Happy New Year from The Player Hater's Ball

When looking back at 2008, I'm most appreciative of the new friends I made in the comments section of Fourth-Place Medal, Shutdown Corner and The Dagger at Yahoo! Sports.

-- Sorry Chris Chase you suck at your job

-- It's funny every time I look at a Yahoo! sports story and think to myself This guy has no business being a professional writer I look up and see Chris Chase's name How this guy ever got a job is beyond me

-- SOUR GRAPES!!! Chris Chase is a bitter Ravens fan B'more is a franchise without a winning pedigree What do you expect. (I do love the Ravens.)

-- Chris Chase and MJD completely suck

-- THE BALL JUST NEEDS TO TOUCH THE FRONT OF THE LINE CHRIS CHASE SHOULD WRITE ABOUT FASHION NOT FOOTBALL

-- Chris Chase is as usual an idiot

-- I LOVE CHRIS CHASE! (Wait, how did that get in there.)

-- Hey Chris Chase Did you actually get paid for writing this garbage? This is the headline on yahoo? War famine poverty you know real issues going on and nfl quarterback forgets rule? Chris do you know how many children die on the planet of preventable diseases? Answer without research quick! Chris do you know how many seconds it took for the 3 buildings in NYC to collapse on 9/11? Quick without a search! Chris what year was the treaty of Versailles signed? Quick!! Matter of fact have you ever led an NFL team to any caliber of championship game? Have you ever won an NFL game before? Madden 08 doesn't count Chris you're just a coward but it's not your fault Parents shouldn't have children if they don't know how to teach them anything but trashing other people. (THAT'S more like it.)

-- Maybe someone should tell Chris Chase (the arrogant sportswriter) that playoff games don't end in a tie And why is he putting down Joe Morgan? I think Joe knows baseball as well as anyone on the planet

-- To Chris Chase With 30 teams in the league is this all you have to write about?

-- chris chase you are what i like to call a 'douche nozzle'

-- Chris Chase weighs 500 lbs and lives in a trailer park

-- Ewww it's Chris Chase

-- I was hearing that Chris chase wa a moron now this article proves it!!!!

-- i think we should blame chris chase for 911

-- Yao: Who is that pathetic Chris Chase?" "" "James: Nick Friedell's live-in partner. (OK, that's pretty good.)

-- now that the olympics is over, Chris Chase is promoted to Grand Wizards of the KKK!!

Have a safe and happy new year. My resolution is for Dan Snyder to fire Vinny Cerrato.

That's a Shame: Eagles 44 -- Cowboys 6

Honestly, I was sort of hoping the Cowboys were going to win that game. Because of my dislike for Donovan McNabb, I figured it would be better seeing him choke in the pre-playoffs before Tony Romo choked in the real playoffs. However, had I known that a 38-point waxing was an option, I'd have been happy to settle for that.
Ahh, Tony Romo. Always a bridesmaid, always a bridesmaid. At what point is the media going to acknowledge that he's, at best, an average NFL quarterback? Will it take another late-season collapse? More choking in the playoffs?
There's no way Wade Phillips is the coach of the Cowboys next year, right? But who do they hire? Jason Garrett is persona non grata. His stock slipped faster than AIG. Zing.
As for the Redskins, I wish I could say I cared that they lost today, but I really don't. With the loss, the squad will get a better chance to draft the wide receiver they covet in April. The team needs to overhaul both lines and the linebacking corps, in addition to parts of the coaching staff. And by parts of the coaching staff, I mean Danny Smith.

