Chris Answers PTI's Questions

Is Bill Parcells done for good?
Parcells leaving the Cowboys has caused some analysts to say they were "shocked" by the news. And I agree. Just like I was shocked when Basic Instinct 2 was shut out of the Oscar nominations this morning. I'm guessing the same people who expressed their extreme surprise were the same who thought the Bears had no shot against the Saints because can any career move made by Bill Parcells really be considered shocking?
The Cowboys were his fourth team, which he went to after proclaiming in 1996 that he was done with football. Nobody believed this, of course, especially the writers who select members of the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Parcells was an easy choice for induction in the late '90s, but because everyone expected him to return, the committee planned on waiting until they figured Parcells was done for good. As for whether Parcells is coming back, let's just say I don't expect him to be making any speeches in Canton soon.
My guess is the beginning of the end of Parcells' tenure in Big D came when Jerry Jones foisted Terrell Owens upon him. Expect him to take the year off and then be associated with every big-name coaching job that comes up in the next two seasons. (Hello, New York?) Parcells becoming a GM has been suggested, but can you really see him shopping for the groceries without preparing the food? Pat Riley tried that and we all know what happened there.

How did the Colts win?
The Colts finished off the Pats on Sunday because Bill Belichick's heralded defense couldn't have stopped 11 grandmas during the second half. Peyton Manning played nicely, but it was hardly a sublime, Peyton-esque effort. It's not like we're all sitting back today reminscing about how Manning marched down the field a la Elway. The Colts just sort of gained momentum with their late field goal in the first half and continued it by scoring immediately in the second.
Reche Caldwell didn't help matters for New England, but neither did anyone else. During the fourth quarter me, Horo, Jaffe and Russ (but not Antzo, because he was sleeping. Through the whole game. On the floor.) were suggesting various scenarios for how the game would end. Vinatieri would make or miss a game-winning kick, Gostkowski would do the same, Peyton would throw a pick, Brady would lead a comeback, Robert Kraft's two-toned shirts would blind Tom Moore and lead to absurd playcalls, etc. And each of those seemed feasible as the fourth quarter unfolded, but when it came time for Brady to lead a game-winning drive with under two minutes, did anybody else feel, at the time, that Brady didn't have a chance in hell at doing so?
This isn't a knock on Brady, a quarterback who could retire today and be a Hall of Famer, but unless you're a Pats fan, it wasn't too surprising to see Brady throw that pick. I can't really figure out why that was, I just know that Brady didn't look all that calm on the sidelines near the end of the game and, for a guy who has won so much, he doesn't feel clutch like MJ or Bird or Montana or Elway. Let's just say I was about ten times more surprised 24 hours before when Gilbert Arenas missed a potentially game-winning three. And Gil's only been doing that sort of stuff for the past 12 weeks.

Is Peyton Manning's reputation secured?
What's the first thing anybody mentions when they bring up Dan Marino? That he doesn't have a ring. So, no. The only thing Peyton secured Sunday was that he isn't Bill Belichick's bitch. He still needs to win the Super Bowl before he retires, or his entire career will be marred by the gaping hole on his resume. Fair or not, this is the way it is.

Dominant performance by the Bears?
Wait, the Bears and Saints actually played? I just thought Chicago was going to roll over and play dead for New Orleans, since that what every football "expert" seemed to think was going to happen in the NFC Championship. I'm still flabbergasted that all eight analysts on ESPN predicted New Orleans to win a road game. I ranted about this all weekend and was vehemently rooting against the Saints for that reason, and that reason alone.
The Bears performance was deceivingly dominating, as the game was in doubt early in the fourth quarter, but Rex Grossman turned it on when he needed to and Chicago coasted to the NFC Title. Bears-haters like Gene Wojciechowski still insist Chicago could have lost the game in a number of ways, which is an interesting point because I don't seem to remember Grossman getting nailed on a corner blitz, fumbling, losing possession and then having the ball given arbitrarily given back to his team beacuse of some moronic, arcane and incorrect rule. Because if that had happened, you know everybody would be killing Chicago this week and calling them undeserving champions, but when it happens to a butthole-chinned pretty boy who throws last-minute interceptions, he's heralded as the second coming of Joe Montana.

