Chris Answers PTI's Questions

Bill over at Eagle in Atlanta enjoys when I answer PTI's questions. Since I've given his Boston College teams so much crap over the past few months, I thought I'd wave the white flag and answer those questions today. But just so we're clear, this doesn't mean I'll admit BC is actually part of the ACC.

Is age catching up to Barry Bonds?
If by “age” you mean “lack of steroids” then yes, “age” has caught up to Barry Bonds.
Observing the media’s reaction to Bonds’ anemic start has kept me amused through the baseball season’s first two weeks. Back when the Game of Shadows excerpt appeared in Sports Illustrated everybody in the MSM (mainstream media for those who don’t use unnecessary acronyms) couldn’t stop talking about how Bonds was a cheater and how he disgraced the sport by using steroids. Now that he’s slugging .250 with zero homeruns and one RBI, though, everybody blames it on those 14 bone chips and old age. But, what about the fact that he’s clearly not using steroids anymore!
Obviously that's whats going on here. I'm sure Bonds is injured, but that's because he was able to play through injuries in the past because of the 'roids. Everybody knows this but nobody saying it on television or in the newspapers. Are they afraid of slander and libel laws? Perhaps, but if Bonds didn’t sue the authors of the book that exposed his years of cheating, he clearly has no case.
Maybe some columnist out there has written the “so this is what happens when you stop taking steroids” piece, but I’ve yet to see it.

Is Albert Pujols the best player in baseball?
Two weeks ago when I had my fantasy baseball draft I mentioned to my buddy Horo that I didn’t mind which number pick I had in the first round, as long as it wasn’t #1. If I was given that draft slot, I reasoned, I’d have to take A. Rod.
Since the fates and I have been battling ever since I didn’t call one of the Daughters of Necessity after getting her phone number in a bar, I was of course given the top pick and found out about it 30 minutes before the draft.
For those entire 30 minutes I went to every fantasy baseball web site imaginable looking for a reason not to take A. Rod. At one point I told myself, “if one site has Pujols ranked #1, I’ll take him.” None did. I bandied about trade offers as if they were Free AOL CD-Roms, but nothing caught my eye. I picked A. Rod. And now I’m stuck with that choking, please-everybody pretty boy on my roster instead of the best player in baseball. I suppose this means it’s inevitable Eli Manning will end up on my fantasy football team this fall, because if I get the #1 pick in that, how could I, in good conscience, pass up a guy with a 52.8 completion percentage?

Is Larry Brown done in New York?
I’m not gonna lie, I’ve enjoyed seeing the Knicks choke this season even though they’re the one New York professional sports team I always liked. (It was a Ewing thing.) Larry Brown is such a smug SOB and I root against Isiah Thomas for history’s sake (just like I root for Tiger Woods for the same reason) that it tops any past rooting interest.
That being said, I wish the Knicks had won 32 instead of 22 games this season. Because if they were just pretty bad, then we wouldn’t have to hear about them every day on PTI and Sportscenter. But because the Knickerbockers are so extremely terrible they’ve become the topic of discussion, even though the Blazers are more inept and Atlanta won 25 games after passing on Chris Paul and the team that got him, New Orleans, has 38. (Yes, that was a gratuitous CP name-drop, but Wake Forest barely made the NIT this year… I’m taking advantage of any possible Deac-love at all possible times.)
So is Larry Brown done? Of course he’s not. He’s paving the way for his departure with this acid reflux nonsense (take some Nexium, bro) and will sit out a season before taking over in Toronto in 2007. (How’s that for a prediction. Man, I’m going to be an insufferable clairvoyant if that one comes true.)

