ACC/Big 10 Challenge Re/Preview

Since when did the ACC/Big Ten Challenge turn into the ACC/Big Ten/Poached-Money-Grubbing-Schools-Most-Formerly-of-the-Big-East-Challenge?
Why was Virginia Tech opening up said Challenge on Monday? Who decided Miami should represent the conference last night in Ann Arbor, despite being a part of the ACC for about as long as that pimple on J.J. Redick's back? A nd what percentage of analysts will talk about a shift in the balance of power when the ACC loses their first ever Challenge tonight because of those aforementioned schools, who are 0-2, while the real ACC members are a stellar 3-1?
Sure, the ACC/Big Ten Challenge is a made-for-television event and doesn't mean too much in the grand scheme of things, but the ACC is a perfect 6-0 in the history of the young event and any blemish on that unbeaten mark will be on the hands on the evil John Swofford, who sold the soul of the nation's premiere basketball conference just to get a single football game pitting the choking dog Virginia Tech Hokies against the unranked, reeling Florida State Seminoles.
Nice job, John. You ruined the perfection that was the ACC's home-and-home schedule so Virginia 'Freakin Tech, which belongs in the ACC about as much as Notre Dame fits into the Mountain West, could back into an ACC title after getting thumped on their home field. But hey, it will all be worth it when Miami and Clemson renew their storied basketball rivalry this January.
With the Challenge tied 3-3 and five games on tap for tonight, the ACC, as I mentioned, is in danger of losing their first challenge in seven tries.
Nice victories by Clemson, Florida State and Wake Forest were wiped out by weak performances by the ACC's ugly stepchildren, Virginia Tech and Miami. UNC's loss to Illinois was expected, though the Heels hung around longer than most people anticipated. Wake's win was the best of the night, highlighted by Justin Gray's 37 points. (Why Skip Prosser isn't permanently moving him to the 2 and testing out Harvey Hale before conference play begins is a mystery though.) Turnovers (16) were still a problem for the Deacs, but Gray has cut down on his (he only had three last night). Gray running the point seems to work better, but if Hale can get better acclimated to the role before the big boys come to Winston-Salem, Wake Forest will be much better off come February.
If the ACC loses, it will be beacuse of the losses by VT and UM. The suits at ESPN will make a big deal about the ACC losing, but will likely fail to mention why they did. Just remember; subtract two wins from the Big Ten's total at the end of the challenge. That will be the real final tally.
Tonight's match-ups will be a little better than last night; only the Wake-Wisconsin game was really in doubt before the tip on Tuesday. (UNC/Illinois was the highlighted game of the Challenge, but with UNC returning zero starters, it was more because of the jerseys rather than the teams.) A quick preview and predictions:

Georgia Tech at Michigan State
This one should be the snoozer of the night, unless Michigan State is suffering from a post-Hawaii hangover like Connecticut (the Huskies struggled against lowly Army last night).
Pick: Michigan State (Big Ten; 4-3)

Minnesota at Maryland
With the Gophers leading scorer, Vincent Grier, out with an injury, Maryland should roll in a match-up that was hotly anticipated when the schedule was released. Minnesota lost at home to Gardner-Webb in their previous game without Grier, so it's tough to imagine they'll fare much better in the hostile Comcast Center. (Gardner-Webb hung tough with UNC earlier in the season also, so it's not that bad of a loss. Except that it's freakin' Gardner-Webb so it's totally that bad of a loss.)
Pick: Maryland (Challenge tied; 4-4)

Northwestern at Virginia
Dave Leitao's first big-game at UVA will be only seen by those with DirecTV, since this is the contest ESPN decided to put on its nearly-invisible ESPNU channel. (Virginia Tech/Ohio State was on regular TV, and Virginia gets the boot? Granted, that game was on Monday and everyone acted like it didn't happen last night; Brad Nessler repeatedly mentioned that Wake's victory over Wisconsin put the ACC up 1-0 in the Challenge. Or was the VT/OSU game on ESPNU too. I suppose I really don't know.)
Northwestern has been mentioned as a possible Tournament team, while UVA has been picked by nearly everyone to finish last in the conference. Still, University Hall is a tough place to play and Northwestern is still, well, Northwestern.
Pick: Virginia (ACC; 5-4)

Duke at Indiana
The second marquee game of the Challenge pits #1 Duke against an Indiana team Mike Davis has said is the most talented he's coached in Bloomington. That's saying a lot, considering IU went to the NCAA Finals in Davis' first year as head coach.
Last week, Drexel and Memphis had Duke on the ropes, but couldn't seem to make the big shot against the top-rated team in the country. Each had their chance late and only lost because of their own ineptitude. At this young point in the season, Duke is not nearly as good as the prognosticator's had forecasted. Memphis showed the nation what the ACC has known for three years; put a good defender on J.J. Redick and the Duke offense falls apart. For all his accolades, Shelden Williams is soft in the offensive paint and without another proven scoring threat, double teams can contain the All-American to a reasonable 15/10 night.
It's anyone's guess how Davis will choose to guard Redick and Williams, but with reigning Big Ten Freshman of the Year D.J. White's out, Redick could have free reign against the Hoosier defense.
Duke is #1 based on reputation only. If voters in the AP Poll had any gumption, they'd vote Connecticut #1 based on the way they rolled through the stacked field at the Maui Invitational. Duke has done nothing as of yet to show they deserve the #1 ranking. (This is the problem with pre-season polls; it takes a loss or act of God to get an undeserving #1 team out of the top spot. Voters are reluctant to move a team that hasn't lost, but has yet to impress. Duke, squeaking out wins against Drexel and Memphis, hardly looks like the best team in the country. With three freshman playing major minutes, the improvement is likely to come, but polls aren't supposed to be an indicator of the future, only a measure of the present.)
Even with all that, the smart money is still on Duke in this game. But don't surprised if the Hoosiers pull the upset. Or if Dick Vitale french-kisses Mike Krzyzewski before tip-off. Or if Vitale talks about Redick's poetry after every TV timeout. Or if Vitale starts humping Josh McRobert's leg during the postgame interview. Or if Vitale compares Redick to Derek Jeter. Or if Vitale mentions how great Chris Duhon is doing in the pros. Of if Vitale mentions how big of a mistake William Avery made by going pro five years ago. Or if Vitale discusses how the U.S. Basketball team is in great hands with Mike Krzyzewski. (Actually, I agree with Dickie V on that one, so I'll leave that be.) Or if Vitale says McRoberts has an NBA game, but should stay in school until 2016. Or if Vitale brings up Duke's "buddy system" which is such an easy mark, I won't even make any of the 4,500 obvious comments swimming through my head. Or if Vitale casually throws out names of other diaper dandies while drooling over McRoberts and Greg Paulas because he's reminded of the many stern lectures by his director for not mentioning anyone besides Dukies. Or if Vitale uses the words "underrated", "tenacious" or "high-energy" to describe Sean Dockery. Or if Vitale tells Doris Roberts she used to be a pretty good point guard herself. Or if Vitale stays silent for 3.5 straight seconds. Wait... Be shocked if that happens. My guess is that my mute button will be hit by the under-eight timeout.
Pick: Duke (ACC; 6-4)

North Carolina State at Iowa
Maybe the most intriguing game of the entire challenge, N.C. State heads to Iowa City to face a Hawkeye team that returns all five starters from an NCAA Tournament team. State, on the other hand, lost their best player to graduation. With Tony Bethel, Ilian Evtimov, Engin Atsur, Cameron Brennaman and Andrew Brackman on the floor, State has five guys with perimeter range though, something Iowa lacks.
The Hawkeyes should be able to control the game in the middle, but if any player on State gets hot, watch out.
Pick: Iowa (ACC; 6-5)

OK, I guess I still picked the ACC to win even though I said they'd lose because of those damn Hokies and Hurricanes. But I'm probably going to be wrong about that UVA/Northwestern game, which could be the deciding game of the entire event.
With the ACC's ill-advised expansion, they now have 12 teams in the conference. With only 11 in the curiously-named Big Ten, one ACC team will be left out of all Challenges. This year, Boston College got the shaft because it's their first year in conference. Next year, they'll almost definitely be included. If it's at the expense of a real ACC team, that would be a shame.
The conference should announce that from now until the end of the Challenge (the two leagues are signed up with ESPN through 2010; although another extension is likely due to the success of the event), the lone ACC school left out will alternate every year between the three new schools, Virginia Tech, Boston College and Miami. Although if they ever change the name of the tournament to the ACC/Big Ten/Teams-That-Can't-Win-In-Novemeber Challenge, Virginia Tech should get an automatic berth every time.

The Chaz Rankings: Week 12

Apparently, giving the New York Giants nine home games wasn’t enough. One day after their nail-biting overtime win over New York, the NFL informed the Seattle Seahawks that game officials blew two touchdown calls that went in the Giants favor and subsequently offered a formal apology to the team.
The calls, on touchdown receptions by Jeremy Shockey and Amami Toomer, respectively, were both ruled touchdowns on the field and upheld via replay review. Shockey’s TD came at the end of the first half on a third down play and was clearly not a touchdown, despite both rulings determining otherwise, while Toomer’s helped tie the game with under two minutes remaining in regulation. His catch was a lot closer and could have gone either way. That it went the Giants way, however, was not at all surprising.
There was never any doubt about which way those calls were going. Watching Giants games are like watching the 1972 Olympic basketball final; even when there is resounding evidence to the contrary, all the calls still have a way of breaking for the favored team.
I’ll give the NFL a small amount of credit though, at least they admitted their New York-bias. Granted, the story came out late last night and was buried on NFL.com (and ESPN.com) this morning and is now (12:15 p.m.) off both site’s main pages completely. And it was also a convenient time to apologize since the two blown calls didn’t hand the Giants a victory (you’ll notice there has still been no apology to the Saints for moving their “home” game to New York). You can bet the farm that if Seattle had lost that game, however, there would have been no such apology from the NFL.
Maybe this admission by the league will quiet all the Giants sycophants in the press, like Peter King, who have been whining for the past 48 hours about how the Seahawks “got lucky” in winning the game the other day. Nobody was talking about luck when the Patriots benefited from the most ridiculous rule in sports en route to their first Super Bowl title. It wasn’t luck when the Titans won a playoff game thanks to the Music City Miracle. But three missed field goals by a New York team and all of a sudden Seattle is luckier than Kevin Federline?
How about giving some credit to the Seattle defense for holding the Giants offense on the three drives so that the kicks were from 40, 54 and 48 yards, respectively. And surely the Giants play calling can get some of the blame; with 51 seconds left in the game New York was on the Seattle 31-yard line. Despite having time for a couple throws to the sideline, the Giants ran the ball up the middle, eventually reaching the 22-yard line. Feely then rushed on the field and missed the 40-yarder in regulation. Had they thrown the ball once or twice instead of playing for a 40-yard field goal, the Giants might be 8-3 today. But they’re not, and apparently there’s nobody to blame but Jay Feely for that.
On the Giants first overtime possession, the offense gained exactly zero yards on second and third down, leaving Feely with an unmakable 54-yarder. Yup, I can’t think of anyone else to blame.
And on what ended up being the Giants final possession of the game, Tiki Barber seemed to seal the game with a 49-yard run down to the Seahawks 31. For some reason, a pass play followed, which fell incomplete. On second down the Giants ran for four yards with Barber, only to see another Manning incompletion on third, setting up a 45-yarder for Feely which he, of course, missed.
None of this gets Feely off the hook, mind you. He should have been able to convert on at least the 40 yarder. (Although, the Giants called a running play on the down before the field goal attempt which caused Feely to rush his kick in order to get it off before the game clock hit zero. Had they thrown a pass, Feely would have had a full 40 seconds to get the kick off, instead of the 18 seconds he did.) But the Giants loss was a team effort. Even with the help of the officials they couldn’t get a W, which absolutely justifies Peter King ranking New York ahead of Seattle in his recent “Fine Fifteen”. Latte-loving kiss-ass.
And please don’t even get me started on Holmgren having to call a timeout in order to get a Shockey non-catch reviewed in overtime. The NFL should have apologized for that first.
Anyway, after all that, you won’t be shocked to find the Giants at #14 in the latest Chaz Rankings. The Bears make the big move of the week up from #10 to #5, while the Vikings jump into the top-half of the list for the first time all season. Miami (#27 to #20) also makes a big leap thanks, in large part, to the overwhelming crappiness of the bottom half of the league.
Pittsburgh finally moves out of the Top 5 after a dismal performance last in Indianapolis. No running game combined with an inordinate amount of screen passes equals blowout losses. Just ask Steve Spurrier.
The Seahawks probably aren’t the 3rd best team in the NFL (they might be the 3rd best team in the NFC), but even though I’m not sold on them and think they won’t make the NFC Championship Game, it’s tough to argue with a 9-2 record.
And anyone who thinks the Bears are too high, you’re an idiot. The Ravens won a Super Bowl five years ago and their offense was even worse than Chicago’s. And the Bears defense is better. Plus, Chicago has beat two of the NFC’s best teams in successive weeks. The best win Atlanta has is over Philly back in week one. Since then? Nada.
Houston blew a chance to get out the cellar by choking away a game against a Harvard grad (where’s Will Hunting when you need him) so they’ll stay at #32, even though the Jets are probably playing the worst football of any team in the league right now.
And, by the way, despite being 2-9, the Packers are still outscoring their opponents by nine points this season (232-223). That, my friends, is just the legend of Brett Favre in action.

1) Indianapolis Colts (11-0, #1)
2) Denver Broncos (9-2, #2)
3) Seattle Seahawks (9-2, #6)
4) San Diego Chargers (7-4, #4)
5) Chicago Bears (8-3, #10)
6) Pittsburgh Steelers (7-4, #3)
7) Cincinnati Bengals (8-3, #5)
8) Carolina Panthers (8-3, #11)
9) Jacksonville Jaguars (8-3, #8)
10) Dallas Cowboys (7-4, #7)
11) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (7-4, #9)
12) Kansas City Chiefs (7-4, #15)
13) Atlanta Falcons (7-4, #12)
14) New York Giants (7-4, #14)
15) Minnesota Vikings (6-5, #18)
16) New England Patriots (6-5, #13)
17) Washington Redskins (5-6, #17)
18) Philadelphia Eagles (5-6, #19)
19) St. Louis Rams (5-6, #20)
20) Miami Dolphins (4-7, #27)
21) Oakland Raiders (4-7, #16)
22) Buffalo Bills (4-7, #22)
23) Cleveland Browns (4-7, #21)
24) Detroit Lions (4-7, #23)
25) Arizona Cardinals (3-8, #25)
26) New Orleans Saints (3-8, #31)
27) Tennessee Titans (3-8, #28)
28) Baltimore Ravens (3-8, #26)
29) Green Bay Packers (2-9, #24)
30) San Francisco 49ers (2-9, #29)
31) New York Jets (2-9, #30)
32) Houston Texans (1-10, #32)

Monday Afternoon Cornerback

Way back in September, Joe Gibbs benched Redskins quarterback Patrick Ramsey in favor of veteran Mark Brunell. This came after Brunell led the team to an opening day victory following a Ramsey injury. It was a much scrutinized move; many observers wondered whether Gibbs had given Ramsey enough of a chance or if Brunell had anything left in the tank after an abysmal 2004 season.
For the first 56 minutes of Brunell’s first game as a starter, a Monday night contest in Dallas, the answer was clear: Gibbs had made a mistake. The 2005 Brunell was showing no improvement from the previous year.
With Dallas leading 13-0 with 4:15 left in the game, and Brunell limping towards a 17/31, 152 yard, one interception night, the QB attempted a deep pass to Taylor Jacobs in the endzone. The pass was about two yards short and ended up hitting off the facemask of Cowboys safety Roy Williams. Had Williams made the easy interception, Mark Brunell might not have started week 3 against Seattle and the cacophony Joe Gibbs criticism would have been deafening.
But Williams didn’t make the interception and three plays later Brunell hit Santana Moss for a 39-yard touchdown. Dallas appeared to have won the game after getting a first down on their next possession, but a holding call brought the play back. The Cowboys eventually were forced to punt, and after another Brunell-to-Moss connection for a TD Washington was up 14-13 and on their way to their second straight victory to open the 2005 season. Suddenly, Mark Brunell and Santana Moss were the toasts of the nation’s capital. That they were just one Roy Williams dropped interception away from facing a week of criticism and ridicule didn’t seem to matter.
This phenomena is not new, but has certainly been exacerbated by the 24-hour sports-talk culture fostered by ESPN. It’s not enough to analyze the game anymore, we have to dissect its meaning and make sweeping assumptions based on the results too. The only way to measure things now is by wins and losses. Playing well in a loss or playing poorly in a win doesn’t seem to matter. And in the standings, of course, it doesn’t. But it certainly matters when evaluating a team, player or coach.
The Washington Redskins have lost three straight games and everyone assumes they’re a terrible football team in need of a massive roster overhaul. Their owner hears this and probably believes it too. But nobody mentions that the Redskins were a blown goal line call, Walt Harris benching and Casey Rabach mental lapse away from winning those three games and leading the NFC East.
Yesterday, Tampa Bay kicker Matt Bryant failed to hit a 29-yard field goal that would have tied the Bucs-Bears game with 2:47 to go. Now, people in Tampa are wondering whether the Bucs have the offense to compete in the NFC and if the Bears are the new favorites in the NFC. But if Bryant hits that FG and the Bucs should win that game, those questions become irrelevant.
You can do this with nearly every team in the NFL: If Donovan McNabb doesn’t throw one of the worst interceptions in league history, the Eagles could still be in the playoff hunt. Instead, the entire next week was dedicated to stories about how Philly can’t win without Terrell Owens.
The Broncos secondary wilted in the Meadowlands and let Eli Manning march down the field, leading to a Giants victory. If Champ Bailey could make a play, nobody would be comparing Eli to John Elway. But Champ couldn’t do much of anything on that drive, so now Eli is a surefire Hall of Famer.
The list could go on and on. The 16-game schedule is partially to blame. With so few games, strange things can happen that can turn a 10-6 team into a 6-10 one in the blink of an eye. Mainly though, the utter mediocrity of most NFL teams is the reason so many team’s seasons hinge on so few plays.
What’s the difference between the Broncos, Chiefs and Chargers? Or the Giants, Cowboys, Redskins and Eagles? Or the Bengals, Steelers and Colts, for that matter? Not too much.
In today’s NFL, a few injuries, a few breaks and a few key plays are all that separates a great season from a disappointing one.

Sunday Superlatives
Game of the Day: San Diego 23 – Washington 17 (OT)
In a virtual elimination game, the Chargers came back from a ten-point 4th quarter deficit to tie the Redskins with under three minutes remaining. After a quick Washington three-and-out and another 38-yard punt from the worst punter ever to suit up in an NFL uniform (how Derrick Frost still has a job, despite not being able to punt over 40 yards, angle his punts or pooch punt is one of life’s great mysteries), it appeared San Diego would march down the field and win in regulation. But Marcus Washington made a great play on a Drew Brees throw, deflecting the ball into the hands of Shawn Springs and suddenly the Redskins had the ball on the Chargers 31 and their season appeared to be saved.
But on 2nd and 4 from the 25, center Casey Rabach nearly tackled a Chargers defender who was trailing on the play, earning a ten-yard holding penalty that put the Redskins out of John Hall’s range. Two weak play calls later, Hall attempted a 53-yarder that was neither long enough nor straight enough. The game went to overtime; two offensive plays later it was over. Just like the Redskins season.

Upset of the Day: Miami 33 – Oakland 21
The Norv Turner/Gus Frerotte reunion had all the feel of a Hall & Oates comeback. Minus the mustaches.

Player of the Day: Ryan Fitzpatrick, QB, St. Louis
After a blow to the head sidelined Rams backup Jamie Martin, the third-string rookie out of Harvard came in and threw for 310 yards and 3 TD, leading the Rams furious, on-side kick aided comeback in Houston.

