Final Four Preview

Georgetown vs. Ohio State
One of the most important moments of this contest will happen about 75 minutes before tip-off, when the NCAA announces which three officials will be on the floor for the game. Those three men (assuming the NCAA doesn't steal Violet Palmer from the NBA) will be responsbile for deciding what constitutes a foul when two 7-footers are banging bodies in the low-post. Good luck, suckers. Because, pretty much, these guys are going to be screwed either way. They'll either call the game too tight, meaning OdenBert will play a combined 39 minutes or they'll let them play and then call random ticky-tack fouls at the end and get slayed for it in the media. There's almost no shot of them being consistent with their calls, sort of like NBA officials are with Shaq. You can't call everything on the big men or else they'll foul out by the second TV timeout. But you can't have them ending the game with one foul each either. It's a Catch-22 and it will likely make one fan base very angry at around 7:14 tomorrow evening.
The NCAA selects three three-man teams to work the two National Semifinals and National Championship after ranking officials for their work during the Tournament's first four rounds. John Feinstein details the process in his book A March to Madness but apparently I've lost, misplaced or lent-out all three of my copies of the book because it doesn't seem to be on my bookshelf. (When relatives and friends know you like both athletics and reading - a la Justin Redemer - you tend to get accumulate multiple copies of books. And since I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth or any other area of its body, I tend to have as many copies of popular sports books as the local library does of the fourth Harry Potter. But I digress.) Anyway, getting the Final Four nod is a really big deal to these refs, as you could imagine, but probably haven't.
My problem is (and never having officiated a basketball game, I could be totally wrong), it's probably pretty awkward for three guys who, presumably, are not familiar with each other's officiating style to get thrown together late in the week to call the biggest college basketball games of the season. Again, I'm kind of treading in unfamiliar territory here with the inner working of college officiating (it's like I'm Bill Simmons, except refereeing replaces the entire sport of college basketball), but I'm pretty sure the three-man teams are culled together with guys from various conferences. So, in theory, you could have an ACC ref joining together with an SEC and Big East ref for a Final Four game. That seems ridiculous.
Each conference plays a different style of basketball and, as a result, each games are called a different way. Officials mix-and-match during non-conference play but, on the whole, a ref is identified with the conference he works in during January and February. I really don't know where I'm going with this and think I might be in over my head, so let me try to wrap this up before I get off another tangent: A Big Ten game is called differently than an ACC game and and ACC game is called differently than a Big East game and a Big East game is called differently than a Pac 10 game. To throw officials from those conferences together for the biggest games of the year is akin to expecting a team comprised of NBA All-Star team to be able to beat the Mavericks. Talent doesn't equal teamwork.
In conferences (or at least in the ACC) there aren't specific officiating teams, but guys work often with one another and know each other's styles. Thusly, the NCAA should consider getting officials from conferences not represented in the Final Four to officiate those games. Familiarity might breed contempt, but it also breeds a better-called game.
But enough about the refs. Tomorrow's Georgetown/Ohio State matchup should be a good one, which means that it almost definitely won't be. The only college game that has lived up to its hype this season was Georgetown/UNC in the Regional Final. Every other uber-hyped matchup in both the Tournament and regular season has been kind of boring. The best games have been the unexpected ones (Texas/Oklahoma State, Florida/Tennessee, Ohio State/Xavier, etc.).
For all the talk there's been about the Florida/UCLA rematch, I haven't heard or read once that Georgetown/OSU is also a rematch from last year's Tournament. The seventh-seeded Hoyas knocked off #2 Ohio State in the second round before losing to, yes, Florida, in the Sweet 16. (The Hoyas gave UF their toughest game during their Championship run.)
Even if the game doesn't live up to the hype, the Hibbert/Oden battle will be interesting. But it doesn't change the fact that Jeff Green will be the best player on the court. Before the Tournament I wrote that Green would be the breakout star of March. And even though he hit a game-winning buzzer beater and is the best player on a good Final Four team, he's still somehow underrated. I guess five tools guys can't get any love in a point guard/center dominated world.
Green reminds me a lot of Josh Howard; a guy who does everything really, really good, but nothing really, really great. Luckily for him, Green won't fall to #29 in the NBA Draft. Compare their numbers in their final seasons in college (assuming Green comes out as a junior):

Howard: 19.5 ppg, 8.3 rpg, 1.9 apg, 47.7 fg%, 37.3 3p%, 83.3 ft%
Green: 14.4 ppg, 6.4 rpg, 3.2 apg, 50.9 fg%, 37.5 3p%, 78.0 ft%

Howard, it should be noted, played on one of the most prolific offensive teams in the country during his senior season, which explains the difference in points and rebounds.
Because of Green, expect John Thompson III to have Hibbert go right at Oden. A foul-fest between the two big man benefits Georgetown since Green is capable of carrying the Hoyas by himself.
Worst case scenario for the "Challenge Oden" theory: Hibbert falls on his grenade and takes Oden with him. Best case scenario: Hibbert fares better than everybody expects against Oden. For all the talk of "Hibbert has never seen anyone as big as Oden," don't forget that Oden hasn't seen anybody as big as Hibbert either. Oden is clearly the superior player, but there could be an adjustment period for the freshman. And with only 40 minutes to adjust, Hibbert could have a surprising day.
Pick: Georgetown

Florida vs. UCLA
Besides the fact that UCLA played Florida and that Joakim Noah acted like a jackass before, during and after the game, what do you remember about last year's Championship? As Edwin Starr could doubtlessly tell us, "absolutely nothing." And you know why? Because last year's NCAA Title game was so boring, it made Maryland/Indiana look like the Duke/Kentucky '92 Regional Final. Here's what I wrote about the Championship game last year:

One time, as part of court-ordered community service, I volunteered at a homeless shelter. (Of course, if one is forced to partake in an activity under threat of penalty of the law, can it really be considered volunteering?) Anyway, during my 50 hours at the shelter, one of my responsibilities was to look at the security monitors at night to make sure all was kosher throughout the building. Nothing ever happened (which was good, because what the hell would I have done if, say, a fight had broken out in the sleeping hall - walked up there and politely requested they stop?), so my evening pretty much consisted of staring at the one monitor that had a partial-shot of the road on the off-chance that a car would drive by to give me a wee-bit of excitement and flipping through various back-issues of Ebony from the early-'90s. This would go on from 2 a.m. to 6 a.m. for five consecutive Monday nights. And sitting in that cramped little space, watching six monitors where nothing ever happened in the middle of a men's homeless shelter, in the middle of the night, in the middle of the ghetto... Well that was still a whole lot more exciting than the 2006 NCAA Men's Basketball Championship.
Man, that was boring.

But if Bill Simmons says the rematch is going to be great, then it's so gonna be!
UCLA absolutely shut down Kansas last Saturday night. Florida hasn't seen a defense like the Bruins' all season and it will fluster them early. I'm expecting a tight game but am picking UCLA because I'm not convinced Florida knows how to play a close game. I'm not in the mood to scroll through the posts from the past few weeks, but somewhere I looked up how many close games Florida has played since last March and it's not very many. The close games they have won haven't been against very good teams either. The Gators could be very vulnerable if this game is close late.
My main problem with Florida is that everyone expects them to win, and those teams rarely do, indeed, cut down the nets on Monday. (Chuck Klosterman echoes this sentiment in his fantastic Final Four blog on ESPN.com. Unlike some Page 2 personalities, Klosterman knows college basketball and can make erudite points while still keeping his pop culture sensabilities. I wonder how this makes Bill Simmons feel? He's supposed to be ESPN.com's cock of the walk and then some hipster in Lisa Loeb glasses steals his thunder by playing Hemingway to his Danielle Steele. I doubt highly that Simmons fans are Klosterman fans, though. Judging by the mean-spirited, underpunctuated rhetoric that was spewed on my Comments after a Simmons-rant from February, I'd be amazed if those readers made it past the fourth word of Klosterman's first entry from today. (It began, "Much to the chagrin...) Anyway, Klosterman thinks Florida is predestined to doom because of their favorite status. He also thinks that OSU's escapes over Xavier and Tennessee means they're on the road of good karma since Championship teams always seem to have one close call in the Tournament. I thought the same thing after the Xavier win, but then said that the Tennessee win cancelled it out. Last thing about Klosterman; promise. In his final entry of the day, he theorizes that the over-saturation of sports is hurting sports. Again, this is something I talked about the other day when I was bitching about how ESPN is making me hate the NFL Draft because they spend so much time talking about it on Sportscenter. Wait, I lied about that being the last thing because I just saw that, in the same entry, Klosterman writes about how awesome Moses Scurry was. As longtime readers here know, Moses Scurry is my go-to name whenever I need to make a craziness comparison. And that's the difference between Klosterman and Simmons: One knows who Moses Scurry is, the other thinks college basketball ended and began with The Fab Five.)
Where was I? Doesn't really matter since I'm ready to finish this up anyways. In closing, Florida is the most cocky college basketball team since UNLV in 1991. And we all know what happened to them.
Pick: UCLA

Enjoy the weekend and come back Monday when I'll be previewing the inevitable Florida/Ohio State National Championship.

O.J. Mayo Laughs At Grandmama's Un-Blingy Watch

I've been light on the posts this week for a few reasons, none of which are very good and/or interesting. Come on back tomorrow for a Final Four preview and more inanity from Bill Simmons. (He's become the college basketball equivalent of Sanjaya. Simmons is a loathsome, offensive brute, yet I cannot look away.)
In the meantime, the other day I thought of this old Sports Illustrated cover and finally made it over to SI.com's cover archive to see if it was as awesome as I remember it. The verdict; it's good, but not Delta in-flight magazine good. And why is Larry Johnson in an overcoat? Were those chilly Vegas autumns too much for him?
I'm not 100% certain, but I think this was the first SI that ever came to my house. I seem to remember begging my mom and dad for an SI subscription because SI for Kids (of which we were charter subscribers when it came out in January '89) wasn't timely enough since it was a monthly. I was eight at the time, the same age Greg Oden was when he first started subscribing to SI in 1973.

Bill Simmons? More Like Lazarus Simmons!

It's 83 degrees in downtown Bethesda and I have the day off, so I'm about to leave to sit on an outdoor deck, drink some cervezas and eat my weight in hot wings.
Some quick hitters:

* Thank Bill Simmons that Bill Simmons started watching college basketball this year. The game has been so irrelevant since He left it for the greener pastures of watching NBA teams go through the motions until mid-April. Now that He's back on board with the NCAA, the college game has been so much better. Imagine if Simmons would start watching the NHL. My, how He could resurrect that moribund league!
Never before has an NCAA Tournament been competitive or had a lot of favorites advance to the Final Four... Until Simmons came, that is. Never before have two point guards been a huge part of the Tournament, especially not two years ago when Chris Paul, Deron Williams, Raymond Felton, John Lucas III, Gerry McNamara, Marcus Williams, Randy Foye and Allen Ray played starring roles. If you think the current point guard bonanza and Simmons return to the game are coincidental then you, my friends, are ignorant.
Now I'm all riled up and want to write a lot, but I've gotta get outta here, but not before saying that Oden and Durant made this season great, but Durant flamed out in the second round and Oden isn't really a compelling figure while on the court. Sure, he's great and the battle with Roy Hibbert will be fun, but have you had discussions this week with people about how fun it is to watch Greg Oden play? No, you were talking about how awesome the Georgetown/UNC game was; a contest that would have been equally great if the NBA didn't impose their age-requirement (which Simmons lists as the #1 reason college basketball is "back".)
And how can Simmons list D.J. Augustin on his "quality point guard" list? Augustin was simply brutal in the Longhorns blowout loss to USC; he did more to lose that game than Rick Barnes, and that's saying something. Two more guards that made his list, Tyrese Rice and Gabe Pruitt, are fine basketball players, but there are ten to fifteen guys every year just like them. And that's being really generous to Rice.
As for Simmons' line that this is the best Final Four since 1993 - maybe it is, if you haven't been watching since 1993. Off the top of my head, the Final Fours in 2005 (UNC, Illinois, Louisville and Michigan State (?), 2002 (Duke, Arizona, Maryland and Michigan State (?) and 1999 (Duke, Connecticut, Ohio State and Michigan State (? why do I always assume MSU is in the Final Four?) were all fantastic and featured NBA-ready talent. Hell, there were four lottery picks off that 2005 UNC starting lineup or one less than there'd be right now from all the Final Four teams combined (Oden, Green, Noah, Horford and Hibbert). Don't get me wrong, the talent level this year is fantastic; but certainly not historic.
(Simmons does, in fact, mention the 1999 Final Four in the column, but also says in the same paragraph that this will be the most exciting Final Four since 1993, which is where I got that from.)
This line also got to me, but in a different way than the old man from Home Alone gets to Costanza:

Saturday's games (Florida-UCLA and OSU-Georgetown) are appointment viewing for anyone who ever gave a crap about basketball. When's the last time you could say something like that about the Final Four?

Phew! Thanks for clearing that up, Bill. I had tickets to Cirque du Soleil on Saturday, but now that you've issued this decree to all basketball fans, I'll give those away and instead watch some games! I can't remember the last time I watched a Final Four. Certainly not last year when the greatest Cinderella story since the 1980 U.S. Hockey team was unfolding before our eyes. Or the year before that when the two best teams in college basketball, UNC and Illinois, played an instant classic in the Finals. Or in 1999 when Duke and Connecticut met in a colossal slugfest.
The quality of play is no better in this Tournament than in any Tournament over the past ten years. That Ohio State and Georgetown got bailed out by bad officiating and Al Horford managed to save UF against Butler doesn't change this. The high seeds in the FInal Four are as much of an anomaly as George Mason was last year. That unpredictability makes up the beauty of college basketball, as every real fan of the game knows.

* Before you start comparing this Georgetown team to the dynasty from the mid-'80s, check out Thomas Boswell's column from today's Washington Post. Read the whole thing.

* The American swim team is in the midst of an unprecedented run at the World Championships. Michael Phelps shattered one of the sport's most untouchable records today in the 200 free, as Aaron Piersol and Natalie Coughlin broke their own world records in their respective backstroke events as well. Local product Kate Ziegler also won gold, almost breaking Janet Evans' world record in the 1500 freestyle, a mark which has stood for an amazing 19 years. Towson-born Katie Hoff then went and broke an American record in the 200 freestyle in her semifinal heat.
I'm very pleased to see ESPN.com keeping up with the World Championships in their headlines, along with a number of the MSM news wesbites. As always, the coverage in The Washington Post has been phenomenal. Amy Shipley's coverage from Melbourne has been superb and the print newspaper has devoted a large amount of space and graphics to the meet, despite the difficulties of covering an event that mostly takes place in the early-morning hours stateside.

Peyton Manning'll Kill A Snitch

The Super Bowl MVP hosted Saturday Night Live last night and showed his softer side in this United Way spot:

Why Is This Not A Technical?


When Greg Oden has an uncontested dunk, he tends to viciously throw-down with two hands and pull himself up on the rim for no reason other than intimidation. It's not hanging on the rim, per se, but it certainly is in violation of NCAA Basketball rule 10.13 which states a technical foul should be assessed for "grasping a basket in an excessive, emphatic manner when the player is not trying to prevent an obvious injury to himself or others". Between this and his intentional shoves, what will it take for Oden to get called for a tech, getting his goose on with Maurice Clarett during TV timeouts?

Chalk

* I'm glad it took CBS two-and-a-half hours to notice that Jeff Green travelled on his game-winning shot against Vanderbilt. Way to be on top of it, guys. Following this timetable, Seth Davis won't be able to make a lame defense of the refs until 3 a.m. EDT. (Not that I'm complaining about the call, mind you. Frankly, the officials were unbelievably inconsistent with their charging calls tonight so they probably owed G'Town a few.)

* Kobe sure does have awful timing with his history-making. His current 50-point run comes in the middle of the NCAA Tournament, when the NBA is as far off the radar as the NHL. And his 81-point outburst last season came late on the night of the NFL Conference Championship Games.

* Speaking of timing, nice technical foul, Tim Floyd. Who throws small pieces of paper on the floor outside of a racetrack? Needless to say, O.J. Mayo won't be happy about this. (That was a lame foul call, though. Moving screens happen all the time and never get whistled.)

