Carrie Underwood Is So Gonna Get With Cleo Lemon

If Barack Obama was caught in the back of a Chuck E. Cheese blowing lines off a nude Rush Limbaugh while killing a whale during an NRA/Pro-Life Mixer, I don't think his reputation would go in the toilet as quickly as Tony Romo's did tonight.
If Romo could have gotten that ball placed on the ground, not only would my 23-21 Cowboys prediction have turned out exactly correct, but we'd be hearing comparisons all week about this year's Dallas team and last year's Steelers, because the Cowboys would have a very realistic chance to win the NFC. Instead, Romo butterfingers the hell out of it and the Seahawks live to see another day.
ESPN.com is making the natural comparisons we all thought of, saying Romo's play will go down with Leon Lett's fumble, Garo Yepremian's botched kick, Joe Piscarcik's fumble (a play my mom reminds me of every time I say "game over" prematurely) and Jackie Smith's endzone drop. So, the question begs, is this the worst gaffe in NFL history?
Before answering, it's important to define what we're asking. In terms of stupidity, nothing will ever touch Lett's fumble in the Super Bowl nor his snow recovery against the Dolphins. And Piscarcik's fumble was laughable, but more moronic than anything. Ditto for Yepremian's gallant attempt to salvage a botched kick that ended up turning into a Redskins touchdown in Super Bowl VII. Those plays were mental screw-ups. And only Piscarcik's ended up costing his team the game.
Romo's muff belongs in the category with Smith's drop and Trey Junkin's snap and Tom Brady's fumble; mistakes that weren't made by stupidity, but incompetence. Of the three (and I'm sure I'm forgetting some other big mistakes, so let me know if I have in the comments section. And, yes, I know Brady didn't techincally fumble in that snow game, but we all know he did, don't we Jimbo?), Junkin had the toughest job; snapping a ball under his butt to an exact spot seven feet away. He should have made it, but, as Chris Rock says, I understaaaaand. Smith's Super Bowl drop was bad, but at least he was moving in the end zone and was trying to catch a ball rifled at him. It was terrible and could have cost the Rams a Super Bowl, but it's fairly understandable. Guys drop balls all the time, Terrell Owens can speak to that.
Romo, on the other hand, I just can't comprehend it. I've never, ever seen a botched field goal like that. The snap was perfect, as was the catch. Those areas are always where potential trouble lies. But tonight, they were executed flawlessly. Of the three things Romo had to do as the holder (catch, place, spin), he performed the hardest one (the catch) with ease. No, Romo screwed up when he couldn't put the ball down on the ground for Martin Gramatica to kick. Have you ever seen that happen? Does anybody with any kicking experience read this site? Please enlighten us. I'm just speaking to what I see on TV and I can't ever remember muffing the transition from catch to placement.
Romo did make a gallant effort to score after the mistake (and from NBC's on-field camera angle, it looked like he might have a shot) and was gracious in defeat after the game, apologizing to his teammates and fans and putting the onus entirely on himself, so I'll give him some credit for that. But not too much, because that would totally take away from how happy I was watching dejected Cowboys trudge off the field.
And, thusly, our long national nightmare is over. It will be a long time before we ever hear faint praise being uttered with the name Tony Romo hanging in the air.
After the game, of course, the texts and calls were flowing from all the Cowboys haters and here are some of the better comments from the evening (50% are probably me, 49% come from others and 1% involve Nick Saban denying any interest in the Alabama job):
* "Romo's hands must have been to slick from messing around with Carrie Underwood."
* "Nice hold, God's son."
* "He looks upset. I'm sure T.O. can lead him some Vicodin to ease the pain."
* "When the Cowboys got the ball, I told this guy that the perfect thing would be for the Cowboys to drive down field and for Tony Romo to crap the bed and leave a huge stain. And Romo managed to so far exceed my expectations that even I'm surprised. Throwing the pick I expected him to throw in the endzone is, maybe, 1/1000th as terrible as muffing the placement. Oh man, he didn't just leave the stain; more stains are evolving from that one stain and eventually this will lead to a colony of stains that will have, as their leader, a FatHead of Tony Romo, the creator of life. Oh man, this is awesome."
* "Turn on ESPNews, Romo is crying in his press conference. It's almost like I should feel bad for him, but then I think about him f****** up that snap and I start laughing and forget that the sympathy ever even entered my mind."
* "Can we get some Vegas odds on whether Parcells will call Romo "she" in his presser?"
* "Jerry Jones would be frowning right now, but surgery #31 pretty much rendered any facial movement impossible."
* "I wonder if Donovan McNabb's mother feels bittersweet not that Romo looks like he's overtaking her son as the go-to quarterback who chokes under pressure. But it's not like Romo vomited on the ball, so Donovan is still firmly entrenched at #1. But Romo's coming, baby. Romo's coming."