Ryan Leaf Line of the Day: Jay Feely – 3 missed potential game-winning FGs
Like I said above, don’t read too much into the Giants loss. If Feely makes any of those kicks, the G-Men are 8-3 and in contention for home-field advantage in the NFC.
I’m just kidding; the Giants still suck. And can anyone seriously explain why Eli Manning threw 53 times, completing just 54% (which, for Eli, is a massively successful afternoon), while Tiki Barber only had 26 rushes (averaging 5.8 yards-per)?

Faulk Fantasy Player of Day: LaDainian Tomlinson – 184 rush yds, 29 rec yds, 3 TD – 40 fantasy points
He would have thrown for TD too, had Marcus Washington not made a phenomenal play on a perfect LDT pass to Drew Brees.

Boldin Fantasy Player of Day: Marcus Robinson – 32 rec yds, 3 TD – 21 fantasy points
I couldn’t bring myself to watch Primetime last night – too depressed – but I can only imaging the amount of “koo-koo-katchoo’ing” Chris Berman was doing during the Vikings highlights.

TV Note of the Week
For what seems like the 83rd consecutive week, ESPN’s NFL Countdown led with a Terrell Owens story, which seems a little bit like the NBC Nightly News opening their show with a story about that Baby Jessica chick who fell down the well.

Predictions
Began the week with a rough 0-2 Thanksgiving start, but rebounded with a 12-1 Sunday.

The Chaz Rankings: Top Two
1) Indianapolis Colts - I’m no fan of the 1972 Dolphins and their champagne-popping ways, but I think all the criticism of them in the media this week has been a little unnecessary. So these guys are having some fun and don’t want any other team to go undefeated… What’s so bad about that?
2) Pittsburgh Steelers - I mean, it’s not like they’re getting caught driving around with drug paraphernalia they claim isn’t theirs. (We need to find out what exactly was in his car. If it was a bowl or some other weed-smoking device, then I’ll be a bit disappointed. I’m holding out hope police hit the crack-pipe jackpot.)

Who I Like Monday Night and I Certainly Don’t Mean Michael Irvin
It's the last good Monday Night Football match-up of the season, and I don't have a clue as to what will happen. Will Pittsburgh, buoyed by the return of Ben Roethlisberger, smash the ball through the Colts overrated line? Or will Peyton Manning, visions of a perfect season dancing in his head, pick apart the Steelers vaunted secondary?
Pittsburgh held Cincinnati to 13 points earlier this season while Indy just gave up 37 to them last week. That stat seems like it should matter, but I don't think it does. The Colts take it in easy fashion, 27-20.

NFL Picks: Week 12 - "What I'm Thankful For" Edition

Atlanta at Detroit
What I’m Thankful For: Popeye’s
You can’t spell “Pop, this is tasty, delicious chicken” without P-O-P-E-Y-E-S.
Pick: Detroit

Denver at Dallas
What I’m Thankful For: Bill Raftery
I bet Raftery’s wife forcibly removes him from the kitchen on Thanksgiving morning after the eighth time he runs by the stove, yells “ONIONS!” and throws a handful of the pungent vegetable into her stuffing mix.
Pick: Dallas

Carolina at Buffalo
What I’m Thankful For: Angela (left) and Renee… But mainly Angela Pick: Carolina

St. Louis at Houston
What I’m Thankful For: Car horns
If I don’t let everyone know they’re a terrible driver, who will?
Pick: St. Louis

Baltimore at Cincinnati
What I’m Thankful For: John Feinstein’s new book, Next Man Up
It’s not often you can dissect the mind of a genius while they’re still alive and refining their brilliance, but that’s exactly what Feinstein’s new book provides; unfettered access into the wisdom of the world’s second smartest man, Brian Billick. If only Feinstein writes his next book about Bono, we’ll be all set.
Pick: Cincinnati

New England at Kansas City
What I’m Thankful For: The Die Hard trilogy
Yippee-Kayee, Mr. Falcon.
Pick: Kansas City

Cleveland at Minnesota
What I’m Thankful For: Billy Ocean’s “Loverboy” Video
The Trinidadian-born Ocean is best known for his hit “Caribbean Queen”, but Billy’s seminal recording was the 1985 release, “Loverboy,” which is enhanced by a remarkable video that is indescribable. I tried though. During my first viewing of the “Loverboy” video earlier this month, I wrote the following email to my college roommate Falkow:

holy s---. I’m watching this billy ocean video on vh1 classic where he’s dancing in some sort of inter-galactic bar that looks like it belongs in star wars, and there are these cheesy special effects and ridiculous looking dinosaur-looking creatures with weird hair and expressionless faces getting mad at each other and one of them is supposed to be a hot chick-dinosaur and they’re all vying for her, and then there’s one with a tv for a head and now they’re getting in a laser fight.. and billy ocean is dancing in a leather vest in the middle of it all... I’m not even doing it justice. now the lead dinosaur looking thing is taking the chick away and these little dudes are praying on the beach to a vision of billy ocean singing in a box hanging overhead... oh f---, this was amazing.

Pick: Minnesota

Chicago at Tampa Bay
What I’m Thankful For: This picture of my buddy Antzo Pick: Chicago

San Diego at Washington
What I’m Thankful For: That this game is on CBS
Which means that, for the second straight week, viewers in the Washington D.C. area won’t be subjected to the monstrosity that is every Ravens game.
Pick: San Diego

San Francisco at Tennessee
What I’m Thankful For: The Fugees comeback album, due out December 27
Even with Lauryn Hill in full diva mode (story halfway down), The Fugees album looks like a go, meaning that within in seven day stretch, Wyclef, Pras and Lauryn will release their first album in nearly a decade AND The Wedding Crashers comes out on DVD (January 3, 2006).
To think, scholars once believed the Age of Enlightenment took place in the 18th century!
Pick: Tennessee

Jacksonville at Arizona
What I’m Thankful For: College Basketball
It’s only November 23, but it feels like mid-March thanks to some fantastic pre-season tournaments, which have been highlighted by the stacked field at the Maui Invitational. Five of the eight teams in the tournament are ranked, and six of the participating schools have won National Championships in the past 17 years. And the lone Division I team in the field without a title on their resume, Gonzaga, has been a perennial top-10 team over the past five seasons.
They showed why last night after a thrilling 109-106 triple-overtime victory over Michigan State, in what was one of the best-played basketball games you’ll ever see.
Consider:
- There were 13 lead changes in the game’s final 7:13, including four in the final 1:13.
- Michigan State hit a buzzer-beating three to tie the game in regulation.
- Gonzaga had a chance to win in the first overtime, but three shots rimmed out as time expired.
- The first overtime ended in bizarre fashion with the shot clock buzzer sounding with three seconds left in the game, despite Gonzaga hitting the rim with one second left on the shot clock (four in the game). Most of the ten players on the floor thought either the game was over, or a shot clock violation had occurred, and stopped playing. Gonzaga forward J.P. Batista caught the rebound and made a half-hearted attempt at a game-winner as time expired, but missed.
- Gonzaga had a chance to win in double-overtime after officials put .9 seconds back on the clock following a Michigan State traveling violation, but the Bulldogs were unable to get a shot off.
- The teams were a combined 53-58 from the free-throw line and only missed once after halftime.
- Adam Morrison dropped 43 points, showing the assembled NBA scouts that Rudy Gay wasn’t the only NBA-ready player in Maui.
- Maurice Ager hit five three-pointers in the final seven minutes of regulation, including the game-tying shot at the buzzer.
- The headline on ESPN.com after the game was “Maui Wowie!” Somebody was apparently watching Half-Baked in Bristol last night.
Critics are always trying to bury college basketball, saying all the early NBA entries, parity at the top and the creation of the super-conferences has ruined the game. And while those things have certainly changed the sport, game’s like Gonzaga-Michigan State proved that college basketball played at its highest level is still as good as it gets.
Pick: Jacksonville

New York Giants at Seattle
What I’m Thankful For: Eli Manning’s completion percentage
Sometimes, late at night when I can’t sleep, my mind racing as I think of all the pressures and responsibilities of life, I snuggle up next to Eli’s 52% completion percentage and realize all is right with the world.
Pick: Seattle

Miami at Oakland
What I’m Thankful For: Adam Morrison’s mustache
Some think the Morrison-Larry Bird comparison is fitting because they are both 6-8 forwards with deadly range. Others think its apt because they both move well with the ball and earn rebounds because of good positioning. Still others believe Morrison and Bird are linked because of their lack of melanin. But I, for one, think the Morrison/Bird comparison is fitting because both have/had “barely-there” mustaches in college that make them look like that Mexican kid who sat next to you in 5th grade who had yet to discover a razor.
Pick: Oakland

Green Bay at Philadelphia
What I’m Thankful For: Allen Iverson’s “practice?” press conference
Reporter - "So you and coach Brown got caught up on Saturday about practice?"
Iverson - “"If I can't practice, I can't practice. It is as simple as that. It ain't about that at all. It's easy to sum it up if you're just talking about practice. We're sitting here, and I'm supposed to be the franchise player, and we're talking about practice. I mean listen, we're sitting here talking about practice, not a game, not a game, not a game, but we're talking about practice. Not the game that I go out there and die for and play every game last it's my last but we're talking about practice man. How silly is that? Now I know that I'm supposed to lead by example and all that but I'm not shoving that aside like it don't mean anything. I know it's important, I honestly do but we're talking about practice. We're talking about practice man. We're talking about practice. We're talking about practice. We're not talking about the game. We're talking about practice. When you come to the arena, and you see me play, you've seen me play right, you've seen me give everything I've got, but we're talking about practice right now.
Pick: Philadelphia

New Orleans at New York Jets
What I’m Thankful For: This contest in NJ is a planned road game for the Saints
But if the Jets win, Paul Tagliabue is going to award the W to the Giants.
Pick: New Orleans

Last Week: 12-4
Season: 111-49

The Chaz Rankings: Week 11

1) Indianapolis Colts (10-0, #1) - Rumor has it Nick Buoniconti and some of his 1972 Dolphins teammates have been in contact with Jeff Gillooly to see if he’d be willing to Kerrigan Peyton Manning before next week’s Steelers game.

2) Denver Broncos (8-2, #4) - Up 20-0 with under 3:00 remaining in his team’s game versus the Jets, Mike Shanahan opted to go for it on 4th down instead of kicking a field goal. The Broncos made it and scored a TD two plays later. Classless displays like that are the reason Mike Shanahan has never won a playoff game without John Elway, doesn’t give to charity, tramples his neighbors flowerbeds just for grins, ignores the homeless, kicks every third dog he sees, donates money to Kim Jong-Il, once gave a speech in which he advocated the adoption of corporal punishment for jaywalkers, unscrews the top of salt shakers so the next person using them will pour all the salt on their food and is just an overall deplorable human being. (FYI; The fact that Manderson’s third TD lost me my fantasy game had little to no bearing on the previous sentence.)

3) Pittsburgh Steelers (7-3, #2) - As per Maddox family tradition, Tommy Maddox will start the clan’s annual Thanksgiving football game as the permanent quarterback but will be benched by the third possession in favor of his half-blind and partially-crippled Uncle Stu.

4) San Diego Chargers (6-4, #8) - The Chargers bouncy ride throughout The Chaz Rankings (12, 12, 10, 5, 15, 3, 10, 5, 7, 8) reminds me of the time I was sitting next to Miss April 1997 on an airplane and we hit a patch of turbulence. Man, that was a great flight.

5) Cincinnati Bengals (7-3, #7) - We’re about five weeks away from Chad Johnson brokering peace between Israel and Palestine during his touchdown celebration.

6) Seattle Seahawks (8-2, #6) - Quick thoughts on the Red Sox/Marlins trade: Josh Beckett is a beast and I’ll be happy to see him in a Red Sox uniform. However, the young flamethrower moves from a pitcher’s park (Dolphins Stadium) to a hitter’s park (Fenway Park) and from the N.L. East to the A.L. East, where the addition of the DH and stacked lineups is sure to bump his ERA up a fair amount. Still, Beckett instantly becomes to the team’s ace, something they desperately needed. But at what price?
Sox fans have been drooling over Hanley Ramirez for years, he’s been the organization’s top-rated prospect for the past two seasons and every indication is that he’ll be a star at the major league level. All of this made last year’s signing of Edgar Renteria all the more curious (just one of many reasons) as Hanley became expendable at that point. In a perfect world, the Sox never would have signed Renteria and Ramirez would be the starting shortstop this season, but that’s not the way Boston has worked of late. Like the Yankees, they’d rather snatch someone else’s proven talent while trading away their own unproven commodities.
As for Mike Lowell, I’d bet good money he was on the juice and is now off, hence his 25 homer, 57 batting point and 222 point OPS drop-off in the last two years. Teams like the Red Sox can afford to waste $9 million on a Mike Lowell, but can’t necessarily give him a starting job. (Bill Mueller likely departs now (to the White Sox, perhaps) and Kevin Youkilis will take over duties at first.) Also, if the Sox can pay Mike Lowell $9 million to be terrible, then they can surely pay Manny Ramirez $17 million to be the best hitter in baseball.

7) Dallas Cowboys (7-3, #5) - Without doing any research whatsoever (so this is what it’s like to be Dan Shanoff), I’m going to venture a guess and say that the Dallas/Denver tilt is the best Thanksgiving day game of the young century.

8) Jacksonville Jaguars (7-3, #9) - Some fledgling shoe company needs to sign Jaguars WR Matt Jones to an endorsement deal and then start an ad campaign entitled “Who is Matt Jones?”

9) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (7-3, #12) - Speaking of commercials, which mastermind in the GM advertising department decided Suzy Kolber would make a good spokeswoman for Chevrolet’s new line of low-priced family sedans? Outside of sports fans, Kolber has a Q rating on par with the guy who hosted Talk Soup after Greg Kinnear but before the guy with the Rasheed Wallace-esque white patch in his hair. And among those that know who she is, only my buddy Phil thinks Kolber possesses any of the qualities that tend to appeal to the superficial male; unless you think women with voices as deep as Teddy Pendergrass are sexy, that is.

10) Chicago Bears (7-3, #15) - Will there be anything more depressing than the inevitable “Super Fans” sketch on Saturday Night Live featuring Horatio Sanz in the role once occupied by Chris Farley? I even wonder if Lorne Michaels still has George Wendt’s number.

11) Carolina Panthers (7-3, #3) - The Panthers might have lost at Soldier Field on Sunday, but had the game been played on emotional terrain instead of natural grass, Carolina probably would have pulled out the W.

12) Atlanta Falcons (6-4, #10) - How can anyone take Bono seriously when he makes comments like that? OK, I guess the real question is, how can anyone take Bono seriously when he does anything while wearing those wraparound tinted sunglasses, writes terrible music and is an insufferable prick. And Bono, don’t worry; when I listen to your songs, it feels like 100 years have passed, so that’s half the battle right there.

13) New England Patriots (6-4, #11) - Yesterday on PTI Ron Jaworski said this might be Bill Belichick’s best coaching job yet. I have the utmost respect for Jaws, but have to disagree with him on this topic. I think Belichick’s best coaching job was when the ridiculous tuck rule gave the Pats an undeserved playoff win on a silver (and black) platter, thus leading to their first Super Bowl (another great coaching job by Belichick; by watching Mike Martz single-handedly lose the game for the Rams, Belichick put himself among the all-time coaching greats.)

14) New York Giants (7-3, #13) - After watching their baffling play-calls over the past months, I’m starting to think that the Giants offensive coaching staff just uses the New York tabloids to prepare for games in lieu of game film. It’s like the coaches read the hype about Eli Manning, Jeremey Shockey and Brandon Jacobs and automatically believe it, without regard to what actually happens on the field. Why else would the G-Men call 48 pass plays in a week where Tiki Barber was averaging five yards per rush? And what else could possibly explain bringing in Brandon Jacobs for short yardage situations when the highly-touted, low-talent rookie has shown exactly zero aptitude for getting positive yardage without fumbling this season? In a crucial situation on Sunday, the Giants called Jacobs number three consecutive times while on the Eagles one-yard line, to predictable results. Jacobs was stuffed on first down, fumbled on second (but was incorrectly ruled down) and was once again stopped on third. Is there any doubt that Tiki Barber would have found the endzone on one of those three plays? Or that the magnificent Eli Manning would have thrown a touchdown pass while pulling a rabbit out of his hat and discovering the cure for cancer?

15) Kansas City Chiefs (6-4, #16) - Reverend Run once said, “Calvin Klein’s no friend of mine.” The same goes for anybody who calls this Larry Johnson “Grandmama”.

16) Oakland Raiders (4-6, #22) - Why did T.O. get fined and essentially cut for making a fairly obvious observation about Donovan McNabb, but Randy Moss got off scot free for doing the same thing to Norv Turner, but in a less verbal way?

17) Washington Redskins (5-5, #14) - They say a tie is like kissing your sister. If that’s the case, then losing to Norv Turner is like getting punched in the face by your sister, who happens to be Chyna.

18) Minnesota Vikings (5-5, #17) - Three straight wins after a 2-3 start? Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Well, if you’re thinking that the only way to celebrate such a comeback is by popping some Dramamine, calling up some hookers and heading out for a pleasure cruise, then guy, you are indeed thinking what I’m thinking.

19) Philadelphia Eagles (4-6, #19) - Is anybody else hoping EA Sports decides to put Eli Manning on the cover of Madden ‘07?

20) St. Louis Rams (4-6, #18) - The words “All-Pro Lito Sheppard” sound as natural as “President Mary Kate Olsen”.

21) Cleveland Browns (4-6, #24) - Charlie Frye? Wasn’t that the name of the guy from Party of Five? It probably wasn’t, but please don’t ruin this for me. I can get at least three weeks of quality jokes out of this.

22) Buffalo Bills (4-6, #20) - Doesn’t it seem like the Bills are always 4-6? (I just went back to check and, indeed, the Bills have been 4-6 in each of the last three seasons. Consistent mediocrity is the Bills emotional terrain, so they have that in common with Bono.)

23) Detroit Lions (4-6, #21) - GM announced yesterday they are cutting 30,000 hard-working and proficient employees. Ford, meanwhile, still has Matt Millen on their payroll.

24) Green Bay Packers (2-8, #25) - Sam Gado ran for 6 yards on 10 carries last night. Yet, I still my lost my fantasy game because the new Nigerian Nightmare caught a 30 yard lob pass from Brett Favre that was actually 29 yards, but was scored as a 30 yarder, thus giving me a 110-109 loss because of one freakin’ yard (and the fact that my buddy Horowitz trade Mike Anderson for Darrell Jackson). I’m fully against black-on-black crime, but Gado almost made me reconsider my stance. I stayed true to my nonviolent principles, though, when I heard Gado is a pretty good guy. And also because I’m not black.

25) Arizona Cardinals (3-7, #28) - From here on out, I promise I won’t bore you with any more tales of many recent fantasy woes.

26) Baltimore Ravens (3-7, #31) - OK, I lied: This week; Sam Gado’s non-30 yard catch killed me. Last week I mistakenly started my bye week pick-up Olindo Mare instead of Jeff Wilkens, and lost by the difference in their totals. The week before, I tied 66-66 and lost because my overtime player, Fred Taylor, didn’t start. So, in the past three weeks, I’ve lost by a grand total of four points. This would be unsettling in any circumstance, but since my slide from 7-1 to 7-4 has coincided with the Redskins collapse, I’m making sure to keep myself away from sharp objects and the third rail on the Metro.

27) Miami Dolphins (3-7, #23) - How does Miami have both Gus Frerotte and Sage Rosenfels on their roster? Who’s their emergency QB, John Friesz?

28) Tennessee Titans (2-8, #27) - If they didn’t keep appearing in the NFL Standings, I don’t know if I’d remember that the Titans still fielded a team.

29) San Francisco 49ers (2-8, #30) - As part of their ever-growing empire, Google has announced plans to develop a complex algorithm that will mathematically determine just how much Kevan Barlow sucks.

30) New York Jets (2-8, #26) - Eli Manning is ranked 5th in completion percentage among New York city quarterbacks, behind Chad Pennington, Vinny Testaverde, Brooks Bollinger and Craig Hormann.

31) New Orleans Saints (2-8, #29) - Man, how long ago does that Sports Illustrated cover seem?

32) Houston Texans (1-9, #32) - Anybody else thinking David Carr probably couldn’t have put up 42 against USC on Saturday night?