Gary Walters For President!

Why is the NCAA Selection Committee earning praise for the dominanace of the favorites in this year's Tournament. I've heard some variation of, "I guess all the chalk in this Tournament vindicates the committee" a number of times this week and, I have to say, it doesn't make any sense.
Was it really so hard to put Florida, Kansas, North Carolina and Ohio State in as #1 seeds? And have their ever been so many clearcut #2 seeds either? The least-difficult part of this Tournament was seeding the good teams. Just because the commitee didn't screw it up doesn't mean they need to be congratulated. Have they really set the bar so low for themselves that we are surprised when they are able to accomplish simple tasks without tripping over their own feet?
The committee didn't miss all those shots for Davidson. The committee didn't stink up the joint for Holy Cross. In actuality, the committee's inability to accurately seed the mid-range teams is why there's been so much chalk this March.
Old Dominion and Creighton were slotted against other mid-majors. Long Beach State was one of the worst #12 seeds in history. Albany was a brutal #13 seed. (Ken Pomeroy said that the UVA/Albany game was the first #7 vs. #15 game in first-round history.) And, most importantly, Stanford, Illinois and Arkansas were all given at-large bids and then proceeded to wet the bed in front of a national TV audience. But let's forget about that because we happen to have two #1/#2 matchups in the Elite Eight.

Friday Picks
East
#1 North Carolina over #5 USC
#2 Georgetown over #6 Vanderbilt

Midwest
#1 Florida over #5 Butler
#7 UNLV over #3 Oregon

I picked Oregon to go to the Final Four (on this site, at least), but there has to be an upset tonight (doesn't there?) and the Ducks are the most likely candidate. If I had the stones, I'd pick against Florida. But, all in good time. Hold on, though. UNLV barely beat Georgia Tech and the Pac 10 has proven me wrong all Tournament. Let me try this again.

Friday Picks
East
#1 North Carolina over #5 USC
#2 Georgetown over #6 Vanderbilt

Midwest
#1 Florida over #5 Butler
#3 Oregon over #7 UNLV

Ahh, chalk. You know, the selection committee did a really good job of putting together this Tournament.

Oh, What A Night II

What a great set of games last night, with only the UCLA/Pitt game (predictably) disappointing. Kansas shot 62% yet scored only 61 points in their close win over a game Southern Illinois. Memphis did their best Ohio State impersonation and took advantage of bad reffing and coaching to beat Texas A&M. And the aforementioned Buckeyes made a furious second half comeback and won a slugfest with Tennessee. This is the second straight year the Thursday Sweet 16 games have been thrillers. Thoughts on last night's action:

* As he was racing down the court with the clock running down, it was clear Tennessee guard Ramar Smith had no intention of giving the ball up. First off, his name is Ramar. Second, he just had that "I want to be the hero" look in his eyes. It's tough to argue with Smith, as he as 7-11 on the night, but Chris Lofton has to be involved in the final play in some way. The real problem was, Smith didn't look for anyone else the entire time. OSU was playing solid defense, but if Smith had looked around he could have seen a wide open Wayne Chism trailing on the wing. I don't mind Bruce Pearl letting his team go, but you'd think he could have come up with a better play after his mid-FT timeout.

*In between playing the role of Southern Illinois Booster #2, Jay Bilas actually made a halfway-decent point. I know, it startled me too. He said Kansas might be feeling more pressure against a mid-major like SIU because of the expectation that they should win the game. Put KU in a contest against Texas or Florida and they'll be fine, Bilas contends. If true, this would support the notion that Bill Self might be a great recruiter and basketball coach, but lacks in the motivation department.
As for the SIU Booster thing, Bilas was all over the Salukis' jock tonight. He repeatedly harped on two calls that when KU's way (two missed shot clock calls that both went Kansas' way), but then when an SIU player clearly charged in the lane said, "I don't want to hear about that call." And I don't want to hear about that time you went to the Final Four in 1986, Jay, but that doesn't stop you from telling it 40 times per season.

* I root for Kansas. Not in the same way I pull for Wake Forest or Maryland, mind you, but my Godfather instilled some Jayhawk-love in me at an early age and I've always cheered on his team as a result.
When Roy Williams bolted Lawrence for Chapel Hill I was disappointed, but was even more bummed out when KU hired Bill Self as his replacement. I wasn't a fan of Self during his time at Illinois, but gave him the benefit of the doubt upon his arrival at Kansas.
As KU went down to Southern Illinois early in the second half last night, I decided to write a lengthy rip of Self, in the hopes that the assumption of a Kansas loss would jinx Southern Illinois, leading to a Kansas win. The way I looked at it, if Kansas won, I'd be happy. And if Kansas lost, I'd have a ready-made rip of Bill Self up on the site before the teams even walked off the court. After getting some karma approval on this matter, I began my critique. And by critique I mean hatchet-job. Almost instantly, Kansas got out of their funk and took the lead. And I'm taking full credit. Full.

* Seth Davis must be doing pretty well for himself. In addition to collecting paychecks from CBS, Sports Illustrated and Mike Krzyzewski, Davis seems to be on the NCAA's payroll as well. How else to explain his repeated defense of referees this March? First, the ex-Dukie was praising the officials for not calling a flagrant foul on Greg Oden late in the Xavier game. Really, Seth? People have been charged with assault for less than what Oden did. I heard the AARP revoked his privileges after the foul.
Then, last night, after initially (and correctly) ripping the Memphis/A&M refs for inexplicably taking 1.1 seconds off the clock at the end of the game, Davis reversed course and took it back during halftime of Tenneseee/OSU. First of all, even if the ball didn't hit John Calipari (which it might have), there's no way 1.1 seconds elapsed from the time the Memphis player touched the ball to the time it hit the scorer's table. (The NCAA Rule Book is quite ambiguous about when the ball is officially considered OB. In one section, it claims the ball has to hit an object. In another, it seems to suggest that if nobody is pursuing it, the ref can blow the whistle. Oh, and there's a guy on the rules committee named Dick Hack.)

* On the other hand, Texas A&M missed an absolute gimmie of a layup with 45 seconds left and then let Memphis get four straight offensive rebounds after missed shots in the final seconds. If the Aggies could have pulled down one of those rebounds, they wouldn't have needed those 1.1 seconds back.

* One thing that has impressed me during this Tournament is the moxie of teams that have given up big leads. Normally, when a team gets ahead by double-digits and then gives up the lead late in the second half, they end up losing. It always seems that once a team makes a big run to get back in the game, it's tough to keep them from continuing that run until the game is out of reach.
During this Tournament a fair number of teams have seen their leads disappear, only to build them back up. Winthrop did it against Notre Dame, UNLV held off Georgia Tech and, tonight, Tennessee hung tough after OSU eradicated a 20-point margin in a matter of minutes.
After the Buckeyes made their furious second-half comeback, the Vols managed to hold on to a slim lead, but eventually saw Ohio State go ahead with 8:00 left. Instead of rolling over, they started hitting threes like they did at the beginning of the game and took the #1 seed down to the wire. Their resiliance was the most impressed I've been all Tournament.

* One of my favorite parts of the NCAA Tournament are the Masters promos CBS runs. (I once concocted a plan to carry a boombox around everywhere I went so I could walk into a room, pause at the doorway and play the last six notes of The Masters theme before I entered. It never happened, but it would have been pretty awesome.) Sadly, the Tiffany Network has stopped showing my all-time favorite, taken from the end of the 1998 Tournament.
On Mark O'Meara's final, Masters-winning putt, there's a ground level shot taken from behind O'Meara. As he strikes the ball, the greenside gallery stands in unision. One young gentleman apparently got bunched the wrong way as he stood up and proceeds to adjust himself as the putt is rolling. And when I say 'adjust', I mean this dude is going to town, right in the middle of the shot. It's not like it's tough to see either. He's standing right above the hole and is only one of three or four people you can see in the fairly tight camera shot. Nobody I've shown this to had ever seen it before, but once they do, they can see noting but.
I noticed this in 1999 and have mentioned it to everyone that has ever watched the NCAA Tournament with me since. I cannot describe how hilarious the juxtaposition of the piano playing the Masters theme is with a guy scratching his junk as one of the most famous putts in Masters history rolls in. Shame on you, for ruining my March, CBS. Shame on you.

My Super Sweet 16


# 16

- UNLV
In

his rankings of the remaining teams, ESPN.com resident doofus Gene Wojciechowski placed

UNLV

as the fifth-best remaining team, writing:

Of the remaining field, no team has b

eaten

a higher seed in the first round (No. 10 Georgia Tech) or in the second round (No. 2 Wisconsin). That doesn't mean they're going to beat Oregon on Friday

night in St. Louis, but it does mean the selection com

mittee totally underestimated Vegas.

Or it could mean that the selection committee totally overestimated Wisconsin. There's a reason nobody picked the Badgers to go to the Final Four. And if Georgia Tech hadn't played like spastic pre-teens in the first round, we'd likely be reading about how the selection committee underestimated them.

#15 - Butler
After Butler's win over Maryland on Saturday, the most commonly heard theme was "yeah, but the Terps are a better team." It's always easy to play that game, especially in the Tournament when teams are seeded according to ability (at least in theory). Any time a lower-seed wins a game, it's an easy move to say that the losing team was more talented but didn't play well, or the underdog played an amazing game, etc. However, in the case of Maryland/Butler, the comment is actually legit. Maryland is a better team and played pretty well; in fact, I'm still a little unsure of how they ended up losing.
The Terps had a higher field goal percentage, grabbed more rebounds, shot well from beyond the arc and had a fairly-balanced offensive attack. They forced Butler into more turnovers than usual while giving it up close to their own season average. The only statistical fact you can look at and figure out Maryland struggled was their poor free throw shooting. Still, Gary Williams' team didn't go inside enough and never made the run they needed to regain the lead from the feisty Bulldogs.

#14 - Pittsburgh
If Aaron Gray were any stiffer he'd be starring in an off-off-Broadway version of Weekend at Bernie's.

#13 - Vanderbilt
One can't fault Vandy for taking advantage of their easy draw, but one can try. (I mean, come on... They played George Washington in the first round in a 6/11 game? GW was a #8 seed last year when they went 26-2. This year, with six more losses and an RPI 44 spots lower, they were an #11. And don't get me started on Washington State. I'd call them a paper champion, but then they'd probably go out and lose to rock, as scissors stands idly by.)

#12 - Southern Illinois
Logic dictates that the Saukis' reward for another fine season will be a drubbing at the hands of Kansas. Of course, everyone said the same thing last year about George Mason before they went and played UConn.

#11 - Memphis
This is a tenative ranking, based on the injury to star Chris Douglas-Roberts. Memphis is the great unknown of this Tournament, but not in a cool or mysterious way like the cosmos are.

#10 - Oregon
Yesterday's Washington Post ran an eerie graphic comparing Oregon to last year's championship-winning Florida team. Both were unranked to start the year, had a comparable won/loss record, a three-game losing streak near the end of the season, won their conference tournaments and earned a #3 seed in the NCAAs. The similarities are undeniable. They bear a striking resemblance to the careers of two Hollywood superstars, both of whom got their starts as a guest star on a popular network TV show, played the role of a troubled teen in their first big-time film, were teen heartthrobs to millions of young girls and starred in a movie with Tom Hanks. Their names? Leonardo DiCaprio and Corey Feldman.

#9 - Tennessee
I'm not ashamed to say I watch American Idol. OK, maybe a little. But there's this guy on the show this season named Blake who is, essentially, a pretty-boy, beatboxing hipster with too much product in his hair. His voice isn't all that good, but when he performs, he commands the stage with his inventive arrangements of classic songs. America seems captivated by him, which isn't surprising, as style always seems to win out over substance in our culture. I'm not saying Tennessee is the college basketball version of Blake, mainly because I don't think Bruce Pearl likes 311.

#8 - UCLA
It's tough to take a team seriously when they had to scratch out a victory against a Kelvin Sampson-coached team after leading 20-13 at halftime.

#7 - Ohio State
March 9: Xavier loses to Rhode Island in the Atlantic 10 Tournament.
March 17: Ohio State needs a miracle, as well as help from the officials, to beat Xavier.

#6 - Texas A&M
Acie Law IV is impressive, but call me when he ends communism like Rocky IV.

#5 - USC
Look, I'm not sold on USC either. But their absolute destruction of Kevin Durant and Texas was the most impressive showing during the Tournament's first weekend.
Also, read this unbelievable New York Times piece about the Trojans' "recruitment" of troubled high school star O.J. Mayo. The word "unbelievable" gets thrown around a lot when, most of the time, the thing being described is totally believable. In this case, however, the story is actually unbelievable. Read the whole thing.

#4 - Florida
The scariest thing about Florida right now is Joakim Noah's hair. Why does it seem like everyone in the MSM is afraid to call out the Gators for their weak performance last weekend? If not for Al Horford beasting it inside, Florida might have been knocked off by Purdue. The old "Florida will turn it on when they have to" chorus has been deafning, but people who buy that forget that UF has won exactly one close game in the past year, and that was to Mississippi State. The Gators know how to win when they're up big. But if they find themselves in a battle with a good team, flipping a switch won't be enough.

#3 - North Carolina
The Heels played well in front of the in-state crowd in Winston-Salem. The real test comes now for the team that was 4-4 on the road in the ACC.

#2 - Georgetown
Ohio State's "win" over Xavier has led to a lot of talk about how that sort of game is what propels teams to the National Championship. To which; not really. Geting bailed out by the refs and bad coaching makes not a champion. Georgetown's win over BC fits the bill though. The Hoyas played poorly for 35 minutes, watched their star have an off game and had the crowd turn on them (the pro-Carolina crowd was eager for a Georgetown loss, thus clearing the way for the Heels to Atlanta). And they still ended up shooting free throws in the final minute as BC tried to extend the game. Watch out for the Hoyas. (This means they're losing tomorrow to Vandy, of course.)

#1

- Kansas
The best team in the Tournament. While the Florida comparison seemed apt for Oregon, I think the Bill Self/Billy Donovan comparison works betters. Last year, Donovan was getting knocked around for losing in the Tournament so much. Self came into this March losing his first two NCAA games with KU, despite being highly seeded. His coaching is still KU's big question mark, but I'm sticking with them to win.

Thursday Picks
West
#1 Kansas over #4 Southern Illinois
#2 UCLA over #3 Pittsburgh

South
#5 Tennessee over #1 Ohio State
#3 Texas A&M over #2 Memphis

Dat's Only N Tha Mornin'

Been feeling a little rough these past few days. Every time I sit down to continue writing some NCAA Tournament Power Rankings entitled "My Super Sweet 16", I get about one sentence in before realizing that I'd rather be laying in my bed watching Iron Chef on DVR. Even if I keep feeling crappy, I'll have something up before tomorrow's games regardless. However, I can't promise it will be coherent.
Until then, here's an Internet blast from the past. It's quite possibly my favorite clip ever. Pay special attention to the part near the end where they demonstrate whistle tips by speeding away down the wrong side of the road and almost hit a parked car. It's gold, Jerry. Gold.

NCAA Tournament Thoughts

* Is Florida looking at another cakewalk to the Final Four? After blowing through one of the easiest draws in recent Tournament history last year, UF could luck-out again if UNLV defeats Oregon this Friday. I’m still standing by the “Florida will not win” prediction I’ve been making all year (especially if they keep starting slow), but losses by Maryland and Wisconsin certainly will make the Gators run to Atlanta a little easier.

* The ACC and Big Ten both have just one team in the Sweet 16. (If memory serves me correctly, this is the first time the ACC has had only one Sweet 16 rep in 27 years.) Don’t compare the two conferences though. Maryland lost in the final minutes to a solid Butler team, Virginia was a three-pointer away from forcing overtime with Tennessee and, well that’s it, ‘cause it’ll be a cold day in hell before I ever consider Boston College and Virginia Tech part of the ACC.
The Big Ten, on the other hand, is garbage. Ohio State would have lost if the refs had a pair, Wisconsin stunk up their arena twice, Purdue couldn’t capitalize on an off night for every Florida player not named Al Horford and Indiana… Please, children could be reading this. (I left out Michigan State because they played UNC very tough in what amounted to a home game for the Tar Heels).

