The Saga Continues


The Washington Post's Jason La Canfora reports that Dinny is very interested in bringing locker room cancer Chad Johnson to the Redskins. Of course they are. They have no interest in finding a coach, mind you, but plenty of interest in trading away a king's ransom for a guy who spent the past four months alienating his teammates in Cincinnati. It's not that I don't think Johnson can be good again. I'm more concerned with what the 'Skins will give up to get him and how much they'll pay him once he gets here.
By now, you've seen the pictures of Johnson holding up a Redskins jersey with his nickname on the back and, why not? Of course he'd want to come here. He'll get $18 million to sign, will challenge Gilbert Arenas for area-eccentricity, can dog it for two seasons then get cut when his salary escalates in the third year of his contract, thus leaving him open to cash-in another nice signing bonus in 2010. Or he can put the effort in and try to regain his status as one of the NFL's elite receivers, but who knows?
I guess one could argue that Ocho Cinco will behave once he's in a better situation (a la Randy Moss and Terrell Owens), but that makes the rather large assumption that Washington is a better situation than Cincinnati. One month ago it wouldn't have been even close. Now, I'm not so sure. I wasn't very good at science, but I'm pretty sure that combining one unstable object with a greater unstable object usually leads to some messed up shit.
There's no news on the coaching front because, why would there be? It's not like the team has gone 24 days without having a head coach. And who needs one of those?!
I was always of the belief that there should be no rush in a coaching seach, but I've changed my mind. It's not that having a coach right now provides any immediate help to the team. But every day the Redskins go without a coach is another day they stand as the laughingstock of the league. It's another day for players to become disenchanted with the franchise and for fans to complain about ownership. Once July rolls around, maybe that won't be a big deal. But I bet it will be.
People in the area aren't happy with Dan Snyder. He was never a beloved figure in D.C., but he wasn't reviled either. Now that he's completely destroyed what Joe Gibbs built, Snyder doesn't get the benefit of the doubt. He's been getting ripped in the newspaper, on television and all over the Internet. Some people wouldn't be bothered by that (a certain owner of the New York Yankees comes to mind), but Snyder certainly is. (This is why Jim Fassel wasn't hired last week.) The criticism will certainly hurt his massive ego, but it might hurt his checkbook as well. Season ticket renewals happen in January and February; I'd imagine people aren't going to be too fond of shelling out exorbitant amounts of money to see a disfunctional team play in a charmless stadium in Landover, MD. They won't visit the team-owned Redskins stores that populate area malls. Having no coach for a month is sort of like Rudy Giuliani skipping the early primaries and putting all his stock in Florida. The appearance of a lack of control and direction killed what was once a healthy presidential candidate. Now he's out of the race. And so too, I fear, are the Redskins.

Vinny Cerrato Commands Disrespect


Some Redskins insiders clearly aren't pleased with the ascension of The Chosen One (Vinny Cerrato) to the post of de facto-GM. They air their grievances today through Jason La Canfora's post on his aptly-named Redskins Insider blog. It's a devastating hit-piece on Cerrato. It is, of course, delightful.
One of my favorite passages:

"Vinny's running it," said one longtime NFL executive who has studied the Redskins closely. "Vinny is the GM. This is the first time you can really put everything on Vinny, beginning right now. And his first act as chief of operations is to find a new coach and he's hired coordinators first and basically has his staff in place already. That's a completely outside-the-box way of doing business, and we'll find out if it was right or wrong.

First off, the old "longtime NFL executive who has studied the Redskins closely" is textbook Pasquarelli. Come on, La Can... You're better than that. I never know what that's supposed to mean, anyway. Why are other NFL execs studying the Redskins closely? So they can see how not to do things? But I digress. My favorite part is the last sentence when the guy says that hiring Zorn and Blache before the head coach is ridiculous, but tries to sound like he has an open mind about whether it will work. I imagine the actual conversation went something like, "That's a completely outside-the-box way of doing business, and we'll find out if it was right or wrong.... But it's totally wrong. The hiring order, I mean. Completely idiotic. Like Vinny. I mean, the jury's still out and all, but it's totally not. Because this is stupid."
And here's the thing: It doesn't even take a "longtime NFL executive" to know that Vinny is going about this coaching search ass-backwards. Everyone knows this. It's obvious. You don't hire the assistants before you hire the head coach. That's like putting the cart before the horse; assuming the horse was standing on the edge of a cliff. You could do man-on-the-street interviews and get the same quotes. My dad doesn't pay much attention to sports, but even he was talking about how dumb all of this is.
In other news, reports today indicate Jim Fassel is still the favorite for the Redskins job. To which I say; so was Gregg Williams at one point. If they were going to get Fassel, it would already be done. Plus, after watching this video, I'm becoming more convinced that Steve Mariucci will be the next head coach of the Washington Redskins.
New information suggests Patriots offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels is also high atop Dinny's wishlist. This makes sense as McDaniels is the safest "risky" hire out there. He's an up-and-coming, young coordinator without much of a track record - the kind of guy many people would like to see the Redskins go after - but he's also a big name, thanks to a couple of guys named Brady, Moss and Welker.
McDaniels goes 1-for-2 in my Redskins Head Coach Litmus Test. He scores points for not being Jim Fassel, but earns a strike because his name is Josh. As time has proven, nobody named Josh will ever amount to anything in the history of Hill Valley. Plus, ask Notre Dame how they like their head coach/ex-Patriots offensive coordinator.

The Anti-Dinntites

After weeks of writing about Redskins playoff losses, Joe Gibbs' retirement, the debacle of finding his successor and Riley Skinner doing his best impression of Michelangelo's David, I've had enough. No more negative talk... For today. Instead, here are the first seven positive sports-related things I could think of. Why only seven? Because that's as far as I got before remembering the Redskins almost hired Jim Fassel. Onto the list:

1) Chris Paul is averaging 20/10/4 for the first-place New Orleans Hornets. Last night, Paul put up 23 and dropped 17 dimes on a good Denver team. The Hornets, you won't remember, were picked to finish (on average) 9th in the west by ESPN.com's NBA experts at the beginning of the season. They are currently in first. Despite this, Paul and the Hornets receive about 1/50th of the press as the Knicks do and don't appear on national television for the rest of the seasons.
Lebron James is the best player in the NBA, but Chris Paul is this year's MVP. Quite simply, this should be the biggest story in the NBA. But everyone's too concerned about Isiah and Kobe and whether Jason Kidd will get traded. Oh, and the Hornets still don't come close to selling out in New Orleans, proving that forcing ownership to bring the team back to the city was a good idea in principle, but a terrible one for business. But we're not hating today, so let's go back to CP. With his play, personality and looks, Paul should be on the verge of becoming one of basketball's biggest stars. His recent appearance on NPR was fantastic; displaying his smarts, wit and playful charm. Marketers should be drooling, especially if the team ever bails on New Orleans. Listen to it; it's an interview/quiz from the "Wait... Wait.. Don't Tell Me" Show. Paul is pitch-perfect, sounding more like a panelist rather than an interviewee. He keeps the host and audiences in stiches for most of the ten minutes.

2) Wake Forest's basketball team, the 10th youngest of 341 Division I squads, is playing solid basketball under new coach Dino Gaudio. had they converted on a last-second opportunity against Clemson last week, they'd be at 3-2 in the ACC. Even after losing that game in OT, Gaudio has the Deacs playing tough defense (their efficiency ratings have skyrocketed this year according to KenPom.com) and running a offense complete with actual movement. The Deacs have struggled because of their inexperience, but they figure to be one of the most improved teams in the nation next year when their highly-touted recruiting class comes to campus. Hopefully they'll keep their clothes on in front of the camera.

3) James Johnson, a freshman on the aforementioned Deacs, is going to be a star in the ACC. He gets no pub because he doesn't go to Duke or UNC, but he's better than any other freshman I've seen in the conference.

4 ) Tiger Woods is the most dominant player in his respective sport since Babe Ruth.

5) Pitchers and catchers report in 16 days.

6) Even though the coverage of the Michael Vick's and PacMan Jones' of the sports world dominate headlines, it's good to know that some good people are getting recognition for doing good work. IUPUI basketball coach Ron Hunter recently went barefoot for a game in order to raise awareness for his charity that collects shoes for children in Africa. His initial goal was to collect 40,000 pairs of shoes. He nearly tripled that, thanks to contributions from WalMart, the U.S. Government, Converse, Nine West and a Memphis-based charity.
Also, Johnny Damon recently was recently recognized for his role as the national spokesman for the Wounded Warrior Project, an organization which provides assistance to injured servicemen and women.

7) At least the Redskins aren't the Raiders.

A Train Wreck of a Whole Other Kind

I wasn't going to link to this until my buddy Scott, the authority for news on all things Wake Forest, told me he had yet to see it. I reasoned if Scott hadn't seen it yet, most people hadn't, so here it is. (I assume this will be on Deadspin very soon though.)
The blog With Leather somehow accrued, um, in-the-buff pictures of Wake Forest QB Riley Skinner and posted one on their site today. Allegedly, these pictures of Skinner posing au natural for the camera have been making the rounds on the Winston-Salem campus. I'm not sure I believe the given explanation for why these pics are out (Skinner sells them to people) but, regardless, they do exist. This is good news for students at Maryland, N.C. State, Florida State and Miami, who will all have the pleasure of heckling Skinner next season when the Deacs travel to their schools for games.
What the hell was he thinking? Was he trying to make people forget about Brady Quinn? I mean, it'd be one thing if Skinner continued in the tradition of The Wolfman by getting naked at parties just for the hell of it, but he really does seem to be modeling in the picture.
Anyway, here's the link if you're interested. WARNING: The picture is semi-NSFW (they thankfully paste a picture over Riley Jr.), but the language is completely NSFW.

Update: CV writes that there had been rumors about this floating around for days. According to his Wake interns, Skinner sent this photo to a sorority listserv last week and "it spread like wildfire". I don't know what's more surprising: That anyone would send a naked picture of themselves to a listserv and not expect it to get out or that CV has interns.