Monday Afternoon Cornerback

Sunday Superlatives
Game of the Day: Indianapolis 42 - Cincinnati 34
As I stumbled to bed at 2:30 on Saturday night, my plans for a quiet, early-to-sleep evening shot by USC and Fresno State's four-hour classic, I was convinced the Trojans and Bulldogs had just played the most entertaining football game in years and how it would be a long time before any other match-up could rival what had just taken place in Los Angeles. "A long time" apparently meant 14 hours because the Colts and Bengals shootout yesterday was one of the more exciting offensive contests in recent memory.
The two teams combined for 62 first half points, the second highest total in NFL history. The defenses clamped down in the second half though, after Indy regained their eight-point lead on a grueling 15-play drive that saw Peyton Manning hand-off to Edgerrin James ten times (including seven times in a row, at one point).
Cincinnati still has only beat one team with a winning record (Chicago), but this game put the NFL on notice that the Bengals are for real. Carson Palmer will be an All-Pro for the next ten seasons, Chad Johnson is the premiere receiver in football and the combination of Rudi Johnson and Chris Perry creates a formidable rushing attack. Once Marvin Lewis gets his defense going, Cincy will be a consistent Super Bowl threat.
The Colts now become just the fourth team since 1990 to start the year 10-0 but just like the 1990 Giants and 49ers, 1991 Redskins and 1998 Broncos, Indy won't finish the regular season undefeated.

Upset of the Day: Chicago 13 - Carolina 3
I picked this one, but was still surprised when it happened. The Bears defense dominated the game, picking off Jake Delhomme twice and sacking him a staggering eight times, which is particularly remarkable considering Delhomme is known as a QB who doesn't hold on to the ball too long.
With the win, Chicago becomes the first team in NFL history to be a threat to win homefield advantage while also being one to not make the playoffs at all. That's no insult to the Bears, but their finishing schedule is brutal (four road games (at Tampa, Pittsburgh, Green Bay and Minnesota) against just two at Soldier Field (Atlanta and Green Bay) while the Vikings is considerably easier. If the Vikes get a W tonight, they'll have a good shot at making the playoffs.

Player of the Day: Cadillac Williams, RB, Tampa Bay
Cadillac's rushing yardage in his previous four games: 82
Cadillac's rushing yardage yesterday in Atlanta: 116
The one-time MVP candidate (after three games, mind you) was written-off by nearly everyone following a four-game stretch where he averaged under two-yards per rush, but in Tampa's biggest game of the season, the Caddy dieseled his way to 116 yards and a touchdown, giving the Bucs the lead in the tough NFC South.

Ryan Leaf Line of the Day: Miami Quarterbacks - 9/28, 67 yards, 2 INT
That's what you get when the top two spots of your quarterback depth chart are taken by cast-offs from the Washington Redskins.

Faulk Fantasy Player of Day: Peyton Manning - 365 yards, 3 TD, 1 INT - 30 fantasy points
I once again revert to wisdom dropped by ESPN.com "fantasy expert" Eric Karrabell just nine days ago: “Is [Peyton Manning] even a better [fantasy] play than his brother? (Um, no.)”

Boldin Fantasy Player of Day: Larry Johnson - 211 rush yds, 2 TD - 33 fantasy points
Before the season started, I had a debate with my buddy Phil about the merits of drafting a player's back-up for fantasy purposes. My contention was that Priest Holmes wouldn't make it through the season, so picking Larry Johnson made sense. Phil disagreed. This bodes well for any prospective clients the recent law school grad might encounter in the future.

Fantasy Bust of Day: Willis McGahee - 39 rush yds - 3 fantasy points
Is there anything better than college basketball coaches wearing Hawaiian shirts during the Maui Invitational? Tom Izzo looks like a tourist from one of those American Express commercials where the guy loses his traveler's checks. Twenty bucks says Gary Williams goes sans Hawaiian shirt, by the way.

Predictions
Finished 12-3 on the NFL's first 15-game Sunday since September. Nailed the Chicago, Tampa and Arizona upsets, but continue to be seduced by those damn Redskins, who are so done by the way. Oh, they might beat San Diego this Sunday just to tease everyone, but they're done like The Simpsons have been for seven years. More on that tomorrow.

The Chaz Rankings: Top Two
1) Indianapolis Colts - They're losing to Jacksonville in two weeks. Mark it down.
2) Pittsburgh Steelers - Big Ben wasn't there, so they get a pass... For now.

Who I Like Monday Night and I Certainly Don’t Mean The NFL Execs Who Scheduled This Game
Because my idiot friend Horo traded Mike Anderson for Darrell Jackson a few weeks ago, I'm in dire need of the Packers RB injury bug to hit Sam Gado... Early. Anderson scored 30 points yesterday while playing against me, while Horo's acquisition, Jackson, didn't play, thus bringing his point total on 'Tommy's Boys" to a whopping ZERO since Horo acquired him. I dropped 109 freakin' points yet still need Gado to be held to two or under, meaning I'm screwed. I had half-a-mind to drive to Green Bay this afternoon, steal a field pass from Michael Irvin by luring him to a room with a trail of crack and then swiping the credential from him while he searched his outfit's 49 pockets for a lighter so I could position myself next to Mike Tice during the game and yell "sweep the leg!" repeatedly at Fred Smoot everytime Brett Favre called a running play.
But because gas prices are still too high, I didn't do this, so now I probably won't watch the game and instead revel in the glory of today's college basketball lineup (Maryland/Gonzaga, Arizona/Kansas, West Virginia/Texas, Kentucky/Iowa and Arkansas/Connecticut are all on the bill this evening).
Picks: Gonzaga, Kansas, Texas, Kentucky, Connecticut and Green Bay, 35-24.

NFL Picks: Week 11

Carolina at Chicago
Between Olin Kreutz and Steve Smith, Panthers running back Stephen Davis might want to keep his thoughts on who might be a disparaging-term-for-a-homosexual-that-rhymes-with-bag to himself.
Pick: Chicago

Detroit at Dallas
This is the first time the Lions and Cowboys have met in the week before their respective Thanksgiving Day home games.
OK, I’m totally making that up, but you would have believed me if I hadn’t said anything. I’m so totally drunk with power right now.
Pick: Dallas

New Orleans at New England
This is one of four alliterative matchups this weekend, something that is sure to cause jealousy among Houston, Washington, Buffalo, Indianapolis, Kansas City, Green Bay, Jacksonville and Oakland; the only eight NFL teams who would be unable to participate in such an alphabetic jubilee. Such syllabary news must make Al Davis long for the days when Oorang still fielded a team.
Pick: New England


Pittsburgh at Baltimore
The fact that Brian Billick has a Super Bowl ring and Bill Cowher does not weighs heavily on the mustachioed Pittsburgh coach. In an attempt to put this startling fact behind him, Cowher visited a therapist who recommended he channel Alfred Hitchcock to ask the master of suspense how he copes with the knowledge that he never won an Oscar while Marisa Tomei has one sitting on her mantle.
Pick: Pittsburgh

Tampa Bay at Atlanta
In a recent edition of USA Today, the newspaper rated the best football cities in the NFL. Tampa finished #17, while Atlanta ranked 33rd, just behind Oorang.
Pick: Tampa Bay

Oakland at Washington
I’ve never been jealous of a pro athlete. Until now. (By the way, today's Washington Post the the greatest front-page headline in the paper's illustrious history. In a 48-point font above-the-fold head, one of the nation's most prestigous newspapers asked the question on all our minds, "Who Shot Cam'ron?"
Pick: Washington

Miami at Cleveland
This is the first week since September to feature a full-slate of NFL games which can only mean one thing: Curt Menefee’s vacation is over.
Pick: Miami

Jacksonville at Tennessee
Last night’s loss to Florida will be just one of many for Wake Forest this season. Every flaw Wake was thought to have this off-season was on display in The Garden yesterday, from poor ball handling skills to lack of consistent rebounding to uneven jump shooting. The Deacs have had great success in the past three seasons in spite of the minimal coaching ability of Skip Prosser, but this year, with no point guard and no front-court help for Eric Williams, Skip’s non-existent in-game acumen will not just hurt Wake in the postseason, but the regular season as well.
It’s early, yes. But so far, all signs point to a huge struggle this year for the Deacs.
Pick: Jacksonville

Arizona at St. Louis
Rams officials considered honoring ex-St. Louis QB Kurt Warner with a plaque before the game, but the plan was nixed for fear of Warner fumbling the exchange.
Pick: Arizona

Philadelphia at New York Giants
Since when did a 4-5 record in the NFL become an insurmountable roadblock on the way to the playoffs? With the way the Eagles have seemingly given up on their season and simply waved the white flag, despite being just two games out of the lead in the NFC East, I’m forced to believe that Donovan McNabb has some French ancestors or something.
Pick: New York Giants

Seattle at San Francisco
I really want to pick Philly in that game, by the way, but Mike McMahon seems like the kind of guy who doesn’t even put himself in the game when he’s playing Madden, so I’m certainly not going to hitch my wagon to him.
Pick: Seattle

Buffalo at San Diego
After forwarding him the Portis/Best Buy link, my college roommate and Best Buy Life Partner, Greg, responded: “if one of us ever gets insanely rich, he has to give this to other as a birthday gift, and then we can have it filmed and put on dvd for the memories.”
I wrote back, “that is the greatest idea since – no. That is the greatest idea ever.”
Pick: San Diego

New York Jets at Denver
This new error-free Jake Plummer is great and all, but anyone who will be surprised by the inevitable Plummer meltdown is just being naïve. Remember last year when everyone said Howard Dean couldn’t behave long enough to snag the Democratic Presidential nomination, then he proved everyone wrong for two months and all the newsweeklies and bloggers started to write about how Dean could actually win and how he really always had it in him, which was immediately followed by this?
Just remember the parallels when Jake has his 5 INT game in the playoffs.
Pick: Denver

Indianapolis at Cincinnati
Part of me wants to take Cincy, but part of me also kind of likes Kelly Clarkson. OK, all of me likes Kelly Clarkson.
Pick: Indianapolis

Kansas City at Houston
In order to win back the confidence of his team after last week’s putrid three-point effort and rumors of retirement following the game-winning two-point conversion call two weeks back, Chiefs coach Dick Vermeil recently played his remix of the 7th Floor Crew’s song for his players, which included the 65-year old coach dropping lines like, “If my first’s name a way of life, then my middle should be ‘Balla’/I mack on ho’s, win big games and have the n----‘s yellin’ ‘Holla!’
Pick: Kansas City

Last Week: 9-5
Season: 99-45

Turns Out My Ho Didn't Know

Early this morning a story with the headline, "Demeaning Recording Credited to Miami Athletes" went across the AP Wire. Armed with little information, the AP story began:

A 2-year-old profanity-laced recording that denigrates women and minorities surfaced on the Web on Tuesday, putting the University of Miami's athletic department on the defensive about its image.
Miami's carefully cultivated image as a school well-past the days that earned it the reputation as a program lacking institutional control may have taken a blow when the rap song, which sources told ESPN.com includes the voices of several football players, surfaced on the Internet.
A group calling itself the 7th Floor Crew -- the name reportedly comes from the seventh floor of the Mahoney Residential College, campus housing at Miami -- made a recording referencing multiple acts of group sex, derogatory terms for women and minorities and dozens of curse words that lasts approximately 9 minutes. School officials say the song was recorded two years ago, but that seems to offer little solace.

After the initial story went out, Miami officials quickly distanced itself from the recording (as if people were wondering whether that was Donna Shalala moaning in the background during the second verse), but numerous columns sprang up on the Internet proclaiming Miami had once again become Thug U.
This, of course, is nonsense. Miami never stopped being Thug U, they just did a better job of covering it up of late.

Some more thoughts on the subject:
- The 7th Floor Crew song isn't exactly something you'd play for Grandma at Thanksgiving dinner, but it's no more offensive to women or minorities than any other hip-hip song on the charts right now. Sure, it's lewd, but was this two-year unreleased song really worthy of national attention and an apology from the University of Miami?
Frankly, I'm shocked - SHOCKED - that Division I-A football players dream of being rappers, enjoy having sex, refer to women as "bitches" and "ho's" and have an overinflated sense of self-worth. I suppose next we'll find out that universities are bending admissions rules to let some of these same players in. The horror!

- How many of these self-righteous critics who are up in arms about this song do you think have actually heard the recording in question? Five percent? Ten, max?
Granted, if this were any other school, the song wouldn't have been the top story on ESPN.com all day, but Miami brought this upon themselves after 20 years of "carefully cultivating" the image as a rebellious football school with a lawless atmosphere. The day Jimmy Johnson had his players dress up in fatigues before a game was the day things stopped being surprising in Coral Gables. (Because of this image, many people don't realize Miami is a well-respected private school with only 15,000 students.)
I'm also enjoying the notion that Miami has abandoned the win-at-all-cost mentality and this new blemish somehow harms the school's newfound dignity. Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Miami recently admit all-world linebacker Willie Williams after they learned he had been arrested 11 times during high school?
University President Donna Shalala is a blathering hypocrite (she showed this during Miami's courtship with the ACC), so I'm sort of happy this non-controversy has turned controversial.
This song was nothing more than some football players having a good time trying to live out their hip-hop dreams by laying down some mediocre raps on a surprisingly good track with a catchy-ass hook. Get over it people.

Wednesday Thoughts

Baseball Completes Award Season, 44 Days After Season Ends
MLB's regular season ended so long ago, I had forgotten Derrek Lee wasn't Asian.
Baseball has an unusual way on announcing their end-of-season awards, naming the winners on a day-by-day basis in the first and second weeks of November, and even though the process seems a bit overwrought, it does manage to generate conversation and excitement.
Baseball writers are notoriously moronic when it comes to giving out year-end awards and this season was no different.
Gold Gloves have always been meaningless, as voters seem to cast their ballot only for players who have won before (hence Omar Vizquel getting the nod this season). The award hit rock bottom this year though when Derek Jeter somehow won his second award despite being, at best, the fourth-best defensive shortstop in the A.L.
I'll give the writers some credit; they did manage not to mess up the Manager of the Year Awards; they correctly honored Ozzie Guillen and Bobby Cox.
Nobody cares about Rookie of the Year anymore, but Huston Street and Ryan Howard were two solid choices.
Chris Carpenter was a fine selection for the N.L. Cy Young Award, even though he was third on my ballot behind Roger Clemens and Dontrelle Willis. As usual, the writers were seduced by win totals, which is why Bartolo Colon nabbed his first Cy Young despite having only the 8th best ERA in the American League. Johan Santana or Mariano Rivera deserved the award.
It's tough to argue with the selection of Albert Pujols as N.L. MVP. He has put up MVP numbers before, but this was his first win thanks to Barry Bonds and his fondness for being a despicable cheater. Even so, Derrek Lee had better numbers, but the fact that he played on a worse team than Pujols lost him the award, and even ridiculously put him behind Andruw Jones.
My thoughts on the A. Rod/Big Papi race have been made quite clear, but here's one more, courtesy of Sons of Sam Horn:

In the 40% of the season that consisted of close games, ARod hit .243 / .340 / .465 with 38 RBI, while Ortiz hit .321 / .417 / .699 with 62 RBI. In the 12.3% percent of the season that consisted of blowout wins, ARod hit .549 / .622 / 1.171 with 46 RBI and Ortiz hit .272 / .344 / .642 with 26 RBI.

But hey, at least baseball got Comeback Player of the Year right.

Sports Illustrated Gives Hopes To Those With Souls, Puts Duke On Cover Of College Basketball Preview
On the cover of their college basketball preview, Sports Illustrated asks, "Can Anyone Stop Duke?"
It's a good question (and, actually, a good looking cover; a shot of the Dukies getting ready to run a windsprint en masse, presumably because the Judy Garland double-feature at the Student Union was starting in three minutes), but it has an easy answer: Yes.
Maybe nobody will be able to stop them this year, but a question like, "can anyone stop ____" implies that nobody has stopped the question subject in a while. Yet, recently, Duke has been stopped more times than Cat Stevens at an airport.
2002: #1 seed, loses to Indiana in Sweet 16
2003: #3 seed, loses to Kansas in Sweet 16
2004: #1 seed, loses to Connecticut in Final Four
2005: #1 seed, loses to Michigan State in Sweet 16
Four seasons, three #1 seeds, three Sweet 16 exits, one Final Four trip, no Championship game appearances. Sounds like the Blue Devils have been stopped plenty since April of 2001.
Duke is the premiere college basketball program in the nation and Mike Krzyzewski is the greatest coach in the history of the sport. However, Duke hasn't been getting it done over the past four seasons, so SI shouldn't have asked if anybody can stop them, but rather, "Can Duke Get It Done?"

The Chaz Rankings: Week 10: NFC East Edition

1) Indianapolis Colts (9-0, Last Week: #1) - They aren’t nearly as dominant as Indy, but last night’s shocking come-from-behind victory puts the Cowboys firmly atop the NFC East.

2) Pittsburgh Steelers (7-2, #2) - The Giants suffered the worst loss by any NFC East team this season on Sunday, dropping a home game against the lowly Vikings on a day where Tiki Barber had more yards from scrimmage than the entire Minnesota team.

3) Carolina Panthers (7-2, #3) - Washington got hosed in Tampa and dropped to 5-4 on the season. A win would have put the Redskins in prime contention for the playoffs, but now they’re one game back of three teams in a fight for the Wild Card.

4) Denver Broncos (7-2, #4) - Donovan McNabb killed Philly’s season with his pass to Roy Williams last night.

5) Dallas Cowboys (6-3, #5) - Al Michaels and John Madden joked about how everytime ABC shows a “streak graphic” like the one last night that said the Eagles had a 36-game winning streak when up by ten or more points (longest in the NFL), it ends up getting snapped about 30 minutes later. And it’s true. They showed a similar one during the ‘Skins-Cowboys game in September which said Bill Parcells was 77-0 when his team was up by 13 or more points.

6) Seattle Seahawks (7-2, #12) - So I suppose in next week’s Packers game, John Madden will force ABC researchers to come up with every possible bad Brett Favre stat in an attempt to twist the fates in favor of Madden’s man-crush.

7) Cincinnati Bengals (7-2, #6) - Reason #3,519 People Actually Think Eli Manning Is A Good NFL Quarterback: They have to listen to idiots like Brian Baldinger. During Sunday’s game, Manning overthrew Plaxico by a good three feet, putting the ball right in the hands of Vikings safety Corey Chavous, who then dropped it. Baldinger explained the play by saying, “sometimes when Eli thinks he can’t get the ball in there, he lets it sail.” Right into the defenders hands, apparently.

8) San Diego Chargers (5-4, #7) - Manning was 23/48 with 4 interceptions on Sunday, while Tiki Barber gained 95 yards on the ground on 23 carries. I’ve harped on the Giants play-calling before, but now it’s getting ridiculous. New York was never down by more than seven points in this game, so there was no reason to heave the ball 48 teams with a subpar quarterback while Tiki Barber was running so well. It’s almost like the Giants coaches have started to believe the press on Manning and think he’s actually a good QB.

9) Jacksonville Jaguars (6-3, #14) - Part of me was almost hoping the Giants won that game, just so I could have listened to the guys on ESPN talk about how amazing Eli Manning was for leading the Giants comeback while totally ignoring the fact that he went 23/48 with 4 picks against one of the worst pass defenses in the NFC.

10) Atlanta Falcons (6-3, #9) - Just so we’re clear, Manning, the best quarterback in the NFL, now has a lower passer rating than David Carr and Kurt Warner.

11) New England Patriots (5-4, #13) - On ESPN.com last week, some schmuck on the fantasy Web site actually wrote the following sentence: “Is [Peyton Manning] even a better [fantasy] play than his brother? (Um, no.)” And this guy gets paid to write about fantasy football? Holy crap, what’s next, a 2,000 word essay extolling the virtues of starting Nate Burleson?

12) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (6-3, #19) - A partial list of quarterbacks with a higher completion percentage than Eli “51%” Manning): Kurt Warner, Anthony Wright, David Carr, Trent Dilfer, Joey Harrington, Josh McCown, Kyle Orton, Aaron Brooks, Gus Frerotte.