* There are zero compelling match-ups in the Sweet 16. This doesn’t mean there won’t be some great games (who was expecting Duke/LSU to be a thriller at this time one year ago), but nothing that’s going to get anybody excited over the next three days. Memphis/Texas A&M figures to be fun, and the contrasts between Ohio State and Tennessee could make for a solid game. But UNLV/Oregon? Shouldn’t that game be on Fox Sports West at 11:00 p.m. Eastern? Pittsburgh/UCLA makes for good copy because of the Ben Howland thing, but Pitt has to be the most overrated team left in this Tournament. And UCLA played one of the more boring games of the Tourney against Indiana. The best-possible Elite Eight match-up would be UNC/Georgetown, which means one of those teams is definitely losing Friday night.

* Tennesee freshman Wayne Chism (right, on far left) wears his headband like it's a yarmulke. Just an observation.

* VCU coach Anthony Grant will become the next star of the college coaching ranks. Here’s hoping he doesn’t get lured to another program after this season (doubtful) and takes over for Skip Prosser after Wake Forest goes 5-11 in the ACC again next year. And can you believe that guy is 41? He looks young enough to be Greg Oden's son.

* Georgetown played terribly against Boston College, but still came away with a seven-point win. The big question mark about the Hoyas going into the Tournament was whether or not Jeff Green could save the day if Roy Hibbert was off. Interesting, then, that it was Hibbert who single-handedly led Georgetown to a win as Jeff Green struggled.

* Was very impressed with how easily Memphis can seemingly turn it on. They reminded me of Kansas in that regard. I’m really looking forward to their game with Texas A&M.

* What better way to quiet the skeptics who criticized your at-large worthiness than to get absolutely hammered by average teams in the first round. Way to go, Arkansas and Stanford. You did belong! This happens every year; Air Force and Seton Hall choked in ’06, Northern Iowa did it the year before. Sometimes a bubble team makes the most of the committee’s decision and makes a historic run (George Mason) or merely an impressive one (UAB in ’05), but those are few and far between. I’m not saying Syracuse deserved to be in this Tournament, but I know they wouldn’t have been down 26 to Louisville at halftime either.

* The poor showings by Arkansas and Stanford were expected, if not anticipated. The egg laid by Georgia Tech, on the other hand, came out of nowhere. Paul Hewitt teams always play hard, smart and controlled. The Tech that lost to UNLV on Friday looked like they’d been snorting Valium and Xanax before the game. Greg Oden’s beard showed more emotion this weekend.
If there was a loose ball, UNLV got to it. If there was a contested rebound, UNLV came down with it. The Runnin’ Rebels won the game despite shooting 19 of 60 from the field, including an 0-8 showing by Kevin Kruger, son of UNLV coach Lon Kruger. The younger Kruger looked like one of those coach’s kids in a rec league game who would wear #23 and shoot the ball every time he touched it. Whilst sucking.
UNLV was able to win because of the second, third and fourth opportunities Georgia Tech gave them on the offensive end. This sequence that occurred with the game tied at 59 and 1:40 remaining was a microcosm of the entire game:

2:07 UNLV Inbounds
1:40 Wendell White missed Two Point Jumper
1:40 Wendell White Offensive Rebound
1:21 Wendell White missed Two Point Jumper
1:21 Gaston Essengue Offensive Rebound
1:17 Jo’Van “Wink” Adams missed Three Point Jumper
1:17 Jo’Van “Wink” Adams Offensive Rebound
1:11 Wendell White made Two Point Layup

The Rebs had the ball for nearly one minute with the game tied and missed three potential go-ahead shots and got the rebound every time. After UNLV finally scored, Tech freshman Jarvis Crittenton was called for a five second call on the subsequent possession. It’s worth noting that I’ve watched over 100 college baketball games this season and have seen a five-second call once. And GT gets called for it with under 90 seconds left in an NCAA Tournament game when they’re down two points. I feel really bad for the idiots who were dumb enough to put Tech in the Final Four. Oh, wait... That was me.

* Don’t know what was worse: The Ohio State/Xavier refs not calling a flagrant foul on Greg Oden’s chest-butt or Seth Davis and Clark Kellogg defending said cupcake call. Oden intentionally fouled the Xavier player, didn’t make a play on the ball and knocked him so forcefully to the ground that said player was surely hurting on his free throws. It was an intentional/flagrant foul in every way. Just because the foul came at a critical juncture of the game doesn’t make it acceptable to swallow the whistle. I’d feel sorry for Xavier, but since they allowed Mike Conley to shoot his game-tying three instead of putting OSU on the line with under four seconds, they deserved everything they got.

* And what was with that guy on Xavier throwing up his end-of-regulation prayer with 1.6 seconds still on the clock? There were more pathetic late-game possessions than I’ve ever seen during these past four days. Some teams, like Xavier, were shooting with more-than-enough time still remaining, others were in-bounding the ball short with little time on the clock instead of trying to pass to half-court. Red Auerbach always said that the mark of a great coach is how his team performs on their final possession. If that’s the case, there’s a lot of crappy coaching going on around college basketball.

* A terrible charging call on D.J. Strawberry sealed Maryland’s fate against Butler, but to blame that, admittedly, horrendous foul on the Terps’ loss is to miss the bigger picture. Maryland was scoring at ease in the paint all game. Yet they were settling for 16-foot spot jumpers all afternoon instead of getting the ball inside. It seemed that Maryland got pulled into Butler’s slow-down, ball-control game and couldn’t force their tempo. (Another ACC school, Duke, also was forced to play their opponents game when they lost to VCU. Coach K let his team get drawn into a 94-foot battle instead of establishing his team’s half-court sets.)

* My buddy Antzo, talking to himself, as CBS showed a blimp shot of Columbus during his alma mater’s game against Southern Illinois: “I didn’t know Columbus was that big. Well, yes I did. They have an MLS soccer team.”

* Someone on ESPN just asked Digger Phelps if the lack of upsets in this Tournament signifies that the era of parity in college basketball is over. Good grief, as Charlie Brown might say. George Mason goes to the Final Four last year, and it’s a sign that the talent-gap has narrowed and the mid-majors are a force to be reckoned with in college basketball. Now, we go through a rare upset-less year and it’s supposed to be indicative of a larger trend. Well, it’s not. Weird things happen, as George Mason proved last year. Usually, they are the exceptions, not the rule. The statistical outliers, if you will. Just because VCU and Xavier didn’t hit one more free throw or Texas A&M-CC ran out of gas or Davidson couldn’t hit their threes doesn’t mean anything for the college basketball world, at-large. Don’t forget, there are highly-seeded teams from the Horizon League and Missouri Valley Conference still playing. The fact that nobody is surprised by this is actually the biggest surprise of all.

* I’ve stated this theory before but don’t revisit it often because I’m not sure if it’s counter-intuitive (like I initially thought), totally-intuitive or completely nonsensical. Here goes: When conventional wisdom says that there are only two or three teams that can win the Tournament, the Tournament is wide-open. When conventional wisdom says that the Tournament is wide-open, there are really only seven or eight teams that can win. This hypothesis is based on the theory that, with something as flukey as the NCAA Tournament, the likelihood of a small number of favorites slipping is qute high, whereas in a year of parity (like this one), the higher number of contenders favors the likelihood that one of them will emerge from the pack. Again, I’m not sure if this makes all that much sense, but there it is.
Some examples: In 2006 Duke, Connecticut and, maybe, Villanova were the only teams that were given realistic shots of cutting down the nets in Indy. None of them made the Final Four. In 2003, Kentucky and Arizona were, far and away, the biggest favorites going into the Tournament; so much so that the NCAA changed seeding rules because everyone was complaining about how the Wildcats (plural) would have met in the Final Four and not the National Championship. It was a moot point, as neither won their Regional Final.
Conversely, in 2004 there was a large group of teams that were expected to contend. Among them, the eventual champion Connecticut. Same as in 2002 when Maryland was a pre-Tournament favorite along with Kansas, Duke, Connecticut, Oklahoma, Arizona and Cincinnati.
The 2005 Tournament completely contradicts my point (as Illinois and UNC were the extreme favorites and ended up playing in the Final), so I’ll conveniently ignore it.

Xanadu

It's Like - Tsssssssst - Out.

After sitting throught the umpteenth showing of the newest Mellancamp "Our Country" ad for Chevy, I began hankering for the ghost of great Tournament commercials past; and my cousin Peter reminded me of one of my favorite commercials of all-time that happened to be in heavy rotation during the 2000 Tourney. I loved these ads so much I wrote an email to my uncle (who works at Marriott headquarters) and told him he needed to find a job with Holiday Inn.

The Tears of Unfathomable Sadness

NCAA Tournament Preview

The greatest day of the year is upon us. Enjoy.

Midwest
#1 Florida vs. #16 Jackson State
If Samuel L. Jackson was good enough to lend his name and money to a state university, you'd think he could have at least convinced Coach Carter to come in and run the show.
Pick: Florida

#8 Arizona vs. #9 Purdue
Purdue University was founded in 1869, thus making the school two years older than Lute Olsen.
Pick: Arizona

#5 Butler vs. #12 Old Dominion
The state title game in Hoosiers was filmed in Butler's home arena. Old Dominion's court recently hosted the Entrepreneurs Forum of Hampton Roads.
Pick: Butler

#4 Maryland vs. #13 Davidson
At Davidson, the university provides a free laundry service for all residents. At Maryland, students have to wash their own clothes, but I'm pretty sure John Gilchrist would do it for a nominal fee.
Pick: Davidson

#6 Notre Dame vs. #11 Winthrop
If Winthrop ends up winning this one, does that mean guard Torrell Martin moves ahead of Brady Quinn on everyone's draft board?
Pick: Notre Dame

#3 Oregon vs. #14 Miami (OH)
In an attempt to replicate the success Tennessee had against Florida after hearing a pre-game pep talk from Peyton Manning, Miami (OH) coach Charlie Coles will get alum Ben Roethlisberger to talk to his players before this contest. The RedHawk players will promptly get fat, complacent and go joyriding with Jay Williams and Kellen Winslow prior to tip-off.
Pick: Oregon

#7 UNLV vs. #10 Georgia Tech
In honor of these two teams' Final Four match-up from 1990, the Rebels and Jackets will wear short-shorts and cut their hair into hi-top fades. Richie The Fixer will serve as honorary captain.
Pick: Georgia Tech

#2 Wisconsin vs. #15 Texas A&M-Corpus Christi
With an ampersand and hyphen already prominent, Texas A&M-Corpus Christi will attempt to get even more non-letter characters into its name by calling itself:T èxäs @&M-Cørpu$-C#r1sti.
Pick: Wisconsin

Second Round
#1 Florida over #8 Arizona
#5 Butler over #13 Davidson
#3 Oregon over #6 Notre Dame
#10 Georgia Tech over #2 Wisconsin

Regional Semifinal
#1 Florida over #5 Butler
#3 Oregon over #10 Georgia Tech

Midwest Regional Final
#3 Oregon over #1 Florida

If I had to bet my life on which team will make it out of the Midwest, Florida would be the easy choice. But since nearly 80% of people are picking the Gators to make the Final Four (according to ESPN.com "National Bracket"), Oregon is a nice little risk-reward play. My skepticism of Florida has been well-documented on this site, however, they are still the team to beat. The warning signs are all there - they weren't that good last year, they've only played three ranked teams all season, they start slow and they're way too overconfident. You'll notice that none of those had to do with fundamental basketball, which is why the committee bestowed Billy Donovan's crew with the #1 overall seed.
I have a few early upsets in this region, highlighted by Davidson over Maryland.
Gary Williams is good at many things, but getting his team up for games against inferior opponents is not one of them. Everyone remembers 2002 when it took a Drew Nicholas buzzer beater for the Terps to avoid becoming the first defending champ to get knocked off in the first round, but only slightly less well-known is this: Never get involved in a land war in Asia. And that in 2001, Maryland's first Final Four run was nearly derailed before it started. As a #3 seed that year, the Terps were the trendy pick to win the West. Yet they needed some late Juan Dixon-heroics to knock off #14 George Mason, a team led by a 30-year old Gulf War vet named George Evans. These Terps are talented enough to make some noise in this region, but they need to handle Dell Curry's son and Davidson first.
The toughest pick of my entire bracket was Georgia Tech/Oregon. As much as I wanted to pick the Yellow Jackets, the thought of having my entire pool decimated by midday tomorrow (if UNLV beats Tech) was too great a fear. I also gave a lot of thought to moving Notre Dame far out in the bracket. Well, not a lot.

West
#1 Kansas vs. #16 Niagara
Former Kansas player Wilt Chamberlin claimed he slept with 20,000 women during his life. And former Niagra player Calvin Murphy slept with all their daughters.
Pick: Kansas

#8 Kentucky vs. #9 Villanova
Villanova won their famous 1985 National Championship on Kentucky's home court, Rupp Arena. Legend has it that after the lights go down and everyone leaves, you can still hear Gary McLain blowing lines off of the bathroom sink.
Pick: Villanova

#5 Virginia Tech vs. #12 Illinois
In an attempt to get as much alumni viewership as possible, Virginia Tech officials asked the NCAA to schedule this game for Friday evening, as all state prisons in the state only grant television privileges on weekend nights.
Pick: Virginia Tech

#4 Southern Illinois vs. #13 Holy Cross
This Michael J. Fox shot from Teen Wolf works on two levels. 1) The Wolfman once picked Southern Illinois to go to the Elite Eight. 2) Holy Cross beat Bucknell in the Patriot League Finals and a Bucknell grad sent me an angry email yesterday asking why I put a shot of MJF from Back to the Future on the site to accompany a sentence about Teen Wolf. OK, maybe it worked on no levels.
Pick: Southern Illinois

#6 Duke vs. #11 VCU
I tried hard to justify picking against Duke, but it's tough when they're playing a team whose preferred university acronym sounds like something J.J. Redick contracted during his last visit to Thailand.
Pick: Duke

#3 Pittsburgh vs. #14 Wright State
The five most-likely states where Wright State is located: 1) Indiana, 2) Iowa, 3) Ohio, 4) Missouri, 5) New South Wales. I suppose this information would be easy to ascertain, but that would assume I actually cared.
Pick: Pittsburgh

#7 Indiana vs. #10 Gonzaga
There's some bad blood in this game, as after Gonzaga F Josh Heytvelt was suspended for marijuana and mushroom possession, Kelvin Sampson immediately began recruiting him.
Pick: Gonzaga

#2 UCLA vs. #15 Weber State
Haorld Arceneaux isn't walking through that door.
Pick: UCLA

Second Round
#1 Kansas over #9 Villanova
#4 Southern Illinois over #5 Virginia Tech
#6 Duke over #3 Pittsburgh
#2 UCLA over #10 Gonzaga

Regional Semifinal
#1 Kansas over #4 Southern Illinois
#2 UCLA over #6 Duke

West Regional Final
#1 Kansas over #2 UCLA

If Bill Self doesn't lead Kansas to the Final Four, the whispers will begin about whether he has the chops to get it done in Lawrence. KU has been upset in the first round the past two seasons under Self. Anything short of Atlanta will be considered a major disappointment. Kansas seems like as close to a sure thing as there is, which is amazing considering how poorly they've performed in the Tournament under Self. Of course, people (OK, me) were knocking Billy Donovan for the same thing last year.
The Jayhawks' biggest obstacle could come in the second game against Villanova, a solid team with veteran leadership (Mike Nardi and a finally-healthy Curtis Sumpter) and exciting young scorers (Scottie Reynolds and Dante Cunningham).
Virginia Tech is one of the more maddening teams to predict in this Tournament. They lost three times this season to N.C. State, yet swept North Carolina. Illinois probably doesn't deserve to be in the NCAAs, so the Hokies should have an easy time there. A rematch with Southern Illinois in the second round would be one of the more interesting battles of the weekend, with VaTech hoping to avenge an early-season loss.
On the lower end of the bracket; who cares. Duke isn't going any further than the Sweet 16 (if they make it that far), Pitt wet the bed in the Big East Final and might not recover and Indiana is coached by Kelvin Sampson. UCLA should breeze, even if they aren't as good as they were last season.

