The Player Hater's Ball

The Guy Who Grabbed His Crotch During Mark O'Meara's Masters Putt

2010-03-16T14:24:00.003-04:00

Seeing the commercials for The Masters is always one of the more underrated parts of the NCAA tournament. There's something about those soft, Kenny Loggins-brother-written piano notes that get me every time. But in recent years the CBS promos have felt empty; empty because it was missing the greatest clip in Masters history.

No, I'm not talking about Jack Nicklaus' putt in 1986 ("yes sir!") or Tiger doing the swinging fist pump in 1997 or even Phil Mickelson's two-inch vertical jump whenever it was that he won his first Masters. No, I'm talking about the guy adjusting his junk during Mark O'Meara's tournament winning put in 1998.
There's a ground-level replay of O'Meara's putt that CBS usually shows. O'Meara strikes the ball, the gallery in the background stands up in anticipation that slowly builds as the putt rolls toward the cup. When it goes in, the patrons predictably go nuts. Literally. There's one guy in white (right under O'Meara's head) that immediately starts to play with his crotch upon rising. On slo-mo it looks like he's grabbing it at forever.
I first noticed this guy one year later when CBS would play the clip incessantly during the tourney. Then, each year, I'd point it out to different people I'd be watching the tournament with. Soon they couldn't see anything else but junk-grabber. CBS stopped showing the replay a few years ago, probably because nobody remembers Mark O'Meara but maybe -- just maybe -- because word got around that the clip was PG-13. I've looked for it on YouTube every now and again, but The Masters was so protective of its property that it was never there. Until right now.
Again, watch the guy in the white shirt below O'Meara's head. It definitely won't be nearly as funny after all the build-up.

Nope, still hilarious. That dude is goin' to TOWN.

Wake gets blitzed by Miami; should Deacs really be a tourney lock?

2010-03-11T16:43:00.001-05:00

It's been a while since I've hollered on the PHB (sorry Rob) and I knew it would take a special moment to get me back on the horse. That special moment came in the form of Wake Forest getting blitzed in the ACC tournament by a Miami team playing without its best player.
Since being up by 17 points at Virginia Tech, 14 minutes away from a 9-3 mark in the ACC, the Deacs have lost five of six, including today's embarrassing "effort" in Greensboro. All the pundits say Wake is a lock to make the NCAA tournament. But why? For what? Beating Gonzaga at Gonzaga was great. Squeaking by a good, not great, Maryland team in Winston was fine too. But what else is there? Why is this resume so NCAA worthy? The ACC is garbage this year. Georgetown was a No. 8 seed in the Big East and blitzed the best team in the ACC. (Yes, you can selectively pull games and make points out of them but, be real. If Georgetown was in the ACC it would have been either the best or second-best team in the conference.) Why is a 9-8 record in a conference in which Virginia Tech got a tournament bye worthy of "lock" status?
I don't think the Deacs are a lock. Screw what the pundits say, why should they be? I think their record is going to come under a lot more scrutiny after today's loss.
Frankly, I welcome it. I've never wanted a team to make an NCAA tournament less. It would save me the misery and delusion that they're going to do well.
Right now, Wake Forest is a bad basketball team and it's Dino Gaudio's fault. For the second straight season he coached a team into the ground at the beginning of February. All the same problems that existed when Skip Prosser coached the team are evident today: Sluggish defense, poor effort for selected players, an inability to make in-game adjustments -- ugh, that was so ugly.
That's all I got. The Player Hater's Ball is back. I just wish it wasn't because of Wake Forest basketball.

We'll Miss You, Joe

2010-01-13T15:30:00.001-05:00

On that day six years ago when Joe Gibbs announced his return to football, I couldn't have been more excited. And then I heard that Joe Bugel was coming back. There. Couldn't be more excited now. And then I saw Joe Bugel sit down with George Michael and Sonny Jurgensen and talk about his excitement and how he can't wait to get on the field and how he wanted to put on the pads right there and how he and Joe were going to reconquer the NFL. I had to pour myself a stiff drink and remind myself that training camp was still six months away.
Joe Bugel retired today. He leaves as a D.C. legend -- easily in my top three Redskins of all-time (along with his buddy Joe and Art Monk) -- who was every bit as integral to the championship teams of yesteryear and the mild successes of the second go-round as was Joe Gibbs.
When he stayed on after Gibbs left, it was exciting to have a link to the past still on the sidelines. If Jim Zorn really wanted to know what the team's colors were, he could have cut Bugel to see the burgundy and gold running through this veins. In a time when almost nothing resembled the past at Redskins Park, Bugel did.
Some said he might have done his best job coaching this year when the 'Skins had to start guys like D'Anthony Baptiste and Edwin Williams. But that's what Bugel did. He was a teacher. Chris Samuels was struggling in the years before Gibbs returned. When he worked with Bugel, he was back to Pro Bowl caliber. If not for injuries to those lines in 2005 and 2007, Gibbs 2.0 would be considered much more of a success than it is now.
But when Gibbs did leave, it sort of felt like Bugel was the widower who had taken a new wife. Oh, what he must have thought about Jim Zorn. But he never strayed and never badmouthed anyone and never complained. He was the trusted lieutieniant. The loyal soldier who did his best amidst chaos. And now he's following Gibbs into retirement, the final connection to those champion teams from 20 years ago.
We'll miss you, Joe.

Is Mike Shanahan a savior or just Dan Snyder's next ex-coach?

2010-01-05T21:12:00.001-05:00

One month ago, the Washington Redskins big three consisted of Dan Snyder, Vinny Cerrato and Jim Zorn. Today it's Snyder, Bruce Allen and Mike Shanahan. Advantage: Today.
Yet this is the third major upgrade for the team in the past decade. First it was Marty Schottenheimer. He lasted one year.
Next was Joe Gibbs. It wasn't thought that Gibbs was going to return the Redskins to the top of the NFL, it was known that he would. This blog was created based on that very fact. Four years later, the team had one playoff win to show for it.
Now Mike Shanahan is the newest white knight to save the Redskins from what has been almost two decades of mediocrity. He's the right hire. But so were Marty and Joe.
In the decade after John Elway retired, Mike Shanahan and the Broncos won just one playoff game. During that same span, the Redskins won two. In his last three seasons in Denver, Shanahan was 24-24.
Don't get me wrong, I'm pleased that he's here. But, as always, it's necessary to curb our enthusiasm a bit. Shanahan is hardly a savior. He's just a big piece in a bigger puzzle that is still a long way away from being completed.

Goodbye, Jim Zorn ... I'd say I'd Miss You, But That Would Be a Lie

2010-01-04T23:04:00.003-05:00

What should have been done in September finally ended at the start of January. Finally, the Washington Redskins fired Jim Zorn.
The hiring never should have happened in the first place, as suggested in this sky-is-falling post from the evening of Zorn's hire. There were too many red flags -- he had never coordinated an offense at any level, he had no head coaching experience, he worked as a quarterbacks coach until he was in his fifties -- that's the resmue of a career assistant, and a mid-level one at that.
But it worked for a few, halcyon weeks in his first season when the 'Skins went 6-2 and everyone had them pegged as the best team in the NFC. But there were big problems being covered up by last second wins. The slide started on a Monday night against Pittsburgh and continued later in the month with a debacle in Baltimore in which Clinton Portis was benched and then spent the week ripping on Zorn. The whole thing was a mess. Going into the season, anyone thinking playoffs for the Redskins was deranged. I predicted 4-12.
Zorn should have been fired after the week 3 loss to the Lions but Snyder seemed to want to stick it to critics who said he was keeping his coach on too short a leash. Had Zorn been canned, I firmly believe the Redskins could have put together a decent season. Maybe not a playoff appearance, but one of those build-for-next-year runs in which young guys play hard and the team experiences cohesion en route to a 7-9 or 8-8 record. Zorn had lost them in Detroit. The rest of the season was lost after it.
All the nonsense that followed -- the demotion from playcaller, the Sherms, the Cerrato disses -- it was all just the lead-up to the inevitable firing today.
So, Jim Zorn, to you we say (and for your sake, imagine that I was good with videos and could have somehow spliced game clips and pictures of Zorn into this video. Or, better yet, picture Dan Snyder as Patty Smyth, shooing away his lost love.)

Read the rest of my thoughts on Shutdown Corner. It's bascially what I would have written here, but with a lot less ripping on the Haynesworths and Halls and Randle Els and Landrys.

And I'll be back here tomorrow with more analysis and to ask the question that's on everyone's mind: Does the contrast between the whiteness of Shanahan's teeth and the orangey color of his skin make him sort of creepy to look at? Anyone?

Happy New Year from The Player Hater's Ball

2009-12-31T13:30:00.002-05:00

My New Year's resolution for 2010 is to keep in touch with the new friends I meet daily over at Yahoo! Sports:

-- Chris chase an individual with no knowledge of professional tennis. Actually said person is mostly likely a homo.

-- another stellar article by Chris Chase. Oh and by stellar I mean piece of shit.

-- Someone should write an article about how much Chris Chase (the author) loves 8====D in and around his mouth (Now THAT'S funny.)

-- hey chris chase why dont you go f' yourself?

-- chris chase you wouldnt last a day in prison

-- Wow I never thought I'd find myself agreeing with Chris Chase and finding his arguments to be well thought out but here we are. (The best kind of compliments are the back-handed ones.)

-- Tell that son of a bitch Chris Chase who mentioned the catalyst for the comeback for Duke against Maryland in his top ten list was a bogus fifth foul on Steve Blake that he mentioned NOTHING about the game UConn Duke in 04 about the refs raping Duke in allowing UConn to make THEIR comeback. Dont be so biased you f-----s! I hope you choke on your turkey's today.

-- Chris Chase you sound like Kanye West and you're not even drunk!!!! You're the Kanye West of NFL sports writing Jackass!!!!

-- Chris Chase is either a blatant racist an animal rights activist or someone who had extreme writer's block the night before his article was due.

-- F-----g kill yourself Chris Chase. You make being a sports writer seem illegitimate and meaningless.

-- Wow i just lost a lot of respect for Chris Chase. (Yes, but that once means you HAD respect. Score. -- And let me note that I'm not digging deep through the archives to pull these. They all appeared on the first page of a search for "Chris Chase" in the comments section.)

-- Chris Chase (The author of this sorry excuse for journalism) to me is what’s wrong with this country. Loves to place the blame but aren't even a model citizen themselves. I don't know this guy Chris Chase and maybe he is Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King or Mahatma Gandhi but judging from his article he is no were near that.

-- Go back to K PAX and blog about something you can relate to like planetary systems and galaxies or what star your planet is closest to you know stuff like that. Better yet blog about time travel so you might be able to resurrect an idea to get you back home. Chris try chasing your tail and leave Football alone. You broke the rules. You had a Take but unfortunately it sucked!!! Signed Betcha i can throw a football over those mountains!!

-- the message here if you F up one time you are not allowed to come back and be a respected human being. Chris Chase I would punch you in the face if I met you in person for being such an insensitive dick.

-- Chris Chase should get the national stupid writer award for this article

Shut up, DeAngelo Hall

2009-12-29T22:04:00.000-05:00

I'm laid up in bed today and wasn't going to write about the Redskins (there will be plenty of time for that next week when Jim Zorn gets what should have been coming to him after the Detroit loss) but then I saw this quote from DeAngelo Hall in Thomas Boswell's column:

"If you go by the last two weeks, we look like a college football team," cornerback DeAngelo Hall said. "If you're going by this to decide who goes, who stays, there hasn't been a great case for anybody on this 53-man roster."

While I don't despise DeAngelo nearly as much as I do Albert Haynesworth and Laron Landry and I normally love guys who talk with honesty, listening to DeAngelo babble all season about his problems and the team's problems has been infuriating. Stop analyzing your suckiness and start doing something to stop it. The whole self-reflection schtick only works if you make improvements. If you blow for 15 straight weeks, it doesn't have the same candor, you know?

Remembering George Michael

2009-12-24T11:48:00.000-05:00

I don't think it was until I was eight or nine years old that I even realized there was another sportscaster in D.C. besides George Michael. There were other reasons to watch channel 7 or channel 9, sure, but I don't know anyone who did. When it was 6:45 in D.C. the only channel to watch was channel 4 with George.
It was particularly true on those Redskins Mondays when George and Sonny Jurgensen would have a sit down with the head coach in the 5 p.m. or 6 p.m. hour (Gibbs always did it earlier, Bugel took the later shift upon the return) to discuss what went right or wrong the day before. George was always a Redskins apologist, but he didn't hesitate to call out a player or ask what the hell was going on to the always-amused coach at his side.
NBC 4 on Mondays was the only place to go for next-day Redskins coverage and pre-game was all about Michael's Redskins Report with Sonny, John Riggins, Michael Wilbon and, sometimes, Tony Kornheiser (long before the days of PTI). When NBC offered a buy-out to Michael in 2007 he took it. I don't think I've watched the local sports report since.
Here's what I wrote about Michael on that evening:

Once, while on a family trip, I remember sitting on a hotel bed late at night and flipping through the channels, desperate for something to watch. Eventually I stumbled upon The Sports Machine, George Michael's legendary sports highlight show. Growing up outside of Washington D.C., Michael was a larger-than-life figure in the sports world and his Sports Machine was one of those mythical programs that a nine-year old rarely got to see, since we were usually in bed by the time it was broadcast at 11:30 on Sunday nights.
So in that hotel room far from D.C. that night, I wondered, "why is our George Michael breaking out his Sports Machine here?" It never occurred to me that Michael's program was nationally syndicated and, therefore, shown all over the country. And it was later still that I realized Michael's show was SportsCenter before there was Sportscenter. Compressed highlights set to music and shown at a breakneck pace, schmaltzy profiles and a focus on the lighter side of sports; Michael's show was revolutionary in a time when cable was still in its infancy.
Those outside the D.C. area likely know Michael only through that program, but those around town know him as the go-to guy for any local sports news. If something was going on in D.C. sports, the only place to get the scoop was on Michael's 6:45 sportscast on Channel 4 (NBC).
My mom's strict no-TV-during-dinner was routinely ignored on Mondays when Michael and 'Skins legend Sonny Jurgersen would interview the Redskins coach following the previous day's game. Tuesday meant "Tuesday Replays". And Thursday gave us "Thursday Bloopers".
When I went to college the only things I missed about home were reading a hard copy of The Washington Post every morning and missing out on those Monday interviews. I remember sitting on the floor of a ragged house in Winston-Salem, listening to George and Sonny interview Marty Schottenheimer about the benching of Jeff George, as my mom held the phone up to her television in Maryland so I could hear.
Michael's banter with Sonny was always fun, as were the ribbings he took from John Riggins during the taping of the weekly show The Redskins Report, for which Michael served as host. It was also on that program that two Washington Post sportswriters made their television debuts, bickering back and forth with one another and Riggo, Michael and Sonny. ESPN execs took notice and those writers, Michael Wilbon and Tony Kornheiser, are celebrating their sixth year on Pardon the Interruption.
At times, Michael could be abrasive. He could be bull-headed. And, oftentimes, he was flat-out wrong. Part of it was schtick, part of it was being a homer for all Washington sports teams. Nobody would have any trouble coming up with criticism of George Michael, but that's mainly because they got to know him so well through television.
In one hour, though, it will all be over as George Michael will be performing his final sportscast on NBC4. He declined a contract extension in November after GE cutbacks for NBC would have forced Michael to fire most of his sports staff.
Sure, he'll still conduct his must-see interviews from Redskins Park on Mondays after games and he'll still moderate Redskins Report and its' spring-time replacement Full Court Press, but he won't be there at the desk when Joe Gibbs retires or when the Wizards make the Eastern Conference Finals or when Maryland or Georgetown go back to the Final Four. He won't be joking around with his old pal Jim Vance or showing us his "Tuesday Replays" or boring us with highlights of rodeo and NASCAR.
Tonight is the end of an era in Washington D.C. and even if Michael makes a return to the airwaves on another network, it will never be the same.