How good are Rudy Gay and Tyrus Thomas?
When I went to the NCAA East Regional at the MCI Center last month, I focused my attention on Rudy Gay for most of the UConn-Washington game. After watching him plod through some Huskies games during the regular season, I wanted to see what all the hype (and recent criticism) was about.
What I saw that night didn’t impress me. In UConn’s biggest game of the season (up until that point) Gay looked so disinterested I had to make sure he wasn’t wearing a Knicks uniform. He jogged up and down the court, didn’t move too much on offense and rarely worked for his rebounds. Gay did nothing without the ball. When he had it, though, he showed the flashes of brilliance that made him the #1 NBA prospect back in October.
The talent is there, to be sure. But the lack of effort has to worry NBA GM’s not named after a book of the Bible. If Gay doesn’t play hard with millions on the line, why would he play hard after getting those millions?
Granted, Gay is still 19 and he could certainly change his ways. However, footwork, placement and jump shooting can all be taught, dedication cannot. I’d be worried about Rudy Gay. (And I certainly won’t ever type in “Rudy Gay Age” on Google and click “I’m Feeling Lucky” again.)
As for Thomas, I had some great examples about how a lot of college freshman who turn pro never live up to their lofty expectations (Trevor Ariza, Kris Humphries, Eddie Griffin, DaJaun Wagner, Rodney White, Zach Randolph, DerMarr Johnson, Jamal Crawford, Donnell Harvey), but then I remembered Carmelo was a freshman when he left Syracuse and realized I must have skipped his draft when I was researching my brilliant theory. And taken immediately after Carmelo, I had forgotten, was another frosh, Chris Bosh. The moral of the story, as always: I’m an idiot.

Should the White Sox have banned Buehrle from sliding on the tarp during rain delays?
Of course they shouldn’t have, but they had to. However, I’m pretty sure Kenny Williams would let Jon “13.94 ERA” Garland slide in the tarp during a lightning storm while wearing a suit of armor if the pitcher asked to.

Mail Time
The Braves and the Mets start a three-game set tonight. The Mets are getting a ton of praise their hot start. Are you ready to hand them the division already?
The Mets have played the Nationals, Brewers and Marlins. They have an 84-year old man and a rookie in the #2 and #3 spots of their rotation. Their leadoff hitter had the second lowest OBP on the team last season. The team’s highest paid player slugger hit 16 homeruns last season.
On the other hand, when healthy Pedro is still as good as it gets. David Wright is a sublime talent. Carlos Delgado and Wright give Beltran some protection in the lineup.
It’s still the Braves division to lose (you earn that kind of respect after 14 straight titles), but, if any team is going to dethrone them in the weak N.L. East this season, it will certainly be the Mets. (I’m still picking Atlanta though.)

Ron Jaworski has gone on record as saying that Jay Cutler will be a better pro than Matt Leinart and Vince Young. Still think Cutler is all hype?
Yes, but I’ll be a lot less vocal about it now.

The Suns have been inconsistent lately and have developed a tendency to lost big. They got crushed by the Lakers yesterday, the team they’ll probably meet in the first round of the playoffs. Given what happened in their game Sunday, what kind of chances do you give the Lakers for a first round upset?
This might be the longest question in the history of "Mail Time". I’ve often wondered if the questions they use are from actual e-mails or just written by producers, but this one seems to indicate they come from actual e-mails because anybody associated with the show could have parsed that 54-word epic into: "Can the Lakers beat the Suns in the playoffs." And that answer is, “of course.” Whenever a team fails to play defense, they’re always vulnerable.

Yao Ming is supposed to spend the next four-to-six months recuperating from a broken foot, but officials in China may demand that he play in the World Championships in August. If you were Yao, what would you do?
I’d tell the Chinese government to “它吸.” (It's a bad word... I think.) I’d rant about China for a while but I’m strapped for time, so I’ll just say this: How could Tony “Mr. Liberal” Kornheiser possibly want Yao to capitulate to a communist government that rules a country where 300 million people live in abject poverty, many of whom are forced to work 12-hour days, seven days a week in sweatshop conditions for little to no pay? Yao Ming owes nothing to the Chinese government. They used him for 22 years. Now he should tell them to f--- themselves.

Sportscenter’s top ten plays showed some pretty sweet bowling trick shots. Am I wrong for being totally fascinated by this. It’s cool, right… Right??
Denzel Washington is cool. Bowling trick shots are… neat.

Big Finish
Are you surprised Zach Randolph was sent home for the year?
Just as surprised as I was that the sun came up this morning.

Is it time to start taking Chris Shelton seriously?
He has nine more homeruns than Barry Bonds and Manny Ramirez, combined. I’d say yes.

Can Josh Beckett keep it going?
This depends on what the defintion if "it" is.

Impressed by Aaron Baddeley's win this weekend?
I’m more impressed by his wife.

No Brett Favre decision until July?
I don’t know what they’re talking about; deciding whether to use the push-mower or riding-mower is a huge decision.

You surprised Kenyans won the Boston Marathon?
Just as surprised as I was that Zach Randolph was sent home for the year.

Will Pedro beat the Braves tonight?
Only if Larry Brown was nowhere near Shea Stadium.