13) New York Giants (6-3, #8) - When Peter King is questioning Eli Manning, you know things have gotten bad.

14) Washington Redskins (5-4, #10) - Do you think Eli will go to Best Buy today to get the new Carrie Underwood CD? I’m leaning towards “yes”.

15) Chicago Bears (6-3, #17) - Three quick Redskins thoughts:

16) Kansas City Chiefs (5-4, #11) - 1) Between getting the shaft in Tampa and the Giants getting awarded an extra home game, Joe Gibbs and the ‘Skins will have to overcome a lot to get in the playoffs.

17) Minnesota Vikings (4-5, #20) - 2) At what point will Gregg Williams realize the Redskins are unable to get any pressure on the quarterback no matter how many players they bring on a blitz? The putrid officiating would have been a moot point if Williams had backed off on the blitzes and dropped into a cover-2 in the 4th quarter. (Although, that assumes Pierson Prioleau could make a play, which, I suppose, is doubtful.)

18) St. Louis Rams (4-5, #16) - 3) The Redskins will beat the Raiders by two touchdowns this weekend at FedEx Field. If Gibbs had them ready to play after a lackadaisical effort against the Giants, just think how fired up they’ll be after having the game stolen from them in Tampa.

19) Philadelphia Eagles (4-5, #15) - Four reasons Donovan McNabb should be getting ripped in the media today:

20) Buffalo Bills (4-5, #21) - 1) Given the circumstances, the interception to Roy Williams was the worst pass thrown in the NFL this season. That’s entirely on McNabb. He led Roy Williams to the ball by staring at the spot from the instant he dropped back from center, and then put it right in his hands with his intended receiver five yards downfield. It was a terrible throw and cost the Eagles their season. My old buddy Zac Cooper just e-mailed me and said he heard Andy Reid say Reggie Brown ran the correct route on the play in question, meaning the pick was all on McNabb.

21) Detroit Lions (4-5, #24) - 2) (Get your e-mail ready Philly fans) Donovan exaggerated his injury after the pick and should have been in the game on the final drive.

22) Oakland Raiders (3-6, #18) - Let’s get this straight: Donovan can run for a short touchdown and perform a Michael Jackson-esque high leg kick during his celebration dance with a sports hernia (a kick that would surely have to strain the muscles allegedly affected by his “injury”), but after throwing a game-losing interception and getting knocked to the ground with a shove to his shoulderpads, he’s all of a sudden limping around?

23) Miami Dolphins (3-6, #22) - Every time I watch Donovan wince when he knows the camera is on him, I am in disbelief he didn’t go to college at Duke.

24) Cleveland Browns (3-6, #23) - 3) During the final drive with Mike McMahon in the game, McNabb was standing on the sidelines watching.

25) Green Bay Packers (2-7, #27) - Do you think any other quarterback in the league would have taken themselves out of the game if they were able to stand up on the sidelines following their injury? Guys like Brett Favre, Steve McNair and Eli Manning would have to be either on a stretcher, unconscious or dead to come out of a game, particularly with Mike Freakin’ McMahon as the next option. Not Donovan though. Between this and the Super Bowl, McNabb is coming across about as tough as Richard Simmons.

26) New York Jets (2-7, #30) - Re: Manning’s toughness: Once at Mississippi he was listed as questionable because he broke a nail earlier in the week.

27) Tennessee Titans (2-7, #25) - 4) Donovan doesn’t want T.O. on his team, and that’s perfectly understandable. But he better be prepared to be held responsible for the consequences of his decision (namely, guys like Reggie Brown dropping easy catches late in the game that would have put the Eagles in field goal territory).

28) Arizona Cardinals (2-7, #28) - Final NFC East Predictions:

29) New Orleans Saints (2-7, #31) - Dallas Cowboys (10-6)

30) San Francisco 49ers (2-7, #29) - Washington Redskins (9-7)

31) Baltimore Ravens (2-7, #26) - New York Giants (9-7)

32) Houston Texans (1-8, #32) - Philadelphia Eagles (8-8)

Now I Know What Julius Hodge Felt Like

Just a few thoughts from a wild NFL Sunday: Walt Harris can't cover Walt Disney, Eli Manning is even worse than I thought, Mike Nolan is even dumber than I thought, the Giants play-calling is atrocious, Seattle has essentially clinched the NFC West and Mike Alstott was clearly down before the goal line.
The Redskins defense did so much wrong this evening, so it's tough to get too mad about this, but the fact remains Alstott's elbow was down before he put the ball over the goal line. (If you're thinking I'm just bitter, you're right... But so am I. Look at it this way: There is indisputable visual evidence Alstott's elbow hits the ground before the goal line. Nobody is contending this point. With that being the case, the ball can't be over the goal line unless Alstott was holding it behind his elbow, which he wasn't.)
Redskins fans can bitch about the refs (and they were terrible today), but the team can't since they let the game come down to a bad call on a two-point conversion. Pinning this one of the refs is easy (and justified), but if Washington had made any number of defensive plays, the horrendous officiating (three no-calls on pass interferences, an absurd ruling on a Joey Galloway catch, the bogus off-sides penalty on the blocked extra point (watch the center move the ball if you don't believe me. Also, think about this: What are the odds that the two guys split wide and coming in for the block would break at the exact same time) wouldn't have mattered.
Offensively the 'Skins looked solid, save for some terrible pass blocking. Clinton Portis ran with ease, gaining 144 yards against the #1 ranked run defense in the NFL. But the abysmal play of Gregg Williams' defense defied belief. Eight-man blitzes brought no pressure upon Simms, constant mismatches at the line saw 'Skins linebackers in man coverage on receivers, terrible secondary play made Joey Galloway look like Jerry Rice in his prime and - wait - if you didn't see the game I don't think you'll understand how bad the play was in the secondary. I'll need a new thesaurus to accurately describe the dreadful effort Harris, Shawn Springs, Pierson Prioleau, Ryan Clark, Ade Jimoh and others gave yesterday. Seriously, Mike Rumph would have been an improvement back there.
OK, now I'm getting all agitated again. Serenity now... I need to go to bed before I pop a vein in my forehead. Serenity now... There's a good chance I won't be posting anything tomorrow out of a combination of depression and rage. Serenity now... It'll all be OK. Serenity now... It's just a game. Serenity now... There's always next week. Seren- oh, screw it. Alstott was fucking down.

Update (5:45 p.m.): In his weekly press conference Joe Gibbs mentioned how the officials missed those two calls yesterday on back-to-back plays that should have clinched a victory for the Redskins. Upon further review, Tampa's long snapper did indeed move the ball, thus inducing the off-sides on the blocked extra-point. And Mike Alstott's elbow was down a good six-inches before the goal line. It's clear as day. On the NFL Network just now, Jim "Playoffs?" Mora lambasted the officials and wondered whether the NFL would make a formal announcement that the referees missed both calls.
As for me, I will make a formal announcement apologizing for using the f-word above. My mom, who reads this blog most days, made sure to call and let me know she didn't think I needed to resort to such vulgarities (she also dislikes my use of the word "bitch" when describing Eli Manning. I responded, "I agree, it's wrong... It gives bitches nationwide a bad name.") That's the first time I ever printed a word you can't say on television on this site since I do this for the kids. But there was no other word that could have possibly been used up there. I tried "freakin", "f*******", "damn" and even attempted it with no modifier at all. Sadly nothing conveyed the frustration I felt then, and now. The 'Skins played horrendous defense, I know. And they could have made a first down with time running down and ended the game. But they didn't. And it's unfair that they had to go to Tampa, thinking they were up against two entities: The Bucs and their fans, only to discover that there were actually three: The Bucs, their fans and the refs.
OK, I'm spent. A quick take on tonight's game: I'm on record with my belief that Dallas is the best team in the NFC East. My thoughts on the negative impact of Philly's pass-happy offense is also well-documented. And, I'm reluctant to pick against logic after I went with the Pats last week even though I thought a Colts blowout was more likely.
Still, I'm taking Philly to win, 20-16. They might be reeling, but strange things happen in intradivisional games, and winning on the road in the NFC East is always a difficult task. I have this feeling something is going to happen tonight - maybe an injury, maybe a freak play, maybe a controversial call, maybe a fight, maybe a Will Smith-cameo - I don't know. Either way, it should be a good one.

Chris's Sports Blog 2005-2006 NCAA Basketball Preview

ACC Predictions

1) Duke
For the sixth time in school history, Duke is ranked #1 in the AP preseason poll. Only once in those six seasons, however, has Duke ended up winning the National Championship. Can the Blue Devils reverse history and put Coach K alongside John Wooden and Adolph Rupp as the only coaches with four NCAA titles to their credit?
We’ll get to that below, but as far as the ACC goes, Duke winning the regular season title is as sure a thing as the inevitable emotional SportsCenter feature in February on J.J. Redick’s tough time dealing with mean ACC fans complete with touching music, soft lighting, excessive backne and a few tears. Jeez, man up, for crap’s sake.
The only knock on Duke is their depth, which was a problem last season too. Many say that Coach K’s stellar recruiting class should stem this tide, but those people tend to forget that for every Jason Williams and Luol Deng Duke recruits, there are a whole bunch of Shavlik Randolph’s and Sean Dockery’s mixed in too. (Lest you forget, Sean Dockery was one of the highest-rated guards in his recruiting class; Coach K chose him over Jarrett Jack.) At least one of the Blue Devils vaunted class (Greg Paulas, Josh McRoberts, Martynas Pocius, Jamal Boykin and Eric Boateng) figures to be an unqualified bust, and a few others won’t immediately contribute as freshman. With the aforementioned Dockery and Lee Melchionni as the only seasoned players coming off the bench, Duke could have problems late in the season. (By the way, have you noticed how white Duke’s team is this year? If they can put it all together, the Blue Devils might have a real shot of knocking off Texas Western in the 1966 NCAA Championship.)
Of course, Duke complaining about depth is like a rich man fretting over which summer home to visit on vacation; it’s important to keep perspective on these things.
Duke has the best coach in the country leading the best talent in the country. I’m fond of saying, “I kid cause I care.” In Duke’s case, “I kid because I hate… And because they’re a bunch of stuck-up punks who get overinflated grades and have an unhealthy sense of self-worth.” But, headed into the season, they are the best team in the country. And no amount of hatred can possibly change that. (Don’t worry, I’ve tried.)

2) Maryland
Have you ever been to a bar where there’s a really big, drunk guy trying to pick fights with everyone? You and your friends try to ignore him and have a good time, but he’s being so disruptive that you can’t take your eyes off him? There’s always a nervous energy in a place like that, almost like everyone’s afraid to do or say anything for fear of setting the drunk guy off. Inevitably that guy takes it a notch too far and gets escorted out by four bouncers, after which everyone in the bar breathes a sigh of relief, exchanges stories about their respective run-ins with him and resumes their good time.
In case you were wondering where I was going with that; John Gilchrist was the drunk guy and this year the Maryland team is breathing a sigh of relief now that he’s gone.
Don’t underestimate the importance of a cancer like Gilchrist bolting College Park for the pros (only to go hilariously, and predictably, undrafted). With him around, Maryland was unable to get into a groove and develop any chemistry last season, which resulted in the Terps first absence from the NCAA Tournament since 1993. I imagine the team would walk on pins and needles during practice for fear of upsetting Gilchrist. Gary Williams had to handle the entire team differently because of his point guard too.
Some people scoff at the suggestion of “team chemistry”. They should try practicing on a team where the point guard and coach despise each other and where said point guard has one foot out the door in hopes of a big NBA payday. It’s crippling to a team, particularly a young one like Maryland.
This year, the Terps will be underdogs, a role Gary Williams relishes. He’ll no doubt be pointing out that the media believes Wake Forest and N.C. State, each missing key components of last year’s Tournament teams, will finish ahead of them. And last year’s NIT berth will certainly be brought up every day in practice.
For the Terps, 2005-06 is all about addition by subtraction. Except for experience, the Terps have gained little from last season, other than Gilchrist’s absence. That alone makes the team a viable Tournament candidate. The return of defensive stalwart D.J. Strawberry puts them in the upper-echelon of the ACC. And another year of maturity and seasoning for Ekene Ibekwe and James Gist should give the Terps a formidable frontcourt which could vault them ahead of media darling Boston College.
The jury is still out on new point guard Sterling Ledbetter, but he can’t be any worse than Gilchrist was last season. Maryland showed flashes of brilliance in 2005, beating Duke twice. But their inconsistency killed them (ie, three losses to Clemson). The Terps have something to prove this year, particularly seniors Nik Caner-Medley, Chris McCray and Travis Garrison, who arrived in College Park the year after the Terps won their first National Championship, yet have failed to win more than two games in a single NCAA Tournament since.

3) Boston College
This is an ACC preview, not a Big East one.

4) Wake Forest
Scotty, I’m sad to say, I think our Deacs are a bit overrated this season. The loss of Chris Paul will get all the attention, but Wake will arguably miss the contributions of Taron Downey, Jamaal Levy and Vytas Danelius just as much. Downey was the most underrated player in the ACC last year and one of the most valuable sixth-men in the nation. Levy and Danelius battled inconsistency during their Wake careers, but they both gave Wake an inside presence and took some of the pressure off the easily-flustered Eric Williams.
Without them, the maddeningly inconsistent Trent Strickland, along with Kyle Visser, Chris Ellis and the slew of Skip Prosser recruits will have to play major minutes. Word out of Winston is that Strickland and Visser have made vast improvements to their game in the off-season and, if true, that will be a big boon to the Deacs. Of course, every year we heard that Prosser has made a commitment to defense in the off-season then once play begins Wake is playing D like the Mavericks.
In his four years at the helm, Prosser has been a top-notch recruiter (Chris Paul, Justin Gray and Eric Williams all hail from North Carolina, and to steal the trio of McDonald’s All-Americans away from UNC was considered a recruiting coup) and manages to get things done in the regular season (during his tenure Prosser’s Deacs have the second best ACC record behind Duke), but come Tournament time, Wake tenses up. They’ve only made it out of the first weekend of the NCAA’s once under Prosser, and last year gave up 111 points in double-overtime to West Virginia when many predicted the Deacs to make the Final Four.
Prosser teams are known for their lack of defensive skills and that figures to be only worse this season. Chris Paul was one of the best on-ball defenders in the NCAA last season, and his pressure forced a lot of turnovers inside. Without Paul harassing a ball-handler (or jamming him in the goods), opposing teams figure to work the ball inside more. Eric Williams managed to stay out of foul trouble most of last year; whether that was because of Paul’s presence has yet to be determined. He needs to stay on the floor this year if the Deacs are going to have a change to win. Trent Strickland is an abysmal defender, and with him on the court, Wake’s defense figures to be even more of a liability this season.
Maybe I’m underrating the Deacs a bit this season just to lower my expectations and future disappointment, but with their poor defense and Prosser calling the shots, I’m skeptical of the preseason accolades Wake is getting.
Two things I’m not worried about: 1) Justin Gray running the point. Last year the ACC had three point guards taken among the first 22 players in the NBA Draft. This year the cupboard is bare. Starting at point guard this season, the contenders either have underclassman (Duke’s Greg Paulas and UNC’s Quentin Thomas), inexperienced transfers (Maryland’s Leadbetter and State’s Tony Bethel) or Louis Hinnant. Needless to say, there is a big drop-off in talent. Gray played the “1” a bit as a freshman when Taron Downey got hurt and was adequate, but not spectacular. That’s all he needs to be this season. Nobody expects him to be Chris Paul. As long as Gray can get the ball into Eric Williams and move well enough without the rock to create his own shot, he should be fine. Gray should be OK handling the ball, but guys like Strickland and Williams are notoriously turnover-happy. With three freshman likely to see major minutes, turnovers could be a big issue.
2) The schedule. Under Prosser Wake has always played a notoriously tough non-conference schedule (remember their trip to Champaign last year where they entered the game as #1 and left with their tail between their legs?), This year is no different, but with many of the games in Winston-Salem, it shouldn’t be as bad.
Wake faces Wisconsin, DePaul, Princeton and Charlotte at Lawrence Joel. Their toughest non-conference road game is at Richmond (a dangerous lose-lose Christmas-week game), but the Deacs should head to Madison Square Garden next week (if they can knock off a feisty George Mason team tonight) next week in the Coaches vs. Cancer Classic to face a tough lineup which could include Texas Tech, Florida and Syracuse.
The Deacs should hover around the Top 25 all season and make the NCAA’s as a mid-range seed.

5) Miami
See preview for Boston College.

6) N.C. State
How is Ilian Evtimov still in college? Just like Julius Hodge before him, I swear Evtimov was playing at State when Jim Valvano was coaching. Maybe Herb Sendek is some sort of super-genius that manages to get six years of eligibility out of each player. I half-expected to see Marcus Melvin on the Wolfpack roster too.
Before Hodge came to Raleigh, State hadn’t made an NCAA Tournament since 1991. With him, they went to four straight and gave the perennially hot-seated Herb Sendek some much-needed job security. With Hodge being thin in the NBA, the Pack need to prove they can win without him.
Their roster is fairly impressive; Evtimov and Engin Atsur are two tough-nosed, defensive-minded Europeans, Georgetown transfer Tony Bethel is a solid scoring guard (with suspect passing abilities), Andrew Brackman had his non-gay coming-out party in the ACC Tournament and fellow sophomore Gavin Grant seemed poised for a breakthrough before his run-in with immigration law. (Good to know Customs Enforcement is cracking down on basketball-playing Jamaicans who have lived in the country since age 9. Combined with the arrest of public-menace Tommy Chong a few years back, I feel much safer as an American.)

7) North Carolina
Two facts:
1) Roy Williams is a great coach.
2) UNC had a fantastic recruiting class.
These two factors should keep UNC afloat in the ACC and will keep them competitive in whatever ridiculously-named new division they’re in. Tyler Hansbrough is one of the top recruits in the country and Marcus Ginyard has played well, despite a broken wrist.

8) Virginia Tech
Seriously, don’t even get me started.

9) Georgia Tech
Tech’s five probable starters averaged a combined 17.3 points per game last season, four fewer than J.J. Redick.
(Since they’re a contender, I should probably write a little about B.C. even if they aren’t a real ACC team: The Eagles got off to a fast start last season, staying undefeated until early February. But they faltered down the stretch, finishing 5-5, including a second-round loss to 12th seeded Wisconsin-Milwaukee in the NCAA Tournament.
The media picked BC second in the ACC, based mainly on their two talented forwards Craig Smith and Jared Dudley. Smith instantly becomes one of the best players in the ACC and Dudley isn’t far behind.
I’m not high on the Eagles for two reasons. First, unlike Miami and Virginia Tech, BC won’t surprise anyone in their first ACC season. Teams like Duke, Wake and Maryland will be gunning for Boston College to try to prove true ACC supremacy.
Second, don’t underestimate the road trips BC will have to make to ACC country. The closest ACC school to Boston is 385 miles away. For the Eagles trip to Miami they’ll have to fly over 1,200 miles. That might not seem like much, but consider that North Carolina’s Big Four take buses to play each other and can leave in the morning for road games. Even Maryland, previously the ACC team furthest north, only has a 45-minute flight to Tobacco Road. Of course, the long road trip is also true for teams traveling to Boston, but teams only have to do that once. BC will be traveling long distances all season and by March, it could take its toll.
Sophomore forward Sean Williams is the x-factor. He should return to Boston for the spring semester after getting kicked out of school for the summer and fall following his arrest on drug and alcohol charges. With a rap sheet like that, maybe Williams should try out for the Virginia Tech football team.

10) Clemson
Vernon Hamilton and Shawan Robinson actually form a pretty solid backcourt for Oliver Purnell’s team, but it won’t be enough to get the Tigers into the upper-half of the ACC.