Football Returns to RFK: The EagleBank Bowl

As first-year bowl games played in 33-degree temperatures between mediocre teams that have already played once this season go, the inaugural EagleBank Bowl was as good as it gets. Wake Forest and Navy played a very entertaining game yesterday at RFK in D.C.'s successful bowl debut.
Watching the first football game played at RFK since 1996 was the highlight of the day; the fact that Wake won a well-played, exciting contest was an added benefit. Even when the Deacs were down 13-0, I was pleased to be watching a football game at a place other than FedEx Field.
The Redskins were mentioned a few times before the game, directly and indirectly. There was a nice video montage of highlights from RFK's past that played on the scoreboard. And D.C. mayor Adrian Fenty made repeated references to having football "back in D.C. where it belongs," statements that make me think he's going to lobby hard to get Dan Snyder to move the team back to the RFK site in the next decade.
RFK hasn't lost any of its dated charm. There isn't a bad seat in the house, fans are nearly on top of the field and, most importantly, it feels like a football stadium. FedEx Field is like a movie theater, without the ambience. You feel so detached from the action that it's like watching a game played elsewhere. Even the nicer football stadiums I've been to (Philadelphia, Baltimore) are more stages than stadiums. At RFK, fans feel like a part of the game.
The result was secondary to me, even though I was pleased that Wake Forest came from 13 points down to win. Here are some pictures my cousin Peter snapped during the game.



Navy had some of the brigade march onto the field prior to kickoff. My mom would undoubtedly point out how West Point cadets are much better at marching. (My sister graduated from West Point.)


The announced crowd was 28,000+, which is pretty good for a game played in cold weather involving a team with a small alumni-base. We sat on the 10-yard line in the Darryl Grant end zone.

RFK handled the crowd pretty well. The lines at concession stands were reasonable, they didn't run out of hot chocolate (or the vanilla vodka they were selling with said hot chocolate) and the ushers and employees seemed much more pleasant than when the Nats played there. The weirdest part of the day was buying pre-game beers and having them given to us in glass bottles. Also weird was the 11:00 a.m. kickoff, which means that said beers were consumed at 10:30 a.m. and that halftime came during the noon hour.


We suspected that the field was not in the same exact location as it was during Redskins games. Normally, there were stands behind this endzone and those four marks in the wall were the entrances. They didn't move those stands in for this game, although there were temporary stands in the other end zone. (And for you eagle-eyed observers who also read D.C.-centric sports blogs, that's the Sports Bog's Dan Steinberg standing under the Geico sign.)


That's without much zoom on the camera.


At 13-0, Navy recovered a second Wake fumble for a touchdown to go up 20-0. The play was over ruled though, and Wake drove down the field to get back in the game.


The view from section 538, where my cousins and I used to work at two concession stands my uncle operated.

Wake/Navy to Kickoff EagleBank Bowl at 11:00 a.m.

In ten hours, the Wake Forest Demon Deacons and United States Naval Academy Midshipmen kick off the inaugural EagleBank Bowl at RFK Stadium in Washington D.C.. I'll be there in the 35 degree temps, far too underdressed and aimlessly wandering around the concourses looking for a guy to make me some Irish Coffee. It should be a good time, so check back later this weekend for a full report on the first bowl game of the insanely long college bowl season.
Oh, and if you're interested in joining my bowl confidence pool, email me your picks (either in a word document or from a major sports web site that hosts pools) and I'll enter you. It cost $25 to join and we can talk about payment info later, assuming any reader wants to get in on this. Have the sheet sent by 11:00 a.m. to chrischase@gmail.com.

Mark Teixiera Not Signing With Orioles, Unless He Signs With Orioles

Normally I love the baseball hot stove chatter, but I couldn't be less interested in where Mark Teixeira will sign. (And it's not because I just had to go back through this entry and re-write his last name after discovering I had spelled it incorrectly throughout.) Mr. Irrelevant discusses this odd phenomena the other day. It's strange because I'm a Nats fan, so theoretically I should be excited about the possibility (however remote) of him coming here. But I'm not. I mean, it's Mark Teixeira. The next time someone says "hey, let's get tickets to the _____, Mark Teixeira's in town" will be the first.
Anyway, ESPN is trying to hype the story by providing breathless updates of Teixeira's leanings. Yesterday there was "breaking news" that he would make a decision soon. What a scoop. Today came reports that Teixeira isn't going to sign with the Orioles ... or will he??
From the AP story:

"The only chance the Orioles have to be seriously considered now, sources say, would be if Teixeira, a Maryland native, were to take Baltimore's offer."

Wait, so let me get this straight ... The O's' only shot of signing Teixeira is if Teixeira were to sign with the team? That's some Kafka-level deepness there.

If Vinny Cerrato Is Back Next Year...

... then it shows that Dan Snyder isn't serious about winning.

At Least I Don't Have to Care About Football Anymore This Year

I have nothing to say about the Redskins. If they don't care, I don't care. The team gave up in the first half and by the time they started to play, it was too late. I'd love to hear from all those Joe Gibbs haters today. His teams never stopped playing.
Dan Snyder should have fired Jim Zorn in the locker room and kicked him off the charter plane back to D.C.. Zorn's goalline playcalls were the turning point in this game. He let his grudge against Clinton Portis dictate his decisions and, as a result, fed the ball TWICE to Mike Sellers, who was unable to get in the endzone against an abysmal Cincinnati front four. Three plays from goal line, none of them to Clinton Portis.
I can't imagine that Zorn will be back next year. Good riddance.

Portis Goes Off On Zorn; 8-8, Here We Come

Clinton Portis went on the John Thompson Radio Show today and went off on Redskins coach Jim Zorn. My phone was buzzing endlessly around 3:15 today with friends writing about the verbal carnage. I couldn't listen (and haven't mustered the courage to listen online), but luckily Dan Steinberg did. Some select quotes can be seen on his DC Sports Bog. The quote that will be most widely disseminated over the next few days is one that came after Portis was asked about adjustments Zorn can make to get the offense back on track:

"We got a genius for a head coach, I don't know, I'm sure he on top of things. He's got everything figured out. Hey, that's up to him. All I can do is when he calls a play is go out and try to execute to the best of my ability."

This was a few weeks coming. The Redskins haven't played a good game since they beat Philadelphia back on October 5. They aren't a good football team. Plenty of that has to do with the personnel (VINNY), but Zorn is also to blame. But, unlike most coaches, Zorn chooses to blame his players and their "execution." Joe Gibbs, he's not.
Zorn's play-calling has been unimaginative, he isn't utilizing the right players on the right downs and Jason Campbell looks lost in his offense. That's not enitrely JC's fault, Zorn plays a huge role. Tailor the offense to the quarterback. Don't wait until December to "simplify".
About Campbell though, my buddy Jaf had a good take on it today, after we exchanged emails about the questionable theories Michael Wilbon espoused in a column this morning. Wrote Jaf:

watching jeff garcia last night, you see what it's like to have a quarterback who makes plays. now, i don't want jeff garcia, not at all, but he remains open-minded about each play until its conclusion, whereas j.c. is often check 1, check 2, dumpoff/sack. also, the sentence about j.c. needing time to go through his progressions is entirely correct, but it doesn't take into account that j.c. seems to make these progressions slowly, and seems so focused on the actual progressions that improvisation doesn't occur to him.

That's it in a nutshell. I still like JC, but he's not football smart. I've been holding out hope that he'd develop football smarts, but he hasn't. I don't know if he ever will.
Back to Portis, I don't blame him. However, I can see how this is going to go and many people might point the finger at him for this mess. In this scenario, Zorn is going to be martyred and Portis is going to be cast as the villian, even though this sort of fire and candidness is why everyone loves Portis in the first place.
If these comments are the beginning of the end for Portis in D.C., there will be paralells to the Manny Ramirez situation in Boston this summer. Except, with Manny, he gave up. Portis never gave up. He's the ultimate gamer, and that's why I'm with him. Ladell Betts is terrible. Clinton Portis is an All-Pro and was in the MVP debate up until mid-November.
You see what happens Danny? You see what happens when you hire a quarterbacks coach to be head coach??! This is what happens, Danny. This is what happens when you hire a quarterbacks coach to be head coach.

Update: Some more on this via me at Shutdown Corner. Former Efird residents, please note the reference to the greatest flip-cup team of all-time.

Update x2: Just listened to the interview. Lost in the Zorn-hating was this veiled shot at backup RB Ladell Betts: "I guarantee I know the system better than anyone else. I guarantee when we go for blitz check-up, I don't miss my man." And, again, Portis is right. Ladell always misses his man. Clinton never does.
Stepping back for a second, I can see why Clinton will get some deserved criticism for the way he handled this. And, I agree, he could have waited. But I still think this honesty is why Portis is so beloved in D.C. and I think Zorn opened himself up to this when he started blaming players for the team's struggles three weeks ago.

Update x3: Something interesting was just pointed out to me and I think I may have it all wrong. CP is Dan Snyder's favorite player. Who will Snyder have more loyalty to -- Portis or his 8th choice for head coach?

A Brief Washington Redskins Quiz

The team has blown up. Jim Zorn seems to have lost control of the team, he doesn't know how to manage a game and the defense can't stop runs they know are coming. But I'm tired, my toes are still frozen and I want to go to bed. But I'll leave you with this question:

Name one thing the Washington Redskins do well.

Entries like "under-utilize Chris Cooley," "call timeouts before 4th down plays" and/or "suck" are not accepted. Seriously, try to answer that question. I bet you can't. Frankly, it's amazing they even got to seven wins. They're on their way to 8-8, if they're lucky.

Malcolm Kelly Is A Star In Malcom Kelly's World

The Dallas Morning News caught up wither former Oklahoma star, and current Redskins benchwarmer, Malcolm Kelly. The rookie, who has missed eight games and has just three catches on the season, thinks he is a far better receiver today than he was last year:

"I'm a better player now by leaps and bounds. I'm doing so many different things. This offense uses me to my abilities. I have a much wider range of routes, and the older guys have taught me the better techniques. I'm running a lot more short routes now, a lot more double moves. They run me across the field."

What does he mean he's doing so many different things -- to occupy himself while not playing? And what are these abilities the offense is using? The ability to get one catch per month?
I hope Malcolm Kelly becomes a great receiver in this league, but he's not even close to being an average one at this moment.

On another note, I fear Jim Zorn is losing this team. But, be that as it may, can we please stop blaming Jason Campbell for the offensive ineptitude? I'm a JC guy, and I maintain that he doesn't appear to be too bright (which was confirmed this week by Zorn saying he'll "simplify" the offense for the three-year veteran). However, it's not Campbell's fault the offensive line isn't opening up any holes, and it's not Campbell's fault that his receivers dropped four catchable first down balls on Sunday.

Speaking of losing stuff, after being lambasted on the radio this week by angry fans, Vinny Cerrato won't have his weekly call-in show next Monday. Didn't see that one coming at all. I didn't hear the show, but my buddy Tony says it was hilarious. People kept calling in and ripping Vinny for his wonderful '08 Draft and Vinny kept dodging the questions while the calls were cut off. Don't sweat it, Vinny. I hear Malcolm Kelly is the truth.

Update: Mr. Irrelevant has more nonsense spewed by the aforementioned Mr. Kelly.

Rodney Rogers Hurt In ATV Accident, Might Have Partial Paralysis

This happened over the weekend, but it didn't sound as bad on Saturday as it does now: Former Wake Forest star Rodney Rogers was in an ATV accident on Friday and could face partial paralysis as a result of the accident. The ACC Player of the Year in 1993 had a solid, if unspectacular, 12-year career in the NBA.
One of his best known moments was when he capped a furious Denver comeback by hitting three three-pointers in 10.2 seconds.

Get well soon, Rodney. And get on your feet so you can go to Winston to teach some of these younger Deacs how to drain those long bombs like you.

List of NFL Teams With Winning Records that Have Losing Records at Home

1) Washington Redskins