We're Well Past the Windmill
The Redskins Coaching Search: Day 20

I have a new theory about why things are so strange around the Redskins these days, including, and up to, the cosmically-bizarre bond between Dan Snyder and Vinny Cerrato. (No, it's not that.) At this point, I don't at all believe said theory, but I'll keep an eye on it just in case because it kind of would make sense and explain all this nonsense. Sort of. Anyway, if you want a hint, ask Mr. Mapother IV.
Jason La Canfora has a better, more plausible theory over at his Redskins Insider blog. Could it be that all these machinations to get a west-coast offense guy (Jim Zorn) into a coordinator role before hiring a head coach is laying the groundwork to get.... wait for it.... Steve Mariucci? (You see, at least there's some excitement behind that name, even though Mariucci has a less impressive resume than Fassel. I don't know what it is, but I think it's mainly that Steve Mariucci is not Jim Fassel. La Canfora could have been reporting Frank Mariucci was a darkhorse candidate and I probably would have been just as happy.)
Go read what La Can says; it makes sense. Mariucci did well in San Francisco in a time when everyone thought the 49ers would be reeling from years of mismanagement after the reigns of the DeBartalos and Carmen Policy. He didn't do as well in Detroit, but that could have been more the result of Matt Millen drafting every able-bodied receiver in the free world. Mooch still seems like a young, up-and-coming coach to me, so it's weird to see that he's been an NFL head coach for nine years and is 52-years old; two years older than Bill Cowher.
Seeing as how we're stuck with Cerrato/Zorn/Blache for the foreseeable future, I suppose that Steve Mariucci now becomes my least-disliked coaching candidate for the Washington Redskins.
-------------------------
Other quick thoughts from the weekend: First, the Jim Zorn thing baffles me. He's lived almost his entire adult life on the west coast, much of it near Seatle. And he hasn't been an offensive coordinator in 14 years, and when he was it was for two years at Utah State! Since then, Zorn's been a quarterbacks coach in Minnesota (NCAA), Seattle, Detroit and then back again in Seattle. This is the guy with a fresh-mind who is going to invigorate your offense? I'm not saying he won't, it just seems like an odd choice. If Jim Zorn was so great, why was he so easy to acquire? Why did nobody else ever want him? Did Dinny hire him based solely on the recommendation of a man who was fired from his last job in the middle of the season and then had to watch as his unit improved greatly afterwards, finishing the year 9-1? Because... That'd be stupid.
Plus, what happens if Holmgren bolts after next season, as is largely expected, and Jim Mora wants Zorn to come back to coordinate the Seahawks offense? Sure, Dinny can block lateral moves, but Zorn could force his way out of Washington or take a trumped-up title in Seattle. Either way, it doesn't look good.
But the hire is ancient history, so we have to look ahead to the brand new, exciting innovation Zorn has in store for the Redskins: The West Coast Offense!!!!
(Crickets chirp)
That's the innovation he brings into the game today; something that was created in 1972? If we're looking back to '72 for ideas, then expect the Romney camp to break into DNC headquarters any day now.
The west coast offense is a fine offense to run, but not necessarily with a young QB who has had to learn too many systems in the past eight years. Nor with a second-receiver built for speed, not possession and no third receiver to speak of.
Back to JC though, If one made a checklist of qualities a WC QB should have, Campbell would probably have more checked than not, but he's hardly the prototypical WC QB. Still, I'm not worried about the system Campbell as much I am the student Campbell. Learning a brand new offensive playbook is difficult; some QBs say it takes until the middle of the second season to begin to feel comfortable within a new system. That's a long time from now. If Campbell struggles in the WC, it'd be normal. But in D.C., nothing is normal and that could lead to unnecessary trouble.
The Greg Blache hiring is fine by me, but reeks of desperation. When Dinny couldn't get Rex Ryan and whichever other coaches wouldn't return their calls, they kept it in-house. Thusly, the 2008 Redskins defense should have some continuity to the 2007 Redskins defense. In theory. I was a bit surprised by Blache's quote that he had been thinking about getting out of football soon. Clearly, Snyder's money talked and Blache was wise to listen. It wouldn't be surprising, however, for Blache to stick around for two or three more years and then retire to spend time with his wife and six children. It'd be the right move for Blache but, once again, would leave the Redskins without a coordinator. Now maybe Blache is a lifer and has no intention of getting out of football. But if he'd rather be in retirement with his family, the Redskins might be repeating this whole charade in two years.
Blache's hiring was a peace offering, I suppose, and a good one at that. The players love him, he did alright in Chicago and molded Anthony Montgomery, Kedric Golston, Lorenzo Alexander and Chis Wilson, four unheralded players, into viable defensive players for the team.
So, with a solid west coast disciple in on offense and stability in the form of coaching on the defensive end, all the Redskins need is a head coach. And this is where the fun dread continues. On the bright side, if Zorn is Fassel's man and Zorn has already been hired, why is Fassel still unemployed? Couldn't they just have hired him last week? Because of this, I assume Fassel is no longer in the running to be head coach of the Washington Redskins. But you know what that old saying about assumptions: "You assume that a Hall of Fame Coach is going to hold sway over some wide-eyed nobody named Vinny but BAM then you play footsie with Jim Fassel, get caught and then kick his feet away looking for the next mediocre coach to flirt with." At least, I'm pretty sure that's how that went.
(And, yes, the picture above is of Doc Brown's DeLorean getting crushed by Doc Brown's Time Machine Train at the end of Back to the Future III.)

OK, Now It's Just Funny


From the Associated Press story about the dismissal of Gregg Williams and Al Saunders:

One current assistant whose job seems secure is special teams coach Danny Smith, who praised Zorn in the statement released by the team. "I'm thrilled to be able to work with him again," said Smith, who was a coach with Zorn on the Detroit Lions staff in 1999 and 2000.

To paraphrase Bob Dylan, "all my powers of expression and thoughts so sublime, could never do this coaching search justice, in reason or rhyme".

Gregg Williams: The Second "G" Is For Gone


Proving that the oft-quoted "NFL sources" know next-to-nothing, Gregg Williams will not be the next head coach of the Washington Redskins. He, along with Al Saunders, was fired today. Saunders firing came one day after Dinny (Dan Snyder/Vinny Cerrato) hired Jim Zorn to take Saunders place, despite the fact that Saunders still hadn't been released by the team. The new defensive coordinator will be Greg Blatche, who actually held that title this season, which means that the new Redskins defensive coordinator is actually the old Redskins defensive coordinator. (Williams was the assistant head coach - defense.) Now the team has two coordinators but no head coach. They won't hire a coach until after the Super Bowl, presumably because they want to talk to Giants defensive coordinator Steve Spaguolo. But it's worthless to presume anything about this debacle.
Williams was canned after the team finally began a smear campaign against him. It was too little, too late, of course. He had already received the public's sympathy and nothing Dinny did after was going to change that. They martyred Williams and turned the entire fanbase into his flock. Over 82% of people on a recent WashingtonPost.com poll thought Jim Fassel was either a "bad" or "horrible" choice to be head coach. Had this campaign on Williams began earlier, public perception might have been a little different.
I should mention that retaining Blatche is a much better move than hiring a new defensive coordinator, but then I'd have to praise Dinny and I'm just not prepared to do that right now.

The Carnage Continues
The Redskins Coaching Search: Day 17


Here's my question: If Dinny (writing Dan and Vinny became too superfluous; plus they're single-handedly disproving the old maxin "two heads are better than one" - they need a nickname) is completely against hiring Gregg Williams, why haven't they been leaking negative stuff to the press about him? Dinny knows that public perception of the Redskins is crucial, this is why Jim Fassel is still unemployed. So why have they failed to put out some on-the-record, unattributed stuff about him? Watch, it's easy:

According to senior team officials, Williams' defensive players became disenchanted with his abrasive coaching style late in the season. His standing was also hurt by poor interviews in which his leadership abilities came into question.

You see? And I just made that up in 15 seconds.
Yet through inaction, Dinny has turned Williams into a martyr. It's gotten so bad that people who were on the fence about him just two weeks ago (like me) are demanding that he be hired. The Redskins rarely lose PR battles, but they are getting killed on this one.

That's It, I'm Becoming a D.C. United Fan


I was half-kidding when I wrote yesterday that Dan Snyder probably cooled on Jim Fassel because on the public's negative reaction to the news of the impending hire. But that seems to be exactly what happened. Now Fassel feels manipulated, Gregg Williams probably wouldn't take the job if it was offered and Joe Gibbs is being forced to call his former employees to apologize for the actions of his former employer. (Or lack of action, I should say; Snyder has contacted any Redskins coach in two weeks.)
Today's article by Jason La Canfora and Jason Reid in The Washington Post is unbelievable - actually unbelievable. Some of the highlights:

Fassel's knowledge of the division from coaching NFC East rival New York is a large part of that coach's appeal as well, according to a source close to Fassel.

Familiarity with a division is grounds for hiring a coach? Why not just hire a scout then; I'm sure a bunch of them are familiar with all 32 teams! Better yet, call a guy who has the Sunday Ticket package on DirecTV. What does "knowledge of the division" even mean anyway? Fassel last coached in New York in 2004. Since then the Giants and Cowboys have almost completely turned over. And since Fassel would be in Washington, that means he'd have "knowledge" of just one team (Philly). But, again, I don't even know what "knowledge" means. Maybe Fassel knows all the good restaurants to hit up while on the road.

The inability to land his top-choice coordinators significantly weakened Fassel's position, with the Redskins becoming increasingly frustrated by league rules that limit contact with assistants who are under contract with other teams, according to a source who spoke to Cerrato.

You know what I'm frustrated with? Red lights. But I deal with my frustration because stopping at them is the law. They're frustrated by league rules. Seriously, this is pathetic.

The Redskins have told other parties that Williams remains a possibility as a head coach, but sources with ties to Williams said he might turn down an offer.

I really hope this happens. It'd be like in that episode of The Simpsons where Homer gets elected sanitation commissioner after making ridiculous promises to the voters. After spending his budget in two months the town goes into a trash crisis, kicks Homer out of office and votes to replace him with Ray Patterson, the sanitation commissioner Homer beat in the election. Upon hearing this news, Patterson addresses the citizens of Springfield by saying, "I'm not much on speeches, but it's so gratifying to leave you wallowing in the mess you've made. You're screwed, thank you, bye."
Read the article from The Post. It's simply remarkable. You couldn't make this shit up.

No Wonder Six Flags is Hemorrhaging Money

Question: What's even dumber than wanting to hire Jim Fassel as your head coach?
Answer: Making the inability to sign Jim Zorn a dealbreaker in your quest to hire Jim Fassel as a head coach.
Not that I want Fassel, mind you. But not getting Fassel because you can't get Zorn might be the most ridiculous thing that's happened yet in this 16 day coaching search. It's baffling. Zorn is a quarterbacks coach, for crap's sake. What makes him so special that your entire future hinges on acquiring him? And if Zorn is that great, why not just hire him to be head coach??!
I won't even get started on the Rex Ryan thing. As Phil said in yesterday's comments, the desire to get Ryan is strange because Ryan hasn't been all that impressive in Baltimore. And Phil is a Ravens fan!
These developments make me believe even stronger that Dan Snyder felt the backlash when the Fassel rumors emerged and changed his mind. Really, it's the only logical explanation. But seeing as how logic has played no role in any decision the Redskins have made since Joe Gibbs resigned, who knows.
It now looks like the Redskins won't hire a coach until after the Super Bowl which - I don't even know anymore. I give up.

Everything is Broken

Now The Washington Post is reporting that the Fassel/Zorn/Ryan trio is not the sure thing it appeared to be earlier today. Seattle wants Zorn to stay and the Ravens are probably holding out for three first-day draft picks for Rex Ryan, as they're dealing with Vinny Cerrato and could probably get the deed to FedEx Field if they worked him enough. Seriously, this is such a freakin' debacle. I've never been ashamed of the Redskins before, but I'm pretty close to that today.
Anyway, I have a theory about why the Fassel thing has cooled in the past few hours. Jason La Canfora writes on WashingtonPost.com:

The possible hiring of Fassel has been greeted with strong derision by fans, who filled the team-sponsored chat room and the comments section of the Washington Post's site with hundreds of anti-Fassel postings. The majority of calls to local sports talk radio stations have also been negative.

Here's what I'm thinking: Dan Snyder clearly is one of those guys who reads everything that's written about him. He's so desperate to impress and please people, he holds grudges against media members, it all fits. So what if after the Fassel rumors became serious, Snyder saw the immense and immediate public backlash and is now reconsidering his decision. It sounds preposterous, I know. But this is Daniel Snyder. He is (or was) apparently quite close to replacing Joe Gibbs with Jim Fassel. He authorized a statement yesterday that said Vinny Cerrato would have final say on roster moves. He hired Vinny Cerrato back after Cerrato was fired by Marty Schottenheimer. Anything is possible.
Just got off the phone with my buddy Ben. We vented for 15 minutes about how ridiculous this whole situation is. We bitched about all the normal stuff; how Fassel managed to make the inept Ravens offense even worse, how he was run out of town by his good friend, how he was recently rejected for a job by a 5-11 team, etc. Then Ben told a story about getting out of dinner on Sunday night and flipping on the radio. I'll paraphrase:

It's overtime in the NFC Championship and I can't figure out who's calling the game on the radio. Finally I realize it's Jim Fassel. First of all, I was disgusted he even HAD a job. Then I couldn't figure out why he was on until I remembered Boomer was in the studio with CBS, which means Fassel isn't even the #1 candidate to call a game ON THE RADIO.

What hath Dan Snyder wrought?