How significant is the Dungy/Lovie matchup?
As I said Sunday, this is not a Jackie Robinson moment, or even a Doug Williams one. Instead, it is two good coaches, who happen to be black, coaching against one another in the Super Bowl. I think it's cool that they're good friends more than anything else, although we'll all surely be sick of that angle in 12 days too. The matchup is significant, but will do nothing to alter the perception of black coaches in league circles, because in 2007, nobody with a brain actually thinks black men can't adequately coach a football team.

Should the Colts be seven point favorites in the Super Bowl?
I spoke about the absurdity of this line on Sunday, but here's some more: In week 15, Indianapolis was favored by 3.5 points at home against Cincinnati, a team that finished .500. In week 8, the Colts were 2.5 road underdogs against Denver, another team that watched the playoffs from home. In week 16, Peyton and the boys were giving 9.5 to a Texans team that was 4-10. (Houston won that game, by the way.) So how can the Bears, a 13-3 team that crushed a Saints team that was thought by NFL experts to be the best in the NFC.

Is Mike Tomlin a good hire for the Steelers?
The Rooney's have a pretty damn good track record of selecting coaches, so I'm going to say yes, even though I had never heard of Mike Tomlin and accidentally Googled "Mike Timlin" when I was looking for background on him.

Charges will not be filed for Michael Vick?
Good for Michael Vick. Now the family attorney can focus all his attention on Marcus. But let's not be stupid about this. First of all, Vick had the bottle with the secret compartment, and that thing isn't meant for Chapstick. Second of all, since when do they have to take stuff to a lab to find out if its weed or not? Couldn't they just have flown Snoop in and saved themselves the trouble?
And I don't, for a second, believe that "nothing" happened here. Vick refused to give up the bottle (because he's an idiot) and they thought something was in there in the first place. Michael Vick is stupid. Michael Vick smokes weed. Michael Vick is also not a good NFL quarterback. Just because this incident doesn't prove the former two facts, doesn't mean they are any less true.

Mailtime
Reggie Bush's taunt and dance against the Bears was behavior we expect from T.O.. I thought this guy was supposed to be all class and a "student" of LaDainian Tomlinson.
Reggie screwed up, but he manned up afterwards and apologized. This seems to be out of line for him, since he had never done anything like that before. Let's give him the benefit of the doubt and hope he doesn't do it again.

Did you see Bill Belichick give Peyton Manning the brush-off after their game on Sunday? Kinda supports L.T.'s remarks about Belichick having no class, don't you think?
I can't stand Bill Belichick and think he's a classless schmuck. However, Peyton doesn't need Belichick's congratulations and I'm not going to blame Belichick for not wanting to speak a few perfunctory, meaningless words to the opponent who just ended the thing he has been working for over the past 12 months. What did you want Belichick to do, give Peyton a hug and say "you did it, friend!" That would have been fake, so why is it considered necessary. It's not like Belichick shoved him out of the way or anything.

What a joke! A hand touches a helmet at the most critical moment in the game – not a slap or punch, but a graze – and it goes for a personal foul. The game is changing before our eyes and NOT for the better.
That was a terrible call, as was a non-call on some Colts pass interference in the endzone on the drive before. However, those 15 yards probably didn't mean much to Indy, since they were having their way with the Patriots defense and would have scored eventually and, more importantly, New England got away with a real roughing the passer penalty earlier on the same drive. Plus, for a team that won three Super Bowls solely because of a fumble in the snow was somehow ruled to be a forward pass, Pats fans have a lot of nerve for bitching about the refs. Shut up.
That being said, the roughing the passer calls this year have been insane. They need to stop babying the quarterbacks, and I think this includes bringing back the old intentional grounding rules that dictate a quarterback can't throw the ball away no matter where he is on the field.

Would Deion Branch have dropped those big passes Reche Caldwell dropped? Cheap shot question, but, you know?
Caldwell's drops were terrible, but I'm sorry that I missed Deion Branch's All-Pro season in Seattle, because, last I checked, Reche Caldwell had more receptions and yards this season than Deion Freakin' Branch.

The midwest is on a serious roll – first the White Sox and Astros, then the Cards and Tigers, and now the Bears and Colts. What's your take on the midwest owning the sports world of late?
That's all well and good, but who won the Stanley Cup this season??? Seriously, who, because I have no idea.

Chris Answers PTI's Questions is an occasional feature on this site