Monday Afternoon Cornerback

Paul Tagliabue's mailbox will be overflowing with Christmas cards this season from NFC teams thanks to a bizarre year which has seen the NFL gift-wrap three games for playoff contenders.
The Giants, who were given an unprecedented ninth home game by the league, will send a picture of Eli Manning sitting on Santa's lap (presumably asking him for a QB rating higher than David Carr's).
Tampa, now at the top of their division thanks to a non-two point conversion by Mike Alstott, will send a simple note scribbled quickly by Jon Gruden in between his 3:34 and 3:35 a.m. film sessions.
And Dallas, who had two favorable decisions go their way in the final seconds of their crucial home game versus the Chiefs yesterday, will send the league office a few coupons for a free consult with Dr. Mark McGuire, the personal plastic surgeon of Jerry Jones.
These three teams could likely make the playoffs thanks to the victories, a disconcerting fact for the Vikings, Redskins, Falcons and other NFC teams vying for a playoff spot without the aid of the suits and stripes.
The latest atrocity took place yesterday in Dallas. On 3rd and goal from the six-yard line, Cowboys QB Drew Bledsoe rolled out right and was chased by a Chiefs defender. At the exact moment the Chiefs player grabbed Bledsoe, poised to sack him, thus putting Dallas in a difficult 4th and 17 situation, Marco Rivera tackled him from behind. Seriously. He tackled him. In the open field. The referee, watching the play intently, reached for his flag to call the blatant holding but decided against it as Bledsoe threw an incompletion, which set up 4th and goal from the 7.
Let me reiterate, and I'm not exaggerating here: This was as obvious as holding gets. It took place in the middle of the field right in front of the referee. There is zero doubt Bledsoe would have been sacked had the Chiefs defender not been tackled from behind. Yet, the ref decided to hold his flag. Maybe he didn't want a penalty to be the biggest play of the contest.
On the next play, however, the officials had no such qualms about deciding the game via a flag; they called defensive holding on the Chiefs after the Cowboys failed to convert on 4th down. The call gave Dallas an automatic first down. They scored two plays later.
I had no problem with the defensive holding call on 4th down, mind you. There was holding (albeit it was much less obvious than on the play before). But you can't call a penalty on 4th if you're going to make the conscious decision not to call one on 3rd. As my buddy Ben put it yesterday, "if you're gonna [wimp] out on third down, you have to [wimp] out on fourth down too."
Even with the penalty, Dallas still could have scored from the 17. But it would have been a lot less likely. That extra W will be key when the playoff spots are decided on New Year's Day, not just for the Cowboys, but for the teams fighting them for a wild card spot. (Unlike the Bucs call, which could end up ruining Washington's season, the Cowboys call has little effect on the Redskins. The only way a Chiefs win yesterday would really help the 'Skins is if they lose to the Cowboys next week. Then, the Redskins could theoretically win out and make the playoffs at 9-7. But Joe Gibbs' team really needs to beat Dallas next week anyway. If they do, they'll hold a tiebreaker over them, and that's really all that matters to them.)

Sunday Thoughts
- Now that Elisha Manning has blown up the "he's great in the 4th quarter" argument, what are his lovers in the media going to hang their hat on now? His ability to grow stubble in just 96 short hours?

- Prediction: Tony Dungy will play his starters in weeks 15 and 16, but rest them for most of week 17, regardless of the team's record. But I still say they're not going undefeated.

Sunday Superlatives
Game of the Day: Dallas 31 - Kansas City 28
Reason #87 why dissecting playoff races four weeks out is worthless: 24 hours ago, the Steelers were left for dead in the AFC Wild Card chase. Today, they'd be the 6th seed.

Upset of the Day: Miami 23 - San Diego 21
Good to know Chargers fans are getting to know the real Marty Schottenheimer. How does LaDainian Tomlinson only get 22 touches in a game where Drew Brees throws the ball 52 times? This has to be a candidate for worst loss of the year.

Player of the Day: Jerome Bettis, RB, Pittsburgh
The Bus is back. And so are the Steelers.

Faulk Fantasy Player of the Day: Larry Johnson - 143 rsh yds, 28 rec yds, 3 TD - 34 fantasy points
The best thing that could have happened to anyone with Priest Holmes and Larry Johnson on their roster was Priest going down with a season-ending injury. Now getting all the carries, Johnson has been the best and most consistent fantasy player since Halloween.

Boldin Fantasy Player of the Day: Ryan Moats - 114 rsh yds, 2 TD - 25 fantasy points
Moats did that on only 11 carries, by the way. Meanwhile, on the other side of the field, Tom Coughlin once again decided to run Brandon Jacobs on goal-to-go from the 1, and - shockingly - he failed on two attempts. This is the at least the fourth time this season the supposedly bruising Jacobs has failed to get in on two consecutive attempts on the goal line. What the hell are they thinking in New York? I've said it before, but I seriously think the Giants coaches believe the New York media and have bought into the fact that:
a) Eli Manning is good.
b) Brandon Jacobs is a goal line back.
There is no doubt Tiki Barber would have made it on two attempts from the one, so why is Jacobs in there? Other than his press clippings, there is no evidence to suggest Jacobs is an effective goal line back. It's unbelievable and just one of many reasons why the Giants are the most overrated team in football.

Fantasy Bust of the Day: LaMont Jordan - 49 rsh yds, 30 rec yds - 7 fantasy points
Seven points is OK if it came against a solid defense. But against the Jets? I just hope you weren't relying on Jordan to win in your fantasy playoffs.

Predictions
Ouch. 8-7 on the afternoon. Sadly, those seven losses weren't the worst decisions I made yesterday.

Who I Like On Monday Night And I Don't Mean My Decision To Start Joe Horn Over Bobby "18 Points" Engram In My Fantasy Football Playoffs
Question: Is an onside kick recovery considered a fumble recovery? Because according to Fanball, the Web site that hosts my fantasy football league, it is. But the NFL says it's not.
This is a pertinent issue because I am currently down ten points in my fantasy game with Joe Horn left to play. Had I started Bobby Engram, I would have already advanced, but since there's no use crying over unstarted receivers, I have to focus on the now.
According to the official NFL stats, Jacksonville had zero fumble recoveries against Indy. I assume this means that a recovered onside kick is not ruled as a fumble. And it really shouldn't be. One can only fumble if one has possession. A ball that deflects off a player and into the hands of the opposing team was never possesed, therefore can't be a fumble. But Fanball says it is, and since it seems they've made their scoring adjustments for the day, I guess I'm down ten instead of nine. So, go Joe Horn. You haven't caught a TD pass since September, but I have faith. Falcons 30 - Saints 20. JoeHo - 6 catches, 67 yards, no TDs. My fantasy team: A premature exit from the No More Kleindinst playoffs.