Dan Snyder Erases Four Years of Work by Joe Gibbs, Offers Jim Fassel Job

At least, that's the word coming out of Redskins Park. The Washington Post and other sources indicate that Jim Fassel will be named head coach of the Washington Redskins, with Seattle's Jim Zorn coming into replace Al Saunders as offensive coordinator. Dan Snyder wants Rex Ryan to be the team's defensive coordinator, but NFL rules prohibit Ryan from making a lateral move without his current employer's permission. This means Ryan will either get a fancy title or that Mr. Redskin himself, Vinny Cerrato, will give the Ravens seven first-day draft picks over the next three years for their defensive coordinator. No MSM-outlet has this news yet, but I don't care. I'm too pissed to wait for confirmation.
I'm so sick of this team I can't stand it. By hiring Fassel, Dan Snyder has turned his back on everything Joe Gibbs and his staff did in Washington. It's as if Snyder is bored by continuity and wants to spice things up just for the sake of it, only he uses the blandest spice imaginable to do so. And he does so on the recommendation of a line cook (Cerrato) instead of a five-star chef (Gibbs). That's what's so amazing about this whole thing: SNYDER IS LISTENING TO VINNY FUCKING CERRATO OVER JOE GIBBS. Who is Vinny Cerrato? What has he done to deserve such power? I don't get it. I really don't. I saw a great headline on a blog today that went something like "Vinny Cerrato Continues to Fail Upwards". I can't remember where I saw it, but I laughed out loud.
This was a playoff team in 2007. Why break it up? I wasn't gung-ho about Gregg Williams, but if it wasn't going to be him Snyder needed to bring in somebody fresh. But it should have been Williams. This team has a run in it. Just look at what the Giants did this year with much of the same cast as in their 2006 season, which ended in a Wild Card loss. I mean, it's not as if we're spoiled by playoff appearances here in D.C.. And now they're blowing this up? It's actually unbelievable. For real. Unbelievable.
Sometimes when I can't sleep I'll pop in Madden on my PS2 and begin a franchise, only instead of playing games I'll pick a team and completely overhaul it, making ridiculous trades, signing free agents to exorbitant contracts, etc. That's what Dan Snyder is doing with the Redskins. The only difference is, I can hit the reset button when I screw up.

Fassel to the Rescue?

Well, of course not. But Adam Schefter of the NFL Network reports Jim Fassel could be hired as the head coach of the Washington Redskins as early as tomorrow morning. Granted, Schefter is about a 50/50 proposition on these kinds of reports, but as this one meshes with my belief that Gregg Williams won't get the job, I'm inclined to believe it be terrified by it. My reaction to this possibility is pretty much the same as this guy's response to his on-air problem:

This is my favorite internet video of all-time, by the way. I can't believe I've never linked to it before now.

(Update: Jason La Canfora, who repeatedly wrote over the past two weeks that his sources assured him that Williams would be the choice, has now changed curses and hitched his wagon firmly in the Fassel/Rex Ryan camp. Like with Schefter, I have no clue what to make of this, other than that La Canfora either needs to get some new sources or stop publishing their rumormongering.)

Jim and Vinny
The Redskins Coaching Search: Day 13

As a Redskins fan, I thought this offseason had hit rock bottom when Joe Gibbs retired following a playoff loss that could have easily been a victory. Then the Giants, a team the Redskins thoroughly dismantled just 30 days ago, made the Super Bowl. But all that was nothing compared to today's double-dose of sobering news.
First, the Redskins have promoted Vinny Cerrato to the newly-created position of executive vice president of football operations. Wow, that's a really fancy title for "Yes Man". I wonder if this means Brandon Lloyd, Adam Archuleta and all of Cerrato's other wonderful acquisitions will be back in the burgundy and gold next season. Here's to hoping!
But, let's be honest: The only thing that's changed here is Cerrato's business card. Nobody really expected anything to change in the front office anyway. Why Danny feels the need to feed Vinny's ego with a fancy-sounding promotion is anyone's guess. I'm guessing it has something to do with the Napoleon Complex but, then again, I never took psych.
The Cerrato hire highlights the funniest part of this whole coaching search: Even the most optimistic hope is that Snyder screws this up as minimally as possible. Nobody expects this search to end well, we all just wish he doesn't mess it up too badly. If 'Skins fans wanted this overhaul to be a success, everyone would be clamoring for a young GM to come in and fix the personnel ship that has been sinking for the past seven years. We don't do this because everyone knows Snyder is content to maintain the status quo at Redskins Park despite the fact that his team doesn't draft well, has more bust free agents than successes and gets hosed in every trade they complete (hello T.J. Duckett). Perhaps the only thing Cerrato does right is not overpaying his own free agents like Fred Smoot (in 2004), Antonio Pierce and Derrick Dockery. But that's not saying much. (And it's also a stretch, as Cerrato really messed up by not re-signing Ryan Clark after the 2005 season. Much of the defense's 2006 struggles can be pinned on the decision to replace Clark with Archuleta. The difference between Clark and the others is that Cerrato decided he didn't want Clark at any price, preferring Archuleta. The others were slated to be re-signed, until other teams came in with ridiculous offers.)
Sadly, nobody talked about the possibility shaking up the front office because we all knew Snyder is too much of a control freak to let anybody other than Cerrato run the show. If Snyder hired somebody else, there's a chance he'd be out of the loop. And Daniel Snyder can't be out of the loop. This is why my expectations are so low with the coaching search. For as much as is made about Snyder always making a splash, he always makes the safe one. Snyder doesn't take risks. Oh, in retrospect you can argue that Steve Spurrier was a risk, but nobody believed it at the time.
Snyder's best, and safest, option this time is to hire Gregg Williams. (The two aren't necessarily mutually exclusive.) I wrote about this last week and won't bore you again with that. That I'm hoping Williams is the choice, but have serious doubts that he will be, speaks of my disregard for Snyder's hiring practices.
The worst, yet also safe, option would be to hire a retread coach who couldn't hack it on other NFC sidelines. Jim Mora was a hot candidate for a while, but withdrew his name. Jay Glazer of FOX Sports reports that the job was Mora's if he wanted it, but I don't buy that, especially with today's news that Mike Holmgren will be back in Seattle. The newest washed-up coach that has tickled Snyder's fancy is none other than - wait for it -Jim Fassel. That's in the "screwing up it royally" motif we discussed earlier. This is the same Fassel who was just rejected by the Chiefs for their open offensive coordinator position. I don't know if I can think of any hire that would be less exciting than Jim Fassel. The ex-Giants coach is like Gertrude Stein's Oakland: "There's no there there." Fassel is an alright coach, I guess. But he hasn't been on the sidelines for three years, was run out of Baltimore and was passed over by Kansas City for Chan Gailey. This is the guy Snyder wants to coach his billion-dollar team?
My cousin just texted me: "I can see it now. Fassel brings in Billick as OC". I meant to respond "Ha!" but my finger slipped from the 1 to the 4 when I tried to write the exclamation point and instead of "ha!" my text was sent as "gag". That pretty much sums up my reaction to this entire charade.

The Motion of the Ocean

Just finished watching the Georgetown/Syracuse game, which ended with the Hoyas sneaking out a two-point victory. The Orange lost thanks to an absymal 2-7 shooting performance from the free throw line in overtime. I think this was due, in large part, to the synchronized arm waving of the Georgetown student body. Seriously.
As the Syracuse shooter readied himself for the free throw, the students would collectively lean to their left, arms raised high in the air. At the instant the free throw shooter began his shot, the students quickly shifted their body and arm direction to the right, making a sort of visual wave effect. It was very disorienting, much moreso than a bunch of people waving their arms with no unity.
This theory in free throw distraction was popularized by a visual psychophysicist at the University of California-Davis who published his results in the journal Nature back in 2005. Daniel Engber from Slate explains:

If fans behind the backboard waved their balloons from side to side in unison, opposing players would perceive a field of background motion. When we see a moving background, we tend to assume that we're the ones moving and that the background is staying put. If everything on my desk suddenly drifted to the right, I would probably assume that my chair had rolled to the left. And if I were at the free-throw line as the world drifted to the right, my shooting motion would automatically compensate for what I perceived to be my own motion to the left. David Whitney, a visual psychophysicist at the University of California-Davis,* recently described this phenomenon in the lab. The results, published in Nature ("The influence of visual motion on fast reaching movements to a stationary object"), showed that a field of background motion can bias hand movements in the direction of that motion.

The Georgetown students seem to be doing this. This technique operates on the same principle as the "golfers and tennis players need silence" rule. Golfers and tennis players need complete silence when they play because a solitary noise (like a cough, photo click, cell phone ring, etc.) is so distracting when all else is quiet. Yet a pitcher has no problem throwing a fastball over a two-inch section of the plate with 50,000 people yelling since that collective sound is making a white noise that is easy to ignore. Visually, I think Whitney's research discovered the same concept.
The only part of the Georgetown game I saw was overtime, so I don't know if the fans were doing this all game. Syracuse finished 9-18 from the FT line, which means they were a reasonable 7-11 in regulation.
The article on Slate discusses how the Mavericks tried to implement this during one of their games, but had trouble successfully doing so because, among other reasons, it's tough to get a bunch of people to do anything in unison. I've seen a few other student bodies try this (but not Duke, as is suggested in the article) to varying degrees of success.
I don't know why it jumped out at me tonight, but it might have had something to do with the camera angle ESPN showed and the fact that the game was in HD. Out of the seven free throws I saw, the technique worked really well three times; meaning, I kind of lost my sense of balance watching it on TV. The other four times wasn't as good. Once the students were late, another time they were out of sync.
I'm not suggesting that this is the main reason Syracuse missed those free throws and lost the game, but I do think the Georgetown students are onto something. The FT distraction is real and, if used correctly, could provide a nice homecourt advantage at the Verizon Center.

Snap Judgments: Championship Game Edition

* LaDanian Tomlinson: If he's not seriously injured, LDT should be ripped for manning up and playing today. Clearly, I don't know the situation. But from the looks of it - LDT standing on the sidelines during the biggest game of his career - Tomlinson had given up and decided not to play through pain. If he was close to 100%, as he said, then play.
Unless it comes out this week that he had a partial tear of an ACL or MCL or some other knee-referencing acronym, Danie should be skewered in every form of media for his lack of passion, fortitude and balls. Get out there, man. Jack Youngblood played one of these title games with a broken freakin' leg.
The funniest part of the LDT saga was having to listen to Phil Simms repeatedly say that losing Tomlinson (the league's MVP just one year ago) wasn't "that big a deal for San Diego" because they have that big back Michael Turner. Simms was all over Turner's jock today for some reason. But, yes Phil. The Chargers surely didn't need the best goalline runner of all-time in the game where they were thrice in the Red Zone. Idiot.

* Tom Brady: Just because he's the best, doesn't mean it's sacareligious to say that he played very, very poorly today. I mean, I'm sure Moses had an off-day every once in a while when one of His sermons wasn't clicking. But at least Moses' errors were acknowledged by the church elders and he didn't have Phizekial Simms bailing him out.

* Brett Favre: Wasn't it a little strange that the one man the cold affected the most was the man who was thought to have the biggest advantage playing in the snow? Favre played miserably in Green Bay. He was back to his old self, slinging the ball downfield without regard for routes, coverages, wind patterns and situation and single-handedly gave the Giants the game. Favre looked miserable in the cold. He was constantly messing around with a heating bag, his nose looked like Ted Kennedy's after a particularly lengthy session at the bar and, most importantly, he was constantly doing something on the sidelines or on the field with the intention of getting warm. He'd go get the tea, then go sit in the chair, then mess with the pad, etc. He was freaked out!
Of course, we wouldn't have heard peep about this had the Packers scored quickly in overtime. As it is, with Favre's crippling pick (that the Wolfman imagines was very fun to throw) we still might not even hear the "Favre Blew It" storyline this week.

* Sitting courtside: Just got back from the Bullets/Mavs game, where my buddy Russ and I sat courtside. It was pretty awesome. Once he uploads the pics to his computer, I'll post some of them here.