East
#1 North Carolina vs. #16 Eastern Kentucky
Remember that Curb Your Enthusiasm when Larry saw a bunch of kids with shaved heads at the local school and, when he questioned this, was told they had done so as a sign of solidarity with their friend who had cancer? UNC's basketball team should do the same thing for Tyler Hansbrough and show up at this game all looking like ostriches.
Pick: North Carolina

#8 Marquette vs. #9 Michigan State
This is a definite contender for "Game I'll Be Watching And Will Automatically Assume I Picked Whichever Team Is Winning, Then Be Surprised Later When I Realize I Picked The Losing Team."
Pick: Marquette

#5 USC vs. #12 Arkansas
So far this year, prep star and USC-bound O.J. Mayo has made contact with an official and been arrested for marijuana possession. Dude named O.J.. Southern California. Rage problem. Criminal record. Yeah, this is going to turn out well.
Pick: USC

#4 Texas vs. #13 New Mexico State
If Kevin Durant's NBA career doesn't pan out, I'm sure Reggie Theus can get him a gig as an extra in the long-awaited feature-film adaptation of Hang Time.

Pick: Texas

#6 Vanderbilt vs. #11 George Washington
George Washington recently became the first college in the country to top $50,000 in yearly tuition. This means the only people who can afford to go there are the privileged and basketball players recruited by Kelvin Sampson.
Pick: Vanderbilt

#3 Washington State vs. #14 Oral Roberts
This week, an elderly Oral Roberts received a good-luck phone call from a person identifying himself as God. Turns out it was just Ryan Leaf though.
Pick: Oral Roberts

#7 Boston College vs. #10 Texas Tech
Boston College's season has been on life support longer than Britney Spears' career.
Pick: Texas Tech

#2 Georgetown vs. #15 Belmont
Over/under on when Seth Davis first breaks out the phrase "Hoya Paranoia": Thursday, 4:42 p.m.
Pick: Georgetown

Second Round
#1 North Carolina over #8 Marquette
#4 Texas over #5 USC
#6 Vanderbilt over #14 Oral Roberts
#2 Georgetown over #10 Texas Tech

Regional Semifinal
#1 North Carolina over #4 Texas
#2 Georgetown over #10 Texas Tech

East Regional Final
#2 Georgetown over #1 North Carolina

UNC will breeze into a Sweet 16 super-showdown with Texas after two de-facto home games in Winston-Salem. Kevin Durant has been good enough to counteract Rick Barnes this year, but he'll have to step up his already-transcendent game in the Tournament, as Barnes will doubtlessly be ramping up his mediocrity for the big stage. It's been fashionable to pick against UNC in that potential match-up, but one can never underestimate the sheer lacklusterness that is Rick Barnes.
Georgetown breezes through to the Meadowlands, wins a game against a team other than Washington State and then knocks off UNC if Roy Hibbert can stay out of early foul trouble. Everyone expects Kevin Durant to be the star of this region, but the Hoyas' Jeff Green will burst onto the national scene and steal the show.

South
#1 Ohio State vs. #16 Central Connecticut State
In terms of land area, Greg Oden is 35% larger than Central Connecticut.
Pick: Ohio State

#8 BYU vs. #9 Xavier
Fathers, lock up your daughters: The Mormons and Jesuits are coming to town.
Pick: Xavier

#5 Tennessee vs. #12 Long Beach State
A battle of the hometown universities of Al Gore and Snoop Dogg, respectively. No matter the result, at least they'll be able to agree on one thing: Going green.
Pick: Tennessee

#4 Virginia vs. #13 Albany
Albany's school motto is Sapientia et sua et docendi causa. Roughly translated, it means, "give the points".
Pick: Virginia

#6 Louisville vs. #11 Stanford
Rick Pitino's hair has an MBA from the Stanford School of Business.
Pick: Louisville

#3 Texas A&M vs. #14 Penn
I have a weird feeling about this game, but that could just be the clams casino I had for lunch.
Pick: Texas A&M

#7 Nevada vs. #10 Creighton
It seems like Nick Fazekas has been playing college basketball for ten years, which would make him just slightly older than Greg Oden's beard.
Pick: Nevada

#2 Memphis vs. #15 North Texas
I preferred Memphis when it went by Memphis State and North Texas when it was called Mexico.
Pick: Memphis

Second Round
#1 Ohio State over #9 Xavier
#5 Tennessee over #4 Virginia
#6 Louisville over #3 Texas A&M
#7 Nevada over #2 Memphis

Regional Semifinal
#1 Ohio State over #5 Tennessee
#6 Louisville over #7 Nevada

South Regional Final
#6 Louisville over #1 Ohio State

If this bracket were any more boring, it'd have subtitles.

Final Four
#1 Kansas over #3 Oregon
#2 Georgetown over #6 Louisville

2007 National Final
#1 Kansas vs. #2 Georgetown
Let's go back to what I wrote on November 16:
Take a look at the Final Four predictions made by the "experts" at ESPN.com. Notice anything interesting? (Besides Dick Vitale's picture, which looks oddly like an icon from Biblical times.) Perhaps that none of the 36 predicted teams come from outside the preseason top 13? (And without Fran Fraschilla's sort-of-ballsy pick of Texas A&M, it would have been top 11.) Way to go out on a limb, [insert pop-culture reference of somebody cautious].
Essentially, these guys were listing their top-four teams, which is a whole lot different than picking a Final Four. I'm not going to argue that Florida, UNC and Kansas are the top three teams in the nation right now (even with the Jayhawks' shocking loss to Oral Roberts last night.) But what are the odds of all three of them making the Final Four? One-in-a-hundred? Maybe less? Remember, none of the preseason top eighteen made the Final Four last year. (Granted, it was a flukey Tournament). 2005, however, had a Final Four made up of two #1 seeds and a #4 and #5. They were ranked #4, #5, #13 and #14 before the year. In 2004 the top-two preseason teams actually met in the Final Four while, on the other side of the bracket, the #25 preseason team was facing a school that received exactly zero votes in the inagural poll (Georgia Tech). (That was some painful research right there. Seeing those 04/05 preseason rankings with Wake Forest at #2 was definitely the most depressing thing I've seen all week.)
The point is, teams come out of nowhere to make the Final Four. So the least those ESPN chumps could have done was make at least one left-field pick. Just one! I'm not asking for much!
The teams I selected aren't my top four teams because the top four teams never make it. Maybe three of top six have a shot, but there's usually one squad with a #3 or #4 seed that makes a run. It's science. That's why I have the two prohibitive favorites (Kansas and UNC) joined by Georgetown and Michigan. Why the Wolverines? Because they were on the cusp of making the Tournament last year and didn't lose any big stars. Would I put money on them? No. But at least I went out there and made a ridiculous pick instead of throwing in Arizona and Wisconsin.
In the finals, I have Kansas playing Georgetown. Earlier today I thought about moving KU out of my projected Final because of the loss to Oral Roberts, but then it hit me: Bill Self's Jayhawk teams usually lose to a less-talented school from a small conference in March. This time, maybe they got it out of their system early and will run the table in the Tournament with that loss out of the way, which is why the Kansas Jayhawks are Chris's Sports Blog pick to win the 2007 NCAA Men's Basketball Championship.

Even More Bracket Thoughts

* Of all the intangible qualities a team "needs" to have in order to win the NCAA Tournament, experience and "knowing how to win in March" are the most overrated. Duke entered last year's Tourney with the most experience of any contender, and they were a #1 seed to boot. Yet, they ended up losing to a team centered around two freshman. The eventual champion, Florida, was made up of sophomores and a junior who had never seen the second weekend of the Tournament.
Since 2000, only one NCAA champion made it to the Elite Eight in the year before their title (Maryland; Final Four in 2001, Champion in 2002).
This doesn't mean Florida's past Tournament experience will be a hindrance, it just suggests that they shouldn't be sizing their index fingers for rings quite yet.
Florida isn't at all like the last team to repeat, Duke in 1992. Those hatable Dukies were Final Four veterans during their first title run, which saw them score one of the biggest upsets in Final Four history when they knocked off undefeated, and defending champion UNLV. The next year, Duke returned all of its stars from the '91 champs, yet still needed a miracle shot from Christian Laettner just to return to the Final Four.
The Gators, on the other hand, burst onto the scene last March after a non-descript regular season and took advantage of one of the easiest draws in Tournament history to get their title (Florida played just one team seeded higher than #7 on their way to the Final). This year, they looked disinterested at times and seemed confident in their ability to turn it on in March.
Maybe they can. Or maybe Billy Donovan's club is ill-prepared for what lies ahead.
Florida doesn't play too many close games, something that could be an issue if they actually have to face a highly-seeded team in their bracket. With all the pundits continuing to massage the already-lofty egos of Noah, Green, Horford and Co., I wouldn't be surprised if th Gators are in for a rude awakening over the next two weeks.

* Wait, Jim Boeheim says to expand the Tournament and the NCAA dares defy him by keeping the field stuck at 65? The nerve of them! It's not like Boeheim has any ulterior motive by promoting Tournament-growth. I fully trust that if Norv Turner publicly stated that the NFL should expand their playoff field, Roger Goodell would issue a memo making such a decree instantaneously!

* Been busy working on tomorrow's comprehensive preview, so this is all I got for today. Come back Thursday morning for my picks for all 63 games.

How To Fill Out An NCAA Tournament Bracket

Opinions on how to fill out your NCAA brackets are like embarrassing drunken stories – everybody, except the Amish, has one.
The problem with bracket tips is that everyone claims to be an expert because they’ve read a one-paragraph summary of Weber State’s season in their local newspaper and learned about Nick Fazekas from ESPN’s Bracketology special. Everybody has can’t-miss teams and potential sleepers today, but by Friday they’ll have all forgotten about them and will already be on another bandwagon.
In reality, nobody can predict the NCAA Tournament with any real degree of accuracy and that’s what makes the thing so damn fun.
To be successful with your brackets you don’t need to read every single statistic and analyze game-film, you just need to combine a little bit of knowledge with a little bit of analysis and then hope you step in a big pile of lucky.
Go on any one of the three major sports sites on the Internet (ESPN, SI and Sportsline) and you’ll be deluged with information ranging from the size of Old Dominion’s center to the three-point percentage of Virginia’s backcourt to how smart Jay Bilas wants us to think he is. Just like with any piece of info, you’ll be able to skew the data anyway you choose. If you want to believe that Wright St. can beat Pittsburgh, you’ll likely find a way to justify your prediction. If not, it won’t be difficult to rationalize selecting the Panthers instead.
Sifting through all the data, info, predictions, analysis and stories is a daunting task. How can you separate the good tips from the bad ones, the pertinent info from the worthless? You can’t, which is why you should keep your research to a minimum. Identify the best teams in the major conferences and at least three or four mid-major upstarts and go from there.
Listen to what experts have to say, but, as you’ve learned from an early age, don’t believe everything you read (or hear). This week everyone will say that there’s no way a #2 seed will lose in the 1st round this year (as if those monumental upsets are ever expected), or how Florida is a lock for the Final Four (just like Connecticut was last year).
One analyst will guarantee that North Carolina will come out of the East (the NCAA thankfully put a halt on calling regions by their location-name and has gone back to the old directional designations. For once, my stubbornness has managed to outlast a new, unwelcome change. Maybe this means the Wizards will go back to being the Bullets next season) and another will be just as sure that Georgetown will come out of that region.
But nobody really knows, and therein lies the beauty of March Madness: Anything can happen, and usually does.
A #2 seed could easily lose in the first round, it’s happened four times before. And there is no such thing as a lock for the Final Four as Duke has proven countless times over the past decade.
Did anybody think that Coppin State would beat South Carolina a few years back? How many people really predicted that Syracuse would cut the nets down in 2003? Last year’s stunning success story, George Mason, will be the proof of this rule for years to come.
Strange things happen in March, which is why it’s so hard to win a pool. If being knowledgeable about college basketball translated into NCAA pool success, then Digger Phelps and Andy Katz would predict all 63 of the games correctly. Instead, both analysts finished below my Dad on ESPN.com’s Tournament Challenge last year, and I’m pretty sure Pops still thinks Dean Smith is at UNC (if he knew Dean Smith existed at all).
It’s a cliché, but in so many office pools the secretary who has never watched college basketball and thinks that Gonzaga is the new Viagra competitor often wins.
Why? Because there is no right way to make your picks. I’ve watched a lot of college basketball this season, probably more than 95% of the people I will be competing against in various pools. Yet, I’ll probably finish up somewhere in the middle of the pack.
Why? Because the only thing predictable about the NCAA Tournament is its unpredictability.
And that’s what makes March Madness so wonderful. If each of the four top seeds advanced to the Final Four every season, filling out brackets and watching the 1st and 2nd round games wouldn’t be as fun. The one-and-done format of the Tournament lends itself to high drama, stunning upsets and intense pressure on every single possession. And that, in turn, makes filling out brackets an exercise in guesswork, at best.
With that word of warning, I now will offer some tips on how to have a great looking bracket on Thursday morning turn into a mediocre bracket by Thursday night.

Be wary of picking too many big upsets.
Me giving out this advice is like Britney Spears being the keynote speaker at an A.A. Convention, but this year I plan to tone down my upset zeal. Really, I do. (Note: This is the third straight year I’ve written that sentence.)
In years past I always picked a lot of shockers. (And not just Wichita State.) Sometimes it works; I remember the glorious run of the Kent State Golden Flashes to the Elite Eight in 2002 and basking in the praises of my peers for such a clairvoyant pick. But for every Kent State circa 2002 on my resume, there are about 40 Kent State 2006s, when the Golden Flashes were a #12 seed I thought would make a deep run, but ended up being out of the Tournament at 2:30 on the first Thursday. The Wolfman knows what I’m talking about; he had Southern Illinois in the Elite Eight back in ‘03. They lost in the first round.
You’re better off having a few upsets early (#12 over #5 has happened in 14 of the past 15 years) and then picking a sleeper team that falls in the #6 to #10 range to make it to the Sweet 16, (like Utah and Texas Tech last year) but nothing more than that.
Look at it this way: If you pick a big upset and it doesn’t pan out, you’re brackets will be crippled. If the upset does happen, it won’t kill you since nobody else in your pool is likely to pick it anyway. Remember, nobody had George Mason in the Final Four last year either.
Keep the upsets to a minimum and choose your Sweet 16 teams carefully, peppering in a #7 or #10 seed (at least one #2 seed has been upset in the second-round in every Tournament since 1996) along with a mostly chalk bracket. This leads me to the next tip…

In the later rounds, ignore seedings
#3 Washington State is a fine team, but in a game against #4 Texas on a neutral floor, the Cougars would be a considerable underdog.
A handy rule is this: If the seeding difference is three or less, an upset it’s not, I must profess. (Sorry, I’m on a bit of a Dr. Seuss kick.)
Butler has been ranked higher than Maryland all season, yet some might consider it an upset if the Bulldogs win in that Sweet 16 match-up. In actuality, it will just be one good team beating another.
This is similar to the next rule:

Don’t be scared of picking numerical upsets, particularly in first round #8/#9 and #7/#10 games
A few years back Maryland, as a #5 seed, played College of Charleston (#12) in the first round. At the time Maryland was ranked #22 in the nation while Charleston was #14 in the polls. This is an extreme example (CoC won, mainly because Gary Williams spent the entire week complaining about the match-up), but oftentimes you’ll find #10 or #11 seeds who are more highly regarded than the #6 and #7 seeds they are playing.
One week ago, Louisville and Stanford were both bubble teams. Thursday, they’re set to meet in a 6/11 match-up. I’m no fan of the Cardinals, but their game with the Cardinal (sans plural – pretentious Californians) is probably more evenly matched than a lot of 8/9 and 7/10 games. Just because Seth Davis might consider a Stanford win to be a sizable upset, don’t fall into that trap. In fact, never trust anybody that went to Duke.