11) Virginia
DePaul’s Dave Leitao takes over for Pete Gillen and brings a defensive-minded approach that is sorely needed in Charlottesville. Cavs fans hope Leitao also has no tolerance for the knucklehead players that Gillen always seemed to recruit (I wonder what Keith Jenifer is doing today – I just Googled him; he apparently plays for Murray State).
Sean Singletary had a solid freshman season and should show vast improvement as a sophomore. J.R. Reynolds and Gary Forbes, both of whom averaged more than nine points last year, return as juniors.
It will likely take Leitao a season or three to turn UVA into a Tournament team (can you believe the Hoos haven’t been to a Tourney since 2001), but he was the right hire and should turn this team around sooner rather than later.

12) Florida State
FSU is 1-23 in ACC road games over the past three seasons. Ouch.

All-ACC First-Team
G – Justin Gray, Wake Forest
G – J.J. Redick, Duke
F – Guillermo Diaz, Miami
F – Craig Smith, Boston College
C – Shelden Williams, Duke

All-ACC Second-Team
G – Robert Hite, Miami
G – Chris McCray, Maryland
F – Josh McRoberts, Duke
F – Jared Dudley, Boston College
C – Eric Williams, Wake Forest

All-ACC Third Team
G – Sean Singletary, Virginia
G – Zabian Dowdell, Virginia Tech
F – Nik Caner-Medley, Maryland
F – Sean Williams, Boston College
C – Andrew Brackman, N.C. State

ACC Player of the Year
Guillermo Diaz, Miami

ACC Rookie of the Year
Josh McRoberts, Duke

ACC Coach of the Year
Gary Williams, Maryland

Chris’s Sports Blog Preseason Top 25

1) Duke
2) Villanova
3) Michigan State
4) Gonzaga
5) Kentucky
Duke has the most talent in the country and anyone who says otherwise is just being contrary for the sake of being contrary. This doesn’t mean they’ll win the National Championship, but they should be #1, or close to it, up until Tournament time.
Curtis Sumpter’s injury hurts Villanova, but it’s important to remember Sumpter didn’t play against UNC in the NCAA Tournament when the Wildcats were a blown call away from knocking off the eventual champs. If Jason Fraser can stay healthy (a big if), Sumpter’s absence will be minimized.
Allan Ray and Randy Foye form the best backcourt in the country, and with the talent level at guard way down after peaking last season, that will be crucial come Tournament time.
Tom Izzo’s Michigan State team is the class of the Big Ten and always plays well in March.

6) Texas
7) Louisville
8) Connecticut
9) Indiana
10) Oklahoma
The two most heralded Big 12 teams this season, Texas and Oklahoma, are lower on my rankings than most places for two reasons: Rick Barnes and Kelvin Sampson.
Louisville, in their first season in the revamped Big East, should contend for the conference, while Indiana should surprise some people in a relatively weak Big Ten the year before their much-anticipated 2006 recruiting class arrives in Bloomington.
Connecticut will battle with Villanova for the Big East title behind Rudy Gay and Rashad Anderson, assuming no more Huskies decide to help themselves to any more computer equipment.

11) Georgetown
12) Maryland
13) Boston College
14) Texas Tech
15) George Washington
This five-some has some local flavor to it as Georgetown, Maryland and GW are all within a 10-mile stretch of each other. The last time all three of those teams made the NCAA Tournament in the same year was 1994. They should do it again in 2005.
Georgetown super-sophomore Jeff Green, taking a break as Larry David’s agent on Curb Your Enthusiasm, is getting far less publicity than fellow soph Rudy Gay, yet Green and Gay shared Big East Rookie of the Year honors last season. Gay is the real deal (and will likely be a top-three pick next June), but, for some reason, Green gets slept on more than Tara Reid. Along with Brandon Bowman, Green is part of a formidable Hoya frontcourt that should dominate the new Big East bottom-feeders. John Thompson III had a young, immature team last season (as evidenced by their five-game losing streak after a hot start), but with the three starting sophomores all with a year each under their belt starting alongside two seniors, JT3 is on his way to living up to his father’s name.
Texas Tech lost its best player in Ronald Ross, but this is the first year Bob Knight has all his own players (the Red Raiders have no scholarship seniors on their roster) and with Dean Smith just 25 victories away, Knight’s team should surprise some people.
Pops Mensah-Bonsu opted not to enter the NBA Draft, which should help GW get to its second-straight Tournament.

16) West Virginia
17) Nevada
18) Arizona
19) Iowa
20) Wisconsin
Kevin Pittsnogle and Mike Gansey: Two names which will haunt Wake Forest fans forever. Let’s move on.

21) Wake Forest
22) Old Dominion
23) Memphis
24) UCLA
25) Kansas
ODU is my sleeper team this season; right now I’m planning on picking the Monarchs to win their first round NCAA Tournament game and will hold true to that right until the brackets come out and they draw a tricky team like Michigan State. I’ll then wimp out and not pick them and they, of course, will win anyway. This happened with Vermont last year. Damn hippies.
I’m never sold on Memphis, so #23 seems about right. Last year they fell off the face of the earth in November and December but made a nice little comeback in conference play. Seeing as how Conference USA now includes schools such as Southern Methodist, Marshall, Rice and, presumably, Lincoln Technical Institute, expect the same to happen this year.
Syracuse is a team I didn’t want to rank at all (without Hakim Warrick I’m just not seeing it happening for them), but then I noticed I had inadvertently ranked Boston College twice, so I had to do some maneuvering and ended up putting the Orangemen (yes, Orangemen – Orange isn’t a mascot, it’s a color… and a fruit) in the top 25. Eh, forget about it. I crossed them off and replaced ‘em with UCLA.
Usually I’ll throw a random mid-major team in at #25 on the off-chance that if they upset someone in the Tournament, I can talk about how smart I am, but it was just too weird not having Kansas in these rankings. Plus I think my Godfather (a KU alum) would disown me if I didn’t give the Jayhawks some love.

Final Four Predictions
Duke
Villanova
Michigan State
Texas Tech

2005-2006 NCAA Men's Basketball Champion
Villanova Wildcats

NFL Picks: Week 10

Baltimore at Jacksonville
Pick: Jacksonville

Houston at Indianapolis
Pick: Indianapolis

Arizona at Detroit
Pick: Detroit

San Francisco at Chicago
Pick: Chicago

Kansas City at Buffalo
Pick: Kansas City

New England at Miami
Pick: New England

Minnesota at New York Giants
Pick: Minnesota

Denver at Oakland
Pick: Oakland

Green Bay at Atlanta
Pick: Atlanta

New York Jets at Carolina
Pick: Carolina

St. Louis at Seattle
Pick: St. Louis

Washington at Tampa Bay
Pick: Washington

Cleveland at Pittsburgh
Pick: Pittsburgh

Last Week: 10-4
Season: 90-40

Thursday Thoughts

- Can somebody explain to me how undefeated Alabama fell behind a one-loss Miami team in the AP poll this week? Usually such ridiculous placements are to be found only in the Coach’s Poll, but in the AP? What, in the name of Corky Simpson, is going on here?
I know all the arguments: Alabama hasn’t scored much in a four-game stretch against weak opponents, Miami just went into Blacksburg and beat #3 Virginia Tech, the SEC is down this year, the ACC is up, etc. But all these facts undercut the central fact that ALABAMA IS UNDEFEATED AND MIAMI IS NOT.
How is there even a debate here? The SEC might be down, but it’s not like it’s the Sun Belt Conference or anything.
Look at the Crimson Tide’s resume: Huge wins over Steve Spurrier’s South Carolina Gamecocks and then #5 Florida, plus a narrow victory over a feisty Tennessee team that might be having a down year, but is always a tough opponent. Granted, this Alabama team isn’t going to make anyone forget about Bear Bryant, but Miami’s 7-1 season isn’t exactly drawing comparisons to any great Hurricanes season in recent memory either.
Consider: Before Virginia Tech (we’ll get to them in a moment), The U only had only one win against a ranked opponent, a 36-30 victory over then #20 Clemson (now 5-4 on the season and not receiving any votes in either poll). The other victories for Miami? Get ready for an impressive list: Colorado, South Florida, Duke, Temple and North Carolina. Not exactly a murderer’s row of competition.
The Hurricanes lost to Florida State on Labor Day in an ugly 10-7 affair that was just, well… Man, it was ugly. That FSU team has lost two of its last four, both to unranked opponents (UVA and N.C. State), a run that hardly makes Miami’s loss look any more impressive.
So why did Miami leapfrog Alabama in the polls? Because of their blowout win over Virginia Tech this weekend. Granted, Virginia Tech was #3 in the polls at the time, but it is November, after all. And the only people that lose in November more than the Hokies are Democratic Presidential candidates.
This is what Virginia Tech does. They beat up on the competition in September and October when there is no pressure, then choke like the dogs they are in November when they get near the top of the polls. It’s like clockwork. The only amazing thing is that Virginia Tech lost to a good team like Miami instead of to a beat squad such as UNC, which has been the Hokies M.O over the past decade.
For just playing the role of the victor in the Hokie’s annual demise, one-loss Miami moves ahead of undefeated Alabama? It’s kooky talk, I say.
(Note: I’m not saying Alabama is going to win out or that they’re even better than Miami. Alabama could very well lose to both LSU and Auburn in the coming weeks. I’m just saying that anyone who puts Miami ahead of Alabama today is an idiot.)

- The incompetence of Bud Selig never ceases to amaze me. One day before the free agent signing period begins in Major League Baseball, Selig still hasn’t sold the Washington Nationals, leaving the team rudderless and in disarray headed into the months of the Hot Stove League.
Today’s Washington Post reported that baseball will once again fail to meet a self-imposed deadline to sell the team. This time baseball won’t announce an owner before the fall owner’s meetings, something they also didn’t do before the League Championship Series, All-Star game, close of spring training and opening of spring training.
This foot-shuffling, while not at all surprising coming from a commissioner that actually flirted with moving the Expos to Norfolk before eventually capitulating to common sense and bringing them to the Nation’s Capital, leaves the whole organization with a sense of uncertainty. Coaches don’t know whether they’ll have jobs next season, so are left to decide whether to take another gig (usually in the minors) and stop living the dream of coaching in the big leagues, or waiting it out just to get canned when (or if) baseball ever sells the team and the new owner wants to clean house. Free agents, eager to play in a new city in front of baseball-starved fans, don’t know if the team they sign to play for today will be anything like the team that takes the field next April. Everyone with jobs in the front office will likely be replaced when a new owner is announced, which must make it impossible to do their jobs properly. It’s one thing to have your head on the chopping block, it’s another to have no clue when it’s going to get chopped.
The Washington D.C. area proved itself a worthy host to a major league baseball team last season despite baseball’s best efforts to kill support in the District. A majority of games weren’t on TV, yet the Nats broke all Expos attendance records in their first year at RFK. That stadium, while historic, was a run-down heap of concrete with uncomfortable seats, inadequate concession stands and virtually no amenities found in all major league ballparks, yet the fans still came and eagerly anticipated the majestic new ballpark on the Anacostia waterfront that still hasn’t even been designed.
The longer Selig waits to sell the team, the more fans will turn away from the Nats. The team held the city’s interest until September thanks to a gutsy run at the Wild Card, but if they should get out of the gate slowly next season, the combination of no TV, a crappy stadium, no player movement in the off-season and no owner could cripple the team’s fanbase.
Selig and his cronies need to sell the team now. They owe it to the fans of the Washington Nationals. And unless they want even more headaches from the D.C. City Council, they better not sell it to an outsider like Jeff Smulyan, but that’s a story for another day.

- Say it ain't so, Priest.

- In what is easily the greatest comment left in the history of Chris’s Sports Blog, Scotty S from the CLT (below right) wrote:

let me just say i love that youre rational and dont say idiot salisbury talk like steve smith is the mvp..i like my coach a lot too, but i get sick of...yeah, my man can juke better than anyone in the league, is fast and small, doesn't make him the m.v...heck, if rae rae was in his positon this season, who knows, he'd probably be close to that, but naw, he was in that trunk, and he's not even all comptoncompton, ssmith woowoo..i'm just sayin i don't really see ricky proehl catching those 60 yard bombs from many teams, so maybe were stuggling seeing how smith gets about half the balls. but main man proehl from the deacs is the man, and you're right about orton lighting up the deacs, he was awesome that game..is that white reciever in the league? schsomething?...oh long rant here, CHASE, im DYING for some acc bball talk, deacs first game tomorrow, im in the house but want your opinions on...terps,they cant come to the hyphen this year..two years in a row no 1and1 wfu/unc?that is horrible, im honestly upset, b/c seriously, how many of the last 5 games agains them have we lost? 1? and they will stink this year. ..don't know what to do with all my spite..and i heard something like it would be until 2009 till we play gatech in foosball.what up? all i gotta say is can a brotha get a little acc preview, or if heck, do a ncaa, i do need to read up on it.

Scotty is right, particularly about Rae Rae not being all "comptoncompton, ssmith woowoo", it is high time for Chris’s Sports Blog 2005-06 ACC & NCAA College Basketball Preview. I was going to try to get that out today but unfortunately am not going to have enough time to do it right. So, here’s the schedule:
Tomorrow AM: NFL Picks: Week 10 (Abridged)
Tomorrow early PM: 2005-2006 ACC & NCAA College Basketball Preview complete with ACC picks, preseason Top 25, All-American teams, a lot of Duke bashing and Final Four predictions (complete with a lot of Duke bashing).
See you then.

NFL Mid-Season Report

First-Half MVP: Carson Palmer, QB, Cincinnati
Peyton Manning can always be considered for this award, even with his numbers taking a hit as the Colts play a more ball-control offense in 2005. But it’s his AFC-counterpart Palmer who is the MVP of the first-half of the NFL season.
Take Palmer away from Cincy and the team would likely be under .500. With a mediocre defense and uninspiring rushing attack, Palmer has put the Bengals on his back and has made the transformation from project to All-Pro in just one season. (Remember, after Sunday, Palmer will have started just six more games in his career than everyone’s favorite QB Eli Manning.)
Palmer leads the league in TD passes and is second in yards and QB rating. His play opens up holes for Rudi Johnson and has turned Chad Johnson, who first developed into a Pro Bowler while catching balls from Jon Kitna, into a full-fledged superstar.
I’ve ripped on the Bengals all season, mainly because their best win came against the Bears. But Palmer is the truth and will finally help Cincinnati shed its image as a football wasteland.
Apologies to: Peyton Manning, Tiki Barber, Jake Plummer, Angela and Renee

First-Half Offensive Player of the Year: LaDainian Tomlinson, RB, San Diego
Anytime you have seven more rushing TDs than Priest Holmes (13), the same amount of receiving TDs as Muhsin Muhammad (2) and one more passing TD than Kurt Warner (3), all in the same season, you have my vote for Offensive Player of the Year.
Apologies to: Shaun Alexander, Edgerrin James, Steve Smith, Santana Moss

First-Half Defensive Player of the Year: Dwight Freeney, DE, Indianapolis
I really tried to figure out somebody to give this award to, but Freeney has become so dominant that other guys on his line are now on the verge of becoming All-Pros simply because other teams are doubling Freeney. And that’s the ultimate sign of respect.
Apologies to: Robert Mathis, Brian Urlacher

Coach of the Year: John Fox, Carolina
The most underrated coach in the league quietly has his team on a five-game winning streak. Julius Peppers is having an off-year and Kris Jenkins is on injured reserve (I know, I was shocked to discover that a team other than the Patriots suffered from injuries too), but Fox has his defense playing at a high-level once again. The Panthers, after a 1-2 start, are the team to beat in the NFC.
Apologies to: Joe Gibbs, Tom Coughlin

Comeback Player of the Year: Mark Brunell, QB, Washington
Steve Smith has been awesome coming back from a broken leg, but Mark Brunell has shocked everybody by returning to his old form after a miserable 2004.
It’s clear now that Brunell was playing injured last year (a 35-year old doesn’t lose his game and then all of a sudden rediscover it eight months later), but unlike Donovan McNabb, chose not to talk about it at every opportunity. Brunell is the reason the Redskins are 5-3 and very much in the hunt for the NFC East title.
Apologies to: Steve Smith, Drew Bledsoe

First-Half Least Valuable Player: Champ Bailey, CB, Denver
Can we please finally stop referring to Champ as “one of the premiere cover corners in the NFL?” He is not even the premiere cover corner on his team, let alone the entire freakin’ league. You would think getting shown-up repeatedly on national television would be enough to change everyone’s opinion of him, but Champ still gets love from idiots in the TV booth. You think it was a surprise that Philly stopped scoring two weeks ago when Champ was taken out of the game and replaced by former Maryland star Dominique Foxworth?
Jamal Lewis has been atrocious, but any back would have a tough go at it running with nine defenders in the box.
Apologies, Well, Not Really Apologies, To: Jamal Lewis, The Entire Texans Offensive Line, Brett Favre

Most Surprising Team: Chicago Bears
The Bears were a chic playoff pick before Rex Grossman went down, but after his season-ending (?) injury in training camp, many got off the Bears bandwagon (myself included, even though I’ve been high on Kyle Orton ever since I saw him torch Wake Forest a few years back – not that torching Wake is all that difficult, but I liked him nonetheless).
But, in a weak NFC North, the Bears have established themselves as the team to beat thanks to a solid Orton and one of the best defenses in the league.
Apologies to: New York Giants, Washington Redskins, Cincinnati Bengals

Most Disappointing Team: Minnesota Vikings
If you had said back in August that a season-ending injury to Daunte Culpepper would actually be a good thing for the Vikings, people would have said you were crazy. Brad Johnson taking over for an abysmal Culpepper could be just that though; the spark the Vikings need to get back in the NFC North race.
Apologies to: Baltimore Ravens, Arizona Cardinals (not really), Green Bay Packers

Most Ridiculous Oft-Repeated Statement: The NFL Doesn’t Want the Pats to Win
In addition to being the only team to ever suffer injuries, being a target for every other NFL franchise because of their Super Bowl success, recovering from a bout of The Plague, getting their cable and internet shut off for four hours because of a billing mix-up and only having one-ply toilet paper in the locker rooms, the New England Patriots are apparently the victims of a vast NFL conspiracy intended to end their reign as champions.
How is this nefarious plot being carried out, you ask? Well, to listen to Pats-slurpers, the NFL has, gasp, given them a tough schedule. The nerve!
Of course, there is a simple little problem with this theory: THE NFL SCHEDULE IS PRE-DETERMINED YEARS IN ADVANCE!
After the league switched to four divisions per conference, scheduling became very simple. A team plays six home-and-home games within their division, has four games against teams from a specified division in their conference, four games against a specified division in the other conference and two games against the other two teams in their own conference that finished in the same position within their division the previous year (ie, a second-place team would play the other two second-place teams.) Meaning, 14 of an NFL team’s 16 games are pre-determined years in advance, and that includes location.
So how, exactly, did the NFL screw the Patriots by giving them a tough schedule, as everyone has been claiming? And don’t say, “well, the Pats schedule was front-loaded.” So what? That just means the back-end of their schedule should be easier than a Carolina Panthers cheerleader. (Rimshot!)
The real conspiracy theorists should be asking how the Colts/Pats game each year has been in Foxborough.

Most Underreported Story of the Decade: Paul Tagliabue Moving the Saints/Giants Game to New York
Believe me, when the Giants are tied for the NFC East lead at 10-6 with the Cowboys and Redskins, that extra home game is going to the source of a ton of controversy which will come, unfortunately, about three months too late.
The Saints should have refused to play in New York after Tagliabue callously and arbitrarily decided to move the team’s first post-Katrina home game to Giants Stadium. To give the Giants an extra home game is so remarkably unfair to every team in the NFC it borders on insanity. That nobody started criticizing this decision until the Thursday before the game (Michael Wilbon began the media outcry on PTI that day, one week after I went nuts about it in this space) is disgraceful, but not as disgraceful as the self-serving criticism about the move that took place after the game on ESPN and HBO’s Inside the NFL. Way to take a stand guys. Next they’ll be expressing their support for women’s suffrage.
The NFL moved the game so they could have a primetime match-up in New York and so they could give the Giants every extra advantage to make the playoffs, plain and simple, because a playoff team in New York means that much more advertising revenue that goes into the league’s coffers.
This was the low-point of Paul Tagliabue’s tenure as commissioner and my hope is that it make a difference in the playoff race and Tagliabue will be held accountable for handing the Giants a berth into the postseason.

