on the course.
Yet, golf is a game where intimidation is crucial. Playing the final round of the Masters takes a little over four hours, but of those four hours, only about two minutes are spent actually hitting the ball. For the rest of the time, a golfer is all alone with his thoughts. If he allows scoreboard watching, illusions of grandeur, the distance of his playing partners tee shot, the blonde with the fake boobs on the 13th hole or any other stray thought to enter his head, it would absolutely affect any golfer's play.
The great players can tune out most everything; but even Tiger Woods snaps when he hears the "click" of a camera shutter.
Speaking of Tiger; he's the most intimidating golfer of them all. When he steps to the tee in the final round of any tournament, the rest of the field takes notice.
Tiger's been beaten in the final round before and has had some lesser known players challenge him on Sundays, but on the whole nobody has gotten in Tiger's head... until now.
Here's my idea (if only I were a professional golfer):
If I were paired with Tiger in the final round of a major, I would wear a windbreaker to the first tee. For the sake of this discussion, let's say I'd tee-off second, but it really doesn't matter.
During the obligatory handshake and banter I would never look Tiger in the eye, instead focusing my eyes on some inanimate object in the background. Then, I'd go back to my bag and watch him tee-off. When our paths would cross as I moved toward the tee, I'd mutter "nice shot... bitch" almost inaudibly so that Tiger would have to ask himself what he really heard. By the time he figured out what I said, my driver would be out and I'd be placing my ball into the ground.
After taking a huge swing and watching my ball land safely in the fairway, I'd turn towards Tiger, stare at him for a split second, then remove my windbreaker to reveal a red Nike shirt. I'd then throw the windbreaker to the ground, yell "what?" at Tiger, in a way that would suggest Tiger better back the hell up before he gets smacked the hell up.
After this, I'd walk down the fairway at a brisk pace and never look at Tiger again the entire round.
Man, this would be sweet... and somebody should seriously do this. OK, maybe not the insults and the throw-down, but there's gotta be someone out there with enough stones to put on a red Nike shirt on Sunday at a major. Tiger wears that shirt to intimidate everyone else, why shouldn't he get a taste of his own medicine?
Not only would this mess with Tiger's head (no matter how Tiger reacted to the shirt, it would break his concentration for a split second and put a new thought in his head seconds before the final round of a major), but it would be a marketing coup and companies would be lining up to sign golf's "bad boy" (it's a relative term) to endorsement deals.
This is a million-dollar idea; maybe my best ever. Although I still think 24-Hour Fun Day is a winner too.

- With HDTV, satellites and countless other new innovations, why does ABC's broadcast of The British Open still look like it was shot in 1974? Shoot, the picture was so grainy it made the Paris Hilton tape look like Saving Private Ryan.

- Mike Tirico, like Cherry Coke and the 1991 Washington Redskins, is vastly underrated. And Nick Faldo is great in the booth. I bet Faldo, in his prime, could have pulled off "The Red Shirt Project". Actually, I don't know if a Brit could make it work. They sound way too civilized to talk trash. Can you imagine a British guy in the NBA trying to talk smack to Kobe: "I say old boy, I'm going to take you to university and then ring your mum and tell her how brilliant my J is."
Alright, I think writing about British trash-talk is a surefire sign to call it a day.