Pick three out of the four #1 seeds to make it to the Elite Eight
I almost retired this rule last year after a three-year layoff, but it came true again in ’06 so I’ll stick with it. Before that (from 1997 to 2003) there was only one year when less than three top seeds advanced to the final eight. As it is, you have to pick at least two #1’s to make it that far (in the 21 year history of the 64-team field, at least two #1 seeds have made it to the Elite Eight in every Tournament). But…

Don’t pick more than two #1 seeds to reach the Final Four
In only three of the 22 years that the 64-team field has existed have three #1 seeds made it all the way to the Final Four. Don’t let last year scare you away from picking none though; 2006 was the first time ever that a Final Four was ever played without a top seeded team.

Buck conventional wisdom
Let’s tie this tip into the last one. Wisconsin has suddenly become everyone’s favorite punching bag. Analysts aren’t even considering them for the Final Four, despite their lofty record and high ranking all season.
This is reminiscent of what happened to St. Joe’s two years ago. But, the Hawks showed they were worthy of their lofty ranking and came within a Jameer Nelson jumper of advancing to the Final Four.
Think of how much it will help your cause if you pick Wisconsin to go to the Final Four and they end up making it. You’ll have a huge advantage in your pool since everybody else probably will have them Florida, Oregon or Maryland.
It’s funny – if the Badgers were a #4 seed in this region and Florida, Oregon and Maryland were moved up a seed each, Wisconsin would likely be considered a sleeper. But because a lot of people are turned off by their high seed, Bo Ryan’s team is thought of as overrated.
That won’t matter once the ball is tipped. Wisconsin, despite their utterly boring style of basketball, has as good a chance as any to make it to Atlanta. If you pick them to make it, you could find yourself rolling in the dough Indecent Proposal-style in three short weeks.

Go out on a limb
I won $300 in a college football bowl pool last year because I picked Texas to beat USC in the Rose Bowl. Whether I really thought Texas would win or not was irrelevant. I figured the Longhorns were a better play, as most people were likely going to pick the Trojans. It worked, and I was able to spend $300 on Patron shots to keep warm one cold night in January.
Pick your Tournament the same way. Even if you think Floridais probably going to win, consider having another team beat them in the Finals. Think of it this way: If you pick the Gators, you'll probably be joined by at least 50% of the people in your pool. That means you have to have more Final Four teams, more Sweet 16 teams and more first-round wins than a whole bunch of people in order to win the pot. But if you take Georgetown to beat Florida in the Finals, that will probably be all it takes for you to bring in the dough, first-round results be damned. (Unless you live in the D.C. area, but we’ll get to that.)

But remember, conventional wisdom is also a good thing
The prohibitive favorites for the 2000, 2001, 2002 and 2004 Tournaments were Michigan State, Duke, Maryland and Connecticut, respectively. I don’t need to tell you who won those four tournaments.
In 2005, most analysts believed that North Carolina and Illinois were the two teams to beat and would likely meet in the NCAA Finals. They did.
Last year was all sorts of screwy, but don’t let that sway you (again, we’re getting to that.)
There’s a reason why Florida and Ohio State are big favorites this year: Because they are two of the best teams in Tournament.
My point: Don’t get cute with these picks. OSU is 30-3 for a reason. Florida didn’t win the National Title last season and sweep the SEC regular season by accident. They’re great teams. Even if you don’t believe in the invincibility of Florida (like me) or think that Ohio State’s lack of a go-to guy makes them vulnerable (like me), the first two rounds aren’t the time to test that theory. Play it safe and move those two to the Elite Eight, at the very least, even if you think Joakim Noah is the most overrated player in the history of college basketball and has the hair of a cafeteria worker. At that point, you can go nuts.

Put at least one sleeper into the Final Four
Along with the aforementioned Mr. Mason (#11), Michigan State (#5 seed) in 2005, Georgia Tech (#3 seed) in 2004, Syracuse and Marquette (both #3) in 2003, Indiana (#5) in 2002, Maryland (#3) in 2001 and North Carolina and Wisconsin (both #8) in 2000 are recent examples of Final Four sleepers. Maryland, Oregon, Southern Illinois, Texas and Louisville are just some of the middle-seeded teams with a good shot of playing in Atlanta. (Last year LSU was among the names listed in this section.)

Don’t poop pick where you eat
If you live in Washington D.C., don’t pick Maryland or Georgetown to win unless you’re ready to bet your mortgage on it. If you live in Eugene, avoid moving Oregon through your brackets. And if you live within a 90 mile radius of Notre Dame, for Holtz’s sake, pick Winthrop.
People are homers. They pick what they like and what they know. This is why Applebee’s is still in business despite serving the nastiest food this side of an Arby’s.
To double your fun, pick against your hometown team very early; if only to get the guy who runs your pool really mad at you.

Beware of trendy picks
Trendiness is for suckers, Sarah-Jessica Parker, girls that live in New York and have MySpace pages that consist solely of them looking trampy at upscale clubs. I have been espousing the virtues of a unique offshoot of anti-trend philosophy since I began this blog three years ago, and my theory is nearly always proven correct. Beware of the bandwagon. It, like Phil Spector, will kill you. But only one will produce the brilliant Ronnettes tune, “Walking in the Rain”.
The NCAA Tournament is a little different. Trendy teams tend to be highly seeded, and I’m obviously not going to tell you to stay away from the pocket square of the basketball world, Florida (by the way, my mom has a picture of me rocking the pocket square when I was four. Now Rick Reilly wears it in his goofy ad for SI.com and I can’t pop one in my breast pocket without looking like a tool). Anyway, try to avoid mid-seeded teams that a lot of people are picking to advance far.
Texas A&M comes to mind, even though Acie Law is kind of nasty. Maryland is also getting a lot of hype for a team that lost to Miami twice this season, so beware.

Don’t read anything into the conference tournament losses
The only thing conference tournaments are good for is determining who is hot and giving teams that don’t win the National Championship a reason to be happy. (When a good team, a la North Carolina, wins the ACC Tournament, its fans will say, “that’s great, but all we want is the National Championship. In two weeks after Kevin Durant drops 37 and 20 while wearing a Tyler Hansbrough mask, those same Tar Heel fans will be bragging about their ACC Tourney win. And they’ll probably be wearing Crokies too.
On the flip side, UCLA, Wisconsin, Maryland, Pittsburgh and Texas A&M all suffered tough losses in their respective conference tournaments, but won’t be any worse for the wear come Thursday. Except for Wisconsin. Because they’re really overrated. (It was nice to see Bill Simmons write, “the Big 10 is overrated” yesterday, seemingly of the belief that he was the first person to come to this conclusion. It’s sort of like saying, “you know, I think Paula Abdul might be on something,” while watching American Idol and thinking you’re the first person to realize this.

Ignore the polls and the RPI
If you want to look at numbers, check out a team’s defensive efficiency and their cheerleaders. The defensive efficiency will give you insight into a team’s true defensive ability, by removing pace of play factors from statistics and focusing on a team's per-possession average instead. Looking at the cheerleaders will allow you to look at the cheerleaders.

Under no circumstance should you ever listen to Dick Vitale
And put your garbage in a garbage can, people. I can’t stress that enough. Don’t just throw it out the window.

Beware of hyphenated schools
This is not applicable for this bracket since there’s only one hyphenated school (Texas A&M-Corpus Christi), but last year’s advice works in an everyday sense too:
Sure, Wisconsin-Milwaukee might look and sound like a great pick (“well, I love eating wheels of cheese and Laverne and Shirley was my favorite sitcom involving sexually-ambiguous female roommates, so that team MUST be good!”), especially considering their run last year, but think about all the hyphenated celebrities you loathe. These include the former Rebecca Romijn-Stamos (I wasn’t even married to John Stamos like her, yet I still have considered taking Uncle Jesse’s last name. Come to think of it, how great would it be if her name had been Rebecca Romijn-Katsapalous) and Jean-Jacques Rousseau (let’s just say that my Philosophy grade sophomore year would have benefited if Mr. Anti-Private Property had kept his frog-thoughts to himself).
I even dislike people with hyphenated names that I’m supposed to like, like Nik Caner-Medley. I remember the first time I saw that tall drink of water I thought to myself, “man, I would hate this guy so much if he went to Duke.” And then I saw Lee Melchionni for the first time and realized how right I was.

Don’t fall into the Mason Trap
I’ve said this a few times already, but I wanted to reiterate the point. The George Mason thing was an aberration, not a trend.

When in doubt, pick the team you like less
Let’s say I pick Duke to go the Final Four. Now, I don’t like Duke. Some might even go so far as to say that I hate Duke. Others would say that I believe, along with North Korea and Drew Rosenhaus’ office, Cameron Indoor Stadium is the most evil place on earth. A select few might venture a guess that if I had to choose between watching Duke win the Final Four or having my nose repeatedly hit by Gerald Henderson’s dirty forearm, I’d put my ENT’s number on speed dial.
But I digress. I don’t like Duke, but if I’m having a hard time figuring out whether to put Duke or Pittsburgh in the Sweet 16, I’ll pick Duke. That way, if those stuck-up, ref-baiting, dirty-playing preppies win, I can take consolation in the fact that it might end up winning me money. And if they lose, then I won’t be at all upset about losing money because it will mean that Jon Scheyer will cry himself to sleep on the shoulders of Greg Paulus, and knowing that makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.
Maybe Chris Carawell can send them a box of tissues when they lose, unless he’s not done crying about Duke’s 2000 loss to Florida. (A quick note: The day after that game (which was a Sweet 16 match-up) I went to visit a friend at Duke – I was a freshman at Wake Forest at the time. (And yes, I had a friend that went to Duke. I was in therapy for two years dealing with this, so I’d rather not go there.) Anyway, I borrowed my buddy’s Florida Basketball t-shirt and wore it to Durham and didn’t take it off for the entire weekend. (Note: I’m not a Florida fan, but was that weekend because anybody who beats Duke is cool with me.) Once on campus I would walk up to people, with my Florida t-shirt in full view, and ask how I could get Duke Final Four tickets or where I could buy a Duke Final Four hat. Other times I would run up to random people and, insinuating that I hadn’t seen the result, ask them if they knew the score of the game.
Amazingly, not one person said anything remotely creative or derogatory to me after my snide comments. Some even laughed. The worst I got were a few dirty looks and some mumbled comments as I walked away.
Now, if those Cameron Crazies were actually crazy, they would have chased me off campus, pocket protectors in tow. Instead I had the run of those losers for three days and they didn’t even break out a “how many national championships has Florida won?” comment. What a bunch of pansies. But I digress.)
This rule works also for teams you like also. I want Georgetown and Kansas to do well in the Tourney. Sure, it’d be sweet if they both made it to the Finals and I predicted they’d be there. But if I’m not sure, I’ll pick, say, Texas A&M and Florida instead.
So, if the Hoyas and Jayhawks make it to the Championship, I’ll be happy enough that it won’t matter if my brackets are screwed up. If they don’t, then I’ll still have a chance at winning some money. If I pick my favorite teams and they end up losing, then I’m doubly screwed.
Let’s call this the “Cut Your Losses” method.

Don’t pick more than one school without a state in its name to be in the Final Four
This means, if you have Butler, Pittsburgh, Memphis and Georgetown coming out of their respective regions, you better get back to work.
Most years the Final Four is dominated by schools with states in their name like Michigan State, Connecticut, Kentucky and North Carolina. In fact, Duke, Marquette, Syracuse, Stanford, Louisville and George Mason are the only non-state named schools to make the Final Four since 1992. I bet you don’t find that statistic on ESPN.com. Take that Joe Lunardi!

Don’t expect Boston College to be playing on the second weekend
Al Skinner-coached teams almost never advance past the second round. Unless we’re talking about appeals.

Avoid Indiana like the plague
Kelvin Sampson makes Marty Schottenheimer looks like Vince Lombardi.

Try not to get too cute with your picks
Yeah, its fun to pick Old Dominion over Butler because you look their root beer and it might be nice to put Penn in the Sweet 16 because you hooked up with a chick from there during Spring Break '89, but try to ignore those thoughts.
Picking upsets is overrated. Cinderella’s are great for the Tournament, but the clock always strikes midnight and if you’re stuck on the dance floor when your spiffy Sean Jean tux turns into that pit-stained Schweppes t-shirt you stole from a girl streaking the quad, you’re gonna lose your pool entry fee and all your self-respect if you let a red-headed, Syracuse-born Irishman win your pool (not that I’m bitter, Tim O).
Remember, it’s rare that a team seeded lower than #5 makes it to the Final Four (it’s happened only four times since 1992). So try to limit your upsets to the early rounds and don’t knock off any team you think has a good chance of advancing far.
If the mood to get sassy with your picks should strike you, try this method instead – fill in the teams you think will be in the Sweet 16 first. Then, work backwards and if you see an upset possibility in the first round, pick it.
For instance, if you think Texas is going to win its second round game regardless of whom they play, then consider taking Arkansas to beat USC. Since you have the Horns in the Sweet 16 anyway, you won’t lose too much if USC should win the first round game, but you’ll get a nice leg-up on the competition if the Razorbacks spring the upset. It’s a nice risk-reward play.
This is especially key in pools that reward upsets. Which leads me to the next tip…

Take a look at how your pool is being scored
Everybody has a different method for scoring. Some pools emphasize the Final Four so much that first round games are left relatively meaningless. In these pools, try to have as much of a chalk bracket as you can. In other pools, the points aren’t staggered nearly as much between the first Round and Final Four, so every game counts. In these, pick a few upsets and take a risk by advancing one of your sleeper teams to the Sweet 16. Other pools greatly emphasize upsets. When filling out brackets for this kind of pool, work backwards from the Sweet 16 like I suggested above. And if you’re in the kind of pool with filters and chlorinated water, make sure to wear floaties.

Pick a #1 seed to win the whole thing
In ten of the last 15 years, a number one seed has hoisted the Championship trophy on the first Monday in April. It didn’t happen last year, but has in five of the last eight Tournaments.

If you can't figure out a specific matchup
1) Compare the coaches. Example: North Carolina vs. Texas. Roy Williams vs. Rick Barnes. One has a ring, the other gets stopped in the airport by people who think he’s John Grisham. Need I say more?
2) The tougher the mascot, the tougher the team. This is also known as the “Scott Van Pelt Theory”. The SportsCenter anchor, and Maryland alum, says when in doubt, figure out which mascot would win in a no-holds barred brawl. Example: Nevada Wolf Pack vs. Creighton Blue Jays. A pack of wolves against a bird known for being blue. Not too difficult. But, if you are wavering, ask yourself this: Who would win in a fight; Michael J. Fox in Teen Wolf or Cito Gaston.
3) Ask yourself… What Would Uncle Jesse Do? Between Billy Donovan and Joakim Noah, I'm guessing Jesse Katsopolis would be a Florida man.
4) Look for signs. If you channel surf past HBO and see Wilford Brimley starring in Cocoon, you know the Penn Quakers are the pick over Texas. Maybe you open Sports Illustrated and read a story about the biggest NBA busts. If that’s the case, then Duke becomes your choice. And if your phone rings and it’s God calling to see if you want to meet Him for lunch at Taco Bell, then you best be riding Oral Roberts all the way to the promised land.

Don’t let your picks take away from your enjoyment of crazy upsets
If Central Connecticut State is up late on Ohio State and you have the Buckeyes winning the whole thing, you still have to root for CCSU even if it destroys your bracket. This is a law in 37 states and the District of Columbia. There’s nothing worse than not enjoying the celebration after a buzzer beater because you’re checking to see what it does to your brackets.

Avoid listening to any bracket tips from people in your pool
If those tips were any good, why would they be giving them to you? There's nothing worse than switching a pick because of a 'sure-fire' tip from a friend and then watching that team lose to your original winner.

To all four of my female readers, don’t listen to any advice from guys
We are a manipulative, repulsive and deceitful gender, and any tip you get from us will likely be geared towards one day seeing you naked.
When you ask Frank from Accounts Payable who he has in the West, here is the way the conversation will sound to you:

You - Who do you have winning North Carolina’s region?
Frank, from Accounts Payable - Well… (long pause)... Georgetown is alright, but I’m going with Texas. Their point guard is quick on the dribble and the way, um, Kevin Garnett runs screens can trip-up defenses that don’t like playing a triangle-and-two.
You - Wow, that's sounds great! You really know your basketball. (Touches Frank’s arm gently.) Thanks Frank.
Frank, from Accounts Payable - No problemo.

