More Like The National BORING Association!
It's cold, I'm sick and Best Buy just called to tell me my Sony SXRD won't be delivered until Tuesday because of a stocking error. Needless to say, calling me ornery at the moment would be a complament.
My spirits brightened for a moment when I made my first ESPN.com visit of the day a few minutes ago and read that the Suns had forced a Game 7 against Kobe and the Lakers. But then I saw the headline to Bill Simmons column about how these might be the greatest playoffs ever and also saw a link asking ESPN's NBA "experts" a similar question. And I got mad again.
A disclaimer: I'm not nearly as enlightened as Bill Simmons. Because my sports palette isn't as sophisticated as his, I can't appreciate the subtle beauty of professional basketball. All I see is terrible defense, disinterested players, sloppy ball-handling, referees controlling games and 48 minutes of gameplay jam-packed into three hours of extreme boredom.
Don't get me wrong, the Kobe and LeBron buzzer beaters have been great so far, but suffering through the game's first 47 minutes before getting to the action is like being forced to read all the articles in Maxim before being allowed to catch a glimspe of Jessica Alba's cans. It's just not worth it.
Nor is this: All season long NBA analysts have insisted there are only two teams capable of winning the title: Detroit and San Antonio. (Dallas has cautiously been added to that list in recent weeks.) So if only two teams are in the running, isn't everything else just peripheral? It's nice that LeBron and Gilbert are battling it out in their 4/5 match-up, but it doesn't matter one little iota who wins because either the Cavs or Bullets will get run over by the Pistons. And I know Bill Simmons is so much smarter than me (I'm blessed with this information because he tells his readers that in every column), but can he really expect the Lakers (barring opponent-injury) to make the Western Conference Finals with Smush Parker and Kwame Brown playing major minutes? (Don't bother sending me Kwame's stats from the Suns series: I could average 17 points against a team that treats defense like leprosy, and I've been hawking up blood since 2 a.m.)
This is a major reason I can't stand the NBA. LeBron, Gilbert and Kobe have been the only stories from the first-round, and none of those teams have a shot of making it to the conference finals.
In no other sport do the first-round of the playoffs mean so little. The NBA stretches this nonsense out for 16 days and totally ignores the Pistons, while hyping two teams that will serve as fodder for Detroit in five days.
It's just so damn ridiculous.
Friday, May 05, 2006
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4 comments:
Personally, I really miss the 5-game series. Remember when C-Webb's Bullets gave Jordan's Bulls their toughest battle of the postseason, despite going out in 3? The 5-game series is the closest the NBA gets to NFL-style, one-and-done intensity.
The Dikembe image justifies the existence of a 5-game series. And I agree...in the NBA playoffs, you'll catch me watching the 4th quarter and that's it.
what crawled up your ass and died?
of course, the detroit series wasn't interesting, the pistons were matched up against up against an 8 seed. the only way to make that matchup entertaining is to make it a one game series (which wouldn't be a series I guess).
and of course, the last five minutes of the NBA games are the most interesting, that applies to any basketball game, March Madness included. hype aside, these have been some of the more interesting playoff series in awhile.
best wishes with that coughing up blood thing
so caron butler can get 20 boards? color me impressed. your bullets could get something going next year with him and gil....but most likely not any better than this year.
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