RIP, George.

Giants 45, Redskins 12 -- Is Campbell's Time Almost Done?

2009-12-22T00:21:00.000-05:00

I'm a Jason Campbell guy. Always have been. But even I was amused this week by the suddenly revisionist history that suggested Campbell was some sort of quarterbacking savant victimized by frequent coaching turnover and a miserable offensive line. I mean, I like the guy. I like given the right circumstances he can be a fine quarterback. But changing to the west coast offense doesn't have any affect on a QB's ability to throw a deep pass. And a makeshift offensive line doesn't render one unable to audible at the line of scrimmage.
I mention this tonight because Campbell may be in the final throes of his Redskins career and, if that's true, I'm not going to be too torn up about it. I think he should be the quarterback next year while the team nurtures a young talent or sets its sights on trade bait/free agency for 2010 or 2011, but it's not going to be a travesty if he's not.
Tonight wasn't Jason Campbell's fault, but he didn't do anything to help it out. And that's the thing with him; he's almost never the difference maker. He's adequate enough to do the right things for the right team, but he's not a guy who's going to go out and win them for you. He's like a poor man's Eli Manning.
This didn't stop Malcolm Gladwell from hilariously suggesting that Campbell could be as good as Eli's brother:

Everyone always says what an incredible advantage it has been for Peyton Manning to have had the same offensive coordinator and the same offensive system his entire career. Football offenses are so complex now that they take years to master properly, and having one system in place from the beginning has allowed Manning to capitalize on every inch of his talent. On the other hand, someone like Jason Campbell has had a different offensive coordinator in virtually every season of his pro and college career (and I'm guessing he'll get another this offseason). I'm not convinced that it's possible to say, with certainty, that Campbell has less ability than Manning. I'm only sure we can say that Campbell has not been in a situation that has allowed him to exploit his talent the way Manning has. We just don't know how good he is capable of being -- and we may never know.

Oh, I'm quite convinced that it's possible to say, with certainty, that Campbell has less ability than Manning. That's no knock on Campbell. There are maybe five guys in history who have as much ability as Peyton.
But this is provocative for the sake of being provocative. Stick to pop psychology, Malcolm. If the point is that the NFL is the sport in which players are most dependent on teammates and coaches, that's not exactly groundbreaking theory. Tom Brady isn't Tom Brady if he's not on the Patriots. Jerry Rice would have been just another great receiver without Joe Montana and Steve Young. But you put Andre Johnson on the field with Peyton Manning and all of a sudden maybe he's the best of all-time.
That doesn't happen in the other sports. Kobe might not have won titles without Shaq or Pau Gasol, but his individual greatness didn't change when they weren't there. And great players slum it on lousy teams in baseball all the time.
About tonight's game? Eh, I don't really care. My mom said it's the first time ever she didn't watch the second half of a game. I didn't either. I played foosball for most of the later half of the game. It's just not worth watching.
This may have been a good thing though. Now Bruce Allen won't think that this team, as currently constructed, is anywhere near being an elite team. Frankly, I wouldn't mind if he keeps Orakpo, Cooley, London and Devin Thomas and guts the rest of the roster. (What about Haynesworth? I don't really care to root for him. He's great and can change the game inside, but he's a punk, takes too many plays off and is probably resented by the younger guys on the team. I want to like the team I root for. If I had a guy like Haynesworth or Jay Cutler, I'll root for them and cheer them, but I won't like it as much)
So, that's that. A 33-point loss to a heated division rival. A 4-10 overall record, a lame duck coach who should have been canned in September looking more clueless than Wade Phillips, a new GM and an owner who is more hated in this city than Aaron Burr. (We still hate Aaron Burr, right?) Hell of a start to Christmas week.

Al-Farouq!

2009-12-21T13:33:00.000-05:00

Some of his decisions can be maddening (you're not a point guard with range, so stop playing like it), but when Al-Farouq Aminu does stuff like this, it's worth it:

A guy like Bruce Allen is exactly what the Redskins front office needs

2009-12-17T22:09:00.001-05:00

Bruce Allen is the perfect hire for the Washington Redskins. Vinny Cerrato leaving was the big event, but having Dan Snyder not fall into the always-fatal trap of hiring a coach/GM combination to replace him is just as important. There needs to be a separation of church and state (or shopping for and cooking the groceries, as Bill Parcells once famously put it) in the NFL and had Snyder handed over the reigns to someone uninterested in such a concept (Bill Cowher), we'd have been in for just as much tumult over the next few years.

Instead, Snyder made the first sensible hire of his tenure as Redskins owner. (Joe Gibbs doesn't count. That was Gibbs saying "I'm coming back", not anything that had to do with Snyder.) It's logical and measured. It's sensible. If it weren't a teensy-bit flashy (Allen is the son of Redskins legend. after all), it would be as anti-Danny as it gets.

Some other thoughts:

* It's weird to feel excited about something that won't theoretically pay immediate dividends. Although, in the NFL a 10-win season can often be achieved with a move or two in the off-season, so who knows. But it does feel a lot like getting one of those treasury bonds when you're 12. You know something good is coming, but patience isn't one of my many virtues.

* In case there was ever any question about whether Dan Snyder runs a tight ship over at Redskins Park, the fact that this story didn't leak out ANYWHERE at anytime is pretty stunning. There are dozens of people whose job it is to break news on the Redskins and nobody sniffed out any of this. This goes to show that Snyder doesn't make decision by committee. Leaks happen when a lot of people know about things. This is now the third time Snyder has stunned the press (that I can remember off the top of my head): Hiring Gibbs, hiring Zorn, firing Cerrato/hiring Allen.

* Speaking of "firings", all this talk about Vinny resigning is awful. He didn't resign. He was canned. People don't resign and then have their jobs filled two hours later. With the send-off that asshole gave to Jim Zorn (read Steinz for the details), letting him appear like he left on his own terms was too classy a gesture.

* Not to rain on your parade or anything, but these are the names of the first players selected in each of the NFL drafts Allen ran in Oakland and Tampa: Napoleon Kaufman, Rickey Dudley, Darrell Russell, Charles Woodson, Matt Stinchcomb, SEBASTIAN JANIKOWSKI, Derrick Gibson, Phillip Buchanon. Michael Clayton, Davin Joseph, Gaines Adams. Except for Woodson, who was a no-brainer, that's an awfully Cerrato-ian list.

But drafts are crap shoots (especially when you work for Al Davis). It's one thing to think Gaines Adams is going to be good, it's another to draft three pass catchers with your first three picks (and as far as I can see, Allen has never done that -- so, progress).

* For the first time in two years, I'm happy with the direction of the Washington Redskins. Fourteen hours ago, I couldn't have imagined saying that. The train may finally be pulling into the station.

Vinny Cerrato Resigns As Redskins VP, Snyder Lackey

2009-12-17T08:36:00.002-05:00

Why now? Because Dan Snyder is incapable of making a normal decision for any purposes, of course. Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm on cloud nine with the news and couldn't be happier. But the timing is a bit strange, no? Does he want Mike Holmgren that bad? Did he figure other teams were already talking to Cowher and Shanahan so he needed to tidy his house to make introductions more presentable? Does this mean Vinny is gone for good or is he sticking around?

A lot of questions today, but good news seems to be on the horizon. Dan Snyder has seemingly recognized that something needs to change in order for his Super Bowl goals to be realized. It's a first step, but it's the first step in two years that shows the Washington Redskins may finally be going down the right path.

For my less-rushed take on the matter, here's my Cerrato post from Shutdown Corner. It's basically the same thing I'd have written here, only with less inside jokes and cursing.

Two years too late, Shaun Suisham gets cut. Should Clinton Portis be next?

2009-12-08T15:12:00.003-05:00

Our long local nightmare is over: After three seasons of big misses, short kickoffs and enough success to fool you into thinking he was decent, the Washington Redskins cut kicker Shaun Suisham today.
It should have been after the 2008 playoff game in which he ducked a 30-yarder that would have put the Redskins up by four and would have given the team all the momentum after a furious comeback against the Seahawks. After the miss, it felt like the 'Skins were down by 40. It ended up being Joe Gibbs' final game (as predicted in the end of that post).
There's joy today in D.C. because of the move, but it signals the sheer and utter incompetence of the Redskins front office and coaching staff. Danny Smith's special teams, save for some innovative trick plays, are horrid, mainly because he seems to be a loyal guy who doesn't want to make changes. (An unstable roster makes it too easy to pin blame on him, perhaps?) He's skated because people in this town are more concerned with blaming the big-ticket players like Jason Campbell and Clinton Portis. But it's the little things that kill football teams.
The 2000 Redskins would have made the playoffs with an average kicker. They lost three games because of the revolving door of Eddie Murray, Michael Husted, Scott Bentley, Kris Heppner and Brett Conway. On that famed $100 million team, it was the kicker who sunk the ship. Norv would have still had a job if Snyder had brought in a leg.
The 2008 playoff game was lost by special teams, just as countless games during the Joe Gibbs era were (punting was the main culprit). But nobody cared much about Shaun Suisham until he made the huge errors. The numbers say he isn't that bad, after all! (Comparing numbers through eras in football is a fool's errand.) He had the most misses of any kicker in the NFL last year, yet he came into camp without any legitimate competition. (There was someone there - whose name now escapes me -- but the job was always Suisham's.) That's not his fault, that's Snyder and Smith and Zorn's.
Other news today: Clinton Portis is out for the year with his concussion. He's been my favorite player on the 'Skins since his arrival (and probably since Art Monk), but he's not much longer for this league. His days of being a dominant back are over. He has over 2,100 carries since his career began and he's slowing quickly. We all know how running backs get old real fast (LaDanian, Edgerrin, Shaun Alexander). Portis is there. He may have a little left in the tank, enough for a 1,000 yard season if he stays healthy, but he's going to be running on fumes soon. Clinton is the past, not the future. With a new regime coming to town next year, why not have a new running back?
How does cutting players work in an uncapped year? Because if the 'Skins can get out from under Clinton's contract, they should consider it. But like with Shaun Suisham, they'll undoubtedly hold on for too long.

Redskins collapse against Saints

2009-12-06T20:04:00.005-05:00

It wasn't until the Redskins had 1st-and-goal at the four-yard line, holding a seven-point lead with 2:46 left that I let myself think they were actually going to beat the undefeated New Orleans Saints. Gregg Williams' "vaunted" defense hadn't been able to stop the 'Skins all day, particularly in the passing game, so I let myself get snookered into thinking Jason Campbell would get it to Devin Thomas or Santana Moss for a TD. And, if not, Shaun Suisham would hit a field goal no longer than an extra point to give Washington a insurmountable 10-point lead. Obviously, even the little faith I had was too much.
After three give-up running plays, Suisham missed a 23-yarder and, well, you know what happened next. The instant he missed it there was no doubt what was going to happen next.
This is what Suisham does. He is good enough to make you think he's not going to blow the game Mickelson-style, but then he does. He did in the Seattle playoff game in 2008 and he did it last year against Dallas and he did it last week against Dallas too. When the kicks don't matter, he's great. When they do, he's completely worthless. (And I don't want to hear about a high snap. It wasn't that high and it's, again, a TWENTY-THREE YARDER.)
But it wasn't just Suisham today. There's plenty of blame to go around, so here goes:

-- Jim Zorn -- Despite Jason Campbell throwing for the most yards in his career, Zorn still exhibited no trust in his quarterback, deciding to run ROCK CARTWRIGHT three times inside the four. Worst of all, he didn't even play it safe by playing it safe. The Redskins ran to the right hash, setting up Suisham for a semi-weird angle. If you're going to lay down like dogs, at least do so in the middle of the field.

Albert Haynesworth -- Haynesworth got winded when the Saints were going for the game-tying score, so he laid on the ground, milked an injury and gave the Saints a free stoppage of the clock. Then, when they scored, the 'Skins only had two timeouts instead of three. After the game he complained about Suisham not doing his job. Yeah, I hate it when people don't do their jobs, Albert. Speaking of which, how did you play in weeks 12 and 13 against NFC East opponents? Oh, you missed them with a small injury? Right.

Laron Landry -- If he got beat any more today the Saints receivers could have been charged with a hate crime: against brainless, stupidly-dressed, whiffing douchebags.

Kareem Moore -- Kareem, you play in the secondary because, at some point in your football career, somebody deemed you incapable of playing offense. So instead of trying to make a spin move after getting hit during interception returns, GO DOWN TO THE GROUND AT FIRST CONTACT. Instead, Moore tried to play Earl Campbell and fumbled, giving the Saints the game-tying TD before the half. As the play was being reviewed I Tweeted that the Redskins didn't deserve the call to be changed because of Moore's stupidity. (I said the same thing last night when Colt McCoy bizarrely almost let the clock run out in the Big 12 Championship.) However, it sure did look like it: a) wasn't an interception and b) if it was, Moore was down by contract. But the evidence wasn't necessarily there to overturn it. I wasn't too upset about this play until ...

Refs -- ... the overturn of the Mike Sellers fumble at the end of the game. If you can't overturn the Moore play, then you can't overturn Sellers. It doesn't even matter that it looked like his elbow was down before the ball came out. What matters is that YOU CAN'T TELL IF HIS ELBOW WAS DOWN BEFORE THE BALL CAME OUT. There's no way there was enough evidence to change the call on the field. You may think he fumbled, but you can't say you're sure about it. How the ref could overturn that play but leave the Moore INT untouched is baffling.
And therein lies my problem with replay. I don't like it, never have. If you need to look at the same replay more than once to determine what happens on a play, then there isn't enough evidence to overturn the call on the field. As my buddy Jaf always says, football plays happen at full-speed. To slow down replays frame-by-frame changes the entire context of the replay. I realize replay isn't going away, so here's my proposal: Refs (or, more appropriately, a single replay official -- how long did it take that fool to make calls today?) should get access to three camera angles played at full speed. If they can't tell from any of those angles what happened on the play, the call on the field stands.
I hate officials and think they're terrible at their job by and large, but I think replay has made them worse. If replay were infallible then I wouldn't have a problem. But every week there are ridiculous calls made by refs under the hood which completely goes against the whole concept of replay.
And, by the way, the Sellers play was completely BS from the start. Multiple whistles blew the play dead, which caused Sellers to stop playing. He could have had a shot at getting the ball or, at least, getting the ball out of bounds. But because multiple officials blew the whistle, he stopped. The ball was only picked up by the Saints as an afterthought. It was a complete joke.

Shaun Suisham -- Again. He should have been cut after the Seattle playoff game and he should be cut tomorrow.

After two straight losses, Wake back on track with upset of Gonzaga

2009-12-05T23:04:00.000-05:00

Wake Forest's 77-75 win in Spokane tonight over Gonzaga was every bit as great as the Deacs loss last week to William & Mary was awful. There are plenty of concerns about Wake's team, but now isn't the time to harp on them. Nothing can take me down off this high. I watched the sun rise at Liza's.
Most exciting is the play of freshman Ari Stewart and C.J. Harris. Stewart (whose first name is pronounced "air-ee", not "R-ee") was 6-9 from the floor, including 4-4 from beyond the arc. Harris got to the free throw line 15 times, converting 13 of his tries. The rest of the team was only 8-13 from the stripe.
Gonzaga had been 65-3 at their new home, the McCarthey Athletic Center, which opened in 2004.
Unlike the game against Purdue on Tuesday, Wake looked a little more active on offense, despite the erratic play of Al-Farouq Aminu. But, no, we're not talking about the problems. Even though -- no. No problems tonight. There will be plenty of time for that later.
Wake is off for exams for the next week, before two in-state games against Elon and UNC-Wilmington, games which should be easy Ws but can't be considered such after the W&M debacle. Then, on Dec. 20, the Deacs open ACC play against N.C. State. The last time they opened the conference season before the new year, Chris Paul led Wake to a triple-overtime win in Chapel Hill.