Now, here’s how the conversation plays out in Frank’s mind.

You - Who do you have winning Duke’s region?
Frank’s, from Accounts Payable, Inner-Monologue - Oooh, she's talking to me. And Tournament questions, no less. She needed a sports question, so she came to the most athletic guy in the office (adjusts cell-phone belt-clip). I don't blame her, I am studly (runs hand through thinning hair). I always knew she wanted me, but this confirms it… Bravo Frank, bravo you sly dog. You better do some laundry so you have clean underwear for later. And where did I put my going-out shirt? I hope it's not that crumpled up thing I saw in the hamper today. Shoot, I might have to buy some more Downey Wrinkle Release. And cat food. Oh crap, she’s waiting for an answer. Well, how should I play this? Do I act all aloof like I don’t care or dazzle her with my non-existent basketball knowledge? Well, she’ll never know if I’m just BS’ing her, so lets go with that.
Duke is alright, but I’m going with Kansas.
Oh crap, I don’t know any players on that team. Why couldn’t I have gone with Syracuse, I know Carmelo Anthony… Maybe it’s because an anagram of Texas is “At Sex”… Oooh, that’s a good one, Frank. Remember that one at lunch today. Oh damn, she’s still waiting. Just make something up.
Their point guard is quick off the dribble and the way...
DAMN! What’s that one guy’s name? The skinny guy. That hilarious sportswriter Bill Simmons always talks about him. First name is Kevin. Kevin Costner? No. Kevin Spacey? Crap. Um... Kevin… Kevin… Kevin Garnett!
…Kevin Garnett runs screens can trip-up defenses that don’t like playing a triangle-and-two.
WHEW! That was pretty good, I don’t know if that’s his real name though, but it’s do. Wait, Kevin Garnett is the dude The Sports Guy always compares this guy too. Hopefully she didn’t notice it. And thank goodness I played NBA Live with my roommate last week or else I never would have known that triangle-and-two stuff. I bet she’s impressed. She is smiling. Oh man, she so wants me. I definitely have to go gloat over in advertising. Alan's gonna flip when he finds out I'm gonna be hookin' up with (your name). OK, checklist for tonight: Barry White CD, wash my sheets, hide adult DVD’s, class up my fridge by replacing Natty Lite with Miller Lite. Ooh, that’s a good one. Frank, you handsome bastard, you are about to score. Act cool though. Act natural.
You - Well, that sounds good. Gently touches arm. Thanks Frank!
Frank’s, from Accounts Payable, Inner-Monologue – She touched my arm. SHE TOUCHED MY ARM! I’m marrying her. Just propose now. That’s clearly what she wants. No, hold off. Baby steps. Justt ask her out. She wants you to ask her out. ASK HER OUT DAMMIT. Who asks an NCAA question if they don't want a little Frank-lovin'. And remember three months ago when she asked to borrow white-out? That was a sign! You're destined to be together. White-out! Come on! That's such a hint! Alright, do it. DO IT! Ask her out and don't say anything stupid.
No problemo.
NO PROBLEMO? What is this, 1986? Why didn't you ask her out? You pansy! It's all over for you now. Why don't you just get it over with and propose to J.J. Redick you loser. You blew it again. Way to go.
Alright, now that you've ruined this, try to save some dignity for a later date proposal. Let's walk away like you own the place, you know, save a little face.
(Frank runs into a file cabinet, spilling hundreds of papers on the ground.)

Anyway, that’s what’s likely to happen if you ask some guy his opinion on the tournament. He won’t know what he’s talking about and you’ll not only have a new stalker, but terrible brackets.

Come up with a clever team name for your entry
Anything that involves your last name, mascot of the college you attended, numbers, using a Z instead of an S (i.e. Boyz) or the words “fo shizzle” will not be tolerated.

Most importantly, ignore everything you’ve just read
I haven’t won a pool since 1994.

Region Rundown

East
First Impressions: How stacked is the East? Give it a heavy dose of Xanax, a television show and a creepy, sycophantic lawyer/lover and this region is Anna Nicole Smith circa 2002. Georgetown is the hottest team in America that doesn't have a 46-year old freshman playing center, Texas has the best player to hit the Tournament since Tim Duncan and UNC was the best team in the best conference in the country. In this group, Washington State must feel like a regular dude showering in a locker room filled with male porn stars.

Best 1st Round Game: #8 Marquette vs. #9 Michigan State
Dominic James vs. Drew Neitzel is a great guard battle in a relatively weak crop of first round games. Boston College/Texas Tech looks like it should be intriguing, but considering Al Skinner and the current Bobby Knight have more trouble in March than Julius Caseser, the 7/10 game will probably be an ugly affair.

Best Upset Possibility: #14 Oral Roberts over #3 Washington State
Washington State hasn't beaten anybody this year, but they haven't really lost to anyone either, so this is based more on the strength of Oral Roberts, a team that walked into Allen Fieldhouse and knocked off #2 Kansas early in the season.

Best Possible 2nd Round Game: #1 North Carolina vs. #9 Michigan State
If I were Roy Williams, I'd be praying that Tom Izzo and the Spartans get knocked off by Marquette, since MSU always seems to make their Tournament runs of the "all or nothing" variety.

Worst Possible 2nd Round Game: #2 Georgetown vs. #10 Texas Tech
If Tech gets by Boston College (and seeing as how the Eagles have lost five of seven, that isn't too much of a stretch), they better enjoy it since Bob Knight's stubborness will lead to a thorough ass-kicking at the hands of Georgetown. Since Knight refuses to play zone, the defense that has stymied the Hoyas at times this season, his team will quickly discover they don't match-up at all with John Thompson III's squad.

Early Final Four Prediction: Georgetown
I had the Hoyas going to Atlanta back in November and am not going to jump off their bandwagon now.

South
First Impressions: For being the "fourth" #1 seed, Ohio State got the easiest draw of any top team. Of the eight teams playing in an 8/9 game, BYU and Xavier are among the least threatening. Memphis is the worst #2 on the board and Virginia is the worst #4. The only other team that appears to have a shot at making it to Atlanta would be Texas A&M, but they have three games to win before they can worry about Ohio State.

Best 1st Round Game: #7 Nevada vs. #10 Creighton
Would it have killed the committee to put Creighton in the East so they could have played Boston College, instead of pitting two mid-majors against one another like a steel-cage match?

Best Upset Possibility: #11 Stanford over #6 Louisville
I'll be honest, I don't like any upsets in this bracket (keep in mind I don't consider anything less than #11 over #6 an upset).

Best Possible 2nd Round Game: #4 Virginia vs. #5 Tennessee
Seriously, this might be the most boring region ever.

Worst Possible 2nd Round Game: #1 Ohio State vs. #9 BYU
Even the Ohio State/Wisconsin games are boring, so I can't imagine this one will tingle the senses.

Early Final Four Prediction: Ohio State
The Buckeyes are cruising right now and with an easy road in front of them, it's tough to see them getting out before the Elite Eight. Texas A&M could put a scare into them, but one of my cardinal rules of life is never have money riding on anything where you have to rely on a guy named Billy, unless his middle name is Dee and his last name is Williams.

Midwest
First Impressions: Reason #943 ESPN is too powerful: With the exception of the Pac 10 Tournament, how many times did you see Oregon play this year? I have the Comcast Sports Package that gives me all the Fox Sports Stations and I still only saw them play once or twice. The Ducks have the make of a team that everyone is either going to underrate and have losing to Winthrop or overrate and have beating Florida to go to the Final Four. Translation: Pick 'em to do something in between. Other than that, this is another fairly boring region. Wisconsin: Wake me up when Playboy comes to campus for Girls of the Big 10. Maryland is capable of putting a nice run together, but they don't match-up very well with Florida at all. Unless Greivis Vazquez sucker-punches Joakim Noah before the game for giving un-attractive men everywhere a bad name. (How much of a tool is Noah? He thinks he's such hot shit that he never makes eye contact with an interviewer during the entire time he's on camera. Damn, even Puffy stares Diane Sawyer down through his Versace shades.)

Best 1st Round Game: #4 Maryland vs. #13 Davidson
If there's one thing Gary Williams has never been good at, it's convincing his players to give respect to a little-known team. The Terps almost always struggle in the first round of the NCAAs because of this.

Best Upset Possibility: #15 Texas A&M-Corpus Christi over #2 Wisconsin
I'm not saying it'll happen but, because Wisconsin slows the game down to a crawl, all it takes is a hot shooter or two for any team to knock them off.

Best Possible 2nd Round Game: #2 Wisconsin vs. #10 Georgia Tech
In their last game, the Yellow Jackets scored 112 points. In their last two games, the Badgers dropped 102.

Worst Possible 2nd Round Game: #1 Florida vs. #9 Purdue
Here's hoping Joakim Noah gets arrested for doing something dumb on Bourbon Street.

Early Final Four Prediction: Georgia Tech
Florida's not winning the whole thing, so why not take a stab?

West
First Impressions: Remember when Bill Simmons wrote about how deep this year is in college basketball and how so many teams from 2007 could beat the best squads from 2006? Well, I take everything I have ever said about The Sports Guy back. Because he is funny!

Best 1st Round Game: #6 Duke vs. #11 Virginia Commonwealth
Every year I try to pick an "upset" team early in the year so I can follow their progess throughout the conference season. For the past three years, that team has ended up playing a team in the first round that I'm reluctant to pick against. (Last year it was George Mason playing Michigan State (oops) and the year before it was Old Dominion playing, um, Michigan State. That's weird.) Anyway, in case you hadn't figured it out, VCU was that team this year.

Best Upset Possibility: #12 Illinois over #5 Virginia Tech
As I wrote yesterday, this would be as much of an upset as Jennifer Hudson winning the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress.

Best Possible 2nd Round Game: #1 Kansas vs. #9 Villanova
It's safe to say that Bill Self and Kansas won't lose in the first round this year. Beyond that? I'm not so sure.

Worst Possible 2nd Round Game: #2 UCLA vs. #10 Gonzaga
Since the Zags are playing a Kelvin Sampson-coached team in the first round, it's safe to see they'll live to see the second. Thus, boring the world to tears as they lose to UCLA by 25.

Early Final Four Prediction: Kansas
The last time a Final Four was played in Atlanta, KU ran into a buzzsaw in the form of Maryland. This year, the stage is set for their first National Title since 1988.

Instant Bracket Thoughts

Give the Selection Committee a break. Making and seeding the field of 65 is a nearly-impossible job (with the added bonus of being a thankless one too). CBS and ESPN ruin Selection Sunday by focusing on who's not in the Tournament instead of concentrating on who is there. By tip-off on Thursday, nobody outside the Boeheim family will care that Syracuse isn't in or that Arkansas is. It doesn't matter. So forget all that nonsense (until I mention it in a few paragraphs) and focus of the 32 games that will be played on Thursday and Friday and all the limitless possibilities they hold for the next three weeks. Some initial thoughts on the field of 65:

* Lost in all the hullaballo over Syracuse and Arkansas and Drexel and Illinois is the fact that Florida, losers of three of their last five regular season games, is the #1 overall seed in the Tournament. The committee always says they don't take previous years or history into account when setting the field, but that's tough to believe when the defending National Champs are slated as the best overall team while their resume suggests they're, at best, #3. This doesn't matter one bit, mind you, I just found it interesting.

* The #12/#5 upset is absurdly overrated. The talent margin between the two seeds are often miniscule, mainly because #12 seeds are often the "last-in" teams from big conferences. This year #12 Illinois plays #5 Virginia Tech. If those two teams played in the regular season, the word "upset" only would have been used if the Hokies had earned the W. Illinois is ranked five spots higher in the RPI, for crap's sake! (They're #29, while VT is #34.) Ditto for Arkansas and USC. The Razorbacks are the 12 seed, but are higher in the RPI than the team seeded seven spots ahead of them. Meanwhile, in another #12/#5 matchup, Tennessee is #12 in the RPI while their first-round opponent, Long Beach State, is #79.

* Usually there is one #2 seed that is pretty terrible and seems destined for an early-Tournament exit (ie, Tennessee, 2006) but with the possible exception of Memphis (who is always an x-factor since there's no point of comparison), these #2 seeds all look quite solid.

* Saw UCLA coach Ben Howland on ESPN's "Bracketology" special and was impressed with the way he handled himself, so much so that I'll end my dislike of UCLA that begin when I first saw Jordan Farmar two years ago. Howland could have been upset that his team didn't get a #1 seed over Florida or Kansas, but instead he realized how beneficial it was to be a #2 seed in the West. It seems absurd that something so entirely rational could earn praise, but I remember a coach a few years ago (I want to say it was Jim Calhoun in 2004) complaining about not earning a #1, despite getting a #2 in the easiest bracket. UConn went on to win the whole thing that year, by the way.

* After watching Aaron Gray morph from a lottery pick into Roy Hibbert's bitch over the course of 40 minutes on Saturday night, I'm getting a little worried that Duke might be able to sneak past VCU and Pitt and make it into the Sweet 16.

* My biggest bracket decision looks like it will be what to do with Georgia Tech. They're one of those teams that could make a run to the Elite Eight or get down early to UNLV and be out of the Tournament by the second TV timeout.

* There are only two teams in the field of 65 that failed to reach the 20-win plateau (Miami (OH) and Stanford). This is due, in part, to teams playing more games than ever, but also to the fact that almost all of the small conference tournaments were won by a good team (relative to that conference). Could this lead to more big upsets? It's worth paying attention to.

* Another thing the committee always says is that they don't look ahead to matchups. It was tough to believe when they put Maryland and Lefty Driesell's Georgia State team in the same pod back in '01 and it's tough to believe this year when: Bruce Weber can meet his old team, Southern Illinois, in the second round, Maryland and Davidson (two of Driesell's former teams) meet in the first round and the West is littered with five of the six most successful college basketball programs of all-time (Kansas, UCLA, Duke, Kentucky, Indiana).

* If the committee screwed over the mid-majors this year, it isn't because Drexel didn't get into the Dance. It's because two lower-seeded Cinderella-ready teams are matched-up with fellow mid-majors in the first round. #12 Old Dominion, an at-large team, has to play #5 Butler in the Midwest, while #10 Creighton gets the joy of seeing a team ranked in the top 25 all season, Nevada, in their opening game in the South. ODU could have played Virginia Tech, USC or Tennessee and beaten any of them. Instead, they'll have to partake in some mid-on-mid crime in order to advance.

* Hubert Davis is surprised Illinois got into the Tournament, considering they went 9-7 in the Big East. He also thinks Derrick Byars should have been considered for Big 12 Player of the Year, which would have been difficult since Byars plays for Vanderbilt in the SEC and did, in fact, win that conference's POY award. Davis also has a fairly-awesome habit of calling Dick Vitale, "Dick Vitale," as in, "I'll tell you what, Dick Vitale, I think Purdue is a dangerous team." For some reason I got flashbacks to the early-'90s Saturday Night Live episodes when every guest on "Weekend Update" would call Kevin Nealon "Kevin Nealon" all the time. By the way, Hubert Davis is atrocious. Worst of all, he's not hatable like Michael Irvin or Jeff Brantley, so you almost feel sorry for how bad he is.

* Jay Bilas always does three things on Selection Sunday: 1) Gets to hair and makeup early, 2) Becomes incensed at the mere suggestion of a mid-major getting a berth over a major conference team, and 3) Name-drops like he's Rosie O'Donnell after a Puffy party in the Hamptons. Bilas' analysis always goes something like this, "VCU's frontcourt, with Biff Tannen and Scott Tenorman, is really effective in the low post. If their guards, Joe Mayo and Ed Christman, can get them the ball, they really have a chance to run with Duke." But of course I'm just joking. Bilas never thinks anybod can run with Duke. I actually timed Bilas in his name-dropping tonight. At one point, he managed to drop 11 names in 49 seconds, which was jaw-droppingly impressive to me. Then, he Beamoned his record a little while later by rattling off 4/5th of Nevada's starting lineup in a blazing seven seconds. Now I know what it would have been like to see DiMaggio's hitting streak at its height.

