Weekend Thoughts

Heat Take Game 5, Lead NBA Finals 3-2
Let me get this out of the way first: I was not awake when Josh Howard did, or did not, call the controversial timeout last night. My dad and I had a 7:35 tee-time on Father's Day and, as a result of the late-night/early-wakeup, I couldn't keep my eyes open long enough for Entourage, let alone a game that didn't end until past midnight. But, I did see the pertinent highlights on Sportscenter (even if their game recap didn't seem to do much recapping), so I can say the following with some certainty: The only reason the timeout/no timeout thing is a big deal is because the NBA's rule regarding the inbound of the ball after a timeout on a made basket is the single worst rule in sports.
It makes no sense, there's no logic behind it and the only reason nobody complains about it is because they've known no other way. Think about it this way, if the NFL allowed teams to move the ball to their opponents 45-yard line after calling a timeout, the Eagles still would be horrible at clock management. And everybody would be really upset about it.
There. That's out of my system. I probably rant about that every six months or so and I think I was overdue.
I also know one more thing about last night's game: Josh Howard called the timeout. He says he didn't which, of course he will because there's no visual evidence of it. (Believe me, if Chris Webber could have claimed the same thing in the 1993 NCAA Finals, he'd be in O.J.-esque denial (one in which somebody tells a lie so much that they actually believe it to be true. I'm the same way with my side-job as a volunteer firefighter. Because I tell so many girls in bars that I fight fires, whenever I hear a siren, I instinctively check my non-existent fireman pager.
Tip: The key to the volunteer firefighter lie is, after casually dropping that nugget of info into the conversation, don't talk about it any further. After all, if you really were a volunteer firefighter, would you like to talk about it so much? But I'm way off topic here, so let's get back to Josh Howard.)
Like I said, I didn't watch the game and only caught the highlights on SportsCenter so I have no clue if anybody brought this up (let me apologize if they did), but Howard made a similar timeout mistake while at Wake Forest. In 2002, the year Maryland went undefeated at Cole Field House and won the National Championship, Howard led the #21st ranked Deacs into College Park and tied the game at 89 on a little runner with 10 seconds left. After missing the free throw, Maryland ran down the court for a quick shot. With 1.9 seconds left, Juan Dixon missed a jumper, Wake rebounded and Howard immediately called for a timeout. For a split second afterwards Cole was silent except for my agonizing groan. Wake Forest had no timeouts left. Technical foul. Pandemonium in Cole. Juan Dixon hit his first free throw, missed the second on purpose and Josh Howard spent the next 30 minutes crying in the locker room.
I love Josh Howard, so it pains me to say this, but these mental errors are the rule, not the exception.
Some people like to say that "The Timeout" ruined Chris Webber in clutch situations for the rest of his basketball life. And, indeed, Webber performs like A. Rod in big situations. But this is a chicken and the egg situation. The Timeout didn't screw up Webber, he was screwed up way before The Timeout. It's the same thing with Howard.
As The Wolfman reminded me this morning, Howard always came up short in Wake's NCAA Tournament games. (Granted, before his final Tournament, Howard was given a crystal by this hippie I knew that was said to have special powers. Howard accepted it, traveled with it and had it in his locker during the game. He then went 4-10 with seven turnovers in #2 Wake's upset loss to seventh-seeded Auburn. (By the way, unlike my volunteer firefighter tales, that one is completely true.) Maybe Howard took the crystal because he's a really nice guy. (He is.) Maybe he took the crystal because he didn't want to piss off any higher power. Maybe he took the crystal because he has a soft-spot in his heart for guys that have seen Phish over 75 times. Or maybe he took the crystal because he was willing to try anything in order to play well in big games.)
One more thing, Dwayne Wade didn't even come close to getting fouled. As my buddy Obaza put it today, "We all know how bad the refs are in the NBA and it makes the games pretty much unbearable. Why should I spend two hours watching a game only to see the 100 year old refs control the game at the end?"