Can the Redskins beat the Saints? I say they will, but if history is any indication, no.

2009-12-05T18:05:00.001-05:00

After having a few last night downtown, I got into a conversation with a guy at the bar about the Redskins. I then proceeded to express my belief that the 'Skins will beat the Saints tomorrow. It dawned on me later that the last time I talked to a stranger in a bar in DC about a ridiculous prediction of the Redskins besting a far-superior team, they then went out and lost 52-7 to the Patriots.
Oh well.

I Couldn't Care Less About Tiger Woods Having An Affair(s)

2009-12-03T18:13:00.002-05:00

With the Redskins 2009 becoming completely irrelevant (that's why they had to fire Zorn after the Lions game -- nobody cares anymore because why should anyone care about someone with lame-duck status? I mean, the Bush-opposition quited down after Obama was elected because the haters saw the light at the end of the tunnel) and me being busy at Yahoo!, I haven't posted over here as much as I'd like. Fear not, the three of you who are disappointed that I haven't written much, The Player Hater's Ball isn't going anywhere. I write when I'm inspired to do so and the Redskins have elicited almost no reaction from me in weeks (except for the Dallas game, which went exactly as we all expected) so what am I supposed to write here: Zorn still is coach, team still doesn't care, Haynesworth is a baby, Laron Landry isn't good enough to be a backup on any NFL team, DeAngelo Hall is a punk, Shaun Suisham can only make kicks that don't matter? I've said it all before. When the coaching carousel begins in January, you know I'll be all over it.
I sat down today to write because I've yet to post anything here or at Yahoo! about Tiger Woods and I've got a few things on my mind. Here goes:

-- This will blow over. It always does. But Tiger and his people should have been out in front of the story from the get go. He should have admitted to affairs, made up a logical story about what happened and then hid during the fall-out. Then schedule a Christmas-time sit-down with Oprah, weather the storm at the first PGA tournament in January and, bam, everyone forgets. Look at Rick Pitino. Did you ever think you'd look at him and not think of dinner tables and abortions again?
It baffles me that Tiger evidently got such bad advice as to let this thing fester before the other allegations came out. Between the White House and the party crashers and this, I've been in disbelief about how people who should have the best public relations advice have failed miserably in handling bad situations.

-- Here's why I don't really care about Tiger's affair: Unlike most politicians who get embroiled in sex scandals (John Edwards being the best example), Tiger didn't hold himself up to be a paragon of moral virtue. What disgusted me so much about Edwards and others is that they fool people into thinking their family life is so pure, all while schtupping it to some chick on their staff. They campaign on it. They use their wives and children as political props. They use emotional goodwill to curry favor with voters, all of which is a lie. The hypocrisy is galling. (Mickey Kaus is the best read on the subject.)
I don't see that with Tiger though. Let me say, I don't think the media is being too hard on Tiger, not at all. He reaps the benefits of being in the public eye, so he should expect to be scrutinized just as closely for his flaws. But I also don't think Tiger has ever gone out of his way to act like he's some human ideal. He doesn't flaunt his wife or his kids, never really talks about his values and, even when he does charitable work (like his AT&T National, which benefits soldiers), he doesn't beat you over the head with how great he is for doing it. Nike has controlled his image, of course. Those who think Tiger was somehow more than the greatest athlete of his generation, they're just falling for advertising hook, line and sinker. Tiger is a great golfer. Why did we ever think he wouldn't screw around on his wife? What has he ever done to suggest that he wouldn't? Or would, for that matter?

-- Charlie Pierce ground his axe pretty well with a piece about the old, pre-media training Woods. In it he makes the wild accusation that Tiger liked to tell dirty jokes and liked to chase tail. He said it was well-known that Tiger was a "hound" in his early days. (Can anyone be a "hound" at 21?) It's a startling claim. I mean, a young, rich athlete liked to have sex with a lot of women? I can't believe it! What a scoop!

-- I wonder what Phil Mickelson thinks about all this? I'd wonder if he'd try to cheat on his wife to see if that's why Tiger is so good, but I'm sure he'd fall apart before getting to the final hole.

The Deacs Sign Five Recruits

2009-11-14T11:22:00.002-05:00

All had committed to Wake in the previous months, but things were made official yesterday: http://wakeforestsports.cstv.com/sports/m-baskbl/spec-rel/111309aaa.html

The Redskins Would Be More Apathetic If They Weren't So Lethargic

2009-11-08T21:45:00.000-05:00

I got a text from my buddy Rob today reading: "I just wish I had something else to do today." I had been thinking the same thing. After the Falcons first play from scrimmage I instantly kicked myself for not playing golf today.
My mom says it's the first time in her [fill in the blank with how long you think it's been since my mom was a young'n] years watching the Redskins that she wanted to turn off the TV. I went out to watch the game at a bar for the first time since college, and the only reason I would do it then is because the games weren't on TV. I like watching the games in peace with a select few friends so I can rant and rave and curse Danny Smith in the privacy of my own (or a familiar) home. Today: Didn't care at all.
So am I going to write about the game? Even if I could remember more than three things about it (which I can't), I wouldn't. I just don't care.
Usually when a team is bad there's something to look forward to. You can make excuses. The coach is young, the quarterback is green, the offensive line is gelling, the defense is good even if the offense sucks. None of those things are true with the Redskins. There is literally no reason to watch or root for this team, other than the fact that they wear burgundy and gold. That's a big reason and it's why I do still watch. But not firing Jim Zorn has turned this season into something completely meaningless. The players don't care, the coaches don't care, the fans don't care. It wouldn't be THAT much better with Greg Blache or Jerry Gray or whomever at the helm, but at least there'd be a glimmer of hope. Now, I just can't wait until this team is blew up. Blowed up. Blown up. Whatever. Either way, the Redskins are debacled.

Snyder's Apology

2009-11-04T20:31:00.000-05:00

Here's the problem with Snyder's apology to fans: It clearly shows that he's not a stupid man. Because he does all these ridiculous things like banning signs and keeping Cerrato as his puppet and signing Deion Sanders, people like to think he's a bumbling, egomaniacal doofus who is incompetent in every facet of life. Only one of those things is true, though.
This is why I still hold out hope. I always use the George Steinbrenner comparison. It's inaccurate in a number of ways (the Yanks won a World Series in the '70s before struggling throughout the 80s and I'm sure he never banned critical igns under the guise of safety), but it's all I have to cling to.
This was a good move by Snyder. I don't think it was necessary, but at least it's a sign that he's not completely unaware of what's going on around him.

View more news videos at: http://www.nbcwashington.com/video.

Happy Halloween From The Player Hater's Ball

2009-10-31T03:29:00.004-04:00

And Happy Birthday, Mom.
To celebrate the day (Halloween, not my mom's birthday), here's a song that should be a Halloween classic, but doesn't get the respect it deserves. My cousins and I used to rap to this in their basement when it came out, until one of them became so scared of it that our aunt made us stop.

Classic Sports Illustrated Cover Shows It's Business As Usual With The Redskins

2009-10-28T23:45:00.000-04:00

The Sports Illustrated cover on August 16, 1976 features Calvin Hill (father of Grant), who was one of four high-priced free agents brought to Washington to get the team back to the playoffs. The others: Jean Fugget, former Heisman Trophy winner Pat Sullivan and another name you might remember: a mowhawked malcontent from the Jets named John Riggins.

As expected, the signing bonanza flopped even though the team made it to the playoffs in '76. But, over the next four seasons they were good enough to be a contender, but not good enough to make those smaller playoff fields. Eventually the team regressed, two coaches were let go as the records spiraled toward mediocrity and new owner Jack Kent Cooke made a surprise hire when he swiped a little-known assistant from San Diego to be his first head coach in 1981. Eleven years later, there would be three Super Bowl trophies at Redskins Park.

Maybe there's similar good news on the horizon, but I doubt it.
In the past few days I've found myself reading my old books and newspapers from the Redskins glory days so I can remind myself how much I love the team. It still excites me to read about the '83 season or read Rypien's passing stats from '91. I still love talking about the games I went to and the memories from working at RFK. It makes me irrationally happy.

The Worst Game Description You'll Ever See

2009-10-28T22:00:00.000-04:00

Tonight, the Detroit Pistons and Memphis Grizzlies opened their 2009 NBA seasons and here's how Comcast chose to describe the meeting:

The Player Hater's Podcast: Episode 4 -- Guest Russ Rubin Talks Skins, Gambling and NBA

2009-10-28T13:01:00.002-04:00

Note: The video is now working at Vimeo after it was too lengthy for YouTube. I need to buy server space ASAP.

The Player's Haters Podcast celebrates its fourth episode with its first guest, Russ Rubin, formerly the voice of BU hockey and a friend of mine since middle school. We talk about attending the Redskins game, whether I was wrong to bet on the Eagles and whether anybody should care that it's NBA season.

The Player Hater's Podcast: Episode 4 -- Guest Russ Rubin Talks Skins, Gambling and NBA from Chris Chase on Vimeo.

Soccer, Tennis and Crystal Meth

2009-10-28T08:50:00.000-04:00

Because the Soccer Experts Blog is still a stand alone entity at Yahoo! Sports, it was tough to find my post about whether the EPL can succeed in America unless you went to the site's soccer page. Here's the link. Also, go and read those excerpts from the Agassi piece about the first time he tried crystal meth. Crazy stuff.

The Player Hater's Podcast: Episode 3 -- Shut Up About the Sign Ban Already

2009-10-27T21:11:00.001-04:00

Is it bad business practice for Dan Snyder to be banning signs from FedEx Field? Of course. But what do you expect? Don't go to the games if you don't want to be subject to his Draconian policies. It's pretty easy. But, no, people feel the need to continue putting money in his pocket, so I have no sympathy for them. Yes, he's a jackass. But you all are even worse for going to the games, as I mention in my latest podcast.

(Here's the link to the Mr. Irrelevant story I cite. And here's the sign in downtown Bethesda I mention.)

Thanks to John Swofford, The ACC Tournament Downsizes

2009-10-25T12:58:00.000-04:00

I think I dislike ACC commissioner John Swofford even more than Dan Snyder and Vinny Cerrato. The errors of those two jackasses, you see, can one day be righted. Swofford's follies are irreversable. Letting in Virginia Tech, Boston College and Miami ruined the ACC and, so far there has been no benefit, other than that it pleased Mark Warner. Now Swofford's actions are hitting the ACC where it counts, the ACC tournament. Because of sagging attendance, the 2012 ACC basketball tournament will be held at Philips Arena in Atlanta and not the Georgia Dome.
This isn't about the recession as much as its about people not wanting to commit to buying four full days of mediocre basketball games.
The Thursday games have ruined the tournament, forcing bad match-ups and, sometimes, worse quarterfinal games upon a group of fans used to seeing high-quality basketball in a three-day stretch.
Back in the day an ACC fan could buy a book with little uncertainty. They'd show up Thursday, go to the games starting on Friday and know they'd see their team at least once. It was a great way to spend a weekend.
Now because of the full day of games on Thursday, people have to leave earlier, stay longer and watch Seth Greenberg. Who the hell wants to do that? I love ACC basketball more than anything, but that's too much even for me.
It makes much less sense to buy tickets in advance now unless you know you're team is going to get a bye. And if your team doesn't, there's a 50/50 chance they won't make it to Friday, making your trip meaningless.
Plus, the Friday slate has become so diluted with teams that pull Thursday upsets that the quality of basketball has diminished greatly. Before you were guarnanteed to see at least five compelling match-ups at the ACC tournament. Now you're lucky if there's two.
Thanks, John.

I Can Already Predict the Source of My Frustration Come February:

2009-10-24T14:49:00.000-04:00

From a recap of the Black & Gold scrimmage by CumberlandDeac on the Wake Forest message board:

Aminu started a little slow, but came on strong after a while. I believe he was 2-3 from the 3 point line.

Ahh, let the overconfidence in his perimeter game begin. Dino needs to put a stop to it now.

Redskins Insider Post About Chris Samuels Retiring Goes Down The Memory Hole

2009-10-23T19:44:00.003-04:00

This was supposed to be a post about Chris Samuels retiring, as was reported by The Washington Post's Jason Reid a few hours ago. But now that report has been refuted, as Reid is reporting that Samuels is merely done for the season and that a decision about retirement will come at the end of the year.
That's fine, mistakes happen all the time in blogging/journalism. What's not fine is that the original post about Samuels seems to have been buried by The Post. Click on the link now and all you get is an error message. It's as if the first post never existed. The new one says it's an "update", but that's completely disingenuous. Updates don't involve massive re-writes and changing the entire tenor of a post.
Here was the lede of the original entry (which is still showing up on Google):

Redskins Pro Bowl left tackle Chris Samuels has decided to retire because of a severe neck injury he suffered about two weeks ago.

And the new one:

Redskins Pro Bowl left tackle Chris Samuels has decided to sit out the remainder of this season and most likely will retire because of a severe neck injury he suffered about two weeks ago, league sources said.

Big difference. The first post (Samuels retires) was corrected with a new lede (Samuels out for season, may retire), with no mention being made of the earlier, erroneous report which was picked up by news outlets nationwide.
I may be wrong (perhaps this is a technical error or something) and I hope so, but it appears as if Reid (or whomever) was trying to cover their ass by deleting the erroneous report and covering it up with a newer, more accurate one.
Look, I don't like playing the journalism or morality police, but if my suspicious are true, that's completely bush league. Correcting minor errors is fine, acting like a post never existed is fundamentally dishonest.

Dan Snyder: Just Call Him King Darius (That History Major Is Finally Paying Off!)

2009-10-22T20:16:00.000-04:00

Jim Zorn isn't the only man Dan Snyder and Vinny Cerrato have martyred in the last two years. While looking up something else on The Player Hater's Ball, I stumbled across this entry written during the Redskins coaching search:

Here's my question: If Dinny (writing Dan and Vinny became too superfluous; plus they're single-handedly disproving the old maxin "two heads are better than one" - they need a nickname) is completely against hiring Gregg Williams, why haven't they been leaking negative stuff to the press about him? Dinny knows that public perception of the Redskins is crucial, this is why Jim Fassel is still unemployed. So why have they failed to put out some on-the-record, unattributed stuff about him? Watch, it's easy:

According to senior team officials, Williams' defensive players became disenchanted with his abrasive coaching style late in the season. His standing was also hurt by poor interviews in which his leadership abilities came into question.
You see? And I just made that up in 15 seconds.
Yet through inaction, Dinny has turned Williams into a martyr. It's gotten so bad that people who were on the fence about him just two weeks ago (like me) are demanding that he be hired. The Redskins rarely lose PR battles, but they are getting killed on this one.

The Onion Is Now Mocking The Redskins Too

2009-10-20T21:27:00.000-04:00

You know how the decision to re-assign Jim Zorn is playing out in the national media? Exactly the way everyone thought it would. Way to go, Danny Boy.

The Onion: "Redskins Hold Press Conference to Announce They Are Still Sort Of A Football Team"

Oh, and the 'Skins are seven-point home underdogs to a team that just lost to the Oakland Raiders.

The Player Hater's Podcast: Episode 2 -- Washington Post Redesign

2009-10-20T21:23:00.000-04:00

For my second podcast, I rant about the changes made by another Washington institution, the Washington Post. The paper underwent a massive redesign this week, changing fonts, headline styles and various other things that upset the traditionalist in me. I don't get as riled up as I did yesterday (and I'm nursing a fever, so I sound a little under the weather) but, if you're interested, there are probably a few worse ways to spend 10 minutes of your afternoon:

The Player Hater's Podcast: Episode 1 -- Fire Jim Zorn

2009-10-19T18:50:00.000-04:00

While driving to work this morning I had a great idea. Like most of my ideas, it was better in conception than in implementation. Instead of writing another post eviscerating Dan Snyder and Vinny Cerrato, I decided I'd finally start my long-rumored podcast. (I was the only one rumoring this, mind you.) It was a great thought, except that I didn't think too much about what I'd do after I recorded it. This is why, after 90 minutes of muffled curses, failed attempts and calls to my old webhosting service, it's embedded on YouTube instead of in a normal way. It's fitting that I put as much planning into this as Dan Snyder did with his decision to give playcalling duties to Jim Zorn.
Anyway, as I say in ~~this clip of me talking that I've uploaded to an online video service~~ "podcast", I have no idea whether this will continue. If it does, I'll do it properly next time. Let's call this a beta run. I'd be happy to hear any feedback:

Zorn Stripped of Playcalling Duties, Apparently Will Keep Job

2009-10-18T20:54:00.002-04:00

There are plenty of reasons the Redskins could wait until after next week's Monday night game to fire Jim Zorn. None of them make sense.
A half-empty stadium, an apathetic team and a performance that ranks up with the most pitiful in the NFL this season was the result of keeping Zorn around this week. Next Monday, in front of a national television audience, we'll see hours of pre-game criticism of Zorn and Snyder, thousands of empty seats, a ton of Eagles fans and another embarrassing effort in front of millions. There is no good reason to keep Jim Zorn around. Everyone, especially Zorn himself, knows he has no hope of keeping his job after the season is over. Why delay the inevitable?
Snyder and Cerrato tried to do something about the situation tonight but, as usual, swung, missed and hit themselves in the crotch with the effort. Zorn was stripped of playcalling duties tonight, with no successor yet named. (Because why on earth would anybody have a f------ plan?! It's like this possibility hadn't been considered at all until this exact moment.)
This belies the entire argument that you can't fire Zorn because there would be nobody to call plays if he left, by the way. So much for that one. That whole line of thinking never made sense though. It's not like Zorn's playcalling has been so good that it ever made him indispensable. The whole point is that he's terrible at calling plays. It's the main reason he should be fired. How is his main flaw being used as a defense of keeping his job? When you fire a coach it's obviously going to leave a void somewhere, yet teams still do it all the time. It's basically like saying, "we can't fire our defensive coordinator because then who will coordinate the defense?!"
Stripping Zorn of his playcalling duties makes him COMPLETELY superfluous. There's LESS reason to keep him around now. What's he going to work on all day now, timeout management? What changes now? Why does this make the team better? Firing Zorn makes the team better because it will light a fire under apathetic players and disinterested fans. Keeping Zorn around as a sort of lameduck coach accomplishes what, exactly?
The biggest problem with this is that, if the Redskins beat the Eagles Monday (which is possible), they're pretty muh stuck with Zorn the rest of the season. I don't think they'll beat Philly because, frankly, Washington is the worst team in the NFL right now. But they could. It's not far-fetched. And if they do, it makes it impossible to fire Zorn because there will be "evidence" the new system will work, even though it's doomed to fail. It will be specious reasoning not seen since Homer's Bear Patrol.
Since Joe Gibbs stepped down in January 2008, every decision made by Dan Snyder and Vinny Cerrato has been the wrong one. Why would any of us think they'd get it right this time around?

The Debacle Continues: Chiefs 14 -- Redskins 6

2009-10-18T15:56:00.000-04:00

Funny Like a Clown: Duke Basketball's Goodfellas Poster

2009-10-18T12:54:00.000-04:00

This is the official 2009-2010 team poster for Duke basketball. Nothing like a timely pop culture reference that compares your dorky, charge-taking bunch of March-losing Krzyzewski disciples to murderous, coke-selling mobsters.
It's like Duke's PR department said, "what could we do to make our basketball team even more mockable than usual." Short of having Steve Wojociechowski play The Godfather, this is about takes the cake. Oh, whoops:

Read all about it at The Dagger.

Thanks to Kevin for the link.

Seth Curry Already Learning The Blue Devil Way

2009-10-17T12:36:00.000-04:00

With a straight-armed clear out an hour into his first practice at Duke, Seth Curry looks like he's been playing for Mike Krzyzewski for years. It must be impossible for refs to call a Duke scrimmage. How can they possibly be expected to favor both the blue and white teams on, say, a charge/block call?

You Know This Is My Crazy Time of Year!

2009-10-15T00:09:00.007-04:00

Update x2: Because I spend more time writing for Yahoo! these days than I do over here, I've included links to my five most recent Yahoo! posts in the right-hand column. Below that are some of my most recent Tweets.

Update: Just like the old days, you can get to this site by either going to http://www.chrischase.com OR http://www.chazsports.blogspot.com
As many of you discovered a few months ago, playerhatersball.com isn't working anymore. It's a long story but, basically, I had automatic renewal on my account but I lost my debit card, switched numbers and the automatic renewal didn't go through. (This also explained why I got a call from my car insurance agent in July asking why I hadn't paid my bill in three months.) At some point somebody saw that the name was back up for sale and purchased it. I was unable to buy it back even though Google's contract says that I had 90 days from expiration to buy back the domain. A few weeks later I got an email asking if I wanted to purchase the domain for $100, to which I promptly replied with a request as to what they could do with their domain name (namely, to shove it somewhere). I'm not sure why www.playerhatersball.com still goes to a frozen snapshot of this blog in May, however. Weird stuff.
Anyway, that's what's going on.

I'll be doing some work to PHB over the next 24 hours, so if things look weird and you see a post loading that makes you wonder whether it's actually May or not, don't sweat it.

A Semi-FAIL for Washington Post Headline Writers

2009-10-13T16:03:00.001-04:00

My sister said she kept cringing when she saw the headline to Tracee Hamilton's column about the Redskins woes in this morning's Washington Post. (Needless to say, I couldn't wait to get home to see what it was.) The head reads: "Another Set of Black Eyes". My reaction was more of a slight wince.
The headline is an example of one of those things that isn't at all racist, but certainly could be construed that way because of the following three facts:
Fact: Last week the Redskins hired Sherm Lewis as an offensive consultant.
Fact: When asked what Lewis would do, Vinny Cerrato said he'd provide "another set of eyes."
Fact: Lewis is black.
For those reasons, this is a bad headline. The "another set of eyes" comment, now infamous in Washington, is completely attached to Lewis. My friends and I made some variant of a joke about "another set of eyes" about a dozen times during the game. (Examples: After the idiotic Zorn challenge: "Maybe the other set of eyes saw a different replay.") Because of this, the headline calls to mind Lewis. The part about the "black eyes", while obviously referring to the Redskins being beat up, doesn't work as well in that context. It's not stupid or malicious or insensitive or anything like that, it's just not good.
Next possible oblivious headline: "Daniel Snyder short on victories". Or, perhaps on top of a story about how Vinny Cerrato caters to every whim of his owner: "Cerrato bends over backward for Snyder".
Or, if they hire Ricky Williams to ever be a coach: "Another set of red eyes".
Maybe Stuart Scott comes to town to look over things: "Another eye".

Awful Panthers Beat More Awful Redskins; Time To Fire Zorn? (Yes)

2009-10-11T22:58:00.000-04:00

Two awful football teams met today in Charlotte and the one that was slightly less-awful pulled out the victory. Thank goodness a stomach bug prevented me from making the drive down to North Carolina for the game. Some thoughts:

* There's no reason to keep Jim Zorn around. Everyone knows he's going to get fired, nobody wants him around and he's continually proven himself to be a bad head football coach. His three worst moves today:

3) Challenging the punt return fumble. Zorn didn't know the rule about how players can get blocked into a guy calling for a fair catch as long as he is engaged with a member of the kick team. So when referee Walt Coleman made his ruling, Zorn panicked and thought he needed to do something -- ANYTHING. So he challenged a separate part of the play -- the ball hitting Byron Westbrook -- even though it was obvious that it did. The timeout he lost wouldn't have come in handy at all later in the game, particularly since the team blew through the other two early in the half.

2) Going for it on 4th and 3 from midfield in the fourth quarter. Give credit to Zorn for this, he's awesome at giving other teams momentum. In some cases, going for 4th and 3 in that situation wouldn't have been terrible, the same way going for 4th and goal in the Lions game would be OK in specific situations. But with the Panthers offense unable to move the ball and the team down eight and verging on grabbing all the momentum in the game, this wasn't one of them.

1) The play call on 4th and 3. Where had I seen that quick slant to the left side of the field? Oh, right, from the other 500 times the Redskins ran it yesterday. I know the offensive line was struggling to protect Campbell (alright, that's an understatement), but running a one-option pass on 4th down is the height of stupidity. Drop Campbell back. Give him the option of throwing to Santana or Cooley (yes, he played today, despite his zero catches) or Kelly/Malcom/~~Fred Davis~~. No one-off junk.

* Fred Davis is everything that's wrong with the Washington Redskins.

* It's not D'Anthony Baptiste's fault he's D'Anthony Baptiste. It's Dinny's fault for not having any o-line depth and forcing D'Anthony Baptiste into the lineup.

* There are only a few cornerbacks who couldn't tackle Jake Delhomme in the open field. And they play in Division III. Way to go, DeAngelo Hall. At least you didn't try to tackle him by nudging him with your head, as you tried to do to the other DeAngelo today. Yeah, I know he picked off a ball and had a great return. He's a great athlete. But that pick was made because he was five yards off the receiver and said receiver had worse hands on that play than Carlos Rogers.

* Seriously, Fred Davis, leaping for the first down four yards behind the stripe? Who did you learn that from, Mike Sellers?

* Chris Cooley doing the Santana Shake after recovering Moss' fumble was the highlight of ~~the game~~ the season.

* Steinz says that Jay Glazer says that everyone says that Mike Shanahan will be the next coach of the Washington Redskins. At this point, I don't care who it is as long as it gets rid of Zorn and Cerrato. Here's what Glazer said:

"It doesn't matter if you talk to a head coach, a GM, a team president or team owner -- everybody in this league, it's unanimous, they all believe Mike Shanahan will be the next head coach of the Washington Redskins, and they think it'll happen during the season at one point. Certainly exacerbated by the fact that Daniel Snyder, after they lost to the Lions, flew out to Denver on his private jet, although he claims it wasn't to meet Shanahan. You know, the big problem here though, I talked to the league office about it this morning, they said that the only thing they could really do is hire Shanahan on an interim basis during the season because of the Rooney Rule."

First off, the Rooney Rule can be ridiculous. It has good intentions, but to prevent Daniel Snyder from acting on his self-destructive whims in the middle of the season is ridiculous. How would not allowing the Redskins to hire Shanahan to be the full-time coach tomorrow improve minority hiring rates?
For what it's worth, Pro Football Talk says Shanahan won't be the coach. And since it's PFT, "it" is worth "nothing".

Slightly Defending My Slight Defense of Daniel Snyder

2009-10-09T14:52:00.006-04:00

Over at Kissing Suzy Kolber, Unsilent Majority posted a thorough takedown of my late-night semi-defense of Daniel Snyder (which also doubled as a defense of his buddy Big Daddy Drew, whose post provided the fodder for my entry).
I said what I had to say last night, so I won't post a rebuttal to the rebuttal. If you dish it, as I do, you have to be able to take it too. And when you write a defense of Daniel Snyder (however faint the praise may have been), you have to know it's ripe for mocking.
I'll say that I think part of what I was saying was misconstrued, especially the line about Cerrato being a figurehead. Of course this just didn't dawn on me. What I was saying is that I'm realizing there's no reason to complain about Cerrato, as all Redskins fans do. He's not going anywhere and even if he does, nothing will change. The fact that he has a radio show on Friday? So what. It's better he do that than start getting ideas about which bingo games to raid for new advisors.
Most of the rest of the takedown is fair, is misguided. Unsilent mentioned my status when I wrote the post (fairly inebriated and at 2:30 a.m.), which was solid of him. He also emailed me to tell me he was writing the post and accepted my summarized claim that I hate Snyder, but at least he's no Bidwell. Again, much appreciated.
The only thing I'll take exception with is the selective quoting done by Unsilent in the KSK piece. Copying and pasting somebody's elses words and mocking them is as hackenyed as it gets. I would know, I've done it many times. I don't mind that part at all. But if you're going to pull my words for the express purpose of tearing them down, at least use all of them and not just the ones that further an agenda.
He feigns disgust at the folllowing lines:

"He no longer brings in massive free agent hauls. He likes stability in his front office. He didn't go for the splashy hire."

After each of those sentences he provides a differing example, which is fine. But then the next line of mine that he quotes is:

"But at least they showed signs of growth."

That's when he goes in for the kill and understandably so. Written in that order, those sentences provide much fodder for criticism. But that's not the way it was actually constructed. The next line I wrote after "the splashy hire" wasn't, "but at least they showed signs of growth" it was:

"Those are all things that people praised him for over the past two years. They all backfired in his face and proved to be poor decisions (they could use some o-line depth, the front office needed a shakeup and Jim Zorn was bland for a reason)."

Those words were conveniently omitted in the KSK post. Here's the way the original paragraph looked:

And why has Snyder learned nothing from his experiences? He no longer brings in massive free agent hauls. He likes stability in his front office. He didn't go for the splashy hire.
Those are all things that people praised him for over the past two years. They all backfired in his face and proved to be poor decisions (they could use some o-line depth, the front office needed a shakeup and Jim Zorn was bland for a reason). But at least they showed signs of growth.

Here's how it appeared on KSK:

And why has Snyder learned nothing from his experiences? He no longer brings in massive free agent hauls. He likes stability in his front office. He didn't go for the splashy hire.
But at least they showed signs of growth.

Big difference, no?
If you're going to bash someone, at least do it fairly. It's completely disingeneous to leave out the start of that paragraph, which sets up the exasperated "at least they showed signs of growth" line. I'm pointing out that the three "good" things I mention all failed miserably. Leaving out that sentence makes it seem like I believe that "stability in the front office" should be praised. Of course it shouldn't be. It's what I spend 75 percent of the text on this blog complaining about.
Look, I can't stand Daniel Snyder. I continually wonder how long I can root for a team he runs. But that doesn't mean the Redskins are the most helpless franchise in sports. Everyone used to wonder whether Steinbrenner would kill the Yankees, remember?
The post was written more in the defense of the Redskins as a whole. When an outsider rips the Redskins, I get defensive. It's OK if me or my friends or Unsilent or the Mottrams bash Snyder, because we have a vested interest in his success or failures. But if somebody else comes in and does so, I'm throwin' down.
I can call my friend an idiot. You can't. That's just the way it is.
My biggest feat is that Dan Snyder will one day turn me against the team I love. But at least I know he ultimately shares the same hopes for the team that I do. Sure, he also cares about making money (and flaunts this endeavor too brazenly) and presides over the worst stadium in football and alienates fans and reporters, but at least he wants to win. It's because he does that I still harbor a little bit of hope that one day he'll come around.

Dan Snyder's Bad, But He's Not This Bad

2009-10-09T02:05:00.000-04:00

There was a post on Deadspin today about the hopelessness of the Redskins that I was sent this five times because people thought I'd enjoy a ranty, crass summation of the 'Skins problems. Briefly, the post says that the Redskins are the most hopeless franchise in the world because Dan Snyder is incompetant and shows a complete lack of self-awarness. I'll agree with the first part and vigorously contend with the second. I think Snyder knows exactly what people think of him, which is why he doesn't do many interviews, hates the Washington Post and travels with multiple bodyguards to games.
The analogy of Snyder to an out-of-touch fantasy owner was solid, and parts of the piece were spot-on and amusing, but there's one huge thing missing from the rant: Most of Snyder's delusion is fed by the very fans and media who are supposedly telling him he sucks.
Every March most people affirm Snyder's moves by getting excited about the team because of the free agent signings or draft pick the Skins get. Haynesworth: People loved. Drafting Laron Landry: people loved. Dabbling with Mark Sanchez: You're telling me the fools who have been booing all season wouldn't rather have Manchez at the helm? Picking "can't miss" receivers in the second round: some people loved. Hell, most liked the Adam Archuleta signing. In 2000, a new phrase was coined because EVERYONE loved Snyder getting Deion and Bruce Smith and Marc Carrier and Jeff George. The 'Skins were called "offseason champs". Is that a badge of honor? No, but it's a sign the team is a lot less hopeless than this piece suggets. It's a sign that, at some points, people think the Redskins are doing OK.
And why has Snyder learned nothing from his experiences? He no longer brings in massive free agent hauls. He likes stability in his front office. He didn't go for the splashy hire.
Those are all things that people praised him for over the past two years. They all backfired in his face and proved to be poor decisions (they could use some o-line depth, the front office needed a shakeup and Jim Zorn was bland for a reason). But at least they showed signs of growth.
This isn't a defense of Snyder (and forget about Cerrato, I'm beginning to think he has no actual power and is just a puppet) but a reminder that there are things to work with, namely that the owner cares about the team and, in theory, will continue to work for a Super Bowl win. The Raiders, Clippers and Orioles (in addition to not being the second most valuable franchise in North American sports) don't have such dreams.

For Some Reason, Daniel Snyder Hires Sherm Lewis

2009-10-07T22:20:00.000-04:00

How do you fix an offense that's being run by a guy who has never called plays in the NFL? By hiring another guy who has never called plays in the NFL, of course!
Because Dan Snyder seems to think he cant fire Jim Zorn in the middle of the season (even though we all know there's no shot of Zorn returning to Washington next season), he did the next best thing: Neutering his head coach by bringing in an "offensive consultant" and giving himself an offensive mind to call plays should he decide to fire his coach before January. It's pretty much the equivalent of giving Zorn two weeks notice.
The offensive consultant is Sherm Lewis, who was playing bingo and volunteering for Meals on Wheels at this time last week (seriously). You may remember Mr. Lewis from his stint as offensive coordinator of the Green Bay Packers, where he didn't have any real responsibilities since Mike Holmgren was calling the plays. (It's sort of like being the defensive coordinator for the Patriots. Or, more appropriately, a quarterbacks coach for the Seattle Seahawks.)
What are Lewis' reponsibilities? Nobody sees to know. Why is he coming in? Nobody seems to know that either. Lewis won't call plays in Washing, but will instead "advise" Zorn during the week, even though Zorn didn't ask for such help nor get consulted about the hire.
This isn't the beginning of the end for Zorn -- that was the day he was hired. But this is another chapter in his precipitous decline. Now Snyder can fire Zorn, promote Greg Blache and have another guy who's never called plays running his offense.

We're Talking About the Same Matthew Stafford Who Overthrew Half His Receivers, Right?

2009-09-29T22:58:00.000-04:00

Peter King is among the many who have been effusive in their praise for Lions rookie QB and No. 1 draft pick Matthew Stafford after the team's win over the Redskins on Sunday. From today's MMQB: Tuesday Edition:

Schwartz was happy enough about the Lions' first win in 21 months. But also he was happy with his quarterback, and he wanted to be sure he used this opportunity for a teaching moment, to reinforce to Stafford why the Lions drafted him in the first place -- for his arm, for his confidence, for his moxie.

All of those things may be true, and the latter two were especially evident on Sunday, particularly his confidence, or cockiness -- Stafford is, how the French say, a huge douche, with his tongue-wagging, fist-pumping and smirking. But my dislike of Stafford has nothing to do with the following statement: He didn't play very well against the Redskins.

This isn't to say that Stafford won't be a great quarterback in this league. I have no idea. I do know that, on Sunday, he overthrew and underthrew countless open receivers and got bailed out on a (legitimate) pass interference call that eventually led to the winning touchdown. The only reason the Redskins had a chance to come back late in the game is because Stafford was so erratic with his throws.

Again, this isn't a criticism of Stafford. He's playing in his third NFL game with a bad team and questionable offensive line. But let's not crown him the next Matt Ryan simply because the Redskins did everything wrong.

Wake's 2010 Recruiting Class May Make House Party 2 Look Like House Party 1

2009-09-28T20:27:00.000-04:00

Dino Gaudio inked another top recruit last week, getting a verbal commitment from four-star center Carson Desrosiers from Lawrence, MA. The 6-10 senior joins other four-star recruits Travis McKie (SF), Melvin Tabb (PF) and J.T. Terrell (SG) and Rivals three-star point guard Tony Chenault.
It seems that Gaudio is a true disciple of Skip Prosser: great recruiter, good practice coach, so-so in-game strategist.
Desrosiers is rated No. 67 in the county by Rivals. McKie is No. 50, Terrell is No. 78 and Tabb is No. 85.
Wake's 2010 class was already considered to be top 10 before Derosiers committed, but that ranking may creep even higher now. The Deacs had hoped to get another four-star forward in Griffin McKenzie, but he followed Pat Kelsey (who had recruited the big man to Wake) to his new school, Xavier.
On the horizon, Gaudio has his sights set on five-star junior guard Quincy Miller.

Remember The Last Time Redskins Sources Had a Hunch About Coaching Situation?

2009-09-28T07:57:00.001-04:00

I'm not saying Zorn will get fired, but I'd caution everyone to remember the last time "high-ranking sources" within the organization were feeding information to the press.
And when I was younger and the Redskins were better, I'd often have dreams about the game the night before and I had a great track record of predicting victories. (I still remember my dream involving Brent Musberger and a CBS game break to update the 1991 win in the NFC Championship.) I bring this up because I had a dream last night that Zorn was stripped of his play-calling duties today and replaced with somebody who wasn't Bill Arnsparger, but might as well have been. Keep in mind, Bill Arnsparger is 82 years old. I need to get better dreams.

Sadly, This Won't Be Jim Zorn's Final Play

2009-09-27T20:29:00.002-04:00

He does know that you're allowed to throw into the endzone, right? And not just crappy fades to Kelly Malcolm (as Brian Billick calls him). This was, after all, just three yards longer than Brett Favre's game-winner.

Peter King Says Zorn 'Not on Hot Seat'

2009-09-27T19:29:00.002-04:00

Yeah, and Rodney Harrison is good on television.
King says he talked to "high-level" sources within the Redskins that say Zorn isn't on the hot seat, which is patently absurd because of course he's on the hot seat. His firing may not be imminent, but he's most certainly on the hot seat.
The reasoning given is that Zorn wears so many hats (head coach, quarterbacks coach, offensive coordinator, play-caller) that firing him would make it impossible for the team to play a game. So the team isn't going to fire him for the exact reason they should fire him? Why not strip him of his play-calling duties, then? Or something. Leaving it as is because changing it would be too difficult is not a valid excuse.
But, of course, it all comes back to Dan Snyder, who has made this football team not fun to watch. He's killing the Redskins and has been for years. As I wrote in the last post, it's up to fans to make him realize it.

It's Time To Fire Jim Zorn ... It's BEEN Time To Fire Vinny Cerrato

2009-09-27T18:24:00.001-04:00

Because the loss to the Lions and job status of Jim Zorn is national news, I was able to ~~vent~~ write about the Redskins on Shutdown Corner this afternoon. My take: Zorn's gotta go. Now. He's lost the team and there's little chance of coming back from that. Tom Coughlin did it, but he had a track record. Jim Zorn once worked with Matt Hasselbeck. It's a big difference.
But the problem isn't just with Zorn, it's institutional. The problem is Dan Snyder and Vinny Cerrato and, as John Riggins Tweeted this afternoon, that's not getting fixed anytime soon. The only way to solve this mess is for fans to stop going to the games. Unfortunately, there are so many idiots out there who blindly support the Redskins and will pay money to kicked in the teeth by Snyder, so it's hard to see that happening.
Regardless of whether it happens today or tomorrow or next month or at the end of the year, there will be a new coach in Washington next season. The only way that doesn't happen is if the team somehow makes the playoffs and I don't see that happening. I said 5-11 to start the year and 5-11 is what I'm sticking with. If that happens, then who comes in?
I don't like coaches who insist on becoming general managers as I think it spreads a guy too thin and is a complete conflict of interest. But I'm starting to see that getting somebody like that (and Cowher is who I'm thinking of) may be the only way to get rid of Cerrato. So, for the time being, that's what I'm hoping.
Jim Zorn isn't the problem, Vinny Cerrato and Dan Snyder are the problem. Jim Zorn is just a problem. Hopefully it's a problem that won't be around tomorrow.

The Jim Zorn-Jason Campbell Video

2009-09-24T13:49:00.001-04:00

NFL Films recorded the communication between Jim Zorn and Jason Campbell on Sunday and it's revealing in its lack of revealingness. Zorn talks too much (no wonder plays don't get in on time), thinks every play is as good as 65 toss power trap, harps on failed plays and speaks in the first person too much for a guy simply calling the plays. ("I'm going to call a running play", "I'm going to get Santana involved").
As for Campbell, he sounds like a guy who isn't sure whether he can be a leader or not.

Week 2 Recap: Redskins Survive Rams, 9-7

2009-09-20T21:05:00.000-04:00

The Redskins don't win games as much as they survive them. Any other team would be happy to see the Lions approaching on the schedule. After that performance today, the 'Skins should be worried as hell.

Part of me sort of hoped that the Redskins would lose today just so Jim Zorn would have been fired tomorrow. Let's review his three most egregious errors:

1) Wanting to call timeout before a 4th and 1 play, despite there still being 30 seconds on the play clock. He had to be talked out of it by Danny Smith, which marked the first time ever that Danny Smith's presence has benefited the Washington Redskins.
2) Calling a halfback option play on 3rd and goal from the five yard line. And you wonder why Jason Campbell looks so gun shy all the time? Because nobody in this organization has any confidence in him.

3) Going for it on 4th and one from the four. Just because it worked doesn't mean it was the right decision. The Redskins seem to forget that every other team's kicker doesn't suck, so they think that a 55-yarder is out of the realm of possibility just because Suisham can't hit 'em in practice. When you're up by two, you have to force a team to get a touchdown to win.

* Other than the first pass that should have gone for a touchdown, Jason Campbell looked solid today. Now if his coach would just call plays that allowed him to throw into the endzone ...

* Ladell Betts has to stay in bounds late in the game. He tapped his chest in a "my bad" fashion after, meaning that he knew he made a mistake. For some reason, that makes it worse.

* Randy Thomas is out for the year with a torn tricep. Let's hope the offensive line depth that Vinny Cerrato drafted with the first three picks of the '08 draft can step up and fill the void.

* How wide open was Chris Cooley all game? And, more importantly, how did the awfulness of the Rams defense lead to just nine points?

* The roughing the passer call on Brian Orakpo was atrocious. I'm always quick to criticize players for picking up penalties like this because 90 percent of them are stupid and avoidable (even if they're often ticky-tack). But in this case, Orakpo was behind the play, couldn't see Bulger throw because the blocker's arms were in the air and barely touched him when he did hit him. That didn't stop the flag, which negated a rare Redskins fumble recovery. And to make it worse, the ref called the penalty on No. 90 (Jeremy Jarmon), who wasn't even on the field at the time.

* DeAngelo Hall thought he was playing in a two-hand touch game today, as he tried to tackle Laurent Robinson on one play with a light shove. It was his worst play of the season, which is saying a lot considering how terrible he has been. But, again, it's not like there were any signs Hall wouldn't perform up to a big contract.

* At some point LaRon Landry is going to have to be benched. The big Steven Jackson run was 100 percent on Landry, who overran his duty as the safety valve and made a seven-yard gain into a 58-yard one. I've been saying it for two years, but dude is completely worthless. He's a liability every time he steps on the field.

* Fans booing the team after the game today are idiots. Just yell at ~~Danny Smith~~ Jim Zorn during the game like a normal person.

Week One Recap: Same Old, Same Old For Redskins in 23-17 loss

2009-09-13T22:49:00.000-04:00

The good news is that the Redskins are already in mid-season form.

* Jason Campbell showed the same weakness he always has: A lack of feel for the game. Like I've written many times in the past, it's not that I think JC is dumb, but I fear he doesn't have the instincts to become a great quarterback. The play on which his fumbled was a perfect example. Chris Samuels did a fine job on the play but Campbell didn't step in the the huge pocket that was created. That, plus the audible into a third down run that went for a five yard loss, were enough to make me question my status as a JC guy. I'm still on his side, but not for much longer.

* Danny Smith! His special teams ran a masterful fake field goal so I won't mention the poorly executed onsides kick (which wasn't Suisham's fault -- the kick itself was pretty good) the penalty on DeAngelo Hall or Byron Westbrook not knowing how to cover a punt downfield.

* I'm too tired to look up the exact numbers, but the Giants had the ball deep in Redskins territory late in the game and were assessed a holding penalty on a first down play that went for a four-yard loss. The 'Skins chose to accept the penalty to make it 1st and 20 instead of 2nd and 14. The next play went for five yards, making it 2nd and 15. Basically, the Redskins gave up a valuable 40 seconds (they had blown two timeouts -- and by "they" I mean "Jason Campbell" for one yard. This isn't one of those "in retrospect" decisions either. You've gotta decline the penalty there. Terrible.

* DeAngelo Hall. Whoo, that wasn't too good. It was surprising too. It's not like DeAngelo has ever under-performed after signing a big contract. (And I don't know whether his candor in admitting his crappy play is refreshing or ridiculous.)

* Good to see others are hopping on the "Laron Landry is worthless" bandwagon. (Note: Steinberg didn't actually say he was worthless, but I'll let the pictures he displayed speak for themselves.) My favorite safety was at his best today, blowing coverages, getting assessed personal fouls and missing tackles. The highlight was the giant whiff he had while diving high on Chase Blackburn's shoulder. I guess LaRon has been taking lessons from watching Antwaan Randle El catch the ball.

* And now the good: Antwaan in the slot, Hunter Smith pinning (but not Hunter Smith booming) and the Chris's, Cooley and Samuels.

Woe Is Me, I Can't Afford My $15,000 Redskins Seats!re

2009-09-02T22:55:00.004-04:00

Boo-hoo. You can't afford your tickets that cost half of what a minimum wage earner makes in a year? Tickets that -- HELLO -- you signed a contract for? What do you want, a government bailout?
I think the Redskins should be trying to find ways to work things out with ticket holders who can't pay. But if they can't, there's nothing wrong with getting the money that is owed to them.
Don't buy things you can't afford. And certainly don't sign 10-year contracts if that's the case.
If you really want to go to games, buy single tickets on the secondary market. I hear there are plenty of them out there, particularly in Pittsburgh.

I'm defending Dan Snyder on Ticketgate. Don't get used to it.

2009-09-02T22:27:00.005-04:00

I simplified things a lot in a post tonight for Shutdown Corner about the Redskins ticket controversy. There were definitely some interesting points raised by the hit-piece (or close to it) in today's Washington Post, but pardon me if I'm not outraged.
Is it that surprising that the team is unloading tickets to brokers in order to get rid of the club level seats? Why are people getting mad at this. How do you think the team affords Albert Haynesworth? Because they're selling $90 seats to a dude from Frederick? (I just went back and added that point to the Shutdown post. I didn't get as riled up there as I am now.)
Nobody wants to go to FedEx Field because it's a piece of shit stadium that's a pain in the ass to get to. People can't unload their tickets fast enough for primetime games, lest they sit in traffic for two hours on the way and an hour on the way home.
If Steelers fans want to buy tickets, why should 'Skins fans be mad? Nobody said we were prevented from getting tickets on the secondary market. So a Pitt fan wants to pay more. That's somehow Dan Snyder's fault?

Marko Mitchell Is About To See His Improvement Halted

2009-08-31T12:17:00.003-04:00

Good news from Redskins Insider's Jason Reid: Wide receiver Marko Mitchell is a "lock" to make the Redskins 53-man roster. But there's a downside. A big one:

The rookie opened eyes in training camp and has been the star of the preseason. Mitchell still needs a lot of work on special teams, and coach Danny Smith will tutor him throughout the regular season.

So close, Marko. SO close. After a few weeks tutoring by Danny Smith, Mitchell will be running sideways on punt coverage, think that grabbing onto an opponent's jersey is an acceptable way to block and will began shanking all receptions.

My Busy Week

2009-08-27T21:55:00.003-04:00

I won't bore you with details of my busy week but, rest assured, I'm still around. Once things calm down this weekend I'll be back with some thoughts on Wake Forest's basketball schedule and my defense of Jason Campbell after his inevitable poor showing tomorrow night.

Boswell on the Redskins, Campbell

2009-08-23T16:53:00.004-04:00

Gold today from Thomas Boswell:

By the time most of the starting players for both teams left the wet field early in the second quarter, Washington trailed only 7-3, far less ugly than last week's 23-0 loss to Baltimore in the exhibition opener.

True, Jason Campbell was ineffective, completing only 1 of 7 passes for 10 yards. Jay Cutler would surely have completed 8 of 7.

As I wrote of Campbell last night on Twitter, "Either preseason matters or it doesn't. And since it doesn't, I couldn't care less about Jason Campbell's struggles."
People want to have it both ways. They like to convince themselves that preseason doesn't matter one iota, but then when a player/team looks good/bad in these games, people instantly jump on or off the bandwagon accordingly. To most, preseason doesn't matter unless it fits neatly with preconceived notions. So if you think Jason Campbell shouldn't be the starter, you jump on his case at the first underthrown ball. But I thought the preseason was meaningless?
It is, and that's why there's nothing to worry about concerning the Redskins as far as on-field play is concerned. Unless we're talking about Danny Smith's special teams. You may say I sound like a broken record when talking about Smith, but I'm pretty sure no broken record keeps skipping for five years.
Oh, and that's the last time I'll be Tweeting during a Redskins games. Some excerpts:

-- My prediction for the year: 4-12. It seems like a ridiculous prediction looking at the schedule, but I've a feeling this is going to be a disaster of a season.

-- Timeout on 4th and goal in first quarter. At least Jim Zorn is in midseason form.

-- Shockingly, Rock Cartwright doesn't know the rules on when a kick becomes a touchback.

-- Two 15-yard penalties on Danny Smith's special teams unit tonight. Firing on all cylinders!

Much as I realized during the first Shutdown Corner MNF Live Blog involving the Redskins, me having an outlet to instantaneously rant about Danny Smith and Laron Landry is quite dangerous, and it's probably best for everyone if I just close my laptop and keep those thoughts to the people sitting within earshot (or via text).

Video: Usain Bolt's 200m World Record

2009-08-20T15:23:00.003-04:00

This may not be up long (and I'll try to embed the UniveralSports.com feed when it comes up), but you need to watch video of Usain Bolt's 200m at the world championships. Unbelievable.
At Fourth-Place Medal, I say it's the most impressive feat of his already-legendary career. But not as impressive as the t-shirt he wore before the race.

Read As I Get Mocked By Fantasy Football Experts

2009-08-18T20:24:00.003-04:00

On Thursday I took part in the Yahoo! Sports Friends and Family League fantasy football draft. Basically, it's a bunch of guys who are considered fantasy football experts and me. My whole strategy was not to embarrass myself and I acquitted myself quite well ... for the first three rounds. And then I picked LenDale White (I had my reasons, I swear).
After the draft, the league's commissioner, Brandon Funston, emailed some draft-specific questions to each member of the league. At the end, everyone had to pick a "reach of the draft". My pick of the Patron-free Mr. White was the most popular choice.
Read all about it, including my half-hearted defense.

Pigs Fly: Nats Sign Strasburg to Record Deal

2009-08-18T00:05:00.000-04:00

The Washington Nationals had to sign Stephen Strasburg. He may not end up be a great pitcher (history suggests he won't) and they may have paid too much (the odds are that they did). But in order to keep face and give the appearance that they intend to field a major league organization that plans on contending in the National League East, a deal had to be made.
I'd have been conflicted if Strasburg didn't sign. One side of me would have blamed the cheap-ass Lerners for not outlaying the money the team needs to succeed. Another side of me would have been upset with Boras and Strasburg for being too greedy and overplaying their hand (which wasn't as good as they thought it was).
Thankfully, it didn't come to that. The money paid to Strasburg is fair. I mean, yeah, $15 million is a lot for somebody who couldn't get out guys from UVA in the College World Series, but it's not that egregious a sum. I mean, Dmitri Young is getting $10 million over two years. This is an accpetable risk to take. Plus, it's not coming out of my pocket, so I'm merely happy that he'll be on board and can give something to Nats fans that we haven't had since that magical first season: Hope.
Do I expect Strasburg to became Roger Clemens? No. I'd like it, but I'd take Derek Lowe, a guy who you can set in the rotation and keep there for a decade. If he's a star, excellent. But as long as he's not Brien Taylor, I don't care.
I'm just happy the Nats did something right for once. Maybe there's hope for them yet.

More on Michael Vick to the Eagles

2009-08-13T23:05:00.004-04:00

Five lines that didn't make the cut in my Shutdown Corner post about Michael Vick signing with the Eagles:

1) "Michael Vick will be going from one prison to another."
2) "Andy Reid welcomes another criminal to the family."
3) "Donovan McNabb is one of the most jealous men in the NFL. He's always looking over his shoulder and thinks somebody is out to get him. This isn't going to end well."
4) "Does this mean there will be a dog-flavored Chunky Soup?"
5) "ESPN will fawn over this signing because they are in love with Donovan McNabb and think that this will be a quarterback version of Camelot." (That one is already coming true.)

And since when are the Philadelphia Eagles a stable organization? Wasn't it just 10 months ago everyone was trying to run Donovan McNabb out of town? Aren't there always questions about whether he'll be back or not? Stable? That's laughable, man!

Jason Campbell on the Cover of Sports Illustrated

2009-08-04T14:04:00.003-04:00

There will be no jokes about SI cover jinxes here, because I don't believe in that stuff. (He says as he knocks on wood, walks backwards three times under a ladder and digs out that old crystal from the west shores of Madagascar that a hippie once gave to him.)

(Thanks, @unsilent)

When it comes to proctology, coffee and football, Peter knows best

2009-08-02T15:19:00.004-04:00

Say what you will about Peter King, but his write-up of the Redskins is very solid in its analysis of the team. For a guy who needs to know a lot about 32 NFL teams, that's fairly impressive.

Peter King: Redskins postcard

Testing a YouTube Hack, Don't Mind Me

2009-07-30T11:28:00.001-04:00

Brett Favre to Stay Retired

2009-07-28T17:29:00.001-04:00

Brett Favre will stay retired and not seek a comeback with the Minnesota Vikings, thus begging the question: What will he do in 2010?!

Vick-to-Redskins Rumors Are Picking Up Steam

2009-07-28T09:17:00.003-04:00

So says Mr. Steinberg at the DC Sports Bog. Granted, the PFT rumor is fluff as usual, but if it is true that Vick's reps were in Ashburn yesterday (as Chris Cooley's brother Tweeted) then Snyder already has had mind made up. Because once Snyder decides something, he can never be convinced not to do it. If Danny Boy believes that Vick can change, Vick could come into a meeting with a gun tucked into his waistband and a bag of Kibbles N' Bits at his side and it wouldn't matter.

In Case You Ever Had Any Doubt About ESPN's Priorities

2009-07-25T16:38:00.003-04:00

During the week, ESPN ignored the story about the civil suit against Ben Roethlisberger. Today, this was the lead story on the network's Web site:

I wonder on which channel the WNBA All-Star game is being broadcast? Hmm....

Buerhle's Perfect Game First In 87 Years

2009-07-23T23:56:00.001-04:00

Steroids ruined a lot when it comes to baseball, but it can't ruin stuff like this: Mark Buehrle's perfect game today was the first thrown by a Chicago White Sox pitcher since 1922. Try finding another sport that can make a boast like that.

Godell Strikes Again: NFL Draft Moves to Thursday Night

2009-07-23T17:04:00.003-04:00

Roger Goodell's mantra seems to be, "if it ain't broke, fix it anyway." How else to explain the patently absurd decision to move the first round of the NFL draft to a Thursday night?
Here's a little secret about the NFL draft: It's not too interesting. Oh, I enjoy watching it on a Saturday afternoon and seeing how the Redskins can shoot themselves in the foot, but it's not something you budget your day around. Starting it at noon on a Saturday was perfect because you could wake up, plop in front of the TV and watch for a few hours before going out for the evening.
Then Goodell moved it to 3 p.m. for no apparent reason. Now, Thursday night, probably because it has the highest viewership. That worked really well for those games on NFL Network, right Rog?

Terrell Owens Calls Me a Hater

2009-07-21T10:26:00.006-04:00

Terrell Owens has a new cereal. As I'm wont to do in circumstances like this, I wrote a post on Shutdown Corner about it, with lines like, "is he positioned on the left side of the box because he refused to go over the middle?"
T.O. didn't appreciate the humor. The new Buffalo Bills receiver apparently read the post and posted his reaction to it on his Twitter account:

TerrellOwens81: oh how charming of @chaztopher!!! a 'hater' @ his best!! thank u!

So there you have it. T.O. is calling me a hater. (And he didn't even know about this site!) I'll be putting that on my business card, which I one day hope to give to T.O., only to see him drop it.

Watson at the British: The Most Painful Loss

2009-07-20T09:23:00.005-04:00

It was too painful to watch. When Tom Watson walked down the 17th fairway after pushing his tee shot deep into knee-high fescue at yesterday's British Open, I had to change the channel. I was literally unable to watch as the cameras trained in on Watson, who was resigned to his fate as having come so close to earning the greatest victory in the history of golf, but falling short in the end.
As it was happening, I found myself rooting so hard against Stewart Cink that I thought for a moment his body had been inhabited by J.J. Redick's. I wrote about this on Yahoo's Devil Ball Golf yesterday and, naturally, added to the ranks of commenters who think I'm some sort of provoker who likes getting a rise out of people. But I was serious. I was genuinely rooting against Cink. And now that I'm reading interviews with him and looking at pictures of himself and the Claret Jug on Twitter, I dislike him all the more.
It's not logical, and I know that. But I don't care about Stewart Cink winning the British Open. I cared about Tom Watson capping one of the greatest stories in sports histories.
Great games and players? Those will always happen. It's in the percentages. We're always going to have great duels because, give us enough games, and there will be some memorable ones. But something like this, a 59-year old man with one putt to win a major -- that's once-in-two-lifetime stuff.
Read Joe Posnanski's column from today's Kansas City Star. As always, he says it best.

That's What She Said

2009-07-14T11:19:00.004-04:00

From an Associated Press article about the home run derby. (Found by Eugene, of the PYDK podcast.)

With three outs remaining in the final round, Fielder smacked a drive onto the grassy hill in center field to clinch the crown. He posed for a moment with his bat held high, then embraced Brewers teammate Ryan Braun near home plate.
Fielder started out using a bat that belonged to injured Milwaukee teammate Rickie Weeks, then switched to Braun's stick.

"It was a little longer," Fielder said. "Once I grabbed his bat, it felt pretty good."

Just Because the Lerners are Awful, Doesn't Mean They Were Wrong To Fire Acta

2009-07-13T19:12:00.005-04:00

All you need to know about the Lerner family is that none of them bothered to show up today to the press conference about the firing of manager Manny Acta. It was bad enough when the Lerners were just cheap. Now they're cowards too.
Not that any of that means the Lerners (or Stan Kasten) made the wrong decision in firing Manny Acta. It's not Manny's fault the bullpen is so bad or that Austin Kearns exists, but it is his fault when outfielders miss cut-off men, sacrifice bunts turn into double plays and lefties stay in against righties who crush them. No great baseball manager was going to make the Nats a playoff team, but no good one would be managing a team that makes as many mental mistakes as Acta's team does. And Major League manager should ever allow a player to dog it like Cristian Guzman has in recent weeks.
It's always been interesting to see how much slack Acta got from DC baseball fans (what few of us there are) given that he had no real track record to speak of, is less-than-stoic in the dugout and never showed much of a personality in interviews or anywhere else. I guess it's because the Jim Bowden and the Lerners have been (accurately) cast in such a villianous light that mediocre ol' Manny became the beacon of hope. Because he wasn't evil, he was good. Unfortunately, nice guys often finish last.

Michael Phelps breaks WR in 100m butterfly

2009-07-09T22:58:00.001-04:00

I don't Spanish very well (you can look at my freshman year transcripts for that) but I can understand it well enough to know that this might be the crappiest call of a sporting event this side of Tony Sirgausa. I'm pretty sure the announcers are talking about reaction times for the entire first 50.
Anyway, Michael Phelps looked great in this 100. I'll touch on this more at Fourth-Place Medal tomorrow, but could it be that Phelps' new training has made him dominant in the sprints but vulnerable in the longer distances that used to define him?

Happy 4th of July

2009-07-04T14:10:00.004-04:00

I'm just going to come out and say it: Marvin Gaye's rendition of the National Anthem from the 1983 NBA All-Star game is more overrated than Tony Romo. Oh, Marvin sings the hell out of it and looks as cool as can be whilst singing the hell out of it, but listen to that beat. It sounds like it was created by a third grader on a Casio keyboard. It's soulful, sure, but is that a good thing when referring to the Star Spangled Banner?
Anyway, on the Fourth of July, here's my favorite sports version ever:

Also, today marks the debut of Yahoo! Sports' new Cycling Experts Blog. The UK's Martin Rogers, who you may have read on soccer and tennis coverage, will be the expert and I'll be the guy pretending to be. My first post: Lance Armstrong returns on a dizzying new bike.

RIP, Michael

2009-06-25T17:42:00.001-04:00

I never cared about all the other stuff, I just thought Smooth Criminal was an awesome song.

Archive Hunting

2009-06-25T13:17:00.002-04:00

Was combing through the archives today looking for something about Randy Foye when I saw this headline, from July 13, 2007, the day Al-Farouq Aminu, Tony Woods and Ty Walker committed to play basketball at Wake Forest for the late Skip Prosser. Looks like my pessimism was too optimistic.

This Will Make The Inevitable 2009 Second Round Upset Loss All The More Painful

The Bullets Trade: I Feel Like I'm Taking Crazy Pills!

2009-06-24T22:29:00.004-04:00

Like Mugatu in Zoolander, I feel like I'm taking crazy pills any time I hear somebody talk about the Bullets-Timberwolves trade. People love it and, for the life of me, I can't understand why.