* The East Region definitely seems to be the toughest bracket to get through, but it always seems that the toughest roads on Selection Sunday seem a lot more navigable after the first weekend of play. So, yes, in theory UNC having to go through Marquette, Texas, Georgetown and Ohio State in order to get to the Final would seem daunting, but what are the odds they actually face all those teams? All I heard on TV was that Georgetown would have a cakewalk to the Elite Eight and, while I tend to agree (the Hoyas match-up great against both BC and Texas Tech), what if BC or WSU or Vanderbilt steps up and plays the solid zone defense that has been known to stymie John Thompson III's team?

* It's always fun to see where the committee seeds Memphis. Subsequently, it is then fun to see how everybody completely dumps on the Tigers when making their predictions. I'm no Memphis backer, but I'll remind you that everyone thought they'd lose to Oral Roberts, Bucknell and/or Kansas and Pittsburgh last year, but Memphis proved the doubters wrong and advanced to the Elite Eight. That being said, John Calipari's team hasn't played anyone ranked in the RPI top 50 since before Christmas, so feel free to flip a coin on Nevada/Creighton and then move that winner out a few slots.

* How does Oral Roberts get a #14 seed while Albany gets a #13? Oral Roberts (there's no way to shorten that, unless I wanted to go with "Oral," which I certainly did not) has similar numbers to Albany but went on the road and beat freakin' Kansas. That has to be worth at least two or three seeding places, right?

* Great. Not only do we have to hear Jim Boeheim whining for a week about how Syracuse didn't make the Tournament, now he'll undoubtedly continue his ridiculous crusade to get the NCAA expand the Tourney as well. He should really save his breath and instead focus on scheduling some games outside the state of New York for next season. And maybe he can get his team to beat Wichita State and Drexel next year too. At least Bob Huggins was man enough to admit his team didn't win more games. But that's probably only 'cause he was hammered.

* Listening to a discussion on ESPN about Florida State's strength-of-ACC-schedule helped me turn over a new leaf in my hatred of John Swofford. This new leaf being that I hate him even more than I had ever imagined.

* Committee chairman Gary Walters gave a great interview on CBS after the brackets were unveiled. He gave solid responses to every question, provided detail when eeded and said something that everyone should remember before ripping who got in and who didn't. The gist of it was: The committee isn't perfect and ten different people could have come to different conclusions about which at-large teams to select. There's always going to be teams that are disappointed. That's the nature of the beast.

* In this exact space last year, I wrote, "With only three "great" teams in the Tournament this could be one of the more unpredictable March's in recent memory." I'm not really feeling that this year. The power seems to be in the #1 and #2 seeds and my gut says at least three such teams will make it to Atlanta, with a mildly surprising fourth joining them as well. Whatever happens, I can't wait. The brackets are out, the discussions have begun and we're just four days from the greatest sports weekend of the year. Check back every day this week for the most comprehensive NCAA Tournament coverage of any eponymous blog on the Internet.

Tomorrow: Region Rundown
Tuesday: Bracket Tips (How To Fill Out A Bracket)
Wednesday: Bracket Thoughts That Came To Me Between Sunday and 6:45 p.m. on Wednesday
Thursday: Full NCAA Tournament Predictions

ACC Season in Review

ACC Player of the Year: Al Thornton, Florida State
I'd apologize to Jared Dudley, but, then again, I'm not the one who missed three straight potentially game-tying free throws against UNC at home. Nor do I have a ponytail.
Dudley joins Chris Carrawell (2000) as the worst ACC POYs in the past 30 years. If you root for an ACC team, were you ever scared of Jared Dudley? Did you ever think to yourself, "man, I hope we can find an answer for Duds?" Or wonder if it was only a matter of time before J. Dud got hot from the floor? Of course not. Because he's Jared Dudley and he plays for a coach who looks like a poorly-dressed homeless man. Seriously, Al Skinner, do the malls in Boston not have a place to buy neckties? I'm sure Tom Brady can lend you one if he can stop illegitimately impregnating young women in the New England area.
Thornton was the only true force in the ACC this season. Every time Florida State played, you were aware of his presence on the floor. And in conference games he outscored Dudley by four points and outrebounded him too. Enough said.

ACC Coach of the Year: Gary Williams, Maryland
Apologies do go out to Dave Leitao on this one, as Leitao did a wonderful job leading Virginia to within one win of an ACC regular season title. Clearly, this was a surprise to the media folks who picked UVA to finish 8th in the conference this season. Those more prescient had the Hoos picked third and will beg you to ignore who said seer pegged for the #2 slot. (I missed the boat on the two Techs (Georgia too high, Virginia too low), but had Duke falling off, Maryland resurging and UVA being that one surprise team that made it into the top four. In the same post, I railed about how everybody at ESPN.com had lame Final Four picks (ie the top four preseason teams), so I went with two "easy" selections (Kansas and UNC) and two stretches (Georgetown and Michigan). Three outta four ain't bad.)
Anyway, Leitao was great, but I think this was Gary Williams' best coaching job since his first few years at Maryland. The Terps were left for dead in early February after a brutal start to their ACC season. At 3-6, it looked as if Maryland was going to miss the Tournament for the third straight season. It was a similar situation to what happened in 2001. A Valentine's Day loss to FSU had everyone in the ACC asking if Gary had maybe taken the Terps as far as he could. Six weeks later, they were in the Final Four. The runs of the two teams are amazingly similar; good nonconference start, stumbling out of the gate in the ACC, finishing strong and then losing early in the ACC Tournament. But there's one key difference: Everybody expected the '01 team to be good. They had a load of talent with Juan Dixon, Steve Blake, Lonny Baxter and Terrence Morris. Those Terps were supposed to be good and the only reason everybody was so down on them in February was because they were underachieving.
This time around, when Maryland was struggling, everybody just kind of assumed it was because they didn't have the talent. Nobody was up in arms about this team because their woes were expected. Clearly, these Terps were better than their record, but nobody figured they'd run the table in the regular season and finish off their conference slate as the hottest team in America.
That's why Gary Williams is my Coach of the Year. He totally defied expectations and took a moribund team that was two steps from the basketball grave and turned them into a contender; and he did it in about two weeks. Everybody assumes the best coaching comes in Championship seasons. I'd venture the guess that 2002 was Gary's easiest coaching job of all.

ACC Rookie of the Year: Brandan Wright, North Carolina
You were expecting Martynas Pocius, perhaps?

All-ACC First Team
G - Sean Singletary, Virginia
G - Zabian Dowdell, Virginia Tech
F - Tyler Hansbrough, North Carolina
F - Al Thornton, Florida State
F - Jared Dudley, Boston College
I tried to justify putting J.R. Reynolds in over Zabian Dowdell, but it wasn't at all rational, so this All-ACC team mirrors the official one.

NCAA Tournament Seed Projections
North Carolina - #1 (If they win today, I don't see how you can give the best team in the best conference a #2 seed behind the second-best team in a mediocre one.)
Maryland - #4
Boston College - #5
Virginia Tech - #5
Virginia - #6
Duke - #7
Georgia Tech - #10

Check back after the Selection Show for instant thoughts on the field of 65. And then be sure to come back all week for NCAA Tournament analysis, projections and bracket tips.

I Want My ACC

Despite last night's euphoria, I'm actually feeling worse today than I did yesterday. To make matters worse, I get home from work, turn on the TV to watch some good ol' ACC Tournament basketball only to find that the Big East has hijacked the airwaves and are showing a Miami/Boston College game. Billy Packer must be turning in his grave.
My ACC Season Review will have to wait until next week, when I'll cram it in with NCAA Tournament talk. It says a lot about how crappy I'm feeling when even the thought of the Selection Show being a mere 50 hours away isn't enough to make me feel better. Check back during the weekend if you're bored, I'm sure I'll post something at some point, seeing as how I don't imagine I'll be leaving my couch and/or bed for a while. Go Deacs.

Wake Forest 114 - Georgia Tech 112 (2OT)

It was a game that was "over" at least four separate times. It was a game in which the winner shot better from beyond the arc than from the free-throw line. It was a game that featured 48 turnovers, but saw nearly 60% of shots from the floor go in. It was a game that had a team put seven players in double-figures, when only one player averaged that much for the season. It was a game that saw a player go through 40 minutes of regulation scoring just one point, and then drop 22 in the final ten. It was a game that put an unheralded freshman point guard on the map, after shattering the ACC record for most assists in Tournament history. It was a game that also saw the following Tournament records fall: Most points in a game (team), most points in a game (combined), highest field-goal percentage (combined). It was a game in which nothing was surprising; not the last-second threes or missed foul shots or repeated answers to seemingly crippling baskets. It was a game that tested my patience as a fan, alum and semi-rational human being. It was a game that, afterwards, made my college roommate drunkenly call from the streets of New York, blissfully unaware that he had already called five minutes before. It was a game that erased the misery of Wake Forest's past two seasons; if only for a day. And, most importantly, it was a game that proved that no matter how much John Swofford tries to mess with it, the ACC Tournament is still the Granddaddy of them all.

I Slept Through The Price Is Right

I've been sick all week and stayed home from work today as a result. That it happens to be the first day of the ACC Tournament is pure coincidence (for real; seeing as how I'm still in bed and just turned on the TV). Next week, when I take Friday off for the second day of the NCAA Tournament, that will be a mere coincidence.
Depending on if I ever crawl out of bed, I'll try to post my ACC Season Review and Tournament Preview tomorrow (the Thursday games earn no mention from me; it's part of my futile personal vendatta against John Swofford's expansion).
Until then, here's a "holy crap, I never knew this existed" YouTube gem. (Courtesy DC Sports Bog.)

An Evening With Dickie V

Last Wednesday night, everything was set for a perfect evening with Dick Vitale. Maryland and Duke were playing a huge game at Cameron and with his old pal Mike Patrick at his side, I thought Dickie V would help poduce a magical night filled with lengthy sermons on the merits of Greg Paulus' ball-handling skills and sonnets about Coach K's beauty as a man, father, leader, humanatarian, neighbor, dues-paying Costco member and father, just in case we didn't catch that the first time around. And with the Cameron Crazies seated directly below him, Dickie V was due for an ode to their dual-passions of sports and self-improvement through learning.
But while all those things still happened, you could tell Vitale's heart truly wasn't into it. Oh, sure, he still loves Duke, but he isn’t in love with this particular team. There are no J.J. Redicks or Jason Williams’ to lionize and no Shelden Williams’ or Chris Duhons to over-praise. There’s not even an annoying, scrappy white guy in the mold of Steve Wojciechowski or Chris Collins to call "the little general". (This is probably the reason Duke finished 8-8 in the ACC and will compete in a “play-in” ACC Tournament game for their first time in their history.)
Vitale tries hard to muster up enthusiasm about Greg Paulus, but it feels a bit forced. And Jon Scheyer has clearly caught his eye, but he’s far from getting inducted into the Bald of Fame alongside the likes of Laettner, Hurley, Hill, Wojo, Williams, Redick and, Vitale’s all-time favorite, Shane Battier.
Again, none of this is meant to suggest that Vitale has turned in his lifetime membership to the Mike Krzyzewski Fan Club. It just means that if Vitale's Duke-love was a 3,000,000,000 on a scale of 1-10, it's now somewhere around 2,975,000,666. But don't take my word for it, read about my evening with him and take my word for it judge for yourself.
(It’s worth noting that Duke is now 0-4 in the games when me, my laptop and a six-pack of Sierra Nevada hang out with Mr. Vitale. Maybe next year I’ll do this for every game and Duke will finish 7th in the ACC and lose four in-conference games at home. Man, wouldn't that be sweet.)

9:10 PM The ACC’s fiercest rivalry over the past decade tips off in Durham, as Maryland and Duke get set to battle for positioning in the nation's best conference. And we are looking live at… Storrs, Connecticut. Apparently ESPN is contractually obligated to stick it out to the finish of this ugly Big East battle pitting a bubble team against a team that wishes Marcus Williams was still around to steal computers so they could hack into the RPI ratings and tweak them so that they'd have a shot at merely seeing the bubble. There is currently 3:45 left, so, by Big East standards, this one should be done by the time The Today Show comes on in the morning.

9:13 PM Remember how at the end of The Departed you started looking at your watch and wondering if it was ever going to end? This game is sort of like that, only with bricked free throws instead of gratuitous violence. I’m half expecting Marky Mark to shoot-up the entire gym and then challenge The Funky Bunch to a rousing game of Around the World.

9:14 PM Even though nobody is watching MD/Duke at the moment, I’m envisioning Dick Vitale calling the game anyway, ranting into his dead mic about how scintillating and sensational Jon Scheyer is, while Mike Patrick stares aimlessly into the rafters, slowly chewing on an egg salad sandwich.

9:15 PM Villanova goes on a quick 6-0 run and leads by seven, which means we’re officially in foul-mode for UConn with 40.8 seconds left. ESPN has decided to tease us with that translucent, cornered, live box score that CBS introduced a few years ago during the NCAA Tournament. The technological marvel tells us that the Terps lead 7-6, but I’m reluctant to believe that since Duke score/timekeepers have in the past been known to – how do I put this delicately – blow.

9:17 PM Villanova, up six, has now fouled on Connecticut’s previous two possessions. I repeat, Villanova, UP BY SIX POINTS, is lengthening the game and putting the Huskies on the line. Maybe the dapperly-dressed Jay Wright should spend less time at the haberdasher and more time teaching fundamentals.

9:18 PM I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. I like Jay Wright. I’m just getting a bit edgy having to watch this end-of-game nonsense instead of Maryland. And here I thought I was done with my daily angst after an hour-long trip home on the GW Parkway that included me creating 14 new compound swear words and loudly recommending that a woman driving a minivan do something very objectionable and, possibly, very illegal.

9:21 PM Duke scores three points, one-by-one, with no time coming off the clock, which must mean that Ekene Ibekwe sneezed in Greg Paulus’ general direction during a three-point attempt.

9:23 PM Villanova hopefully seals the game with a free throw to put them up four. But Mike Nardi looks like he’s aching to foul on a made UConn three-pointer, so I’m not putting this one in the books yet. And if watching the end of this game wasn’t bad enough, the Wake/NC State score is constantly flashing on the ticker. Aren’t there some meaningless women’s games ESPN could be updating instead of documenting the slow decline of a once-proud basketball team? What’s Florida A&M’s women’s team up to? How did Greg Biffle’s car do in one of NASCAR’s 37 weekly qualifying races? What about those AFL scores that ESPN is now showing, coincidentally coinciding with their acquisition of that league’s broadcast rights? I need to know these things, Worldwide Leader!

9:24 PM We’re finally live in Durham. Never before have I been so happy to see DeMarcus Nelson.

9:25 PM As Mike Patrick begins welcoming everyone to Cameron Indoor Stadium, Vitale, like a very-loud volcano waiting to very-loudly erupt, cuts off his partner and proceeds to set the stage by screaming the names of nearly everyone involved in the contest. He howls, “DUKE… MARYLAND… GARY WILLIAMS… MIKE KRYZEWSKI… JOSH MCROBERTS… DJ STRAWBERRY,” before he is, in turn, cut-off by Patrick after a Maryland bucket. If the Terps had missed and Vitale could have continued ranting, I’d have been curious to hear how far down the Duke/MD family trees he could have gotten before passing out from lack of oxygen to the brain. I’m guessing somewhere around Obina Ekezie and Matthew Laurance, the Duke radio sideline reporter who also played David Silver’s dad on 90210.

9:26 PM Nelson makes a decent cut to the hoop, but blows a gimmie layup.
Vitale: “He did everything right, but make the basket.” And the trains ran on time in Nazi Germany too, Dick.

9:27 PM Nelson is called for an offensive foul for pushing off on DJ Strawberry. Dick Vitale says he agrees with the call against Duke. And, 900 miles to the west, Al Gore’s plans for An Inconvenient Truth sequel are put on the back-burner as the frigid chill from hell reaches the troposphere.

9:31 PM Patrick on Krzyzewski: “You get the sense that if he wanted to, he could eclipse any record he wanted.” That’s actually a pretty good idea for a reality show; Coach K trying to break various world records and then snidely finding a way to criticize the officials after he loses to Kobayashi by 43 hot dogs.

9:33 PM Vitale informs us that Coach K told him that a main issue with Greg Paulus is that he internalizes his mistakes. Man, that’s gonna be one huge therapy bill.