Phil Mickelson? More Like Phil MickelSTUPID!!!! (gruff, overexaggerated laughter follows)
Mike and Mike were absolutely killing Mickelson today after he choked away the U.S. Open yesterday on the 18th hole. Phil probably deserves it, but not as much as he's getting it today. I'm not going to say I'm going to play devil's advocate because I hated that movie almost as much as I hate that term, but I'm going to put myself in the rare position of defending Phil (a man who I am not the biggest fan of, despite our similar left-handed tendencies. Mike Weir, on the other hand, that cat is cool with me.)
Here goes: Phil's choke isn't worse than Jean van de Velde's and it's not worse Greg Norman's either. He choked, to be sure, but it's not a Hall of Fame choke like the other two I've mentioned for the following reasons:
1) Phil only made one bad shot on 18 and made just two stupid decisions. The bad shot came off the tee and the stupid decisions were pulling out driver and not chipping out of the rough the first time around. And I'm not even sure the latter was that stupid. I'll get more into that in a minute.
2) On Sunday the 18th hole was the second-most difficult hole on the golf course. The average score was 4.44. In other words, par wasn't assured, as most people have been claiming today.
Now, Mickelson probably should have pulled out the 3-wood (or even the 4-wood) on the tee. Hitting just 2 of 14 fairways is a sure sign that one's swing mechanics aren't operating smoothly. But, other than that decision (and the bad shot), Mickelson didn't f*** up that badly.
Put yourself in Phil's shoes after the wayward tee shot. He walked up to the tee knowing that a simple par makes him the U.S. Open champion. At that point, a playoff isn't even in his mind. All he's looking for is the win. After the tee shot (and its miraculous lie, because that shot would have landed in Manhattan had it not been for the hospitality tent), Phil has to readjust his expections a bit. A playoff is in the back of his mind, but with the beneficial lie and a decent look at the green, par is by no means impossible. After all, Phil had saved par nearly a dozen times on Sunday after hitting the ball in the rough after a tee shot. I'm sure he thought he had room for one more.
At the time, I agreed with Johnny Miller and thought Phil needed to lay-up. But that's why I shot a 45 on the back-nine yesterday and was watching the Open on TV. Phil knows his game. He's not the reckless kid he once was. He had won three of the last nine majors. Surely he thought he could pull off the shot and so, apparently, did his trusted caddie. (Or think of it this way: If it had been Tiger in the same situation, would anybody be criticizing him for taking the risk? )
At 7:03 p.m. yesterday, when Phil took that shot, he was the best golfer in the world. Who the hell are any of us to tell him to play for an 18-hole playoff on Monday instead of winning the title outright on Sunday? Of course he was going to play for the win! It's not like he had to hit the ball through a clown's mouth and windmill. It was a shot over some trees and onto a green, a shot Phil has pulled off many times before. Just because he didn't execute doesn't mean he made the wrong choice.
People always use the "in the heat of the moment, you make bad decisions" line to defend athletes. Most of the time, I think it's a cop-out excuse. Not in this case, though. If Mickelson truly thought he'd have a reasonable chance to make par and win the U.S. Open he had to try to get that ball on the green. It hit a tree instead (at least that's what we've been told, because NBC decided that one camera shooting the biggest shot of the Tournament was acceptable, it seems). After that, Phil had to try to make bogey and did his best to do so. It didn't happen, he lost and Geoff Ogilvey backed into the victory.
Phil made a mistake of the tee. But after that, the man was just trying to win the U.S. Open. Leave him alone and let's focus on more important stories, like how hot his wife is.

U.S. Beats Italy! Wait, It Was A Tie?! Then Why Are We So Happy???!
In other news, David Stern placed an emergency call to Jorge Larrionda to see if he was available to ref Game 6 of the NBA Finals.

Zimmerman Hits Jack Off Wang, Nats Steal Series Against Yanks
I'm so glad I decided to catch the Nats/Yanks on Friday when the Nats blew a late lead, instead of on Saturday and Sunday when they came back for unexpected wins. Well, at least I got to see A. Rod and his purple lips choke like the choking dog he is. (And at least all three games were on TV, along with two of the first three against the Red Sox. It's ridiculous that Nats fans in Maryland get excited when five straight games are actually televised.)

Hockey: It's Still Going On
And Howie Mandel's pissed.