Most Annoying TV Trend: Mocking Fantasy Football
Yes, I understand that all you announcers and ex-players think fantasy football is somehow beneath you. And I too can’t stand when people think that a player being good in fantasy football means he’s good at real football (or the opposite; when a bad fantasy player like Ben Roethlisberger is incorrectly thought to be equally subpar on the field). I also realize that fantasy football isn’t necessarily the coolest thing to do; it’s not like I go up to women in bars and try to impress them by bragging about my 7-2 record in my “No More Klinedinst” league. (Instead I just tell them I’m a volunteer firefighter. After that, by the way, it’s like shooting fish in a very, very small barrel.)
But I also don’t really need to listen to Joe Buck make condescending comments about fantasy when giving the stats, or put up with Daryl Johnston smarmily talking about how his fantasy fantasy team is doing with a patronizing look on his face.
Guys, probably 80% of the people watching your games are in fantasy football leagues. To make fun of them is to insult your core audience. It’s like if William Shatner went to a Star Trek convention and gave a speech declaring everyone in the room to be huge losers.
If you don’t want to talk about fantasy, fine. Just show the damn stats more often during the game and you won’t have to make a point of giving them at halftime. But don’t rip something that people enjoy and care about.

Most Overrated Web Site: FootballOutsiders.Com
Don’t get me wrong, the guys at FootballOutsiders do great work and I enjoy reading their stuff. But baseball-type sabermetrics simply don’t work while analyzing the NFL. The reason that stat-analysis can be so successful in baseball is because that sport is based on one-on-one matchups over a 162-game season. Over that many games, things have a way of evening out and statistics can be used to predict, fairly accurately, what will happen to a team or player.
On July 8th of this year, the Washington Nationals were in first-place in the N.L. East and had an amazing 24-8 record in one-run games. Everyone in the stathead community knew at that point that the Nats success in one-run games couldn’t hold up, and they were right. Washington finished 6-23 in one-run games the rest of the season (30-31 overall).
It’s the same thing with hitters.
In football, there are only 16 games so those types of things don’t even out. I always write on this site that most NFL team’s seasons hinge on four or five plays. Take the Redskins, for instance. In a four-game stretch they had a 70-yard game-winning TD pass with under three minutes to go in the game, won a game in overtime after the opposing kicker missed a chance to win on a makeable field goal in regulation, were unable to convert a game-tying two-point conversion with under one minute to go and had a game-tying TD pass bounce off the fingertips of a receiver. If two of those plays go differently, the Redskins could have been 0-4 in that stretch. If another two of those plays go differently, the Redskins could have been 4-0 in that stretch. But that’s football.
No amount of game analysis will tell you how good an NFL team is. Yards accumulated in garbage time are meaningless, as is a 70-yard drive that ends in a turnover on the goaline. These things can’t be accounted for with statistics. Leave the sabermetrics to baseball. Football is to be figured out on the field.

Playoff Teams
NFC: Carolina (South), Seattle (West), Dallas (East), Chicago (North), Atlanta (Wild Card), New York (Wild Card)
AFC: Indianapolis (South), Pittsburgh (North), Denver (West), New England (East), Cincinnati (Wild Card), San Diego (Wild Card)

The Chaz Rankings: Week 9: One-Sentence Prediction Edition

1) Indianapolis Colts (8-0, Last Week: #1)
The Colts will make it to 12-0 before suffering their first loss to the Jaguars in Jacksonville on December 12.

2) Pittsburgh Steelers (6-2, #2)
In a Forrest Gump like situation, Tommy Maddox, unable to find someone willing to sit next to him on the Steelers next team flight and will instead cry silently in the bathroom until Troy Polamalu realizes clams casino were a bad idea.

3) Carolina Panthers (6-2, #4)
At the Panthers next home game at Bank of America Stadium, instead of women waiting in shorter lines for the men’s bathroom, the men will be waiting in the longer women’s lines on the off-chance they’ll see a repeat of the hottest news story since… No, this is the hottest news story ever.

4) Denver Broncos (6-2, #3)
Inspired by the unrest in France, Jake Plummer’s mustache will begin breaking curfew and looking up recipes for Molotov cocktails on-line, in anticipation of that fateful night when he is going to make a break from Plummer’s upper-lip in hopes of reaching a mustache’s only safe-haven; a high-school girls softball coaching convention in Tijuana.

5) Dallas Cowboys (5-3, #7)
Angered by Terrell Owens seizing the spotlight, Keyshawn Johnson will attempt to infuriate coach Bill Parcells by befriending a dolphin, the mortal enemy of all Big Tuna’s everywhere.

6) Cincinnati Bengals (7-2, #8)
In an attempt to get some tougher opponents on the Bengals schedule, Marvin Lewis will schedule a pre-season game next year with Appalachian State.

7) San Diego Chargers (5-4, #5)
Despite having a quarterback with better numbers across the board than Eli Manning, Marty Schottenheimer will softly cry himself to sleep every night dreaming of how he could have utilized a sissy, daddy’s boy with a 51% completion percentage.

8) New York Giants (6-2, #9)
Said sissy daddy’s boy will have a tearful press conference in the next 16 months when the New York tabloids finally realize he’s not that good and begin printing headlines like, “E-Li E-Li Nooooo!” or “E is for Execrable!”

9) Atlanta Falcons (6-2, #6)
After getting 15 tickets while playing the “Pass Through the Hoops” game at an Atlanta area ESPN Zone, Michael Vick will berate the assembled media contingent for ever suggesting he wasn’t a great pocket passer.
10) Washington Redskins (5-3, #12)
Paul Tagliabue will fine Clinton Portis for his mismatched socks and also make C.P. return them to the Wicked Witch of the East.

11) Kansas City Chiefs (5-3, #11)
A cashier at McDonalds will pre-assume Dick Vermeil wants fries and would like to supersize that during the Chiefs’ coach next visit to the venerable fast food restaurant.

12) Seattle Seahawks (6-2, #15)
Shaun Alexander will rush for 250 yards and 4 TD in his next two games: 210 and 4 TD against the 49ers and 40 and 0 TD in the team’s meaningful game against the Rams.

13) New England Patriots (4-4, #14)
By the end of the year, Bob Kraft will demand that Bill Belichick lose with dignity and grace, something he didn’t do last night, or else Kraft will give his coach dozens of shirts with different colored collars and make him wear them instead of those ugly sweatshirts Belichick calls “sideline fashion”.

14) Jacksonville Jaguars (5-3, #10)
Fred Taylor will somehow break both his arms while rehabbing his ankle injury.

15) Philadelphia Eagles (4-4, #13)
Donovan McNabb will go out of his way to throw an excessive amount of balls to Reggie Brown, thus opening himself up to the possibility of a Favre-esque TD/INT ratio in the second half of the season.

16) St. Louis Rams (4-4, #16)
Mike Martz will attempt to sneak onto the Rams sideline using a fake mustache and assumed name, but will be discovered almost instantaneously when he is overheard suggesting St. Louis should go for two on the opening kickoff.

17) Chicago Bears (5-3, #17)
The Bears will travel to Minnesota on New Year’s Day for a showdown with the Vikings that will determine the NFC North champion.

18) Oakland Raiders (3-5, #19)
Al Davis will make an intense push to acquire Terrell Owens, a thought that will have Norv Turner calling Jake Plummer’s mustache to see if he knows a place to stay in Tijuana.

19) Tampa Buy Buccaneers (5-3, #18)
The Bucs, once 4-0, will not finish above .500.

20) Minnesota Vikings (3-5, #27)
The next time, Fred Smoot is just going to buy his own damn boat.

21) Buffalo Bills (3-5, #20)
Finally convinced no NFL quarterback can succeed with a name like J.P., J.P. Losman will experiment with a few different names over the season’s last eight games; burning through Jonathan Losman, J. Paul Losman, John Paul Losman, J. Pizzle Losman, JoPa Losman, Jonathan P. Losman, Craphonso Losman, Johnny Losman, Yao Losman and Jonapaul Losman before finally settling on Jawarski Pollock.

22) Miami Dolphins (3-5, #22)
Just 279 yards away from his goal, Ricky Williams will once again retire once he gets exactly 420 yards on the season.

23) Cleveland Browns (3-5, #32)
Trent Dilfer will win a $1,000 bet with Braylon Edwards after the rookie Michigan WR will insist that Dilfer does not have a Super Bowl ring.

24) Detroit Lions (3-5, #21)
Buoyed by years of blaming other people for his own mistakes, Matt Millen will be fired from his position as Lions GM and immediately accept the top job at FEMA.

25) Tennessee Titans (2-7, #26)
For the seventh consecutive week, Jeff Fisher will instruct his secretary to tell Eddie George that Fisher is in a meeting and will get back to him later.

26) Baltimore Ravens (2-6, #23)
Brian Billick will run his fingers through his thinning hair.

27) Green Bay Packers (1-7, #30)
If Brett Favre was on the Colts, they’d be 47-0 right now.

28) Arizona Cardinals (2-6, #24)
I will be unable to finish these rankings because my thoughts keep drifting back to this.

29) San Francisco 49ers (2-6, #28)
It will be discovered that the only reason Mike Nolan wanted to wear a suit on the sidelines was so he wouldn’t have to change for that inevitable press conference when he’ll be canned like a hunk of spam.

30) New York Jets (2-6, #25)
The Knicks will finish with more wins than the Jets… Barely.

31) New Orleans Saints (2-7, #29)
Aaron Brooks will attempt a fake-spike play at the end of the 1st half of the Saints next game and will be ripped for it, even though Brett Favre and Donovan McNabb did the same thing over the past two weeks and received nary a criticism.

32) Houston Texans (1-7, #31)
David Carr will get sacked while waiting in line for coffee at Starbucks this Thursday.

Monday Afternoon Cornerback

The Philadelphia Eagles made their deal with the devil the day they welcomed Terrell Owens to the City of Brotherly Love with open arms. On that afternoon, Philly sold their soul for a Super Bowl dream. It almost paid off.
The Eagles were one quarter away from winning the franchise's first Vince Lombardi trophy this past January thanks, in large part, to the heroics of an injured Owens. That Sunday in February could have been the greatest day in Eagles history, but it instead became the breaking point in the already rocky marriage of T.O. and the Eagles.
A month later, when Andy Reid stubbornly refused to even discuss reworking Owens' contract, that marriage was, for all intents and purposes, over. Still, the team clung to the hope that their All-Pro wideout would behave, so they put up with months of veiled (and not-so-veiled) shots at Donovan McNabb, contentious interviews on ESPN and driveway workouts all while claiming it could work, even as they began to discover it wouldn't.
Now, the collapse of the Terrell Owens/Philadelphia Eagles experiment is official. Andy Reid announced today that Owens would be suspended for four games and would not return to this season. A return in 2006, while not specifically ruled out, would seem impossible.
As the Owens saga ends, so does the Eagles season. Last night's loss in Washington dropped the Eagles to 4-4 and in last place in the NFC East. Without T.O., it's tough to imagine Philly even making the playoffs.
Terrell Owens is most certainly the villain in this whole episode, but that doesn't mean there should be any pity-party for the Philadelphia Eagles. They knew what they were getting when they signed Owens last year; the game's premiere receiver who also happens to be a locker room cancer. There was never any doubt Terrell Owens would act like the diva he is, it was always just a matter of when.

Sunday Thoughts
- All the Eagles fans I talked to (or, more appropriately, yelled at) last night at the game seemed thrilled to have T.O. gone. And while I fully understand, and agree, with this sentiment, the Philly fans seemed blissfully unaware that they have little shot of doing much of anything without T.O.
Brian Westbrook, while a wonderful pass-catcher out of the backfield, cannot carry any sort of load, as evidenced by Philly's historic 3/1 pass-to-run ratio. Reggie Brown might have had a big TD yesterday, but he's not in T.O.'s zip code when it comes to talent.
And, I don't know if you heard, but Donovan McNabb says he's hurt. Him and Chris Duhon during the 2004 ACC Tournament.

- As usual, there were a decent amount of Eagles fans at FedEx Field last night, many wearing the jerseys of their favorite player to play on a franchise that has never, ever won a Super Bowl. Amazingly, I saw a few Terrell Owens jerseys peppered through the crowd, which I found, well, amazing. How could you possibly wear an Owens jersey to a game three days after that prick threw your team's overrated, uninjured quarterback under the bus? Was it a political statement? A show of support? An ironical romp? Or are these the same sorts of people that wear Terry Allen and Champ Bailey jerseys to 'Skins games?

- Why is nobody ripping Hugh Douglas for his role in the Owens fistfight? What the hell is Douglas doing questioning Owens' injury, particularly when Owens played hurt in the Super Bowl? Granted, Owens was faking, but that's irrelevant. If Hugh Douglas walks into a training room and accuses someone of faking an injury, he deserves to get his ass kicked. Some ambassador; going around picking fights. What's next, President Bush naming Ron Artest as the American emissary to Finland?

- Apparently dreams CAN come true.

Sunday Superlatives
Game of the Day: Kansas City 27 - Oakland 23
A great, gutsy gamble by Dick Vermeil.

Player of the Day: Charlie Batch, QB, Pittsburgh
I know, the Packers were 1-6, so it's not like Batch winning at Lambeau is that impressive. But with the Bengals still beating up on inferior opponents, Pittsburgh has to keep pace and Batch got the job done yesterday.

Faulk Fantasy Player of Day: LaDainian Tomlinson - 107 rsh yds, 46 rec yds, 4 TD - 38 fantasy points
It looked like Danie hit L2 on that 25 yard TD reception.

Predictions
My third straight 10-3 Sunday. I can't believe I picked Arizona over Seattle though. I guess that cancelled out the Vikings/Lions game in which I assumed I had picked Detroit then was pleasantly surprised to discover that I hadn't.

The Chaz Rankings: Top Two
1) Indianapolis Colts
2) Pittsburgh Steelers

Who I Like Monday Night and I Certainly Don’t Mean Tom Brady's Chin Dimple
Is this the biggest regular season game since the Bears visited Miami on a Monday night in 1985? That wasn't rhetorical, I'm trying to think if it is. It might be. But I digress, and I'm exhausted, so I'll speed this along... I have no clue who to pick tonight. Absolutely none.
I don't think Indianapolis is nearly as good as everyone thinks (and this is coming from someone who has a man-crush on both Peyton Manning and Edgerrin James and has picked the Colts to win the Super Bowl in each of the past four seasons). Their great defense could easily be a mirage created by seven weak offensive opponents and the offense, while more balanced than it was in the past, seems to lack that big-play potential it had last year.
The Pats, meanwhile, aren't as bad as some think. Oh, who knows.
I'm just stalling here; the last time I did this it was during the Super Bowl when I went back and forth for two weeks and finally picked against my gut and chose Philly.
I see one of two results in this game: 1) Indy wins big, and I'm talking real big; they just go in and annihilate the Pats in a way that will have Gillette Stadium empty by the start of the 4th quarter and also get John Madden on a 10-minute discussion about why he doesn't like guys that wear eye-black.
2) The Pats win a close one. Indy almost had New England last year in their regular season meeting, but Edgerrin James fumbled near the goaline late in the game. I think that game, more than any of the five in recent years, shattered the Colts confidence. They had no chance to win in Foxborough in the playoffs after that. Believe the hype: The Pats are in Indy's head. I don't want this option to come true, mainly because I don't want to pick the Pats, don't want them to win and don't want to agree with Bill Simmons, who would take the Pats if they were playing a softball game against the '27 Yankees.
Alright, I'm rambling and probably not making sense because I haven't eaten since 4:00 this morning and am nearly falling asleep as I type, so here goes: New England wins, 23-20 on a late TD drive by Tom Brady. Dammit, I hate New England. I really hope they lose. My hope is that, by picking them, they will, because in game's like this, I rarely make the right pick. If I picked Indy, they'd lose for sure. If I had a time machine I would love to test my theory about this.

NFL Picks: Week 9

Detroit at Minnesota
Earlier this season, whenever I'd see the Bart Starr-Daunte Culpepper Super Bowl XL commercial it seemed awkward since it appeared the only way Daunte would make it to Detroit in February is if he got a good deal on some tickets from Mike Tice. But now that Daunte is out for the season, watching that commercial has become almost creepy, sort of like those ads for Johnnie Cochran's law firm where Cochran appears to speak from beyond the grave about the importance of finding good representation.
Pick: Minnesota

San Diego at New York Jets
Apparently Marty Schottenheimer didn't learn his lesson from last year's AFC Wild Card game. In an internet exclusive, Chris's Sports Blog has obtained a copy of the Chargers game plan for their rematch against the Jets. It appears in full below:
1) Win coin toss
2) Elect to receive
3) Return kick
4) Play for game-winning field goal
Pick: San Diego

Oakland at Kansas City
This rivalry has lost its edge ever since Norv Turner and Dick Vermeil took over for the Raiders and Chiefs, respectively. It's just not the same when each head coach leads the team in a good cry before the game and then meets up at Bennigan's for a post-game O'Doul's.
Pick: Kansas City

Chicago at New Orleans
In 20 years, which of the following will haunt Mike Ditka more?:
a) Not laying down a verse on "The Super Bowl Shuffle"
b) Posing with a wedding dress-clad Ricky Williams for the cover of ESPN: The Magazine
c) His weekly shouting matches on national TV with a former cokehead dressed like a 1930's bootlegger.
Pick: Chicago

Tennessee at Cleveland
Speaking of cokeheads, between Cris Carter and Dan Marino, HBO's Inside the NFL is halfway to having an all blow-loving cast. All they need is Dexter Manley and Stanley Wilson to replace Bob Costas and Cris Collinsworth, make "Gold Dust Woman" the show's theme song, get Andy Dick on the program somehow and move the set to the bathroom of Capitale and the transition will be complete.
Pick: Tennessee

Carolina at Tampa Bay
Whatever happened to the Gramatica brothers? For a brief shining moment they were the well-coiffed, exuberant heroes of the kicking community. But they burned out quick and now they've fallen off the face of the earth. I'm sure that wherever they are, though, they're over-enthusiastically celebrating every routine action, like performing a double-fist pump, mid-air karate chop when they successfully make toast or jumping in the outstretched arms of the gardener after getting the morning paper from the bottom of the driveway.
Pick: Carolina

Houston at Jacksonville
After Houston loses to Jacksonville, Astros manager Phil Garner will hold a press conference during which he'll rip on every player on the Texans roster just for old time's sake.
Pick: Jacksonville

Atlanta at Miami
I wonder if Michael Vick brushes up on spanish terms for veneral diseases before he goes to Miami. You know, just for safety's sake.
Pick: Miami

Cincinnati at Baltimore
At this point, fans in Baltimore are so desperate to see Anthony Wright get off the field they're delusional in their memory of Kyle Boller's abilities. Men wandering in the desert often have similar visions right before they die of dehydration.
Pick: Cincinnati

New York Giants at San Francisco
Playing in San Francisco is almost like a 10th home game for Eli Manning.
Pick: New York Giants

Seattle at Arizona
Give it a minute... Eli... San Fran... Let it percolate... There you go.
Pick: Arizona

Pittsburgh at Green Bay
If Packers president Bob Harlan had a sense of humor he should do this: When he decides to fire Mike Sherman, in lieu of a sit down meeting to inform the coach of the organization's decision to release him, Harlan should get a pickpocket to plant a phone on Mike Sherman right before one of his press conferences. Then, midway through the coach's remarks, Harlan would call the phone, prompting Sherman to go on one of his holier-than-thou rants about cell phone etiquette. Eventually Sherman would sheepishly realize the ringing phone was his. He'd answer it with a meek, "hello," and then hear, "Mike, this is Bob. Umm, you're fired." And then the cameras could catch Sherman's reaction at the precise moment he gets canned. Man, this would be amazing.
Pick: Pittsburgh

Philadelphia at Washington
There was speculation that Prince Charles and Camilla Parker-Bowles would attend this game during their visit to Washington, but the Secret Service nixed the idea after discovering Eagles receiver Reggie Brown had a name similar to Reggie Jackson. The Secret Service then decided they couldn't take the risk of having another assassination of a British royal by a player from a major professional sports league named Reggie who was being controlled by a maniacal industrialist with a vague accent via remote control beeper. Once was one time too many.
Pick: Washington

Last Week: 11-3
Season: 80-36

Questions from a Wolfman

The Wolfman, 24, once stole the t-shirt of a girl streaking the Quad at Wake Forest. When she returned, naked, drunk and confused, she inquired as to the whereabouts of her perfectly-weathered Schweppes t-shirt. The Wolfman coolly remarked he hadn’t seen such a shirt, in a Wolf-like performance that rivaled Scott Howard’s in Teen Wolf’s final basketball game.
Unfortunately, The Wolfman’s prize from that midnight rendezvous went largely unused for the next two years because he was worried the streaking victim would see him around campus wearing her shirt and demand it back. That t-shirt, lying at the bottom of his drawer, was like Darko Milicic sitting on the Pistons bench for two seasons: So much potential, so little action.
But since leaving the idyllic Winston-Salem campus, The Wolfman has gotten good use out of his Schweppes shirt and has no doubt charmed many a lady in San Diego with all its pit-stained splendor.
Today, The Wolfman asks questions about worthless sports leagues, NFL mediocrity and, for the first time, publicly professes his disdain for a certain redneck quarterback.