Wind Chill is for Commies

In a course that began Monday, my professor had our small class do interviews with each other as an ice-breaking activity. One of the questions was to name two things you think everyone in the class should know about you. This was an easy question.
Most important, of course, was that I was still in mourning over the Redskins' playoff loss. Secondly, I wanted everyone to know that I think wind chill is a huge crock. This led to a somewhat-lengthy roundtable discussion on the topic and included me putting up this seminal (to me, at least) article debunking the wind chill myth on the projector and reading excerpts aloud to the class. It sounds ridiculous but I assure you that it was, um, completely ridiculous. Damn. (In my defense, almost everyone in the class knew each other from previous classes, so this wasn't their first encounter with me. I mean, it's not like I go up to people at cocktail parties and introduce myself by saying, "Hi, I'm Chris and wind chill is a statistic shoved down our throats by the meteorological brass trying to promote their own, hysteria-inducing agenda." I only do that at weddings.)
Anyway, I hate wind chill. I bring this up because of this ridiculous paragraph that appears in an AP story about the frigid temps tonight in Green Bay:

The coldest game in NFL history was not the 1967 NFL title game at Lambeau Field when the Packers beat Dallas 21-17 in the Ice Bowl. It was minus 13 that day and the wind chill factor was estimated at minus 48.
But in the 1981 AFC championship game, while the temperature was minus-9, the wind chill plunged to minus-59 at Cincinnati as the Bengals beat San Diego 27-7.

The next graf, by the way, is simply "BRRRRRR!!!!!" I shit you not. Apparently the Associated Press is hiring nine-year old girls to write their copy.
So, I'm confused here. Does the NFL and/or AP recognize a contrived meteorological statistic over the actual temperature in determining weather-related records? Or, as my buddy Jaf asked, is it just one AP reporter who hasn't taken a math class since 12th grade, deciding that wind chill is the determining factor. Either way, it's ridiculous. Minus 13 is colder than minus 9, meaning the Ice Bowl game is, indeed, the coldest NFL game on record. (I also wonder whether those wind chills were determined by using the old, more-unreliable equation, as described in that Slate article.)
On a related note, I love how people in the media seem to think that the cold weather in Lambeau tonight isn't bad news for the Giants. "They play in cold weather all the time," said Ron Jaworski, or at least he said something along those lines. That may be true, but the one time this year that the Giants played in really cold weather, they got knocked around at home by the Redskins. Eli played terribly, the receivers couldn't catch and Brandon Jacobs ran like he was the Charmin Baby. (Soft.)
The Packers are the pick, unless the following scenario posed by Jaf occurs:

Charles Woodson playing in a big playoff game in extreme weather again leads me to one conclusion: He will strip Eli of the ball late in the 4th, the call will be overturned for some reason that won't be adequately explained for the remainder of time, the Giants will go on to stun the "sure thing" team from the other conference, and then win 2 to 3 more Super Bowls within the next 5 years.

BRRRRR!!!!!
As for the Pats/Chargers, anybody who's picking against New England is just doing so to be contrary. However, nobody is really talking about how the Patriots have played in four close games since Thanksgiving. Their games against Baltimore, Philly and the Giants were all tossups and Jacksonville would have been right there if Dennis Northcutt could catch. I'm not saying I think New England is going to lose, but their defense is porous enough where this could be closer than anybody thinks.

Nine Out of Ten Sources Agree!

Gregg Williams, the Redskins' assistant head coach-defense, is seen by many around the league as the leading candidate to succeed Joe Gibbs.
"Mora Joins List of Interviewees" - The Washington Post - January 17, 2008

Washington Redskins assistant coach Gregg Williams met with management about the team's head coaching position for the fourth time yesterday, taking another step in a process that many NFL sources expect will end with him succeeding Joe Gibbs.
"Colts Assistants Set to Talk to Redskins" - The Washington Post - January 16, 2008

The Washington Redskins will interview Indianapolis Colts assistant coaches Jim Caldwell and Ron Meeks, possibly today, continuing a process that many NFL sources expect will end with Redskins assistant Gregg Williams becoming the team's next head coach.
"Williams Interviews for Fourth Time" - The Washington Post - January 15, 2008

The Washington Redskins are expected to attempt to interview Indianapolis assistant coaches Ron Meeks and Jim Caldwell this week now that the Colts have been eliminated from the playoffs, while NFL sources continue to maintain that Redskins assistant Gregg Williams is the front-runner for the job.
"Redskins May Target Colts Assistants" - The Washington Post - January 14, 2008

Gregg Williams was interviewed for the Washington Redskins' head coaching vacancy yesterday, according to sources with knowledge of the situation, while numerous NFL executives and agents continue to say they believe he is the favorite to get the position.
"Williams Interviews for Redskins Vacancy" - The Washington Post - January 13, 2008

Washington Redskins assistant coach Gregg Williams met with management about the team's head coaching position for the fourth time yesterday, taking another step in a process that many NFL sources expect will end with him succeeding Joe Gibbs.
"Schwartz First to Interview" - The Washington Post - January 11, 2008

Far be it from me to contradict the expectations of "numerous" NFL sources, but each day that a variation of "Gregg Williams is the leading candidate to coach the Redskins" appears in the paper cannot be a good day for Williams' chances. Jason La Canfora at The Post has been the author (or co-author) of all those stories about the Redskins coaching search and he seems adament in his belief that Williams will be the guy. I'm not saying he won't be, but I'm sure a lot more skeptical than La Canfora. If Snyder really wanted Williams, he'd be hired already. Maybe Snyder will eventually convince himself that Williams is the best candidate for the job, but this early-skepticism can't bode well for the defensive coordinator even if he gets it. At this point though, I'm not sure he will.

The Rooney Rule

Question of the Day:
If the Redskins were to interview Norm Chow, would that comply with the Rooney Rule?

Chow is an Asian-American man, meaning he is part of a minority group in both the United States and in NFL coaching ranks. Would interviewing him satisfy the NFL's rules for minority hiring practices? I'm not being flippant about this. Does anybody really know what the rule stipulates? Could the Redskins comply by interviewing a Hispanic coach, a Jewish coach or a female coach? What is the definition of "minority" in regard to this hiring rule? Is there anything on the books about this? After some extensive internet research (looking up the "Rooney Rule" on Wikipedia), I have yet to see anything written about which racial/ethnic groups are defined as minority by the NFL. Anyone?

Bring Me The Head of Alfredo Garcia
The Redskins Coaching Search: Day 6

For me, the Redskins coaching search is a lot like the 2008 Presidential Election. I'm very interested in who gets each gig, but I'm not particularly fond of any of the candidates, nor do I have any faith in the people involved in the selection process (for the 'Skins, Daniel Snyder; for the president, the American people).
Ideally, the Redskins would grab an up-and-coming, off-the-radar young coach, pair him with a savvy GM and set-up a Gibbs/Beathard combo for the new millennium. But that would require an ability to evaluate talent, an acceptance that the current Snyder/Cerrato combo is a complete mess and patience, none of which Daniel Snyder has. Instead, the Redskins are left with a rather uninspiring list of coaching candidates. Some are good enough to give the team hope, but none give me much confidence that we won't be right back in this situation in January, 2011.

The Candidates
Gregg Williams
The Redskins defensive coordinator is the supposed front-runner to succeed Gibbs, but I have to think that the longer this coaching search drags on, the worse it is for Williams. Dan Snyder is many things, but patient isn't one of them. Steve Spurrier, Marty Schottenheimer and Joe Gibbs were all hired almost immediately after the position was open. Seeing how Snyder knows Williams and what he's about, why the delay? Maybe it's just to a stall-tactic to comply with the flawed Rooney Rule. I don't know. But if Snyder still isn't convinced that he wants Williams to be his next head coach, then I don't think he'll ever be.
I've hemmed and hawed about who I want the Redskins to hire and, I suppose, Williams is the most logical choice. This team is capable of contending in the NFC as is; to bring in a new system could endanger that, particularly with a young quarterback. It's important to remember that Jason Campbell still only has 20 NFL starts under his belt. His career could go either way right now. I wouldn't be surprised if he takes his given talent, poise and command of the huddle and becomes a Pro Bowl quarterback. Nor would I be surprised if he proves unable to run an offense and embarks on a career as a backup for five different teams. This coaching move might be the thing that sways Campbell either way, which is why I reluctantly want Williams.
I'm far from rooting for Double-G though. How soon we forget that Williams' time in Buffalo was characterized by poor player management and a disgruntled locker room. And wasn't it just one year ago that Williams' defense was the laughingstock of the NFL; both for their ineffective play and the chaos that went on behind the scenes? This is supposed to be the guy to finish off what Joe Gibbs' began?
One of the biggest things Williams has going for him is the support of the players. Who knows how much play this will get in the decision, but the media has certainly been lapping it up. If you think about it though, player support is pretty worthless in this instance.
First of all, it's only logical that most Redskins players would want Williams to be the coach. They know him, they're familiar with him and they could even respect him. Considering how Williams handled the Sean Taylor situation this winter and was able to honor the player's memory while still putting out a top-notch unit, it's likely the pro-Williams sentiment on the defense increased even more.
Of the players who want Williams, some might have genuine fondness for the coach but others might see it as a "better the devil you know" type of situation, where they'll feel more comfortable with a guy they might not like, but that's at least predictable. Guys like Reed Doughty or Kedric Golston, young players who weren't highly-touted, cannot be eager to see a new regime come on. They have proven themselves capable of playing in Williams' system, but might be expendable if somebody else comes in. Of course they want Williams to stay. It's job security.
But let's say that some players don't particularly like Williams, don't have much respect him and aren't all that fond of his schemes. And that player gets asked, "do you want Gregg Williams as your coach?" You think they're going to say "no"? Answering "yes" is the only reasonable way to respond, despite their actual desire to see somebody else besides Williams get the job. Most players aren't stupid enough to call-out their coordinator that could soon become their head coach. A "yes" is an easy answer, even if not an honest one. It's the football-equivalent of a woman asking if she looks fat. There's only one answer and one way to give said answer: Look the questioner right in the eyes and answer with total conviction and then change the subject immediately.

Bill Cowher
Just as the length of this coaching search makes me skeptical that Snyder is really gung ho about Williams, it equally makes me think that the owner is still trying to make a play at Bill Cowher. Snyder not going after Cowher would be like a dog not chasing a cat; it's just not in their nature. Hopefully, Danny Boy has changed because the Bill Cowher he might hire isn't the Bill Cowher who was in Pittsburgh.
If Snyder were trying to lure that Bill Cowher, the head coach, I'd say to give the man whatever he wanted to come to Washington. But apparently Coach Bill Cowher comes in a package deal this time around with GM Bill Cowher. This should be an immediate dealbreaker. The "cook the groceries/shop for the groceries" thing doesn't work, especially with an unproven talent evaluator like Cowher making the list. Coaches who want to be GMs remind me of singers who want to start becoming songwriters. Why do people assume that being good at one thing in a field automatically makes them good at a completely separate thing in said field? The guy who delivers The Washington Post to my place does a damn fine job of getting it on the doorstep every morning. That doesn't mean I want him writing the articles though.
Because everybody (correctly) assumes that Snyder will go after the biggest fish in the sea, one key fact is being ignored: Snyder has already gone the Cowher-route before. When Marty Schottenheimer was hired to succeed Norv Turner, Dan Snyder gave him full control of football operations. Snyder, being the control freak he is, hated it. Marty had the Redskins cruising at the end of 2001, finishing on an 8-3 run after a disappointing 0-5 start. There was every reason to think that Marty would be back for 2002 to lead the Redskins to the playoffs and lose in an untimely fashion. But, of course, Snyder canned him for Steve Spurrier.
Since the only real difference between Cowher and Schottenheimer is playoff success (not a pertinent issue at hiring time when your team has made the playoffs three times in 15 seasons), why would Snyder tie his own hands once again? I'll answer my own question: Because Dan Snyder loves making off-season waves.
New subject: Let's assume that Cowher is eventually going to return to coaching in the NFL, whether it be this year or some years down the road. From all his public statements, this seems like a fair guess. At some point in the near future, Cowher will be a head coach in the NFL. So, if Dan Snyder puts a huge offer on the table (let's say it's $8 million per, $2 million less than the rumored amount of $10 million that has been circulating) and Cowher rejects it, he's an idiot. Because in 2008 and 2009, there will be no better situation for Bill Cowher than in Washington D.C..
It's close to his family in North Carolina, he'll have an owner who will pay whatever to whomever, it's a prestigious franchise with a rabid fanbase and, oh yeah, he'll get $8 to $10 million for the honor. No other franchise can match the proximity, ownership and franchise prestige that Cowher is seeking. It's not even close. If he's planning on coming back, he'd be inane not to take this job now before it's too late. What's going to be open next season? Philadelphia? Awful fanbase, succeeding a Cowher-clone, minus the ring. New York? Not if the Giants go to the Super Bowl this season. And does Cowher really want to put up with that media? Buffalo? They might be in Toronto in three years. Maybe Tennessee could be a destination if Jeff Fisher retires, but Cowher can't exactly bank on that, can he? Plus, Snyder has been known to pay tha cost 2 be tha bo$$; and it will likely be for more money than Cowher will get anywhere else, by far. So unless this whole "staying close to family" thing is bullshit, Cowher would be a moron to pass up this job if it's offered to him.That being said, I hope he does.

Jim Schwartz
Schwartz is a pupil of Gregg Williams. He succeeded him as Titans defensive coordinator and learned the trade under his old boss. From all accounts, Schwartz is intelligent (he went to Georgetown) and doesn't resort to football conventions and has a tough-streak in him. If he could be hired without blowing up either side of the ball, he'd be my favorite candidate for the job. However, he'd likely bring in his own people to run the offense while keeping the defense similar. As I stated above, that frightens me. But, on the flip side, maybe it would mean Danny Smith would be out of work too. And that thought puts a smile on my face.

Jim Caldwell
Easier jobs than being Peyton Manning's quarterbacks coach:
1) Coordinator of Super Bowl parades, city of Philadelphia. *
That's it. That's the only easier job in the world than the one Jim Caldwell has. Yet somehow, Caldwell is an oft-mentioned name for team's head coaching vacancies.
Look, I like Jim Caldwell. He was the head coach at Wake Forest when I arrived there in 1999 and he seemed like a very nice guy. His players liked him, the alumni did too, it was a nice lovefest, southern style. But Caldwell's done nothing to demonstrate that he is capable of taking over as a head coach for an NFL team. This doesn't mean he isn't capable, mind you. It just means that there's no evidence he is.
Caldwell lasted eight years at Wake, compiling a record that's too ugly for me to bother looking up. (Let's just say it's not listed in his bio on the Colts or Wake Forest web sites.) When he was losing with the Deacs, Caldwell had the built-in excuse that it was impossible to win in Winston-Salem, so nobody gave him too much grief. Run a clean, honest program, graduate players and say the right things to the press. That's all anyone expected of Caldwell in Winston-Salem. He probably kept his job a little longer than he should have but, again, with low expectations come low standards. Since Caldwell was canned in 2000, though, Jim Grobe has shown that it is possible to win at Wake. (Although that's more a testament to Grobe than a knock on Caldwell. Not many coaches could do what Grobe has done at Wake.) Caldwell's entire run at the school is neatly summed up by this unintentionally-hilarious excerpt from his profile on the Colts website:

Caldwell spent 1993-2000 as head coach at Wake Forest. In 1999, Caldwell led the school to its first winning season and bowl game since 1992.

Anyway, after finally getting fired in Winston-Salem, Caldwell met up with Tony Dungy in Tampa and followed him to Indianapolis. This apparently makes his qualified to succeed Dungy. Whatever.
There's no shot the Redskins hire Caldwell. Do you think there's any way Dan Snyder would hire a guy whose Wikipedia entry looks like this?
* By the way, I completely stole that from an old Letterman Top 10 List.

Jim Mora Jr.
He is reportedly interviewing tomorrow. Seriously, I'll stop being a Redskins fan if he gets the job. For real. Other than acquiring Rodney Harrison, I don't think any man, woman or child the Redskins could get would ever inspire that sentiment within me. I'd take Brian Billick and Mike Nolan's man-child before Mora Jr.. Even though I'm convinced this won't happen, I'm still petrified of it. It haunts me in my dreams; the beady eyes, the smelling salt-laden pep talks, the smarmy self-satisfied attitude. Please no, Danny. Anyone but Mora Jr.. His father, on the another hand? Now we can talk, my friends.

Jim Fassel
Maybe Danny Boy just has a thing for guy's named Jim. I wonder if this means my brother-in-law is going to get a phone call from Redskins Park soon?

Denny Green
He is who we think he is. And he won't let us off the hook.

Upcoming: Handicapping the Redskins Coaching Search

Over the past few days I've been jotting down my thoughts about Gregg Williams (eh), Bill Cowher ($igh), Jim Caldwell (for real?), Russ Grimm (perhaps) and the other men currently up for the job as head coach of the Washington Redskins. Still haven't put it all together yet, but am trying to do so before tomorrow, just in case Danny Boy hops to it and hires a coach, thus relegating all I've written about why hiring Bill Cowher would be a disaster to the recycling bin. So, stop by tomorrow afternoon when I'll be making the half-hearted case for Gregg Williams to be the successor to Joe Gibbs. Very half-hearted.

I Wonder How Jessica Simpson Feels About Dating Choking Losers

Along with libel and publishing national security secrets, criticizing Tony Romo must be one of the few freedoms not enjoyed by the press in this country. How else to explain why Romo is getting off scot-free for completely melting down in the second half of today's divisional playoff game? He was awful; almost single-handedly blowing the game for his 13-3 team, yet the media is ignoring this fact completely. I suppose after the 16-month media deification of Romo, they must be resistant to using His name in vain.
I haven't seen anybody choke that badly since Chris Webber traveled and called a timeout he didn't have in a four-second span during the 1993 NCAA National Championship Game. Yet, to listen to the press, Romo merely had a rough fourth quarter after playing fun, magical ball during the first three. This guy could run over a dog with his car and people would hail him for helping to control the pet population.
Instead of Romo's meltdown, the storyline that has emerged from the Cowboys/Giants game is Eli Manning leading his team to an NFC Championship. (Forget that, while Eli played a fine game, he was hardly the best player on the field for the Giants.)
Conversely, Romo was awful at the end of the game for Dallas. He took two unfathomable sacks in the fourth quarter, earned an inexplicable intentional grounding call while standing in the middle of the pocket, called a crippling timeout as the play clock expired, almost earned a delay of game penalty following that timeout, lost his composure with his teammates, officials and coaches and, generally, looked like he was experiencing a complete meltdown. Man, it was so awesome.
Of course, nobody is talking about this right now. It's all about Eli or Wade Phillips or how the Cowboys' collapse was a "team effort". Sure it was; everyone contributed to the loss. But Romo was the main contributer. He was like the guy at the benefit who gives $10,000 and gets his name atop the program while the rest of the team were the donors listed en masse in the $500 Friends category. (Patrick Crayton might be a step-up from that low-level because of the play where he stopped running on one play late in the game. As for Roy Williams, he sponsored the whole event because he not good at football.)
The AP game recap touches on Romo's play and, of course, the Jessica Simpson thing, but bails him out by not attributing the timeouts or sacks to Romo himself. (Yes, the sacks weren't helped the Cowboys o-line, but Romo had ample opportunity to get rid of the ball on both the sacks. He panicked instead. It was delightful.)
So, in The Savior's two playoff games he has: Frittered away a 4th-quarter lead at home against a banged up secondary and mishandled an easy snap on a game-winning field goal. Romo should be developing a reputation as a choker, but instead I think we're going to see the "successful player battles playoff ghosts" story be played up by the press for the forseeable future. And that's just crap. The Giants are not good. Without Shockey, they really had no business beating the Cowboys. But with the ineffectiveness of Roy Williams and late-game freakout by Romo, the Giants sneaked into the NFC Championship Game where they'll lose to destiny in the form of Brett Favre.
You realize we're looking at a Favre/Brady Super Bowl, right? Newspaper articles about the two will have to be printed on sheets of taffy to counterbalance the treacle of the text. And if not Favre, then we'll have to deal with two weeks of "is Eli actually the better Manning brother?" This could get ugly real fast, but not as ugly as Tony Romo's fourth quarter today. Because that... That was as beautiful as ugly gets.

As You Can Tell, My Saturday Has Been Jam-Packed

"When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer."

- Plutarch (And Hans Gruber)

For the record, I actually broke the 100 point barrier (108 to be exact), but it appears that Tecmo Super Bowl's scoreboard is like that of a crappy high school gymnasium: They both stop at 99. And, yes, I'm a little disappointed that it took 21 rushes to get Bo Jackson's 784 yards; my concentration lapsed in the middle of the second quarter when I was on the phone and had two poor runs.

Breaking News: Brady Beats Obama and Clinton In New Hampshire!

When ESPN put a "PATRIOTS" label on their ticker a few months back, I thought their unabashed love of all things New England had hit its zenith. As is commonplace, I was completely wrong. This week, ESPN.com put up a list of the Top 25 Greatest Individual Seasons of All-Time. As lists go, ESPN has done worse, but one entry on their most recent work overshadows everything else. Snuggled at #6 in between Barry Sanders' 1988 and Tiger Woods' 2000 is - wait for it - Tom Brady's 2007. Of course it is.
Look, I know everyone loves to be an instant historian, especially ESPN. I can't entirely blame them; it's the network's job to hype sports and placing recent events in a larger context is a great way to do so. But, come on guys. Brady's 2007? He had a great, great season. But it wasn't even the best quarterbacking season in the past four years, let alone of all-time!!! (Yeah, that's right, I went for the triple exclamation point and regret nothing.)
In terms of recent quarterbacking seasons, Peyton Manning's 2004 was better than Tom Brady's 2007. Hands down. Brady might have a slight edge in yards and touchdown passes, but he did so by throwing the ball 81 more times than Peyton in 2004. Considering that many of those throws came late in the game when the Pats were running up the score against a disinterested opponent and Brady's numbers look even less impressive in comparison. Manning posted a much higher YPA (yards per attempt) which, according to Dr. Z., is the best way to evaluate a quarterback's statistically. Peyton even had a higher quarterback rating which, according to Dr. Z., is the worst way to evaluate a quarterback statistically. The point is, Manning was better in both stats. Fifty touchdowns has a nice look to it, but it really doesn't mean all that much more than 49. It's just rounder and has a better gift on anniversaries.
This isn't to say that Brady didn't have a magnificent 2007. Clearly he did. But throwing one more touchdown pass in 81 attempts doesn't make it better than Manning's. Nor does the undefeated record. That makes Brady's team season better, but not his individual one. But I wouldn't expect ESPN, blinded by their Pats-love, to notice that. The most amazing thing about this is that Peyton's 2004 season, the one that was better than ESPN's #6 season of all-time, isn't even on the list. But I guess what's the most surprising is that they didn't have Brady at #1.

At Least It's Not The World Series of Poker

It's easy to call ESPN "morally corrupt" for broadcasting high school sporting events; many people have done so in the past few years after the practice took flight when Lebron James was a senior at St. Vincent-St. Mary in Akron. I really don't care all that much. If ESPN wants to broadcast these things, more power to them. I don't have to watch them if I don't want to. (Frankly, I think it's the school administrators that allow these events to be televised that are truly at fault. ESPN isn't supposed to have the best interest of kids at heart, schools are. But that's a topic for another day.)
I bring this all up because tonight there's a compelling game that I do want to watch being shown on ESPN2. At 7:00 in the Old Spice High School Showcase, Helen Cox (La.) squares off against Norcross (Ga.) in a matchup of two of the most highly-regarded seniors in the country. Cox features #1 national recruit Greg Monroe, who recently committed to Georgetown. Norcross is led by Al-Farouq Aminu, ranked as the #1 power forward by a number of recruiting services. Aminu is part of the big three that will begin attending Wake Forest next fall. My sincere hope is that this game is a preview of the 2009 Final Four. (Hey; in the last five days the Redskins lost in the playoffs and Joe Gibbs retired. I need something to look forward to.)

Update (7:29 p.m.): I figured I'd watch a little bit of the game and then get bored and turn off the TV... I was wrong. Aminu and Monroe are taking it to one another, with Aminu winning the early battle by taking Monroe hard off the dribble twice. But, Monroe just threw down a monster dunk on Aminu to give him one for the highlight reel. Aminu plays defense, has great court vision and moves well for his lanky, 6'8'' frame. He has 12 points and 4 boards through the game's first 12 minutes. And, yes, I'm officially getting way too excited about a dude who just turned 17 in September. Fourteen points now on a fadeaway from the foul line. Way too excited.

Off Into the Sunset

Joe Gibbs returned to the Redskins on January 7, 2004. It's no coincidence that this blog was born that very same day. Gibbs had always been my sports hero; the man who had led my beloved Washington Redskins to three Super Bowl with three different quarterbacks and whose absence the team had never been able to get over. When the stunning news broke that Gibbs would return to the franchise he had taken to the NFL's summit, I felt the need to do something - anything - to show what this meant to me as a fan. So I created a Blogger account and posted my euphoric thoughts on what the return of Joe Gibbs meant to the Redskins. And while that second tenure with the team wasn't as successful as everyone (including me) had hoped on that chilly afternoon four years ago, one thing hasn't changed: In my book, Joe Gibbs is still the greatest.
Some will call Gibbs' comeback a failure. From a won/loss standpoint, maybe it was. Gibbs, who had the third highest winning percentage of any coach in NFL history prior to his comeback, finished five games below .500 during his second go-round in D.C.. Those losses included games where Gibbs' staff botched crucial decisions, made egregious mistakes and presided over teams that couldn't hold onto leads. There were times when the Redskins looked like a poorly-coached football team. After Jason Campbell went down with a season-ending injury though, it looked more and more like the only thing Gibbs and his staff were guilty of was a lack of confidence in their young quarterback. His two point conversion decisions and use of timeouts on Sundays were suspect, but hardly an indicator of senility like some churlish hacks seemed to suggest.
Gibbs' coaching greatness came mainly on the other six days of the week, anyway. Like Red Auerbach, Gibbs was of the belief that the bulk of coaching came during practice and in game-planning. And, as was evident over the past month, Gibbs was a genius in player motivation. Nobody else could have had the Redskins ready to play just 72 hours after burying their All-Pro teammate and 96 hours after a crushing loss that should have had everyone packing it in for the season. The Redskins didn't and, four wins later, went to Seattle where they lost a playoff game in a tough atmosphere that they were in control of early in the fourth quarter.
From the sound of today's press conference, the loss in Seattle played no role in Gibbs' departure. He sounded like a man whose mind was made up weeks ago. My mom even predicted it. After seeing Gibbs linger on the field following the playoff-clinching win over Dallas, she texted me with her opinion that he was gone. (The on-field display garnered some attention today, so much so that Gibbs was asked about in the presser - he said he did it after every season, just in case - but I didn't read one thing about it in the week following the act.) After yesterday's strange press conference, when Gibbs refused to commit to much of anything, let alone coming back for a fifth year, I wrote my buddy The Wolfman, "gibbs is going to retire. i have the feeling. his press conference today was very weird." Today, he confirmed those fears.
The only way Joe Gibbs knows how to coach football is to put in 19-hour days and sleep on a cot in the office. When he came back in 2004, he said he'd try to avoid that at all costs. He knew it was a pipe dream. So, when Gibbs realized that all the hours and time and angst were keeping him from his family, he made the only choice that he could make: Give up the football. Joe Gibbs doesn't make compromises. He doesn't go halfway. If he couldn't be 100% into the Redskins, he knew he had to quit, because giving 99% would have been a foreign concept to him.
Today's press conference was boilerplate Gibbs. He thanked a laundry list of people, made numerous reference to Redskins fans ("they're always there, it doesn't matter what the weather is," a quote which has to be a knock at Giants fans who avoided the Meadowlands like the plague during a cold, windy night three weeks ago) and invoked God's name often. Gibbs was eloquent and funny; his words heartfelt. It's clear that he is a genuinely good man. Washingtonians' love for Gibbs isn't based on victories or trophies or playoff apperances, it's different. It's real.
That's why his players loved him too. It's why they fought so hard for him and why they were so pleased to contribute to his success. Watch other teams celebrate big wins. Most times, the players run out onto the field, leaving the coach behind to trot out for the post-game handshake. Gibbs always had players around him at the final whistle though. Clinton Portis, Mike Sellers, Mark Brunell and Rock Cartwright, to name a few, constantly huddled around Gibbs after each win, patting their coach on the back and giving him hugs. That sort of stuff happens on other sidelines during Championship games and Super Bowls, but not during the regular season. It's a sign of the respect that players had for Joe Gibbs.
Gibbs neither tarnished nor enhanced his legacy during his comeback. Frankly, nothing he did this time around would have taken away from the three Super Bowls and great successes he had during the 1980's. The second coming will be remembered for the two playoff appearances, injuries and, sadly, the death of Sean Taylor. That somber reminder was on display today as Gibbs wore a black "21" lapel pin during his 45-minute talk with the press. Had Taylor not been killed, it's difficult to say whether Gibbs would have returned. It doesn't much matter now, but I think there's a decent chance he would have. The stress involved in the past five weeks would have tested the strength of men half Gibbs' age, let alone ones with diabetes and a sick grandchild. That Gibbs made it through looking as composed as he did on the day he accepted the job four years ago is a testament to his will.
Unlike the first time he retired, Gibbs leaves behind a strong Redskins team. As Peter King wrote today, Gibbs' greatest accomplishment might have been in teaching Dan Snyder the value of patience in team-building. This Redskins team wasn't built overnight, the key players who came in under Gibbs were picked in different drafts (Jason Campbell, Laron Landry, Chris Cooley), trades (Clinton Portis, Santana Moss) and free agency (London Fletcher, Cornelius Griffin, Antwan Randle-El). There wasn't one off-season bonanza like in year's past (despite what Len Pasquarelli writes every March). Instead, Gibbs has selectively added parts to make a cohesive team.
This is why I reluctantly think Gregg Williams should be the next head coach of the Washington Redskins. He's had his troubles as a head coach before and last year was a debacle for many reasons, but going outside of the organization would undo the continuity and sense of family Joe Gibbs has instilled in these Redskins. With a similar system next year, some good off-season acquisitions and a healthy roster, there's no reason the 2008 Redskins can't duplicate the success that the 2007 Cowboys had after Bill Parcells left. Jerry Jones saw the wisdom in not tearing down what Parcells had built. Hopefully Dan Snyder will do the same with Gibbs' teams. Just because the coach leaves, doesn't mean the roster needs an overhaul. This team is on the right track. Bill Cowher might be nice, but if he doesn't have the talent, it won't much matter.
And that's the main lesson from Gibbs 2.0: Coaching can only go so far. Without a great GM or front office, even the best coaches will struggle. That was the main problem with Gibbs' return. Injuries played a huge role in each of the four years (Jon Jansen x2, Randy Thomas x2, Shawn Springs, Carlos Rogers, Santana Moss, Clinton Portis, Jason Campbell, Mark Brunell and Cornelius Griffin were only some of the starters who missed significant time over the past four seasons), but the lack of quality depth in each of the first three years were what really killed the team.
Some are saying that Gibbs the man is better than Gibbs the coach. I say they're equally great. But, doubtlessly, Gibbs the man and coach are far better than Gibbs the GM. In his first tenure, Gibbs had the great Bobby Bethard bringing in players. This time, Gibbs and a committee that included Dan Snyder and Vinny Cerrato were responsible for personnel. It didn't work. Parcells always grumbled about how the guy cooking the meal should be able to shop for the groceries. Unfortunately, cooking the meal isn't an all-consuming gig like coaching football is. Head coach of an NFL team and general manager of an NFL team are two separate jobs. Combining them would be like having the president serve as Senate Majority Leader, or the principal of a school doing double-time as a third-grade teacher. This is why I don't want Cowher within two states of Redskins Park. He's a great coach, but word is he'll only come to D.C. if he gets full control. That's not what the Redskins need. (And I have my doubts, despite all the reports, about whether Dan Snyder will actually cede that power to Cowher. Wasn't that the problem with Marty Schottenheimer?)
I think Gibbs knows this, which is why he was subtly lobbying for Williams during the press conference. He said about Snyder's impending search, "I kinda know how Dan feels about things. I think his feelings are a lot like everyone's around here." Seeing as how the players all want Williams, that seemed to be a nudge in his direction.
But today isn't about the next coach of the Redskins, it's about the last. While I'm sad to see Joe Gibbs go, part of me is relieved. Every Redskins loss over the past few years has been doubly painful because I always felt bad for Coach Joe. He worked so hard and wanted to win so badly that the dropped balls, blown coverages and botched field goals took on greater significance. They weren't just hurting the Redskins, they were hurting my sports hero.
I'll miss the folksy attitude and sincere manner. I'll miss the Monday sitdowns with George Michael and Sonny Jurgensen. I'll miss Don Breaux and Bubba Tyer and, most of all, Joe Bugel, the unsung hero of the Redskins who got the most out of every player that lined up on the offensive line. (Without Jansen and Thomas, that o-line had no business being as good as it was. It's a testament to Bugel's coaching ability that was never more evident than in Stephon Heyer, an undrafted rookie who was the catalyst to the 'Skins improved running game during the four-game playoff run.) I'll miss his integrity and class. But most of all, though, I'll miss knowing that every Sunday, the Redskins would be more prepared, more inspired and more ready to play than the team they were facing. Disagree all you want about anything else - clearly I'm an unabashed Gibbs homer through and through - but you can't deny that over the past four years, the Redskins went into every game ready to play. After 12 years of Norv Turner, Marty Schottenheimer and Steve Spurrier, that was a welcome sight, indeed. Gibbs might not have won a Super Bowl here, but he accomplished another goal: He brought pride back to the Redskins. The state of the franchise is good.
Near the end of his final press conference as head coach of the Washington Redskins, Joe Gibbs reflected on his time in the Nation's Capital. He spoke of the love fans showered upon him, even in the down times, of how this was the greatest franchise in sports and of how he will be a Washingtonian and a Redskin for life. "I was always treated better than I deserve here," Gibbs said. No you weren't, Joe. If anything, you deserved even better.

Joe Gibbs Retires

After the Redskins beat the Cowboys nine days ago to clinch a playoff spot, my mom texted me:

joe is gone after season taking too long to leave the field

I also noticed that Joe Gibbs took his time walking off FedEx Field, shaking hands with everyone, hugging many and looking content with his surroundings. I thought Gibbs was simply enjoying the moment. It was, at it turned it, his final goodbye to the Redskins faithful.
Joe's mind was made up. Nothing the Redskins did in the playoffs would have mattered. At 67, the stress of the NFL season, and the fact that this was the most stressful season any NFL coach ever had to go through, made this an easy, obvious call. Anybody who was surprised by this probably has a low threshold of what surprises them.
Gibbs leaves behind a rebuilt franchise, one that had successes in the past four years that they hadn't had in the previous 12. Some will write off his return as a failure. They're wrong. It certainly wasn't the success we all predicted, but Gibbs did nothing to tarnish his sterling reputation as a Hall of Fame coach. It is a sad day in Washington; a different kind of sadness than was felt a month ago, but sad nonetheless. Joe Gibbs has left once again.
More on this later today.

The Tears of Unfathomable Sadness

Playing the "I told you so" card is really easy when you write thousands of words per month about sports. Statistically, you're going to get about as many things right as you get wrong. This is why I don't do that dance on this blog. But I'm going to today because I've been criticizing the Redskins special teams for three years, in particular punter Derrick Frost and coach Danny Smith. And today, those special teams were what lost the Wild Card game in Seattle. Yeah, the 'Skins dropped balls, couldn't block and made some defensive mistakes; but if the Redskins had a competent punter, kicker and special teams coach, I believe they'd be looking forward to a game next Sunday in Dallas.
Look; it's not Derrick Frost's fault that he sucks, anymore than it's a tiger's fault for having stripes. It's Danny Smith's fault for sticking with Frost for the past three seasons when his awfulness is on display in every game. As early as 2005 I was yelling about the team of Smith and Frost and calling for their immediate ouster. I've done so in nearly every game since. It gets so bad each week that I should really have a "F--- Danny Smith" message saved in my "Quick Text" folders. Yes, my friends, his special teams units are that bad.
In every preview I've done for the Redskins since 2005, I always mention that the 'Skins poor special teams could be the difference between a win and a loss. This was never a bold prediction because oftentimes that's exactly what happened. Shank punts, bad coverage, poor kickoffs; the field position battle was never won by Smith's special teams. Never. Those things don't make the highlight reels, but when you're constantly giving opponents 20 yards per punt exchange, it adds up. Short drives that should be punts from the 45 turn into long field goals from the 30 because of stuff like that. Today, the Seahawks first ten points were due, in large part, to the Redskins' poor special teams. A penalty on Frost's second punt gave the Seahawks an extra 35 yards after a re-kick; they scored a TD on that drive. Seattle's first FG came after a short drive, as they got the ball on their own 45 following a 34-yard Frost punt. What was doubly bad was watching Seahawks punter Ryan Plackemeier (a Wake Forest guy, to add insult to injury) pin the 'Skins deep in their own territory three times.
Dammit.
I've written frequently about how ridiculous it is that Smith didn't see fit to bring in any competition for Frost and kicker Shaun Suisham in training camp. I often say this during games while shaking my head in disgust. This year I've ripped on Frost's punts, Suisham's inconsistency and the overall play of Smith's unit. It was so bad that it led me to write on this site before today's game:

I'm most worried about the Redskins special teams. Derrick Frost is the worst punter I've seen in the NFL this year and Shaun Suisham is just good enough to break your heart when he'll inevitably miss a chip-shot game-winner.

It wasn't just the special teams, of course; there were lots of things that contributed to today's loss. The offensive line couldn't keep pressure off Todd Collins early, Clinton Portis ran poorly, everyone dropped balls (more on that in a second) and untimely penalties (mainly on special teams) were killer.
What's even worse is that the Redskins had the game in control early in the fourth quarter. After two quick TDs, Anthony Mix recovered a poor Suisham kickoff that bounded over the head of Nate Burleson to give the Redskins the ball at Seattle's 14. Chris Cooley dropped an easy ball on first down that would have moved the chains to the 2, a killer mistake that especially hurts because Cooley rarely drops such balls. Still, even after a three-and-out the 'Skins were poised to take a four-point lead with a chip-shot field goal. As I predicted just hours before, Suisham inexplicably pushed the 30-yard attempt wide.
Had the kick been good, there was still lots of football to be played. But considering the quickness of the Redskins comeback, how much the fans would have been out of the game and the tenacity that the 'Skins defense had exhibited on the previous two possessions, it's tough to imagine that Seattle would have come back so quickly. And even if they had, a touchdown would only have put them up by a field goal.
Instead, Suisham's miss deflated the Redskins and inspired both the Seahawks and their overrated "12th man". It gave them hope. Just as I was sure that a successful field goal would have given the Redskins the win, I was equally sure that the miss meant an inevitable loss.
The final score wasn't indicative of this game. Years from now, people will look back at this score and think that the Seahawks blew out the Redskins. They'll be wrong. Washington had their shot in this game and couldn't take advantage, mainly due to a special teams unit that has no business playing in the NFL.
They'll be talk about how the Redskins were tired after their four-game win streak, about how the emotion of Sean Taylor's murder finally caught up with them and how Joe Gibbs has "lost it". It will all be bullshit. Today's game was there for the taking and the Redskins left it on the table. When Anthony Mix picked up that kickoff to give the Redskins that first down deep in Seattle territory, we had 'em. And they let 'em off the hook.
It's ironic that the final nail in the coffin to the season came when Santana Moss did something Sean Taylor never would have done: Give up on a play. Down seven points, Todd Collins heaved a ball towards Moss, who broke his route because he didn't beat his man deep. Figuring Collins wouldn't make the throw (which was probably a correct assumption), Moss slowed down and stopped playing. By the time the Seahawks defender had intercepted the ball, Moss was at a standstill and couldn't recover quickly enough to make the tackle.
I'm drained now and will probably just lay on the couch, pop in a movie and down whatever alcohol is left in my fridge. The thought of watching any more football this weekend makes me ill. It makes it worse that I think we might have just seen Joe Gibbs walk off a football field for the final time. If that's true, he deserved a better send-off.

As You Can Tell, This Means War

You'd think that a Redskins playoff game would have inspired thousands of words on this site dedicated to Joe Gibbs, Clinton Portis, Todd Collins, Shawn Springs and the rest of the Washington team that has made the beginning of 2008 a very happy time in Nation's Capital. But today's game against Seattle has a weird feel to me. (Granted, any playoff games have a weird feel around here, as there have only been three since 1993.) I'll explain why after the game, but until then, a quick preview:
There's plenty of talk about Seattle's homefield advantage, and rightly so: The team is 24-3 at Qwest Field in the past three seasons. But that doesn't mean the Seahawks are invincible there. In the 2005 playoffs, the Redskins narrowly lost a divisional round game there. Had Carlos Rogers been able to catch an interception that hit him in the numbers, the result would likely have been different. And last season, Seattle only got their home win because Tony Romo couldn't field a snap. Again, the homefield advantage at Qwest Field is very real... But the Seahawks are also very beatable there.
Rainy weather favors the Redskins, with their strong rushing attack. Don't buy into the "yes, but Seattle plays in that weather all the time" garbage. The Seahawks practice in a bubble, the Redskins don't.
I'm most worried about the Redskins special teams. Derrick Frost is the worst punter I've seen in the NFL this year and Shaun Suisham is just good enough to break your heart when he'll inevitably miss a chip-shot game-winner.
If the Redskins can hold onto the ball and keep Todd Collins upright, I think it could be a good afternoon for them. No result, other than a Seahawks blowout win would surprise me though.
On another note, my sister lives near Seattle. She was there in 2005 also and attended the 'Hawks/'Skins playoff game with my mom. (It's pretty amazing that the 'Skins have played two road playoff games while she's been there.) Anyway, yesterday was apparently "Blue Friday" in the city. People were encouraged to wear Seahawks gear or Seahawks colors to work. So, of course, my sister put her 20-month old daughter in her Santana Moss jersey for daycare. (There was much discussion between my sis and her husband, a Pats fan, about whether she would wear a Santana jersey or her Tom Brady jersey. In the end, my sister won out, but only after saying that the Pats were the best team in the NFL.) Imagine my sister's surprise, then, when she received the following picture message from the day care workers:



I'm not gonna lie; I was kind of impressed. Changing a baby from a Santana Moss jersey to a Shaun Alexander jersey is totally something I'd do if I was a Seahawks fan in that situation. Don't get me wrong, I hate seeing my niece dressed like that, but at least I can take some comfort in knowing that she's less of a crybaby than the man who wears that jersey on Sundays. (Or, in today's case, Saturday.)
I've been up since 6:45 this morning because I couldn't sleep; yes, I'm that ridiculous about Redskins games. It's still three hours until kickoff and I really have no clue how I'm going to pass the time. I've already read The Post cover-to-cover, read all the Seahawks articles in The Seattle News, talked on the phone a few times about the game, finished two crossword puzzles, drank three cups of coffee and downed a half-gallon of milk. Hopefully there will be a celebratory post here later this evening. If there's not, you might not see a new post for a few days. I'll likely be in Seattle kicking the ass of whoever put my niece in that outfit. You see, it's funny now... But only if the Redskins win.

For more of my thoughts on the '07/'08 Redskins, check out my e-mail interview over at Football Crack.

If Only The Writer's Strike Extended to FOX Directors Too

My disgust with FOX's coverage of all sports is well-known to readers of this blog and people with whom I watch games. I don't have enough energy to go into here, but you know the drill: Too many close-ups of coaches, not enough time spent showing the pre-snap (or pitch) preparations, an absurd amount of worthless shots of fans (many of which overlap into the play), terrible announcers who stick to a script rather than describing the action on the field, ridiculous graphics, uninformative stats; seriously, I could go on for a while.
Last year, FOX outdid itself with its miserable coverage of the BCS games. All season people wondered how FOX would be able to broadcast the biggest games of the college football season without having shown one college football game during the regular season. The answer was predictable: Shittily. Go back to last January's archives, I ranted about this on numerous occasions. My main beef was similar to the main problem I have with FOX's baseball coverage: The amount of camera shots of the fans is so unnecessary, so distracting and so annoying that it makes the FOX broadcasts borderline unwatchable. Here's what I wrote last year after the Wake Forest/Louisville game:

The directing was almost as bad as the announcing. Reminiscent of their baseball coverage, FOX cut to reaction shots from the crowd at least two or three times between each play. Sometimes they’d do this during a measurement or penalty signaling. One time, viewers didn’t see a referee signal which team had recovered the ball after a fumble because the director had inexplicably decided to one of his 400 shots of the Louisville band. Seriously, it was infuriating.

While watching delightedly as Kansas knocked around an overrated Virginia Tech team tonight (way to represent the Big East, cHokies. I'm sure most of the team is broken up over the loss. They have to be worried about what Michael Vick will say to them when they see him around the prison yard in a few months), I was reminded of how ridiculous the cuts to the band were. It's mind-boggling. Apparently, I'm not the only one who feels this way.
Via Awful Announcing; Sports Business Daily reports that there were 58 shots of WVU and Oklahoma bands shown during Wednesday's Fiesta Bowl. Fifty-eight. That's just ridiculous. Why? For what? Yeah, FOX, I get it. When a team gets a first down, its fans are happy. If they throw an interception, they're sad. You don't need to remind us of this after every freaking play. I almost wish I hadn't read that because it got me thinking about it and watching the end of this KU game, which should be a happy moment for all law-abiding citizens everwhere, has made me aggravated because they've shown the KU band, no joke, eight times since I began writing this five minutes ago. If anything, that 58 number might be low.

Chris Answers PTI's Questions

What was the most interesting thing about the New Years bowls?
While the Michigan/Florida game was exciting and Virginia/Texas Tech had good train-wreck value, Pat Summerall calling the Cotton Bowl was easily the highlight of New Years Day. Even though he was too old to call games in 2001, FOX still trots Summerall out at least once per season to call a game and the results are, predictably, awesome. It's not all bad, mind you; Summerall still has the best voice in the business. Anytime he calls a game it feels like the way football should be. Everytime I hear him, I'm reminded of those classic late-'80s/early-'90s Redskins games from RFK. But after having trouble identifying NFL players he was familiar with in the early part of this decade, you can imagine how much Sumerall struggled yesterday when he was calling a game between two college teams he was probably pretty unfamiliar with.
Too many times Summerall confused Darren McFadden with anybody else wearing an Arkansas uniform. He also misidentified other players on nearly every drive. My favorite moment was when the camera showed the Arkansas punt returner and Summerall said, "And back to return the punt for Arkansas is....... (five second pause as he scans the roster looking for which Arkansas player wears #6).... #6." That still doesn't come close to my all-time favorite Summerall moment from 2000 when, in the middle of the third quarter on a normal game, one of the teams had just run the ball on first down, setting up someting like a second-and-7. As they were breaking the huddle to take the snap for a routine play in the middle of a quarter, Summerall said, "second down and still no sign of the field-goal team." Man, that gets me every time.

Should Mike Martz be the primary casualty for Detroit's second-half slide?
Unlike my buddy Antzo, who inexplicably thinks the Redskins should get Martz (as if they don't have enough coaches as it is), I'm no fan of Mike Martz. Along with the refs in that snow game against Oakland, Martz is responsible for the start of the Patriots' Super Bowl run hanks to his mind numbingly-stupid gameplan in 2002 Super Bowl. (From now on, I'm refusing to call any Super Bowl beyond Super Bowl XXVI by its roman numeral name. If it takes a huge NFL fan like me about 15 seconds to figure out which Super Bowl we're currently on, the casual fans have no shot, which makes the whole thing idiotic.) That was the game where Martz seemingly forgot that he had the best player in the NFL, Marshall Faulk, in his backfield and chose to throw 44 passes instead against a 14-point underdog.
Anyway, the Lions were never as good as their 6-2 record would indicate. Those two early-season losses were blowouts to the Eagles and Redskins. The wins were over teams that were highly-touted in the preseason, but struggled when the games began (Chicago, Denver, etc) or teams that had yet to hit their stride when they faced off against Detroit (Tampa, Minnesota). The Lions finished at 7-9, disappointing considering their start, but about in-line with their talent level. If they played the season 100 times, Detroit would probably finish within a game of 7-9 in a vast majority of them.
Martz got great production out of Jon Kitna and turned Roy Williams into the receiver everybody thought he'd be. To get fired for that while the defensive coordinator of the team's 31st ranked defense keeps his job is a testament to the operational prudence of Matt Millen.

Will Brian Billick get another job?
Norv Turner is on his third team. Of course Brian Billick, a coach who won a Super Bowl, took his team to the playoffs in four of his nine seasons and finished 16 games over .500, will work again; even if his reputed offensive genius was never on display in Baltimore. (When Billick was canned, I was trying to think of the last coach to get fired from a team with which he won the Super Bowl. Try to guess, I'll write the answer later.)

How seriously should the Bengals take Carson Palmer's criticism of his coaches?
A better question would be: How does Marvin Lewis still have a job? The Bengals are a complete mess, have their players arrested about as much as the hoppers on The Wire and have one of the worst defenses in the NFL despite that fact that Lewis is a reputed defensive guru. (Maybe he and Brian Billick should coach the same team; only Billick would work with the defense and Lewis would work with the offense. I bet that team wouldn't need to be bailed out by Eli Manning in their quest to go 16-0.)
By the way, as The Wolfman can no doubt tell you, the last NFL coach fired from the team he won a Super Bowl with was Mike Ditka in 1992.

How cool was the outdoor hockey game?
That was easily the coolest thing the NHL has done in... Ever. This is the first time anybody has had anything good to say about hockey in years. It seems like everyone watched a little of this game and I've heard it talked about at least five times today. Like most people, I found myself watching more of the outdoor hockey than Michigan/Florida, which was one of the best bowl games of the season. I was at my parent's house for the end of regulation, overtime and the shootout and even they sat to watch. It was truly riveting.
Unlike Wilbon, however, I don't think this should be an every-week occurrence. The NHL should keep it as a once-a-year event on New Years Day and move it from cold-weather city to cold-weather city. I'll admit, when I heard about the game my first thought was, "leave it to the NHL to come up with a great idea and then mess it up by putting it against college football." I've heard the same sentiment repeated today. However, after watching the game yesterday and hearing the chatter about it today, I realized how great an idea it was to put that game on New Year's Day when everyone is sitting around and watching TV. You have a built-in audience of people watching bowl games, why not offer some counter-programming that those people can flip to? Put that game on a Saturday in February and most people probably never even realize it's on. Have it going against three bowl games when people are clutching the remote and flipping channels endlessly and it's golden. The snow didn't hurt either.

Are the Patriots still the prohibitive favorites for the Super Bowl?
Of course New England are still the big favorites to win the Super Bowl. That doesn't mean they can't be beat, but it's silly to suggest that struggling with a few teams means that the Pats any more vulnerable than they were when they were running up the score.
And even though I wasn't openly rooting for them, deep down I wanted New England to beat the Giants. Because if there's one thing I love more than a team I hate failing, it's a team I hate failing spectacularly on a big stage. This is why I'm not ecstatic when the Yankees lose in the ALDS. Sure, I love the humiliation but, to me, it was more fun when they'd lose in the ALCS or World Series because then everyone sees it.
So, to me, the Patriots going 16-0 and losing to the Jags in the first-round of the Divisional Playoffs would be endlessly more entertaining than the 15-1 Pats doing the same thing. It's this possibility that almost makes me regret that I vowed to go to the movies on Super Bowl Sunday if the Pats and Cowboys match-up in Arizona.

Should the NFL address the horrible conditions at Heinz Field?
It appears the only people who suck at their jobs more than NFL officials are the groundskeepers at Heinz Field. Keep up the good work, guys.

Do the Browns have to keep Derek Anderson?
Cleveland might have won 10 games, but here's who they beat: Cincinnati, Baltimore (x2), Miami, St. Louis, Seattle, Houston, New York Jets, Buffalo and San Francisco. Of those teams, only Seattle was over .500. But that game was on the road and Seattle can barely tie its own shoes away from Qwest Field so even that shouldn't really count. What I'm saying is; 10-6 in the NFL can often be a mirage. The Browns might very well duplicate their success next season. They probably have as good a shot at doing that as they do of going 6-10.
Anderson might be a fine quarterback, but with the money they're paying Brady Quinn, they can't really afford to sign Anderson to a free-agent deal.

The Celtics just went 4-0 out west. Are they the NBA favorites?
It's January 3rd. The NBA regular season has been going on for over two months. It won't end for another six. In short, don't talk to me about the NBA.

Mailbag
Since he arrived to save the Dolphins, Bill Parcells has axed GM Randy Mueller but as of yet no word on Cam Cameron's future as head coach. Is there a chance Parcells keeps him?
First of all, I think somebody should edit the grammar in these mailbag questions a little better. Secondly, I don't think Parcells can keep Cameron on-board. It'd be too much of a distraction. Unless Parcells is gaga over Cam (which - why would he be?), he almost has to get rid of him because the second the Dolphins begin struggling under Cameron, the chorus of "is Parcells going to fire the coach?" will be deafening. It's the same concept behind why teams rarely let coaches go into the final years of their contract without an extension.

Do you think that Joe Gibbs should be coach of the year? (I know there's some guy who won 16 straight - but he was supposed to have a great team, remember?) Gibbs kept a team together that went through waaaay too much and got 'em into the playoffs.
Since the NFL went to a single Coach of the Year award for both conferences in 1997, the award has only gone to a coach of a preseason favorite twice: In 2002 and 2003 when Andy Reid and Belichick won, respectively. Every other year the award has gone to coaches that have led surprising turnarounds.
It is very, very rare for the coach of the team with the league's best record to win the COY award. Joe Gibbs' Redskins have had the best record in the NFL twice; he didn't win the award in either of those seasons, even when the '83 'Skins shattered the NFL record for most points in a season. Jimmy Johnson never won during Dallas' Super Bowl run, his only nod came in 1990 when the Cowboys rebounded from their 1-15 season to make a playoff run. Most importantly, in 1972 when Don Shula led the Dolphins to an undefeated record, the winner of AFC Coach of the Year was Chuck Noll of the 11-3 Steelers.
So maybe Belichick does deserve Coach of the Year, but there's hardly a precedent. Especially for a guy who was caught cheating and heavily sanctioned. Sweet fancy Moses, people. How can anybody vote for Belichick. I broke out italics twice in a paragraph for crap's sake! I don't care if Gibbs gets it. He doesn't need the accolades; his bust is in the Hall of Fame and he's not a cheating prick like Belichick. But to give it to Belichick would be a disgrace.
Joe Gibbs did the best coaching job in the NFL this season. Forget the overrated timeout mistake and the odd clock management. He rallied a team decimated by injury and tragedy and turned them into the hottest team in the NFC. There's more to coaching than X's and O's and breaking down tape and implementing gameplans. So many coaches fail because they don't know how to lead men. Joe Gibbs does.

Sources say West Virginia Governor Joe Manchin wants a big name coach to replace Rich Rodriguez and that he has interest in West Virginia native Nick Saban. Saban wouldn't... would he?
This would be even better than that outdoor hockey game. It's tough to imagine Saban doing this; the PR-hit he'd take would be tremendous. But it'd be worth it just to hear Wilbon rip on him on PTI.

I had a kick seeing the Lakers play the Celtics in the old, short shorts and so did the crowd at Staples Center. Will the short-shorts ever make a comeback in the NBA?
As Heidi Klum has told me, "in fashion, one day you're in, and the next day you're out." I think this means that, yes, the short-shorts will eventually come back but I don't know because I likely was too busy staring at Heidi's cleavage.

Was Adrian Peterson a good selection for NFL Rookie of the Year?
Peterson should have been the unanimous winner of this award, even though I have quick to criticize him this month after putting up 144 yards on 54 carries (2.66 ypc) in his last four games. Maybe Joe Thomas was so good at his position that he deserved some consideration, but I don't know too much bout JT and unless Dr. Z tells me how awesome he was, I'm just going to assume that Thomas was the Paul Tsongas to Peterson's Bill Clinton or the Lamar Alexander to his Bob Dole.
In two must-win games to end the season, Peterson put up 27 yards on nine carries against Washington and 36 yards on 11 carries in Denver. I know he was hurt a bit and that teams were dropping nine in the box to stop him, but still. When the Vikes needed Peterson the most, he couldn't get anything going. While that doesn't affect his ROY status, it should calm everyone down about how he's the second coming of Barry Sanders. But only a little.
By the by, the political namedropping above comes on the day of the vastly-overrated Iowa caucus. If you're interested in politics or merely the game of politics (as I am), read this piece by the great Christopher Hitchens that exposes the Iowa Caucuses for the crock they truly are. Somehow I feel there's a misinterpretation of the tuck rule on the horizon and that it might mean "adios!" for Denis Kuchinich.

Meaningless Awards: Not Just for Hollywood

My disdain for contrived weekly awards hit an all-time high this college football season when I read on WakeForestSports.com that center Steve Justice had been awarded the ACC's Offensive Lineman of the Week Award. Among the many thoughts that went through my mind at the moment I read that were: "What?" "How?" "Why?" And, again, "what?"
Was there really a clamoring among people for this award? At what point did somebody say outloud, "you know what, we aren't recognizing offensive lineman enough. Let's create a weekly award that we'll give to the best lineman that week, even though there's no logical way to determine who played better than whom."
I mean what, exactly, is the criteria for said award? I can't imagine much thought goes into who wins this thing; it would seem that there's no discernible way to accurately gauge who blocked the best in a given week. Do you give it to the guy who played well against a great opponent? Or the guy who dominated a weaker one?
The award blubs on ACC.com mention snaps played, "big blocks", team rushing yards, knockdowns and grades (most of which fall into the 82 - 89% range; which either means that ACC offensive lineman suck or that they need to bump up the curve a little bit. Does playing B- football really warrant an award?). Here's a blurb from the Nov. 12 award, given to Marylant OT Scott Burley:

Burley played in 53 snaps against the eighth-ranked Eagles on Saturday, and graded out as the team's top lineman for the game. Behind the big offensive tackle, the Maryland offense accumulated 472 yards of total offense, including 109 rushing yards by running back Lance Ball. The Terps'42 points were the most scored by any Maryland team since 2005.

I popped that into Google Translator to see what it meant. The word-by-word translation appears below.

This award is complete bullshit. We always give it to a guy on the team that had the biggest win because, clearly, it's impossible to block well if your team loses.

There's also an award for Specialist of the Week, which is even more lame than the offensive lineman award. There are only 24 specialists in the ACC (18 if you count only the real ACC teams and not those ACC-wannabes that couldn't hang in the Big East). To give an award to one of 24 people every week is living giving an employee of the month award at a Mom and Pop store.
Anyway, I started this whole little rant because I just saw that Todd Collins won the NFC's Offensive Player of the Month. That award is a little less contrived, but still pretty meaningless, nonetheless. However, it's pretty crazy that Collins went from unknown backup on December 6 to the most popular man in D.C. on December 31. Since Collins came in for an injured Jason Campbell on that Thursday against the Bears, he has won an NFC Offensive Player of the Week awards, helped Clinton Portis win one of his own and captained four straight wins to get the Redskins into the playoffs. It's not a kosher thing to say around these parts, but Jason Campbell's injury was the best thing that could have happened to the 2006 Redskins.