9:40 PM Mike Jones is on fire, hitting on his first four three-pointers. Nobody’s been this flaming in Durham since Christian Laettner graduated.

9:44 PM Pocius throws the ball three feet over the head of seven-footer Brian Zoubek.
Pocius proceeds to stomp his foot like the Lithuanian crybaby he is, while Zoubek continues to be gangly. Did you know that Zoubek was once named MVP of the Eddie Griffin Challenge Game? Rather, did you know that there was an Eddie Griffin Challenge Game? I wonder if, as MVP, Zoubek was rewarded with an SUV, some hand lotion and a DVD of “Bonfire of the Panties”.

9:50 PM Vitale talks about Clemson starting 17-0, then falling apart and says it was the
“hearbreaker” at Duke that caused the meltdown. I’m pretty sure getting jobbed by the timekeepers wasn’t what Barry Gibb had in mind when he his smooth falsetto sang “I got to say it and it’s hard for me. You got me cryin like I thought I would never be. Love is believin’ but you let me down, how can I love you when you ain’t around.”

9:52 PM Apparently, Jon Scheyer is an outstanding, scholastic superstar. We’re told this by Vitale after Scheyer hits a layup to cut the Terps lead to two. It’s the first time Vitale’s been excited since he came on the air.

9:53 PM In his ongoing quest to cut all ties to the bandwagon of Josh McRoberts, Vitale calls the under-performing forward “a tease”. Amazingly, Patrick plays the Paula to Vitale’s Simon and defends McRoberts by attributing his lack of production to “an unselfish behavior. Vitale criticizing a Dukie? We have now officially entered the bizarro world where Eli Manning is a good quarterback, Britney Spears is Queen of England and Barry Gibb looks manly in that picture.

9:53 PM “It’s rock and roll time at Cameron!” Well, the crowd certainly is white enough.

9:54 PM Vitale is about five minutes from making it rain on Jon Scheyer.

9:55 PM Greivis Vasquez hits his second consecutive three to put Maryland up six and Vitale sounds as if he’s giving the eulogy at a funeral… While overdosing on Valium... While watching the end of Terms of Endearment. Vasquez, whose bravado is very much Dukie-esque, struts down the court, taunting the Crazies. When Wojo did this, Vitale had to quickly think about baseball and his grandma to prevent an FCC violation. With Vasquez, he’s utterly indifferent.

9:58 PM Vitale finishes a story about Vasquez and Kevin Durant playing together in high school as Duke inbounds after a made basket. Patrick says “Maryland up 44-38” and then pauses. Then, this:

Patrick – Doris, I just had a frightening thought. Consider this. Dick Vitale has fewer tattoos and more hair than Britney Spears.
Vitale – (Laugter) My name being mentioned with Britney Spears?
Patrick - The world has really gone you know where.
Vitale - Well I’ll tell ya one thing, she better wake up, she Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton or they’re not gonna make it past 40 with the lifestyle they livin. Wait, how are we talking about that in a basketball game?
Patrick - It just occurred to me.

Sometimes, there are no additional words necessary.

9:59 PM Halftime, with Maryland up 44-38. Vitale steps out of the booth to plan a dual-intervention for both Nicole Richie and the career of Jay Williams.

10:14 PM During the first half, Vitale and Patrick mentioned that Maryland’s defense was far
too lax in letting Duke put up 38 points. Yet, at no point did they criticize Duke for giving up 44 points, despite having the 17th best scoring defense in the nation. In other news, Vitale once auditioned for a guest gig on Fox News, but was turned down for being too fair and too balanced.

10:15 PM This just occurred to me, but I think Vitale really dislikes Josh McRoberts. He’s always calling him a tease, begging him to play to his ability and giving him back-handed compliments like, “nice job by McRoberts getting the rebound over D.J. Strawberry.” Now, after McRoberts umpteenth traveling violation this season, Vitale says “ohhh, he did a little Johnny Travolta right there!” He then explains that this is surprising because, usually, McRoberts plays more like Ellen Travolta.

10:29 PM Take any team in the country right now and I’ll take Maryland and feel very, very comfortable. (I wrote this at 10:29 and then erased it immediately thereafter for fear of jinxing the Terps season. It almost happened, as Duke went on a little run and I was very close to going back and stick ing my head in the oven.)

10:31 PM Mike Patrick just said Zoubek did a brilliant job. And I think Mike Patrick did a brilliant job of liberally using the word “brilliant.”

10:32 PM Vitale mentions that Duke’s womens team is ranked #1 in the AP Poll. J.J. Redick must have still have had one year of eligibility.

10:33 PM A pan of the Cameron Crazies reveals a black dude jumping amongst the madness. I think it’s the first time I’ve ever seen a black person in that crowd, unless you count the time Grant Hill came for his number retirement ceremony. And I don’t.

10:38 PM Brandan Wright is Vitale’s #1 Diaper Dandy. Martynas Pocius is #2.

10:38 PM McRoberts travels and then charges into DJ Strawberry, but is not called for either violation. Mike Patrick says, “it’s a good no call.” Good no calls, Mike. Good no CALLS.

10:39 PM Patrick is picking up the slack on the McRoberts love, stating, “he sure fills up that stat sheet, as our good friend Clark Kellogg used to say.” I will now parse these 16 words as deeply as those slightly more famous 16 words. First, the only thing McRoberts fills up is a seat in coach. Secondly, can we really attribute the phrase “filling up the stat sheet” to Clark Kellogg? I remember he used to call people “stat-sheet stuffers,” but that’s not the same thing. One is a common term used frequently in sports (a quick Lexis Nexis search turned up 48 articles citing the phrase before 1990), the other is a take-off of the term. It’d be like saying “hello” and then attributing that phrase to Fonzie because he said “eyyy.” And finally, what’s with the “used to”? Did something happen to Clark Kellogg that I’m not aware of? First Patrick is crediting him with phrases he didn’t create and now he has him fit for a toe tag?

10:39 PM The refs call a reach around on Zoubek. Well, it wouldn’t be the first time.

10:40 PM Vitale openly roots for Zoubek to take it to the basket. When he gets the ball stolen from him, Vitale moans, “ohhhhhhh” like someone kicked him in the goods. I think if three of Vitale’s grandchildren, a blind, orphaned Purple Heart winner and a three-legged puppy were playing against Duke, Dickie V would still be pulling for the Blue Devils.

10:46 PM Scheyer ties it up on a three; Vitale immediately begins hoping the freshman will ask him to the Sadie Hawkins dance.

10:48 PM Maryland has the ball with the game tied and Duke forces a jump ball. The possession arrow belongs to Maryland, which causes Vitale to go on his tired rant about how the possession arrow is the worst rule in college basketball. Now, before reading the next sentence, I want you to sit down in case the shock of what you’re about to read makes you faint, hit your head and then draw a diagram of the flux capicitor which is what makes time travel possible: Earlier in the game, when Maryland tied up Duke and Duke got the ball because of the possession arrow, Vitale had absolutely no problem with it. I was shocked too. Zero. Oh, and Liberace was gay.

10:49 PM Vasquez hits a circus shot that Vitale calls a “miracle”. But then he adds that Coach K performed a successful exorcism on a Canaanite woman last Tuesday, so it’s important to keep these miracle things in perspective.

10:51 PM "If a few breaks had gone Duke’s way this season, they’d be playing for a #1 seed," says Vitale. And if Wake Forest had a few breaks go their way they’d be in a position to have Skip Prosser get outcoached in the NCAA Tournament. What’s your point, Dick?

10:52 PM Vitale says, "LeBron looks like a man among kids in the NBA sometimes,” which makes sense on no level given that LeBron is both a kid and mailing it in this season. Dickie V should leave the NBA to Bill Simmons and Bill Simmons should just simply leave.

10:53 PM A minor time malfunction halts play for two minutes, but is eventually corrected. You'd think with all the smart people at Duke they'd be able to competently operate a scoreboard, but I guess they're too busy taking jiu-jitsu classes that will ensure a Dukie in a fight will at least look at least 65% more ridiculous before receiving their inevitable beatdown. Hey, maybe that's where Gerald Henderson learned his move.

10:57 PM Texas and Texas A&M are tied with 73 seconds left, but since I’m recording Lost at the moment, I can’t flip to watch. And now I can’t watch the MD/Duke game either, since they’ve just lost the camera feed and have replaced it with an in-game SportsCenter graphic overlayed with the game-audio. Apparently Duke’s timekeepers are manning ESPN's cameras as well.

10:58 PM If you thought watching the game with Dick Vitale commentating was bad, try listening to him without video of the game-action. At this point, I think I’d rather listen to Gilbert Gottfried delivering a dramatic reading of The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood while getting kicked in the groin repeateadtly by the dude who started that jiu-jiutsu club.

10:59 PM Patrick is informed of the technical difficulties and announces, “we’re going to try to do this a radio broadcast,” and begins calling the game as such and actually does a pretty fine job, until Vitale interrupts him and screams “GOTTA GET IT TO PAULUS!” Dick Vitale: A face for radio and a voice for the silent era.

11:00 PM George is getting upset. Now the stereo sound has been lost and we’re left with a tinny, AM quality feed. It sounds like Vitale is giving one of Roosevelt’s Fireside Chats, if FDR referred to the Bombing of Dresden as “a slam, bam, jam by a super-duper P.T.P.’er, baby! Watch out Mr. Hittttttler, our trifecta isn't done yet!”

11:01 PM Vitale says, “Look at Gary Williams, he’s not cracking a smile.” He then pauses and remarks, “oh, you can’t see Gary Williams!” And they both laugh, as I angrily seethe. Why am I getting the sense that Vitale wouldn’t have the best bedside manner if he were a doctor.

11:02 PM The picture finally comes back and somehow, Maryland is now up nine. Vitale, waving the white flag for Duke, resorts to talking about how great they will be next year and how they always retain their dignity even while going through rough times. Shakespeare’s ghost is delighted by the ironic foreshadowing. (And Duke won’t be discernibly better next season since Krzyzewski teams are always only as good as their leaders, of which they currently have none.).

11:03 PM The picture goes out again. Back during college football season, my buddy Antzo and I were watching ESPN when they cut to the end of a Colorado/Georgia game. The winless Buffaloes were up and trying to hold off a Georgia comeback. Since ESPN was showing the game as “bonus” coverage, they cut away from the contest after a late Georgia punt seemed to clinch the game for Colorado. I was furious that ESPN would tease us with the end of a good game and then turn it off. Antzo thought ESPN was simply being magnanimous. “Maybe they don’t want to make Georgia fans feel bad,” he said of the late cut. He was totally serious. This has become a running joke since then. But now, with the camera feed conveniently cutting out as Duke loses their fourth home game of the year, I’m thinking maybe Antzo was on to something.

11:05 PM With this game out of hand, Vitale should normally be making excuses for Duke's loss. Instead, he's praising Maryland and suggesting what Duke needs to improve on to have success in March. Maybe this bizarro world is our new reality; or maybe it's just because Vitale, like Coach K before him, realizes that these Dukies don't have the horses this season.

11:08 PM The picture returns, just in time to see Greg Paulus scratch himself. Sometimes HD isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

11:09 PM As Mike Jones stands at the line, waiting to shoot two free throws to help seal the game, Vitale suddenly says, “did you hear the announcement? They’re going to have a new practice facility here. $50 million!” The crew then shows videos of some new athletic center Duke is building, while Jones was shooting his free throws. We were seeing a pool-treadmill whilst Jones was shooting. Unseen were the stripper poles and holding cells for the lacrosse team.

11:10 PM Over on the deuce, Texas A&M hits a ridiculous shot to tie at the buzzer. Thank goodness for split screen TVs and the fact that the MD/Duke director wasn’t on the A&M game, or else we would have been watching a piece on how much Kevin Durant loves his grandma instead of Acie Law's Scotty Thurman-esque heave. And, nice job not fouling, Rick Barnes. Even Skip Prosser would know how to do that... If his team was ever in a situation to be up by three with under ten seconds left, that is.

11:11 PM Maryland wins 85-77. Dick Vitale retreats into a Batcave-like tunnel under Cameron, where he'll spend the next two sleepless nights watching Christian Laettner's shot and J.J. Redick highlight reels on an endless loop on a huge screen while humming the tune to the love theme from Titanic. He will then emerge rested for the ACC Tournament, ready to for another shot at Blue Devil glory. Maybe it will take a run to the Final for Dick to get his groove back. Or maybe subtley catching the eye of Mr. Scheyer will be all that is needed to get Dickie V's flames of Duke-love stoked anew. However he does it though, it will happen. For a Vitale divided against Duke cannot stand. And even though we all complain about Dick's love of Duke, the truth is, we wouldn't want it any other way. Hating Duke just wouldn't be as fun without Dick Vitale.

You Stay Classy, Durham

At least when Duke falls into the pit of mediocrity, they manage to keep their poise and dignity.

Another George Michael Break-Up

Once, while on a family trip, I remember sitting on a hotel bed late at night and flipping through the channels, desperate for something to watch. Eventually I stumbled upon The Sports Machine, George Michael's legendary sports highlight show. Growing up outside of Washington D.C., Michael was a larger-than-life figure in the sports world and his Sports Machine was one of those mythical programs that a nine-year old rarely got to see, since we were usually in bed by the time it was broadcast at 11:30 on Sunday nights.
So in that hotel room far from D.C. that night, I wondered, "why is our George Michael breaking out his Sports Machine here?" It never occurred to me that Michael's program was nationally syndicated and, therefore, shown all over the country. And it was later still that I realized Michael's show was SportsCenter before there was Sportscenter. Compressed highlights set to music and shown at a breakneck pace, schmaltzy profiles and a focus on the lighter side of sports; Michael's show was revolutionary in a time when cable was still in its infancy.
Those outside the D.C. area likely know Michael only through that program, but those around town know him as the go-to guy for any local sports news. If something was going on in D.C. sports, the only place to get the scoop was on Michael's 6:45 sportscast on Channel 4 (NBC).
My mom's strict no-TV-during-dinner was routinely ignored on Mondays when Michael and 'Skins legend Sonny Jurgersen would interview the Redskins coach following the previous day's game. Tuesday meant "Tuesday Replays". And Thursday gave us "Thursday Bloopers".
When I went to college the only things I missed about home were reading a hard copy of The Washington Post every morning and missing out on those Monday interviews. I remember sitting on the floor of a ragged house in Winston-Salem, listening to George and Sonny interview Marty Schottenheimer about the benching of Brad Johnson, as my mom held the phone up to her television in Maryland so I could hear.
Michael's banter with Sonny was always fun, as were the ribbings he took from John Riggins during the taping of the weekly show The Redskins Report, for which Michael served as host. It was also on that program that two Washington Post sportswriters made their television debuts, bickering back and forth with one another and Riggo, Michael and Sonny. ESPN execs took notice and those writers, Michael Wilbon and Tony Kornheiser, are celebrating their sixth year on Pardon the Interruption.
At times, Michael could be abrasive. He could be bull-headed. And, oftentimes, he was flat-out wrong. Part of it was schtick, part of it was being a homer for all Washington sports teams. Nobody would have any trouble coming up with criticism of George Michael, but that's mainly because they got to know him so well through television.
In one hour, though, it will all be over as George Michael will be performing his final sportscast on NBC4. He declined a contract extension in November after GE cutbacks for NBC would have forced Michael to fire most of his sports staff.
Sure, he'll still conduct his must-see interviews from Redskins Park on Mondays after games and he'll still moderate Redskins Report and its' spring-time replacement Full Court Press, but he won't be there at the desk when Joe Gibbs retires or when the Wizards make the Eastern Conference Finals or when Maryland or Georgetown go back to the Final Four. He won't be joking around with his old pal Jim Vance or showing us his "Tuesday Replays" or boring us with highlights of rodeo and NASCAR.
Tonight is the end of an era in Washington D.C. and even if Michael makes a return to the airwaves on another network, it will never be the same.

Game Sign I Wish I Had Thought Of

As seen during Virginia Tech/Virginia tonight:

VT Fast Break?
Nah, It's Just Their Players Running From The Cops".

And, one I did think of a while back, but always enjoy reposting: