Maybe J.J. Redick Is More NBA-Ready Than We Thought

Remember that autistic kid who made all those three-pointers and how everybody said it was the feel-good story of the year? Well, Jason McElwain's is still a touching tale, but its status as 2006's most heartwarming story is in jeopardy after news of J.J. Redick's arrest for DWI on Tuesday night.
Some thoughts:
* Here's hoping the Chippendales bartender who served Redick all those Malibus doesn't get in any trouble.
* I wonder how Dick Vitale took the news. I see only four possible options:
1) Dismissed the report by claiming the DWI accusations were the result of an extreme Duke-bias that comes from being the single greatest basketball program in the land, baby.
2) Immediately blamed the failed breathalyzer on fatigue, not alcohol.
3) After being awoken with the news early this morning, ran downstairs, activated his ESPN-override switch and ranted on-air for eight consecutive hours about how even great human beings and PTP'ers can make a mistake.
4) Pre-heated oven to 450 degrees. Placed head in oven.
* Durham DA Mike Nifong is said to be putting the Duke lacrosse case on the backburner so he can pursue the death penalty in this case.
* If Redick is lucky his BAC will be lower than his his shooting percentage in his final college game (.166). My college buddies are pretty sure anything above a .15 in North Carolina is a more serious offense. Not that any of us would know anything about that. Particularly those dressed as Alex P. Keaton. (Update: Redick blew a .11. And - no, can't go there. My mom will be reading this.)
* I wonder if Coach K arrived on the scene to bitch to the arresting officers about not calling anything on Tyler Hansbrough.
* Redick's arrest could actually help his draft status, as the Portland Trail Blazers are currently sitting at #4.
* To keep up with his pal, Adam Morrison plans on knocking off a Seattle-area liquor store this evening.
* Early reports indicate Redick delayed posting bail so he could see if the "drop the soap" prison stereotype is really true.
* In a Chris's Sports Blog exclusive, I've acquired Redick's first post-arrest poem:

Bars surround me. I am alone.
With my thoughts. And the spins.
The doors open. Coach K has finally come!
But alas. His Eminence the door opener is not.
I am no longer alone. A black man joins me.
I ask him if he knows Shelden Williams. Or Luol Deng.
The man calls me a name. Maybe he went to Maryland.
Why did I have that extra Mike's Hard Lemonade? Why?
To strengthen me. To embiggen me.
Yes. This is my test.
I am like Job. Or Noah.
Well, maybe not like Job. He wouldn't have gone 3-18 in the biggest game of his career.