I’m a little worried, both the NHL and NBA have started this season yet you did not do season previews for either, why? It’s as if you don’t care about either league? We need an in depth look at the NHL and NBA this season.
After the debacle that was my combined 14-part MLS/WNBA preview this spring, my interest in doing such entries has waned. Following those magical three weeks where I discussed the virtues of Hercules Gomez, how underrated La’Keshia Frett is, my distaste for the antics of Amado Guevera and the unstoppable force that is Swin Cash, I received more e-mail and comments from readers than ever; yet all were critical.
Every day my inbox was flooded with missives from angry Colorado Rapids fans who would dutifully attach the MLS Standings to their note while making sure to point out how I picked their team to finish behind lowly Chivas USA. And then there was the ugly incident with the San Antonio Silver Stars fan who had taken umbrage at some disparaging remarks I made about Silver Star star Wendy Palmer-Daniel. Let’s just say that a 50-feet restraining order is about as effective as a screen door on a submarine.
No, Wolfman, season previews were just too much of a hassle to deal with after that. The reason I do in-depth NFL and NCAA Basketball Previews is because I really don’t care about those sports. But writing about the NHL involves me pouring a little bit of my soul into each word and, dammit, I’m just not strong enough to do that.
But, since you asked, here are quick previews of each league:
NHL - Everyone will make the playoffs, except the Washington Capitals, who will then raise ticket prices 35%.
NBA - 1) The start of 2006 training camp will be postponed so the Spurs and Heat can finish the 2006 NBA Finals.
2) The Spurs will win their fourth title in eight seasons behind Tim Duncan, the most underrated superstar in sports history. By the time Duncan retires he could have a fistful of rings and be considered the best power forward of all-time. Yet some people are still touting Ron Artest as an MVP candidate.
3) The Joe Johnson signing will go down alongside $100 million for Allen Houston and $105 million for Juwan Howard as the worst big-time contracts in recent NBA history. Johnson was the fourth option on an explosive Suns team, and now he’s expected to resurrect a moribund franchise? Besides Bullets games, I probably saw more of the Suns than any team last year because they were so fun to watch, and my impression of Joe Johnson was that he was a solid NBA player who benefited from an up-tempo offense and major minutes (he was on the floor 40 per). Put him in Atlanta and he’ll disappear.
4) Kwame Brown will be the most disappointing thing to happen in L.A. since The Magic Hour. Anyone who thinks all Kwame needed was a change of scenery clearly doesn’t know Kwame. Changes of scenery help guys that want to be good but were stuck in bad situations where they didn’t get much playing time. Jermaine O’Neal is often cited as the prime example of this, and he’s a good one. He averaged 10, 13, 8 and 12 minutes in his first four seasons in Portland, tripled that his first season with Indiana and saw his numbers go up exponentially after that. All Jermaine needed was a shot.
Well, Kwame’s had a shot. He’s had four of them. And he’s blown them each time. Kwame apologists can complain about the way Michael Jordan and Doug Collins handled him, and they probably have a point. Bill Parcells has made a career out of giving tough love to players, but he also knows which guys it will work with and which guys need to have their hands held. Kwame was clearly the latter, but MJ didn’t realize that.
But those are just excuses. The worst thing that ever happened to Kwame Brown wasn’t being drafted by Michael Jordan, it was being drafted #1. After that he seemed to think everything in his career would come easy, almost like his stardom was predestined just because he was the top pick. So Kwame didn’t work hard, did some knucklehead things in the off-season, didn’t improve and got kicked off the team during the playoffs because he “wanted to hurt Gilbert Arenas”. Then, in a self-serving interview with The Washington Post this summer, Kwame has the audacity to position himself as a martyr for all he went through in D.C..
Kwame Brown is a joke and will never be anything but.
5) Congratulations to your buddy Chris Duhon who nabbed his first career triple-double last night. Maybe he and “Jay” Williams can celebrate by taking a helmet-less motorcycle ride through the streets of Chicago.
6) Chris Paul will win the Rookie of the Year, not because he’ll necessarily be the best rookie, but because he’ll probably get the most minutes playing for the lowly Hornets. And did you see my man’s three-piece gold suit Tuesday night? Playa looked like Bishop Don Magic Juan’s illegitimate son.
7) It looks like your actual buddy, Darius Songaila, cut to chase last night and willed the Bulls to their first victory of the season with a prayer three-pointer in the waning seconds. That, along with beginning communications presentations without giving an intro, is just Darius being Darius.
8) Eastern Conference Playoff Teams (in order): Miami, Detroit, New Jersey, Indiana, Cleveland, Milwaukee, Washington, Chicago.
9) Western Conference Playoff Teams (in order): San Antonio, Denver, Phoenix, Utah, Houston, Dallas, Sacramento, LA Lakers.
10) There’s one important fact to keep in mind; I don’t know jack about the NBA.

I’m glad that the rest of the country finally learned what Chicago already knew: The White Sox are nearly impossible to watch. They hadn’t won a World Series in almost 80 years and nobody watched. I used to blame the lack of viewers on Hawk Harrelson’s brutal announcing, but that doesn’t work for the postseason. Having watched the American League all your life do you have any idea why nobody cares about the White Sox anywhere even in the AL?
I remember you often talking about how bad the White Sox announcers were, but didn’t fully realize just how awful they really are until I got the MLB In-Demand package last season. For those that haven’t had the intense pleasure of listening to Harrelson, it’s like watching a game with your friend who can’t name a single player on the team he professes to love and goes nuts on pop-outs to the pitcher because he thinks they’re going to be homeruns.
I thought long and hard about your query as to why nobody cares about the White Sox, and here’s the only reason I could think of: Over the past 90 years, the White Sox were never good enough to experience any heartbreak (which, in turn, leads to future interest – look at the Red Sox), nor were they bad enough to inspire any sympathy. Since they threw the Series in 1919, the White Sox have avoided any long stretches of lousiness; the worst being some bottom-of-the pack finishes in the early ‘30s and immediately after WWII. But it always seems the White Sox were close to a playoff berth, or hovering around third, but never were close enough to make it. Thus, they were non-factors. And nobody cares about non-factors.
Coupled with their second-team status in the Second City, and the White Sox apathy makes sense. I just hope the Sox bandwagon can hold all the new fans it has to carry.

Where do you see Manny Ramirez and Theo Epstein working next season?
I’m sick of Theo Epstein. For all the great he did (unloading Nomar, signing Papi and Schill, keeping Jason Varitek in Boston), Theo gets a pass for the A. Rod trade that would have gone through had it not been for the player’s union, desperately wanting to sign Jose Contreras, signing Edgar Renteria and Matt Clement to huge deals and being the beneficiary of Kevin Millar’s two-season deal with the devil.
I like Theo, but it’s a whole lot easier to run a team with a $120 million payroll where $32 million to Renteria doesn’t cripple the franchise for three seasons. Bill Simmons (yes, I read him the other day to get his take on this) made a good point: If Jorge Posada’s throw is a split-second earlier and Dave Roberts is called out in Game 4 of the ALCS, Theo’s legend never would have been. You can do this with a lot of things in sports (if the inane tuck-rule didn’t exist, the words “Bill Belichick” and “genius” never would have been used in the same sentence, if the Celtics got the #1 pick of the 1997 NBA Draft, Rick Pitino would be a Hall of Fame NBA coach, etc.) and it’s usually a frivolous endeavor. But it’s worth noting.
I think Theo will be working behind the scenes with some club next season biding his time until the right job opens up, unless the new owners of the Washington Nationals (if baseball ever gets off their ass and sells the team) throw him a crazy offer.
As for Manny, the Red Sox would be insane to get rid of him. $50 million for three more seasons of Manny isn’t much, especially when you figure you’re paying Edgar Renteria half of that to be 1/10th the player. The Sox won’t get value for Manny (are Sox fans supposed to be excited about the new “Manny for Glaus and Erstad” rumor?) and if he leaves, David Ortiz will experience a huge drop-off in numbers. There’s a reason guys like Mike Matheny, Joe Mauer, Mike Lieberthal and Aubrey Huff had more intentional walks than Ortiz; the protection that Manny Ramirez affords. If Manny is gone, Ortiz won’t see any pitches. And without Ortiz’s 45 homers and 145 RBI’s, the Sox won’t even have a Divisional Series to blow next season.
I have no clue what’s going to happen, but my gut says Manny won’t be taking bathroom breaks in the Green Monster next season.

I don’t know if you’ve seen this, but apparently Eli Manning had a comeback against the Broncos. Do you think he’s nearly as good as people say he is, or is this all hype. I mean a 51.1% completion percentage has always indicated a star quarterback to me, but what are your thoughts?
Wait a minute here. Hold the phone buddy. Beep-beep-beep, back up the truck. What’s all this about an Eli Manning comeback now?
My thoughts on Manning are well documented, and I can picture you sitting at your laptop writing this e-mail with a glint in your eye as you picture the tizzy I’ll get myself into ranting about how overrated Eli is. Well, it worked.
Eli has been mediocre, at best, all season. Some key stats: That 51.1% competition percentage is good for 31st in the NFL, which ranks the crybaby-daddy’s boy behind future Hall of Famers like Joey Harrington, Josh McCown, Aaron Brooks and Gus Frerotte.
His passer rating of 83.6 puts him behind Kelly Holcomb, Kerry Collins, a beat-up Steve McNair and is nearly 30 points less than a quarterback from his same draft class, Ben Roethlisberger, who has stellar numbers this year but is treated like a seasoned vet and gets none of the anticipatory hype that accompanies Manning. And that’s because Roethlisberger is already the truth, while Manning is pure fiction.
I’m not saying Eli Manning won’t be a good NFL quarterback. All I’m saying is that he’s not even close to one right now. The Broncos comeback was due, in all parts, to a shoddy Denver secondary. And Manning’s 12-31 follow-up performance against the Redskins was even worse than the numbers indicate because Tiki Barber was running all over Washington. The little girl should have been tearing up a banged-up 'Skins D that was putting eight guys in the box to stop Tiki.
At one point in the game Manning threw up a dead-duck of a ball to Amani Toomer. Had Shawn Springs not slipped, the pass would have been deflected or intercepted. Instead, Toomer nearly called for a fair-catch and the Giants got a first down. This play set Daryl Johnston and Kenny Albert off on a five-minute dissertation about how Manning was already one of the best QB’s in the league. It reminded me of watching the Falcons Monday Night football game when Michael Vick was over and underthrowing every receiver as John Madden was touting his virtues.

Speaking of quarterbacks, what’s your take on Michael Vick. I remember in college you saying he might revolutionize the quarterback position, but so far he hasn’t progressed as a passer at all. Will he ever progress, or will he always be a poor passer near the bottom of the league in passing below rookies like Kyle Orton?
It seems that we both made an effortless Manning/Vick connection. I remember saying that about Vick at some point during sophomore year, but I’m guessing I was in no state to be making rational judgments about the NFL futures of quarterbacks who were flicking their wrist and launching the ball 60 yards off their back foot on national television.
However, I did say he might revolutionize the position at the time, and I still agree with the sentiment from back in 2000. (If I recall, you agreed too, before turning back from German class because you didn’t think you “could handle it.”) At that point, Vick seemed to have it all, speed, agility, an arm, good decision making ability and precision combined into one. I believed he would turn the QB position into a passer/runner hybrid that would change NFL defensive schemes and the prototypical quarterback. Unfortunately, Vick’s good decision making and precision seemed to have gotten lost on the trip from Blacksburg to Atlanta.
He has regressed during his five-year NFL career, to the point where anytime he drops back to pass his is a detriment to his team. Yes, you can state his record as a starting QB, but that only marginalizes the contributions by Warrick Dunn and defenders like Rod Coleman.
The question now is, can Vick ever become a good passer? It took Donovan McNabb until his 6th season (which happened to coincide with the arrival of Terrell Owens) to become a great NFL quarterback. It also should come as no shock that McNabb had the fewest rushing attempts and rushing yards of his career in that season.
Vick still always is thinking about running when he drops back to pass. The first time he goes back to pass and is thinking about throwing instead of running will be the first step towards Michael Vick becoming the quarterback everybody expected him to be. If he continues with his freestyle runs two things will happen: 1) The Falcons might keep winning, but Vick will never become anything more than a below-average passer. 2) Vick will never be healthy for another game in his career.

I have not heard one person in the media say Brett Favre’s last play against the Bengals was ridiculous, all I hear is that poor Brett is trying to do too much, he doesn’t have players around him. So instead of having one last play to go to the end zone by spiking the ball, Favre fake spikes it, surprising every Packer on the field and runs 10 yards past the line of scrimmage then throwing it? What is that all about, how many free passes does this guy get for doing stupid things (6 INTs in a playoff game against Rams, being over the line of scrimmage against the Vikings in the playoffs last year, the interception against the Eagles in the playoffs). Maybe he’s like a kid out there because his brain capacity is that of an inbred hillbilly child from Mississippi instead of the alleged childish emotion he brings to the game. He was great at one time (and you have no idea how much I hate to say that) but at some point he needs to be shredded in the media for stupid stuff like that.
Be honest, that was less of a question than it was a cry for help, wasn’t it Wolfman?
You’re right about Favre and the free-passes though, and you’ve been right about it for the past five years. The media is so in love with Brett Favre that they refuse to criticize him, even in must-criticize situations like the interception against the Eagles two playoffs ago. They do it for the same reason no movie critics will rip a Clint Eastwood movie; you can't knock a legend, which is why nobody blinked when Marlon Brando would mail-in his final few movie performances just to get paycheck large enough to cover the cost of flying Big Mac's to his private island.
I watched Blood Work a few months ago on HBO and it was, seriously, one of the worst movies I had ever seen. Eastwood directed and starred, so I was wondering how the reviews were. Some excerpts:

"Although the identity of the action thriller's culprit is painfully evident early in the movie, Mr. Eastwood's direction is skillful enough to keep the suspense percolating."
Philip Wuntch, DALLAS MORNING NEWS

"You don't know whether to admire the film's stately nature and call it classicism or be exasperated by a noticeable lack of pace. Or both."
Kenneth Turan, LOS ANGELES TIMES

"It's not an important picture, and probably not even a memorable one, but I had a good time."
Charles Taylor, SALON

"For all its plot twists, and some of them verge on the bizarre as the film winds down, Blood Work is a strong, character-oriented piece."
Susan Stark, DETROIT NEWS

"What Blood Work lacks in speed and surprise it almost makes up for in doughty professionalism."
A.O. Scott, NEW YORK TIMES

"It can be argued, I suppose, that Blood Work was designed from the outset not so much as a whodunit as a why-and-how-dunit, and here the film becomes metaphysically ingenious."
Andrew Sarris, NEW YORK OBSERVER

Translation: This movie sucks, but if Clint Eastwood dies tomorrow I don’t want to be the movie reviewer who ripped his last film.
It’s the same thing with Favre. I think all these guys in the press are either blinded by their love of Favre and think he is infallible (like doting parents who refuse to acknowledge their hellion of a child), or don’t want to criticize him for fear of alienating him or their readers.
The best football writer alive, Dr. Z., did briefly mention Favre’s ridiculous play in his Power Rankings, as I’m sure you saw. (In the same rankings, the good doc also became the first online writer to mention Cornelius Griffin’s injury and how that adversely affected the Redskins defensive line during the Giants game, a key note that wasn’t mentioned once by Daryl Johnston, which I guess isn’t surprising coming from a guy nicknamed “Moose”.)
By the way, I thought the greatest part of the final Favre play was him flipping the ball when he was eight-yards past the line of scrimmage. He had that A.J. Pierzynski look on his face like, “I know this isn’t going to work, but maybe it will if I sell it hard enough.”

That guy who took the ball from Favre was hilarious. I’ve heard a lot of people calling him an idiot, though I reserve that term for Woody Paige and quarterbacks who run ten yards down field then throws the ball on the games final play. What do you think, was it funny or did it make you mad that a fan interrupted the game?
The only funnier thing I saw last week was this.

Do you think Shaun Alexander and Edge get big contracts from their respective teams, or do you see them elsewhere next year?
Everyone who has read this blog for any amount of time knows that I think Edgerrin James is the most overlooked player in football. All he does is rush for 1,300 yards and 10 TDs every season but guys like Kevan Barlow and Domanick Davis get more training camp-hype.
That being said, the Colts would be stupid to give him a huge contract as Edge is nine carries away from crossing the dreaded 2,000 carry barrier where so many great backs go to die. Somebody probably will though, so Edge could be elsewhere in 2006. (This is the main problem with the salary cap. It was never introduced to keep teams from re-signing their own players, it was adopted so teams couldn’t hoard free agents. It keeps parity in the NFL, but at what price?)
Shaun Alexander is the A. Rod of running backs. He gets so many yards in garbage time and his touchdowns come in bunches against crappy teams. So many times Alexander has a 25 carry, 90 yard day in which he got 40 yards on 22 carries and the remaining 50 on three late meaningless carries. Give me a guy like Thomas Jones who moves the chains all day instead of someone who does it when it doesn’t matter. I think the Seahawks realize this too, which is why they’ve given Shaun Alexander a series of one-year contracts.

Is Jacksonville the epitome of average? Apparently they have an easy schedule the rest of the way, but doesn’t that seem like a ticket to losing in the first round of the playoffs as a wild card? Do they just have trouble putting it all together or are they simply not as good as people say they are?
I haven’t gone out of my way to hide my man-crush on Byron Leftwich, but Sunday’s loss at St. Louis gave me serious reservations as to whether Byron has what it takes to stay in a long-term relationship. A team desperate for respect and a big road win like Jacksonville can’t go in to St. Louis and lose to a team missing three of their four biggest offensive weapons, particularly on a day where Fred Taylor runs like the Fred Taylor of old.
Jacksonville has big wins against Cincinnati and the Roeth-less-berger Steelers and their losses are at Indy, at St. Louis and home against Denver. I wouldn’t go as far as to say they’re just average, but they certainly aren’t the 3rd best team in the NFL like I had them ranked last week.
Jacksonville will make the playoffs because their remaining schedule is as follows: vs. Houston, vs. Baltimore, at Tennessee, at Arizona, at Cleveland, vs. Indianapolis, vs. San Francisco, at Houston, vs. Tennessee.
For the record, that’s eight games against teams currently with one or two wins. Figure the Jags will at least six of those, which puts them at 10-6 and in good position to get wrecked by New England in the first round of the playoffs.

I know you like to pick on the Bengals but you have to admit Carson Palmer is awesome.
Carson Palmer is awesome. He leads the league in yards, touchdowns, completion percentage (almost 70%, which is ridiculous) and trails only Big Ben in passer rating. Palmer is the real deal and once Marvin Lewis lives up to his reputation as a defensive genius, the Bengals will be too.