I've heard the reasons for support. We'll take them point-by-point:
1) It clears away three bad contracts -- There are bad contracts (Etan Thomas, 6 yrs/$36 million) and then there are bad contracts (Gilbert Arenas 6 yrs/$111 million). Getting rid of Thomas and Songailia's admittedly bad deals is like using a dixie cup to stop the flooding in a rowboat.
2) Randy Foye and Mike Miller give the team the best chance to win now -- I loved Randy Foye when he was at Villanova. And Mike Miller was pretty good when he was in his prime back in the 1980s. But Foye is a guard coming to a team with too many and Mike Miller is a scorer coming to a team that has Gilbert Arenas. Neither play much of any defense and isn't that this team's biggest problem?
3) The fifth-pick wasn't important because this draft sucks and the team needs to win now -- OK, first of all, it's never a good sign when everyone thinks that the window to win is closing and your star player (who can't stay healthy) still has five years and $100 million left on his contract.
Second of all, see point No. 2
Finally, I hate this draft more than you do (because I think Blake Griffin is too small to dominate in the NBA). If the Bullets had picked James Harden I might have watched them less than I did last year (which would have been hard to do). Tyrone Hill sounds too much like Thomas Hill and we can't have crying on the bench. And Stephen Curry? I'm literally speechless that people are talking about him going in the top-five.
This is the first time in a long time I don't have a "non-top five player to watch". This is the only thing I'm ever good at predicting (former winners: Ben Gordon, Danny Granger, Josh Howard, Caron Butler, Paul Pierce and Marcus Williams -- OK, five out of six ain't bad), but I love nobody in this class. (Update: Wait, I forget about Ty Laweson. I love me some Ty Lawson. He's my horse in this race.)
That being said, unlike the NFL, there is virtually no risk in using NBA draft picks. If Haseem Thabeet slips to you and he's awful, that's just three years, $11 million out of your pocket. Why give up the possibility of getting someone good just because the probability is that they won't be? The risk doesn't outweigh the possible reward.

* Check out my debut on Yahoo!'s Soccer Experts Blog. First, the Chinese hated me. Now, American soccer fans. (I swear it's never my intention to rile people up when I write these things ... well, except for Duke fans.)

Happy Father's Day

2009-06-21T12:32:00.002-04:00

My dad doesn't like sports all that much, but because I do, he sat through countless Redskins, Capitals, Bullets and Terps games, a handful of golf tournaments and all of my swim meets, basketball games and soccer games (and, trust me, those must have been painful). Thanks, dad.
Read Joe Posnanski's excellent Father's Day column from today's Kansas City Star.

Idiots Play Dress Up At The Nats Game

2009-06-19T22:17:00.004-04:00

Tonight at the Nats-Blue Jays game, two doofuses dressed up like an umpire and mocked the home plate ump the entire night, mimicking calls, yelling "strike" and, presumptively, singing the national anthem. When a ball was hit out of play, they'd fake throw a ball back to the pitcher. If it wasn't so annoying it might have been mildly clever. But amusement soon turned to anger and by the 9th inning when the guys were yelling "steeeerike" so loudly that MASN cameras picked it up, Rob Dibble said he wanted to smack them. And this is why I've learned to stop worrying and love Dibs.

This Is Worse Than Buckner

2009-06-13T14:28:00.005-04:00

I can't say that I've ever seen a worse way to lose a baseball game than the Mets did last night. With 2 outs in the bottom of the ninth, Alex Rodriguez popped up to Luis Castillo. It should have been a rountine fly ball to cap an 8-7 victory for the Mets. Or not.
Take it away, Keyboard Cat:

The Bill Buckner play occurred with a lot more on the line, of course, but even if Buckner had made scooped up Mookie Wilson's ground ball, the game still would have gone to extras. On this one, Castillo's drop is the difference between a win and a loss.
The one replay I wanted to see of this was whether K-Rod did his stupid little victory celebration before Castillo dropped it. I'm also impressed that Teixiera was so far around the base path. I was trying to figure out how many other major leaguers would have been in a position to score. Manny probably wouldn't have even been on second yet.
This video, from Awful Announcing, plays the call from both the Yankees and Mets TV and radio crews. It's remarkable how bad both radio calls are:

And then there's this back-page headline of today's New York Post, which I accurately called late last night:

Sutcliffe's Been Drinking Again ...

2009-06-10T19:22:00.004-04:00

Rick Sutcliffe was a great baseball player during his days with the Cubs and Orioles. It wasn't until he got into the broadcast booth that he became a legend.
Three years ago, a very-inebriated Sutcliffe joined San Diego Padres announcer Matt Vasgersian in the booth and proceeded to slur his way through a monologue that touched on Bill Murray, the best cities in which to play golf, solving that thing in Africa and, of course, George Clooney. (You can watch the video here. I penned an ode to Sutcliffe a year later.)
The Clooney line is the obvious highlight, as Sutcliffe, without any provocation whatsoever (they were talking about his daughter going to Harvard) randomly blurted out "George Clooney!", to which a bewildered Matt Vasgerian responded, "George CLOOney?" In the frequent cases in which I'm confused/have no answer, I often mimic Vasgerian's response, no matter the situation. (Example: Lady friend: Chris, where do you see this going? Me: George Clooney??)
As you can tell, Sutcliffe is the tops in my book. And now, he's moving up another notch, for we have a sequel to The Clooney Incident.
At the end of a ridiculous stand-up on Yawkey Way filmed hours before the Yanks-Sox first pitch tonight at Fenway, Dave O'Brien wrapped things up by saying that he and Sutcliffe needed to head up to the booth. Then a guy on stilts walked by. That's when the magic happened.

Initially, the hilarity was focused on Sutcliffe trying to high five the guy on stilts, but having to wait a few seconds while the guy shook hands with O'Brien. But then, as he's walking away after saying, "hey, how you doin man? Good to see ya! Alright," Sutcliffe turns back around and yells "Dustin Pedroia!" in the most "George Clooney"-esque manner imaginable.
At first I figured that the guy on stilts had a Pedroia jersey on. Nope. A Pedroia t-shirt? Negative. There's nothing in the shot that indicates anything in the area was related to Dustin Pedroia.
After re-watching this at least two dozen times, I saw that the writing on the back of stilt-guy's t-shirt said "Big League Brian". Big League Brian is apparently a staple around Fenway.
So why did Sutcliffe yell "Dustin Pedroia"? Does he have a very specific form of Tourette's that causes him to yell out random people's names? Did he have one too many Budweisers during the pre-game? Did he think that the guy on stilts was actually Pedroia?
I suppose Pedey and Big League Brian sort of look alike, in that they're both white and wear Red Sox hats, although that's the sort of assumption that got Sutcliffe's old partner-in-crime, Vasgersian, in some trouble from the PC-police earlier this year. If that's what he actually thought, then Sutcliffe is even more awesome than I thought.
If not, I'll just assume that Sutcliffe was in sudden need of someone to go over there and solve that thing and the defending MVP is the first name that popped into his head.

Redskins WR Keith Eloi Has Crazy Hops

2009-06-10T00:00:00.004-04:00

These viral videos of guys jumping out of pools or leaping over bench press set-ups in the weight room are getting kind of old. Same goes for Kevin Love hitting half-court shots like they were lay-ups or LeBron shooting from the behind the basket with ease. People have always been able to do this sort of stuff, it's only now that said stuff is instantly transmitted to the world over YouTube. (Sam Cassell, in particular, used to have a crazy behind the basket shot that me and my buddy Nick would try to duplicate at the hoop on my parent's driveway.)
That being said, this video is pretty good. Here's Keith Eloi, a Redskins rookie receiver (of course) who went undrafted and stands little chance of making the team.

If they ever make a new Dukes of Hazzard, Bo and Luke should drive a pickup truck and they should hop into it like Eloi. Jump out the pool on that, indeed.

Gratzi, Mr. Irrelevant

All Quiet on the Player Hating Front (For the Next Week)

2009-06-09T19:03:00.006-04:00

I've picked up some posting at Yahoo! this summer, so for the next week (until school lets out) I'm going to be pretty swamped. Since the Player Hater's Ball (or Chazsports, or ChrisChase.com or whatever the hell its called now) will be the loser in this deal for the next seven days, you can get your fix of me at Yahoo! or by following me on Twitter, where I'm making pithy comments like:

@chaztopher: Selig just announced the Nats pick, Drew Storen, as from Stanford Univ., Stanford, CA. Isn't Stanford in Palo Alto? Nah, Bud's never wrong.

Speaking of Twitter, check out Jamie's DC Twitter rankings. If I had any inclination to feel bad about being so low, I can just look at Dan Hellie's name and realize that it's probably much more depressing for him.
I'll still have some stuff going up here, I'm sure, but I just wanted to give you the heads up in case posting is more sporadic than usual (when it's still pretty sporadic).
I leave you with this:

Deep Thoughts, With Chris Singleton

2009-06-08T20:07:00.005-04:00

A verbatim exchange between Brian Kenny and ESPN baseball "analyst" Chris Singleton during today's 6 p.m. SportsCenter:

Brian Kenny: The White Sox trail the Tigers by 5-1/2 games. Ozzie Guillen said this was a very important series, Chris. How important is this series?
Chris Singleton: Yeah, it is an important series because if you get swept you're 8-1/2 games behind. Any time you're playing the division leader, that's your opportunity to make up some games. And when you look at the course of a long season it can come down to that one game at the end of the year. Last year the White Sox and the Twins had to play that extra game to see who was going to the playoffs. So when you look at these games and say, "aww, it's June, but it's early, but we also gotta try to win these games because when we're directly playin' the leader we gotta gain some ground, we gotta get close," and, the White Sox they really need to do that."

Jeff Teague Isn't Walking Through That Door

2009-06-05T20:04:00.006-04:00

The public comments got more and more ominous this week from Jeff Teague in regards to his chances of returning for his junior season at Wake Forest. From a USA Today article last week about players testing the NBA draft waters:

At this point, Teague said, he will hire an agent if he gets feedback indicating he will be a first-round pick.

First he wanted to be in the lottery, then he wanted to be in the top-20, now he just wants to go in the first round. As I wrote on the official Atlanta Hawks blog this week, basketball-wise, Teague needs to stay in school. But from the sounds of his comments, that's looking more and more remote.
Then came news that Teague sprained his MCL yesterday. I'd by lying if I said that the news of that minor injury didn't make me a little bit hopeful that it would force him to return to school. But then Teague's father dropped the bombshell to Jeff Goodman at FOXSports.com:

However, Teague's father echoed the recent comments of his son when he told FOXSports.com that he is likely to remain in the draft.
"I don't think this injury will alter that," Shawn Teague said. "That's the way we feel. In terms of hiring an agent, we're going to exhaust every day we can that it's an option."

Oh fffffffff -- shit. He's gone.

* Here's the link to a Teague draft preview I wrote for Hawks BasketBlog this week.

The Death of the Player Hater's Ball?

2009-06-03T22:37:00.005-04:00

As some of you noticed today, PlayerHatersBall.com now leads to a dead link. For the moment, it will stay that way. The only way to reach the site now is to go to its original address: chazsports.blogspot.com.
Here's the brief version of what happened: I registered playerhatersball.com on April 22, 2008. Like an idiot, I only signed up for a one-year registration. I did, however, have an automatic renewal that was supposed to take effect on April 22, 2009. In early April of this year, I began receiving emails from the email address: google-apps-do-not-reply@google.com. These were automatically sent to my Spam folder on Gmail (nice synergy there, guys). On April 15, 2009 I received an email that said my automatic renewal had been denied. I assume this was because my credit card number has changed in the past 12 months. I didn't see this email until today. (I hadn't even thought about the domain name renewal. I figured it would do it automatically, I had signed up for a two year deal or that I'd receive an email if there was a problem.
Today, my site went dark. I just got off the phone with GoDaddy, the site Google used to register playerhatersball.com, and the customer service rep (who was very helpful, and I'm not saying that sarcastically) informed me that a company called "National Registry Corporation" had claimed the name this afternoon. This despite the fact that the emails from Google that were in my spam folder said I had 60 days from April 22 to re-register the name.
So, for the time being, the site is back up at chazsports.blogspot.com. I'm trying to get ChrisChase.com to direct traffic toward that address. As for the people who have been using playerhatersball.com to get to the site, I don't know how I'll let them know.
This is a pretty disappointing development. Hopefully I'll get it resolved soon.

Update: Falkow notes that this is all very Jim Anchower.

The Cutting of Jon Jansen

2009-06-02T00:24:00.001-04:00

Why is the news never more upsetting when your team cuts a player that you've respected, rooted for and, in sports terms, loved for over a decade? The release of Jon Jansen should have been a sad sports moment for D.C., instead it barely made a ripple.
Is that the cynicism of becoming a Redskins fan? The realities of fielding a team in the flawed salary cap era?
Who knows. All that matters is that I wasn't as disappointed to lose a true Redskin as I should have been. It's partially because it was the right move and partially because, with this team, you've come to expect these sorts of things.
Along with Chris Samuels (who came to Washington one year later), Jansen was a mainstay on those bumbling Turner/Schottenheimer/Spurrier teams. So when Joe Gibbs came back (and brought Joe Bugel too), we all thought Jansen would be the anchor of the new revolution of Hogs -- The Dirtbags, as they were called. But on the first play of the first pre-season game under Gibbs, Jansen went down with a leg injury and was out for the season.
More injuries followed, Jansen aged and by the time of his return last season, it was clear that he was only marginal in rush blocking and completely worthless in pass blocking. Cutting him, while sad, was the right move.
But lest we start patting Dinny (Vinny Cerrato and Dan Snyder -- I'm going to start using that again) on the back for making a difficult, if reasonable, move for cap space and roster purposes, there is one major problem with the whole thing: THERE'S NOBODY TO REPLACE JANSEN! In the last two drafts, the Redskins had to know that the o-line of Samuels, Jansen, Thomas and Rabach weren't going to be around much longer. Guys on the trenches get old fast. Jonathan Ogden was ancient when he retired at 33. They needed to draft depth guys that wouldn't necessarily start immediately, but could step in to roles when players got hurt (like Jansen did) or players were cut (like Jansen did). But they didn't.
Despite the fact that guys getting old and old guys getting cut are like the death and taxes of the NFL, the team ignored its biggest need in the last draft and chose zero offensive lineman. None. The year before, Dinny saw fit to grab one tackle, or two less picks than they used on wide receivers.
Even though it was clear to anyone watching, Dinny refused to get help for a position that was rapidly diminishing. Now Jansen is gone and, while it makes sense, there's nobody to step into his role.
That's just business as usual at Redskins Park.

Yahoo!'s Tennis Experts Blog: Know It, Learn It, Bookmark It

2009-06-01T20:23:00.000-04:00

A programming note: During the remaining Grand Slam tournaments this summer, I'll be occasionally posting on Yahoo!'s Tennis Experts Blog. I know you've already been reading, but now you have an additional reason to. My first two entries are here:

Will Andy Roddick ever win another major?
Serena Williams calls opponent a "cheater" after controversial call

I started writing that Roddick post when he was down two sets to none. It saved me some time, but it blinded me to the fact that there was a much better topic: French Open officials allowing play to go on as dusk settled on Paris. Although it's probably best that I didn't, lest I post sentences likes this: Some could say the French were helping their own (Roddick lost to a Frenchman), but seeing as how much citizens of that country probably would have advised Gael Monfils to immediately surrendur, I'm not sure how accurate that sentiment is.

So, About That LeBron/Kobe Final ...

2009-05-30T23:09:00.005-04:00

In case we needed any more proof how worthless Coach of the Year awards are, Mike Brown just finished one of the most poorly coached series I've ever seen as his Cleveland Cavaliers were outplayed in each of the six games by the Orlando Magic. Brown was so bad he made Stan Van Gundy look like Red Auerbach.
Like I always say, I don't know squat about the NBA, but after watching Game 1 I figured the best plan would be to let Dwight Howard get his points while defending the perimeter against the Magic's sharpshooters. Brown's team did the first part of that, but their inability to guard Howard didn't lead to any better defense of the three-point line. They guarded the hell out of the mid-range jumper though.
So the dream matchup between LeBron and Kobe didn't happen, as those kinds of things rarely do. Does this make LeBron more likely or less likely to bolt for New York in a year? I'd say less, because I don't think he'd bail on Cleveland after winning a title.
Throughout the series I found myself rooting so hard against the Cavs that I surprised myself. I dislike LeBron, but I didn't think I disliked him that much. But I was pulling for the Magic so much you'd have thought I cared about the NBA. I do have to say that I like how LeBron walked off the court immediately after the loss instead of exchanging BS hugs with the guys on the Magic afterwards. I hate fake sportsmanship. I like it much more when guys show they care.
Although, now TNT is saying that LeBron left the locker room without talking to the media, which is an obligation not a trite gesture like slapping hands with Hedo Turkoglu. And that makes him a sore loser. (Also, I guess that huge shot is relatively meaningless now.)
A special congratulations to my old college roommate TJO, who used to delude himself every year into thinking that a healthy Grant Hill was going to lead Orlando back to the NBA Finals. This one's for you, O'Reardon:

The Onion: "Manny Ramirez to David Ortiz: 'Road Trip'"

2009-05-28T16:46:00.003-04:00

A must-read.

Ramirez and Ortiz were subsequently sighted exiting a Terre Haute, IN 7-Eleven store wearing Indianapolis 500 baseball caps and brand new neon-orange sunglasses.

"The bigger one kept asking if he should get the hat, and the other one said he would buy one if [Ortiz] did," 7-Eleven cashier Kip Petrun told reporters. "They must have tried on sunglasses for 30 minutes."

Goodbye, Jason La Canfora

2009-05-28T16:03:00.004-04:00

Remember Jason La Canfora? The Redskins beat writer who waged a personal vendetta against Vinny Cerrato in the pages of The Washington Post and accused him of slander? The guy who whined about Cerrato feeding stories to the national media? The reporter who repeatedly wrote that "sources" told him that Gregg Williams was going to be the next head coach of the team? The blogger who did an excellent job covering Sean Taylor's murder in real time?
Yeah, well he's gone.

A Soldier Lives On Through Soccer

2009-05-24T12:02:00.003-04:00

On Memorial Day weekend, a holiday whose meaning always seems to get obscured by excitement of summer, barbecues and trips to the beach, here's a nice look at the legacy of a fallen soldier. This first aired last year on ESPN, but has been running this morning on SportsCenter.

KickForNick.com

Update: The LeBron Buzzer Beater

2009-05-24T01:02:00.005-04:00

Basically, this is an excuse to show off Yahoo! Sports' new, embeddable video player -- the key word there being "embeddable".

I've been going back and forth on who I hate more, LeBron or Kobe. All year I think LeBron would have been my answer. But having sat through 90 seconds of Spike Lee's ode-to-Kobe "Kobe Doin' Work" and watching him grimace after making shots and milking everything to full effect for the cameras (including tonight when rested his hands on his knees during a post-game interview like he was about to cough up a lung), I realized that Kobe is so much more hatable because he's fun to hate. I enjoy disliking Kobe, whereas with LeBron, I don't love it. I just do.
Maybe that's because he beats the Bullets all the time. But how does that make him any different than, say, Detlef Schrempf or Richard Jefferson or Jason Kapono? Everyone beats the Bulleta. Why should we hold it against LeBron that he does so more often than most?
D.C. fans love to make rivalries with teams that don't care (sort of like Philly with Dallas in football). Maryland, Duke doesn't hate you because they don't care about you. And, Bullets, you have to beat the Cavs at some point to make it a rivalry.
So, yeah, I can't stand LeBron either. But let's focus our energies on hating Kobe because it's so much more fun to do.
Case in point: Watch LeBron's post-shot celebration. He has no idea what to do. He raises his hand, he looks for a teammate to hug, he doesn't know which teammate to hug, he's not sure whether this should be an individual celebration, he's unsure of how much jumping to do ... it's all very bush league. It's almost pity-hate at that point. Sure, then he brings the "it was a great shot" description of his own shot and you're reminded of why you started hating on LeBron in the first place, but it's not enough. The signs are there, yes. But it's a work in progress.
Kobe: He's a master well on his way to creating his Mona Lisa. If he had hit that shot, you know he'd have had his celebration plan set. One-third Michael, one-third Magic, one-third the end of Hoosiers. Because Kobe, if he's anything, is an aggregator. He knows which way the wind blows and he wants to be blowing in the same direction. And that would be hatable. Then, in the post-game interview he'd have given credit to Jordan Farmar for no apparent reason and we'd be all, "oh shut up Kobe." It would have happened.
So, you tell me. Who is more fun to hate?

The Problem With LeBron's Classic Buzzer-Beater

2009-05-22T23:36:00.004-04:00

If there's no Wizards, I start watching the NBA Playoffs during the conference finals. And the pair this year have been phenomenal, including tonight's thrilling Game 2 in the East, won by a buzzer-beating three by LeBron James after the Cavs inbounded with 1.0 seconds left.
But even in a historical NBA moment (and we'll be seeing this one for years, particularly if the Cavs go on to win this year -- it could be the shot that started it all), I can't help but be bothered by one thing. After Hedo Turkoglu hit the go-ahead shot for Orlando with 1.0 seconds, the Cavs called timeout. They were inbounding the ball under their opponent's basket and called timeout. Yet when they came out of the timeout, the Cavs inbounded the ball from midcourt, 47 feet from where they orginally had the ball. By simply calling timeout, Cleveland moved the ball half the length of the floor. Had the ball been inbounded where it should have been, the odds would have been severely stacked against Cleveland hitting the shot. It wouldn't have been impossible, but it would have been a lot harder than it was. Getting it at mid-court: Easy pass to LeBron and, for him, easy shot.
The inbound/timeout rule is preposterous. College doesn't have it, because they know its preposterous. The NBA does too, but they don't care. They just want to promote offense. It turns the game into a farce though. Advancing the ball a magical 47 feet just by calling timeout is like saying that a coach tying his shoe should change the possession arrow. It's illogical.
The team had the ball on the baseline. They should inbound it from the baseline. When a football team calls timeout on their own 35-year line, they don't set the ball on their opponent's 25 on the next play?
LeBron may have hit the biggest shot of his career tonight, but he only did so because of a ludicrous NBA ruling that turns the game into a joke.

Thursday Links: Read Some Joe Posnanski

2009-05-21T22:21:00.005-04:00

A few articles worth a read if you have some time to kill this Memorial Day weekend:

* Joe Posnanski's Sports Illustrated cover story about Cleveland.

* More Joe P: On his website, he addresses something that always annoys me: Every time there's a new 300-game winner (a club which Randy Johnson will sometime soon), everybody always says it will be the last one. They said it with Clemens. They said it with Maddux. They said it with Glavine. And now there's saying it with The Big Unit. Posnarski describes why. (And if you're going to read that, you might as well read his discussion about the topic with Bill James over at SI.com.)
I never realized Randy Johnson was such a late-bloomer. It's articles like this that make baseball great. You could never have a discussion like James and Posnanski had about football or basketball.

* A lengthy New York Times Magazine piece about Conan O'Brien's takeover of The Tonight Show. Effusive praise for Johnny and Dave, not so much for Jay. I'm not a Leno fan, but I sort of feel sorry him when he gets dumped on as much as he does. NBC pulled a Goodell by pushing him out the door.

* And, finally, it's been about a year since I've embedded this YouTube clip so I figured it's about time to do it again. Presenting, my all-time favorite internet video:

Two reasons the Redskins' name isn't as offensive as it should be

2009-05-19T16:37:00.011-04:00

Every few years there's a call to change the name of the Washington Redskins and every few years it fails, mainly because nobody cares all that much. The topic has become trendy once again, thanks to a victorious legal battle for the team in a trademark case.
After the decision, there has been the usual rabble-rousing in the media to get the name changed.
Seeing as how public pressure is the most likely route to a switch from "Redskins" (any legal proceedings would likely be bogged down for years in appeals), this might be the beginning of the tipping of the Coke machine (like with Don Imus). Or it could be the start of nothing (like with Martha Burk and Augusta National).
For the record, I think using "Redskins" as a team mascot is tremendously insensitive. It's offensive and, frankly, amazing that the name still holds today. The name is something that most fans don't like talking about because they realize how ridiculous it is, but would much rather the team be called "Redskins" instead of "Redhawks" or something lame like that.
Seeing as how ripping the name is like shooting fish in a barrel, here are two major defenses of the mascot of my favorite football team:
1) Native Americans don't care. I'll repeat that for effect: NATIVE AMERICANS DON'T CARE. In a 2004 poll, only nine percent of Native Americans said the name was offensive to them. Nine percent of people probably hate sunshine. Nine percent of people probably hate everything. So that's a pretty small minority. If the people who should be offended by the name don't care, why should a white dude in New York get all riled up about it? This isn't exactly Selma, people.
2) There was a fruit plate in the lounge yesterday at work that had strawberries, cantaloupe, grapes and blackberries. As I reached for one of the blackberries I thought about how strange it was that my phone was named after a fruit. In the ten months I've owned a Blackberry and the five years I've been conscious of their existence, it never once occurred to me that the fruit, blackberries, and the Research In Motion smartphone brand name, Blackberry, were the same thing.
Racism and phone names are different, obviously, but the point is that sometimes words are just words. When people think of the Redskins, they don't think of the Trail of Tears or Little Big Horn or Wounded Knee. They think of Sonny Jurgensen, Joe Gibbs and Clinton Portis. The team's name is the meaning now.
It's not like calling the team the Blackskins, because that name would cause everyone to think of skin color. In 2009, the word "Redskins" connotates football. In 1909, it connotated scalping Indians and forcing natives off the land.
The only time most people ever think about how racist the name "Redskins" is is when they're being told how racist it is. That doesn't make the name right, mind you. But it makes it less wrong.

Tony Kornheiser leaves Monday Night Football (or was he fired?)

2009-05-18T15:35:00.004-04:00

In a semi-surprising development, Tony Kornheiser will leave Monday Night Football and be replaced with former NFL coach Jon Gruden. As a football and TK fan this pleases me endlessly, as he was horrible in the booth, miscast in that role as Matthew McConaughey would be in Hamlet. Plus, there's a good chance he'll be back on radio soon, where he is excellent. To paraphrase what MJD wrote today on Shutdown Corner, he's as good at that as he is bad at MNF.
Speaking of Shutdown Corner though, as someone who does a live blog on Monday nights during the NFL season, I'll miss Kornheiser immensely because he gave me about 35 percent of my weekly material. I fear Jon Gruden won't be as easy to mock, although if his penchant for defending his coaching career translate to the booth, it might be easier than I expect.
The dude at DCRTV says he heard TK's excuse about hating flying (while true) was just a cover for the fact that ESPN fired him. That wouldn't be at all surprising, given that it'd be in everyone's interest (ESPN and TK) to keep a firing on the hush-hush.
My biggest question is, does this mean Jon Gruden is content to not coach again? He's only 44 years old and has yet to experience what it's like not to be coaching in the NFL. (Remember, he was fired in January.) This decision to sign a deal with ESPN while still in the prime of his coaching career seems pretty rash, no?

Where the Caps Debacle Ranks on All-Time D.C. Disappointments

2009-05-14T17:16:00.005-04:00

On a D.C. sports radio show this morning, the hosts were talking about where the Capitals Game 7 meltdown ranked on the all-time list of D.C. sports disappointments (game-wise, not Kwame Brown-wise). Here's the list my cousin George came up with:

1 - Super Bowl XVIII
2 - Last night
3 - MD losing to St Johns in 99, Stevie Francis
4 - NFC Championship 1986, 17-0 in NY
5 - 1975 Bullets losing to Golden State

That's a pretty good list, albeit one that's heavy on recent stuff because, obviously, we don't remember the old-time disappointments. George's brother added the Georgetown-Villanova championship game from 1985. Though that was a nice addition, I respectfully disagreed. The Hoyas aren't huge in D.C. and they had just won the year before.
Disappointment has to be the culmination of years of frustration, which is why the Red Sox loss in '86 would have been worse than if the same exact thing had happened in 2005. That's why the MD loss to St. John's in the '99 Sweet 16 (the Terps were a No. 2 seed, the Johnnies a No. 3) fits. The 'Skins NFC Championship loss doesn't follow that rule, but the embarrassment of getting shutout adds to the ignominy.
But I digress. My main thought is that the list really could be all Redskins-related. They're the only team that really matters in D.C.. Sure, last night was disappointing to the city but, aside from those 10,000 or so die hard Caps fans, it was a temporary feeling. It's like dropping your ice cream cone on the ground. It sucks at the moment, but you won't really care about it an hour later.
On the other hand, when the Redskins have a disappointing game, it's like dropping your ice cream cone, getting kicked in the nuts and having the side of your car keyed at the same time. It's different. I was disappointed last night, but only about 1/100th as disappointed as I was when the Redskins lost to the Rams in a regular season game last October (damn you, Pete Kendall). I think, generally, Washingtonians feel the same way. To most, the Caps are sort of like watching a U.S. team or athlete in the Olympics. You care at the moment and then it leaves your head until the next time they're in an important spot.
As for the list, even though it was 69 years ago, the Redskins 73-0 loss to the Bears in the 1940 NFL Championship game has to rank No. 1. Can you imagine if that happened today? Even Tony Romo gets his team some points when he gets blown out in a big game.

Bill Simmons Continues With His Len Bias Hagiography

2009-05-13T16:37:00.007-04:00

This afternoon on Google Reader, I shared the following excerpt from Bill Simmons' back-and-forth email conversation with Malcolm Gladwell (you may remember him from his inane piece on the press in college basketball, a piece that he doesn't defend well at all in this email chain):

In my book, I make the point that we spent so many years searching for an archrival for Jordan -- the Frazier to his Ali, someone who'd bring the best out of him -- when really, that player was Lenny Bias, and one cocaine binge ruined what should have been a fierce rivalry. Of the incoming NBA stars from 1984-90, only Bias possessed the talent and swagger to stand up to MJ in his prime.

Here's what I wrote in response:

Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP. There's no telling what Bias would have done in the NBA. But let's say he makes it past that fateful night in June. The mere fact that he was blowing lines to celebrate getting drafted suggests that he might not have handled fame and fortune very well. Not that said fact made Bias a bad person or automatically means he'd have blown his NBA chance. I'm just saying that to presume that Bias was going to challenge MJ just because he was beastly at Maryland is insanity. If Sam Perkins had died after getting drafted in '84, people would be saying the same thing about him. I mean, James Dean wasn't that good of an actor either.

The "Bias-as-savior" fantasy is a popular one for many people, Simmons in particular. It's not wrong, per se, but it's certainly not right either. It's impossible to know what lay in store for Bias in the NBA. A lot of guys were great in college and they didn't pan out in the pros.
There's a lot of revisionist history that goes on years after specific drafts. Everyone assumes Sam Bowie was the worst pick ever. At the time, nobody made much of a big deal that Jordan went third (behind Olajuwon too). And Brad Daughtery was everyone's No. 1 pick in 1986, not Bias.
Len Bias may have been an NBA superstar. But it's much more likely that he would have been either a very good one or a total bust.
This doesn't make his story any less tragic, by the way. I just think it's deceiving for Simmons and others to make broad assumptions about a career that never happened. What's wrong with saying that Bias had the potential to be great and that said potential was cut short by an untimely death? Obviously, that doesn't make for nearly as good a story.
Len Bias isn't a folktale and his story shouldn't be treated as such.