What do you see happening in the Colts-Patriots game? Your Colts man crush has seemed to wane this year, so who are you taking Monday night. And since I assume you’re taking the Colts, do you think the Colts are the team this year because they’re that good or the Patriots aren’t that good. And don’t say you’ll cover it tomorrow when you do your Friday picks because we all know most of the previews have nothing to do with football.
I won’t say I’ll cover it tomorrow, because I never cover Monday night games on Friday. Check back Monday afternoon for my take on the Colts/Pats game, sucka.
Oh, alright, I'll answer your question just because I know all to well what happens when you become more wolf than man. The Colts are 7-0 but their most impressive win is a 10-3 struggle over the mediocre Jaguars. They were also down 17-0 to the Rams when Marc Bulger got hurt. If he stays upright, Indy loses that game. Their other wins are against the same awful teams that Jacksonville will play over the next nine weeks, so it’s really tough to tell whether the Colts new and improved defense is simply beating up on weak competition or has actually made huge strides from last season.
I still don’t know who I’m taking on Monday night. I assume it will be the Colts, but part of me wants to take New England because they’ll have no pressure on them. Everyone expects the Colts to choke, they have to win or else the 800-pound gorilla on their backs will become an 8 billion-pound one. The Pats, on the other hand, are playing with house money. Plus, they got this guy named Tedy Bruschi back last week. Apparently he had a stroke in February but, remarkably, is back on the football field! This is the sort of story Sunday NFL Countdown should have spent 18 minutes covering at the top of the show last weekend, yet I barely heard anything about it.
I think the game boils down to this: The Colts aren’t as good as everyone thinks and the Pats aren’t as bad as everyone thinks. Indy is healthier, and therefore a little better. But with the weight on Peyton Manning’s shoulders and a raucous crowd in Foxborough, it should be a memorable night, especially if Corey Dillon steals a Schweppes shirt from some drunk chick.

Questions from a Wolfman is an occasional feature on this site.

Can The Redskins Rebound?

On Sunday the Washington Redskins became the first NFL team in 28 years (and 4th in history) to lose by 35 or more points one week after winning by 35 or more points. Their brutal 36-0 loss to the New York Giants raised many questions about the Redskins, namely whether or not the team has the talent to make a playoff run.
It won’t take long to find out; the defending NFC Champion Philadelphia Eagles roll into FedEx Field for a major NFC East showdown this Sunday night.
The primetime clash, between teams with identical 4-3 records, is one of the more unpredictable match-ups so far this season. Both squads are coming off blowout losses in important road games and need a win to keep pace with the division leading Giants.
The popular question in the nation’s capital this week leading up to the game has been, “will Gibbs have his team ready to play after suffering a humiliating defeat?” Some think the Giants game was an aberration, others believe it was the Redskins finally showing their true colors. Sunday night should provide an answer. This will be the most difficult test so far for Joe Gibbs during his comeback; getting his team ready for a big game following a disastrous defeat. Can he have the Redskins prepared?
Seeking an answer, I decided to go back and look to see how Joe Gibbs-coached teams rebounded from big losses throughout his coaching career. I defined a “big loss” as one in which the Redskins lost by 17 or more points. I also left Gibbs’ first year with the Redskins (1981) out of the data since he was still finding his footing as a head coach.
During his time with the Redskins, there have been ten games where Joe Gibbs coached the team to a loss by more than 17 points. They are listed below, along with the result from Washington’s next contest.

The Loss: September 2, 1984 – RFK Stadium
Dolphins (1-0) 35 – Redskins (0-1) 17

Next Game: September 9, 1984 – Candlestick Park
49ers (2-0) 37 – Redskins 31 (0-2)

The Redskins first two opponents of 1984 ended up meeting in the Super Bowl four months later. After dropping the season opener to Miami, Gibbs’ squad came out flat against San Fran, getting down 27-0 early in the 2nd quarter. A furious comeback by the defending NFC Champs put them within a touchdown of Joe Montana and the Niners late, but it wasn’t enough. Yet, a follow-up road game against the best team in the NFC which wasn’t decided until a third and four from Montana to Clark with two minutes left in the game means Gibbs had the ‘Skins ready to play.
Verdict: READY

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The Loss: September 9, 1985 – Texas Stadium
Cowboys (1-0) 44 – Redskins (0-1) 14

Next Game: September 15, 1985 – RFK Stadium
Redskins (1-1) 16 – Oilers (1-1) 13

Not the prettiest effort at RFK, but the Redskins, en route to a 10-6 record (which wasn’t good enough to make the playoffs), held off a Houston team that had defeated the defending AFC Champion Dolphins in their own opener.
The Oilers struggled in 1985 (they eventually fired coach Hugh Campbell and replaced him with Jerry Glanville late in the season), but regardless, Washington got into the win column after a humiliating season opening Monday night loss in Dallas.
Verdict: READY

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The Loss: September 29, 1985 – Soldier Field
Bears (4-0) 45 – Redskins (1-3) 10

Next Game: October 7, 1985 – RFK Stadium
Redskins (2-3) 37 – St. Louis Cardinals (3-2) 10

Washington was no match for a Bears team that would shuffle their way to the franchise’s first Super Bowl win, but blew out a 3-1 Cardinals team the following week at RFK.
Verdict: READY

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The Loss: December 1, 1985 – RFK Stadium
49ers (8-5) 35 – Redskins (7-6) 8

Next Game: December 8, 1985 – Veterans Stadium
Redskins (8-6) 17 – Eagles (6-8) 12

In just the second game after Joe Thiesmann broke his leg on a Monday night against the Giants, backup quarterback Jay Schroeder couldn’t keep up with Joe Montana and the 49ers. The next week, needing three wins in their final three games to have a chance at making the playoffs for the fourth consecutive season, the Redskins avenged an earlier loss to the Eagles (in Randall Cunningham’s debut) by holding off a late charge from Ron Jaworski, who had won the job back from the speedy rookie.
Verdict: READY

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The Loss: October 12, 1986 – Texas Stadium
Cowboys (4-2) 30 – Redskins (5-1) 6

Next Game: October 19, 1986 – RFK Stadium
Redskins (6-1) 28 – Cardinals (1-6) 21

The Redskins would finish the year 12-4 and advance to the NFC Championship Game before losing to the Giants 17-0 (the first and, up until Sunday, last time a Joe Gibbs-coached team was shutout), but on an October afternoon in Dallas, Washington couldn’t do much of anything right.
Penalties, turnovers, missed extra points and poor officiating led Joe Gibbs to say, “it just wasn’t our day,” following the loss. Except for the missed extra point, that game in Dallas sounded very similar to Sunday’s game in Jersey.
The Redskins next opponent, however, couldn’t be more different than the Eagles. The Redskins raced to a 28-7 lead against the lowly St. Louis Cardinals (in their second-to-last season in the city) and held on late for the win.
Verdict: READY

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The Loss: October 30, 1988 - Astrodome
Oilers (6-3) 41 – Redskins (5-4) 17

Next Game: November 6, 1988
Redskins (6-4) 27 – Saints (7-3) 24

After winning Super Bowl XXII in January, the Redskins struggled in 1988, finishing 7-9 (Gibbs worst record during his first stint as the team’s head coach), but in early November Washington still seemed poised to defend their title.
Following a six-turnover performance in Houston, the Redskins knocked off a New Orleans team who was tied for the best record in the NFC with Chicago. And it only took a late field goal from Chip Lohmiller and a personal foul call on Saints tackle Jim Dombrowski which turned a 37-yard field goal into a 52-yarder that was eventually missed to do it. (Dombrowski had taken a swing at Washington’s mercurial Dexter Manley after Manley had allegedly spit at him.)
Verdict: READY

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The Loss: November 13, 1988 – RFK Stadium
Bears (9-2) 34 – Redskins (6-5) 14

Next Game: November 21, 1988 – Candlestick Park
49ers (7-5) 31 – Redskins (6-6) 21

After the Saints win, the Redskins lost three in a row and four of their last five, including two to the teams who would meet in the NFC Championship Game later in the season.
Eleven days after suffering a heart attack, Mike Ditka was back on the sidelines and watched his Bears team roll to a convincing win at RFK.
The Redskins then flew west for a Monday night match up against the eventual Super Bowl champion 49ers and managed to keep it close despite turnovers and a weak rushing attack. Washington was down 23-21 early in the 4th quarter and had forced a San Francisco punt. But after a undoubtedly ‘roided-up Bill Romanowski recovered a Gary Clark fumble during the subsequent punt return, the Redskins momentum was stopped and the Niners scored twice more to put the game out of reach.
Considering the ‘Skins were hovering above .500 and went cross-country to play against the team that would be hoisting the Lombardi trophy two months later, keeping it close until late in the game could be considered a rebound. But they did lose…
Verdict: OUTPLAYED

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The Loss: November 1, 1992 – RFK Stadium
Giants (4-4) 24 – Redskins (5-3) 7

Next Game: November 8, 1992 – Kingdome
Redskins (6-3) 16 – Seahawks (1-8) 3

Washington went almost four years before suffering another 17-point loss, but managed to recover from watching Rodney Hampton and the Giants run all over them. The defending Super Bowl champs were out-classed the Seahawks and cruised to an ugly 16-3 win.
Verdict: READY

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The Loss: November 23, 1992 – Superdome
Saints (8-3) 20 – Redskins (6-5) 3

Next Game: November 29, 1992 – RFK Stadium
Redskins (7-5) 41 – Cardinals (3-9) 3

1992 was supposed to be the year the Saints finally won a playoff game, but they lost in the Wild Card game to the Eagles. On the Monday before Thanksgiving against the Redskins, however, New Orleans look destined for the Super Bowl as they polished off a Washington team who finished with more penalty yards (92) than rushing yards (58).
The rust came off next week when the ‘Skins dusted the Phoenix Cardinals 41-3 in front of 53,541 at RFK (including yours truly). Ex-Redskins offensive line coach (and current assistant head coach) Joe Bugel complained about Joe Gibbs running up the score after a late touchdown pass from backup QB Cary Conklin to Art Monk made the final 41-3, but Gibbs defended his play calling by saying he wanted to give the little-used Conklin some work.
Verdict: READY

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The Loss: November 21, 2004 – Lincoln Financial Field
Eagles (9-1) 28 – Redskins (3-7) 6

Next Game: November 28, 2004 – Heinz Field
Steelers (10-1) 16 – Redskins (3-8) 7

For a 6-10 team, the Redskins were in nearly all of their games last season. One exception was Gibbs first visit to Lincoln Financial Field. The game was close for a while; Philly led 7-6 with just three minutes to go in the 3rd quarter, but three Donovan McNabb touchdown passes in the final 18 minutes put the game away for the Eagles.
Across the state the following Sunday, Washington struggled against Pittsburgh but still was within a touchdown of the 9-1 Steelers midway through the 4th quarter. Bill Cowher’s defense was too much though and the Redskins dropped their eighth game of the season.
This was the worst performance from a Joe Gibbs team following a blowout loss, though it was also with his worst team. Giving Gibbs a one-year grace period to get back into the groove, and considering they kept it close on the road against a team that would finish 15-1, let’s call this one a split.
Verdict: PUSH

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Final Analysis: In ten career games following losses by 17 or more points, Joe Gibbs’ teams are 7-3 (.700). Clearly, this is a small sample size and many factors such as home/road games, strength of opposing teams and quality of Gibbs’ Redskins teams affects the data. Still, since these results were culled from 191 regular season games, they should provide a fairly reliable assumption as to the preparedness of Redskins teams under Joe Gibbs after a large defeat.
Compared to his Super Bowl winning contemporaries, Gibbs 8-2 mark in such games is by far the best. Longtime rival Bill Parcells is only 9-14 (.391) in weeks following a bad loss while Bill Belichick has a slightly worse mark at 5-8 (.384). (Just like with Gibbs, I ignored the other coaches first season in the NFL.)
Nobody, not even Joe Gibbs, knows if the Washington Redskins will rebound from their abysmal performance against the New York Giants. But based on Gibbs’ track record, it’s a pretty good bet the ‘Skins will be ready to play come Sunday night.

The Chaz Rankings: Week 8

In addition to being National Adoption Month, National Diabetes Awareness Month, National American Indian and Alaskan Heritage Month, National Peanut Butter Lovers Month, National Family Caregivers Month, National Career Development Month, National Runaway Prevention Month and National Marrow Awareness Month (during which you apparently spend 30 glorious days becoming aware that you, indeed, have marrow), November is also National Novel Writing Month. In honor of the many unread novels whose Cliffs Notes I am very familiar with, as well as the countless other important literary works throughout history, today’s Chaz Rankings will honor National Novel Writing Month (NNWM).

1) Indianapolis Colts (7-0, #1) - Great Expectations (Dickens) - Beat the Pats, Indy becomes the odds-on Super Bowl favorite. Lose to the Pats and Bill Belichick will join Steve Spurrier on the list of coaches that have Peyton Manning’s number.

2) Pittsburgh Steelers (5-2, #2) - You Can’t Go Home Again (Wolfe) - Not that Pittsburgh would want to; Monday night’s last-minute win over the reeling Baltimore Ravens got the Steelers back to .500 at Heinz Field, a place they were 8-0 in last year. Could have used this one for the Giants as well, but would have had to amend the title to You Can’t Go Home Again, Unless Paul Tagliabue Screws The Saints So You Can.

3) Denver Broncos (6-2, #4) - To Kill a Mockingbird (Lee) - Atticus Finch told his daughter it was a sin to kill a mockingbird since all mockingbirds do is make music for us to enjoy. Jake Plummer, next time you pick up your razor, remember this.

4) Carolina Panthers (5-2, #10) - Charlotte’s Web (White) - Each time the Panthers have served bacon at their pre-game breakfast, they’ve lost. I’m just saying.

5) San Diego Chargers (4-4, #9) - Sophie’s Choice (Styron) - Maybe Dean Spanos can put a call into Meryl Streep and get her opinion on the impending Brees/Rivers decision.

6) Dallas Cowboys (5-3, #16) - In Search of Lost Time (Proust) - Dallas lost a 13-point lead to the Redskins in 59 seconds, nearly beat the Raiders as time expired and choked away a huge lead against the Seahawks thanks to Drew Bledsoe’s gift of an interception. They, and not the Giants, are the team to beat in the NFC East.

7) Atlanta Falcons (5-2, #8) - Don Quixote (Cervantes) - Little known fact: Cervantes toyed with the idea of naming his masterpiece Ron Mexico before settling on Don Quixote.

8) Cincinnati Bengals (6-2, #14) - A Clockwork Orange (Burgess) - When Chad Johnson gets a pain in his gulliver he heads down to the old milkbar and gets some milk-plus with vellocet and drencrom while listening to Beethovens’ 9th on his iPod. And then after the first movement he skips over Beethoven’s symphony and calls up his Lil’ Jon playlist.

9) New York Giants (5-2, #13) - The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood (Wells) - Eli Manning’s favorite book and movie.

10) Jacksonville Jaguars (4-3, #3) - Absalom, Absalom! (Faulkner) - I have no clue what the book and/or team is about. Sure, it was a road game, but Jacksonville can’t go into St. Louis and allow Steven Jackson to run for 179 yards without Marc Bulger, Torry Holt or Issac Bruce on the field.

11) Kansas City Chiefs (4-3, #5) - The Vicar of Wakefield (Goldsmith) - Once Priest Holmes retires, the vicar is said to be high on the Chiefs wish-list.

12) Washington Redskins (4-3, #6) - The Once and Future King (White) - Sure, I could have gone with Slaughterhouse-Five, but if you can’t have hope after a 36-0 blowout, what else can you hold on to?

13) Philadelphia Eagles (4-3, #7) - One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (Kesey) - The other 11 passes Donovan McNabb threw en route to his 0-12 start on Sunday were at the feet of Greg Lewis.

14) New England Patriots (4-3, #11) - Portnoy’s Complaint (Roth) - Portnoy wants to know what Tedy Bruschi has been up to lately, because the media has done a poor job of informing us about the Pats linebacker’s recovery from his stroke. What’s he doing now? Is he healthy? Can he play? Portnoy need answers, people.

15) Seattle Seahawks (5-2, #12) - 1984 (Orwell) - Ahh, 1984. A totalitarian era in a technologically advanced world, in which intimidation and mind games were used manipulate citizens who refused to conform to the prevailing political ethos. It was also the first, and only, time the Seattle Seahawks advanced to their conference championship game. Those were the days.

16) St. Louis Rams (4-4, #21) - The Idiot (Dostoyevsky) - It’s amazing what can happen when you hand the ball off to a good running back 25 times, isn’t it Mike Martz?

17) Chicago Bears (4-3, #19) - For Whom the Bell Tolls (Hemingway) - If the Bears keep winning, it appears the bell will toll for Rex Grossman. The Wolfman did some research (he was apparently very busy at work) and discovered Kyle Orton’s numbers for his first six games are very similar to those of a whiny, mop-haired daddy’s-boy currently playing in East Rutherford. The similarities end there because Orton actually plays for the team that drafted him instead of crying like a bitch and demanding a trade like a five-year old who got GameCube instead of Xbox for Christmas.

18) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (5-2, #15) - Things Fall Apart (Achebe) - Online idiots like Don Banks and Dan Shanoff have repeatedly stated the Redskins were the worst 3-0 team in the history of the NFL. If they had any bit of empirical evidence to support their contention, then maybe I’d respect their view. But they, like so many other people of their ilk, have a rear-view mirror that only looks back two or three seasons, which is why every few months we hear about “the best game ever” and nonsense of that sort, and also refuse to give any sort of basis for their flippant statements.
That being said, let me make this statement: There is a distinct possibility that the Tampa Bay Buccaneers were among the worst 5-1 NFL teams in recent memory.

19) Oakland Raiders (3-4, #17) - Sense and Sensibility (Austen) - Norv Turner has neither.

20) Buffalo Bills (3-5, #18) - Doctor Zhivago (Pasternak) - If Kelly Holcomb goes down, the good doctor is next on the Bills QB depth chart which isn’t all that bad since the cold Buffalo weather shouldn’t affect him.

21) Detroit Lions (3-4, #20) - A Farewell to Arms (Hemingway) - And Joe Harrington’s Caseser haircut.

22) Miami Dolphins (3-4, #27) - A High Wind in Jamaica (Hughes) - Ricky Williams favorite novel.

23) Baltimore Ravens (2-5, #28) - I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings (Angelou) - Probably because it was trapped in an elevator for two hours with Brian Billick.

24) Arizona Cardinals (2-5, #23) - Light in August (Faulkner) - Darkness from September through December.

25) New York Jets (2-5, #25) - The Canterbury Tales (Chaucer) - Vinny Testaverde recently recalled running to Barnes and Noble to pick up the first edition of Chaucer’s tales when they were released in 1400.

26) Tennessee Titans (2-6, #24) - Invisible Man (Ellison) - Did you know Steve McNair started this week? (Half the people raise their hands.) Do you know only because he is on your fantasy team, or you played against him in your fantasy league? (Every hand, except for three go down.) Are you Steve McNair’s parents? (A lone hand remains up.) Is your name Ron Jaworski? (Incoherent mumbling as each hand is down.)

27) Minnesota Vikings (2-5, #26) - Catch-22 (Heller) - If preseason fantasy star Nate Burleson is lucky, he just might be able to catch 22 this season.

28) San Francisco 49ers (2-5, #32) - All Quiet on the Western Front (Remarque) - It’s so quiet they can hear Jon Gruden yelling from the Gulf Coast.

29) New Orleans Saints (2-6, #22) - On the Road (Kerouac) - The Saints season is just like Kerouac’s bohemian odyssey, minus the heroin and smelly beatniks.

30) Green Bay Packers (1-6, #27) - The Giver (Lowry) - The Brett Favre watch was suspended for a few weeks, but a true Favrian effort this weekend gets it back on track: Brett Favre 2005: 15 TD, 13 INT.

31) Houston Texans (1-6, #31) - Finnegans Wake (Joyce) - Apparently Finnegan died of boredom during the Texans/Browns barnburner.

32) Cleveland Browns (2-5, #30) - Zuleika Dobson (Beerbohm) - I’m not sure if Zuleika Dobson is a man, woman, boat or any other sort of inanimate object, but I can say with some certainty that he, she or it would be an improvement over Trent Dilfer.